Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Effects of Effient

HI!!!!!! We are back. Sadly. Hawaii is BEAUTIFUL. Very beautiful. There is SOMETHING to say about home, but wow. What a vacation. The wedding was BEAUTIFUL. And the week (almost week) was nearly perfect.

So......I can't remember what I've shared with you since I started this blog 3 years ago (3 years? ), but in 2000, I had a huge blood clot in my leg. It went from my groin to my knee. It also broke apart and travelled to my lungs. EEEKKKKK. Anyway, that is over, I survived, and that is that. HOWEVER, you KNOW what they say about flying. And Blood Clots. And since we were on an 8 hour flight to Hawaii from Dallas, I chatted with my Doctor, and even though my current treatment does NOT call for blood thinners (except aspirin), we (ahem....paranoid me) thought it would be good to maybe delve into the world of blood thinners to protect myself on the trip. He put me on Effient because the side effects are less cumbersome than coumadin. It also isn't as restrictive on eating and DRINKING as coumadin is. So, we went for it. about B R U I S I N G!! Did I ever bruise. Lovely egg sized bruises on my knees and thighs. I am SURE I was totally cute in Hawaii sporting my shorts and bruises. HOWEVER...I didn't CARE. I was in Hawaii!! And even though I wish I didn't have one on my shoulder that showed during the wedding........I guess the alternative would have been worse.

So.....I don't even know where to begin, so I'll begin with the boring Beginning. We went to Kansas City on the 9th and spent the night in a hotel close to the airport. They offered a shuttle, so we could leave our cars parked at the hotel lot. This was NICE considering how much airport parking is.

We grabbed the shuttle around 5:45 am and headed to KCI. We met with the baggage handlers and inspectors, etc right at the curb and headed in to wait. We flew into Dallas/Ft. Worth for a layover of about an hour and a half. In hindsight, it would have been nice to have been more on the ball, so I could have arranged a meet up with a blog friend. However with our short time there, and the fact it was during her work day, it probably wouldn't have been possible.

We got on the BIG plane to Hawaii and settled in for the LOOONNNNGGGGG 8 hour flight. And although complaining is the LAST thing I want to do, suffice it to say that the plane trip was not my favorite part of the vacation. The first 5 hours were fine, but the last 3 or so got a little long.

We landed on Oahu 3:30 their time, which was 8:30 Central time. Which is what I'm accustomed to. The weather was beautiful. Marty arranged for vans to pick us up, and we all got LEI'D by the drivers. It was so fun. I'm guessing by my research of watching 80's tv growing up that everyone back then got leid when they disembarked the plane upon arrival to Hawaii.

However, now, with tourism and commercialism being what it is, you have to ARRANGE and PAY for the pleasure of being lei'd. I was lei'd at baggage claim, as were most of my family. It was by the charming shuttle driver, however, and it was still as exciting as I imagined.
Even IF I am not was still awesome!!

So, aside from huge ugly bruises and a really long flight, the trip was one of a lifetime. So, DID NOT ruin my trip with your bruises!

Toodles for now, folks!! Have a lovely Sunday!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

So, where are YOU travelling this week?

Me? Oh, just Hawaii. Oahu to be exact. Waikiki beach to be even MORE exact. **sigh** I am so very excited. We've been to Mexico as a family 6 years ago, but this will be a different trip altogether. My boys are adults. Well, son #2 is NEARLY an adult at 17. We can plan ADULT things without worrying about the 'kids'. They can trek to sites themselves if they wish, and we'll all have a super fun trip.

Perfectly's Dad and Marty are getting married on the 12th, and it will be lovely. He is very happy, so that makes it all the more awesome.

I went yesterday for a last minute nail fill and pedicure and left with entire facial wax. I was really embarassed. The nail shop does waxing too, and she convinced me that I needed my whole face waxed. Now I'll admit, I'm hairer than I'd like to be, but I'm also fair haired and fair skinned. The peach fuzz on my face has been there forever and I've never really had a problem with it, but apparently she did, and embarassed me into waxing my face. Ugh. Will I now get stubble?

But the weekend has been filled with packing type chores, and getting things READY to pack, and bottles of hair products ready to pack, etc. It's not been as daunting as I worried it would be. I am worried about the clothing situation. What if I take too much? Not enough? I'm taking my summer stuff, so what if it's too cool. I don't have any cute little jackets or sweaters. EEEEEKKKKKK. And how does one pack shoes? I dont' want the smelly shoes in with my clothes, but I need alot of shoes for the chance of many different outfits.

I'm off to make bread and pasta for suppper. And pour over my travel books again to see if I've missed any spectacular detail!

ALOHA, Internet! There will be photos! Even though I promised bathing suit pics that I've not gotten posted, i will. I really will.

Have a great start of the week!

Toodles for now!!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Is 5pm too early for wine and putting on my nightgown?

Sooooooo......where the hell have I been? Yeah....about that. We got new security software at work, and can't get to many sites. I'm lazy about going ALL. THE. WAY. TO. THE. OFFICE. to use the computer at home. I didn't like having a computer in the living room at the old house, and now that we are in the bigger, better house, and we have AN OFFICE, I don't like to get up and go to another room to use the computer. I feel isolated, and can't watch my shows. So, I've been self indulgent and lazy and have not blogged. My bad. HOWEVER, today, when it's TOO LATE, I thought of a solution!! Son #1 has a LAPTOP!! And we have WIRELESS!!! Duh! Why haven't I thought of this before??

So, I called him and he doesn't care if I use it, so I get the best of both worlds!! I'm blogging AND watching my re-runs of NCIS. I am 5 years behind, you know.

How are y'all? I've missed you so. My son says he's moving out this weekend to his own place. That means JUST when I've figured out a solution to my surfing/tv issues, he's going to take the solution!! Oh well, I'll use it while I can, and ENJOY IT!!

There's been lots going on........nothing's all been pretty nice. My anniversary was on the 26th......Married to the same fabulous guy for 23 years!! My kids are okay, and the new TV season has begun. We are still going to Hawaii, and can't wait.

I came home this afternoon and made chili. Mr. P wants chili, and when we went to the grocery to buy stuff it was COOOOLLLLDDD.....but today is beautiful. 75 and sunny. My kind of day. Since we live in the middle of nowhere, I threw on my nightgown, and ran around chopping onion, browning burger and pouring wine.

OH!! Ghost Hunters!! They have NEW EPISODES! And tonight they will be investigating the Lemp Mansion in St. Louis! I mean, they've already done it, but the episode airs tonight! This is SO COOL! I've read alot about the Lemp Mansion, and it's scary stuff!! You can stay at the Lemp mansion and I've thought about at least TOURING the place but I'm too much of a chicken. I'm facinated with it, but too chicken to check it out. Therefore, this episode of Ghost Hunters should give me an idea of what's there.

Oh, I made some more Lemoncello!! This stuff is awesome guys. This time, I took half the liquor and made one bottle of Lemoncello and one bottle of GINGER-cello. I steeped fresh ginger in with the everclear and added the simple syrup to round out the recipe, and it's AWESOME!! It's sweet and Gingery!! It' awesome in Lemon flavored sparkling water. I can't wait to try it in other drinks.

My dad seems to be doing beautifully. He's working, driving, running errands! It's so cool! He is happy and looking forward to getting married. IN HAWAII!! OMG.....can you imagine how awesome this will be??

Oh, and it's a disappointing fact that the new season of NCIS and Glee are opposite one another and I don't have a DVR. However, Glee has won out in my choice of tv fare. Despite my unfortunate couple of weeks of medication change induced obsession over Mr. Shuester, I nearly went against the grain and took up NCIS.....but Glee was too appealing. After Glee is a new quirky sit-com tht has me hog tied to the's called "Raising Hope" and either it's the lamest show ever and I'm the lamest middle aged tv addict, OR it's a smart, HILARIOUS comedy about real people in real life. I opt for the latter, because I totally don't want to be lame.

Well, I still have alot rambling around in the dusty cavity that holds my brain, but I suppose I'd better let you guys off the hook and leave my random observations for another day.

Oh, does anyone have any tips for getting a normally litter trained cat to stop peeing everywhere but his box? He poops there, so he OBVIOUSLY knows where it is, but he apparently is having adjustment issues or something. I don't want my new house to reek of CAT!!

Toodles for now. I really missed you guys!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010


I bought a dress. A DRESS!! A FANCY DRESS!!! Probably a waste of money, because I generally don't wear dresses, let alone a party type dress, but it was TOO CUTE and it was 50% off plus an additional 10% off.....I couldn't resist.

Why, you ask, don't I wear dresses? Well, Internet, let's face some brutal facts. Pantyhose are so OUT, and wearing shorts under a dress is so kindergarten......but being heavy, the thighs sort of rub together. Ugh..I KNOW!! How dare they!! But the rubbing causes near immediate sweating (which CERTAINLY is NOT cute) and the sweating leads to ultimate CHAFING. Neither of which I'm fond of or want to sport while wearing a dress.

So, I've been looking for something to wear under a dress.....something appropriately underwear-ish....and the big girl catalogs they have BLOOMERS!! A girl version of boxers! I couldn't have been MORE EXCITED!! They come in a slip.....which makes it appropriate for under skirt wear....and it elimates the skin touching fat skin, and the solution was FOUND!! So I bought the fancy dress, and the bloomers.

HOWEVER....(isn't there always with Perfectly??) I apparently ordered the wrong thing. I ordered cotton, which isn't slick and silky like nylon, and may not work as well under said dress. Crappity crap. Now I have to send them back....and wait on the nylon ones.

As I just this very moment discovered one style only comes in cotton....duh.....stupid me for not reading. So, I'll keep those, but I'll have to return the others for nylon.

So, I'm being like a guy and wearing a t-shirt and my bloomers around the house! What? It's no different than men's boxers!!

Well, I learned a tequila lesson this past weekend. Remember? I told you I met up with my high school/college friend? Well, I went to her house to a pool party on Saturday. Margarita's and wine in tow.........didn't touch the wine...I wore my new pink swimsuit.....and drank the margarita's. On an empty stomach. In the sun. WOWZA......that was a mistake! I toddled around her yard going to and fro the bathroom I'm sure looking like an ever-loving fool. Luckily Mr. P had chauffered me there, and picked me up, but, Internet? Let me tell you. Tequila is some wicked stuff! I think for a while I'll stick to my wine spritzers and girly type drinks. Whoo Boy! The hard stuff is....well....HARD!!

I found out today that PhD is COMING FOR A VISIT!! what that her family lives here and I have to share her? Who CARES!! PhD IS COMING FOR A VISIT! And her hot husband!! AND her hot husband wouldn't care ONE TINY BIT if I walked around in my bloomers. Now, MY husband, on the other hand may not appreciate it. He doesn't appear anywhere but around me in HIS bloomers. Even though people may not know the difference in shorts and his boxers. AND he won't wear his pajama pants anywhere where people may see him. He's such a prude. Son #1 brought in some dude he works with earlier this week, and I'd done my change into my nightgown, and oh is what it is.........momma in her nightgown.

I made some friend requests on Facebook and so far, all but one HAS ACCEPTED ME! The one who hasn't may not remember me, although he should. He knew me, then he met Mr. P at college, and then I met Mr. P the NEXT year at college, and realized he knew this guy, and we all were I assume he'll remember me, but who knows.

Well, that's about all I've got for now. I really do have drunken photos from the SWIM SUIT shoot of last week......but Mr. P is messing with *sigh* football pictures and hasn't gotten around to putting MY photos in a format that I can get to. Disk. Or email. Or directly in my photos folder. I'll post them someday. Really. I know you are DYING to see what I look like in my suit. GAH! You'll be sorry! or maybe I'LL be sorry!

toodles for now, peeps!!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Holy Moly!

Yeah, yeah....WTF ever...I know I was supposed to get on a normal blogging schedule (does anybody else write SCHEDULE while in their mind thinking of the prounciation of a snotty British butler saying SHHHEDGULE??)

There's SO much to talk about today. I should be cooking dinner. Because I invited Teenie and her son to eat with us.....and everything is still in the freezer, and it's 5:20 pm. Now....she hasn't responded to my hurried request for her companionship at dinner, so she may not come. But I ought to cook SOMETHING for my family, don't you think? Friend? fancy dinner. Family? Peanut Butter.

Okay, Monday, I got 4 moles removed. Well 3 moles and a skin tag. Holy Shit. SKIN TAGS! I'm OLD!! See, I'm all worried again about the blog. I've been so lacking in content, I've lost 2 of my 5 readers, and I may have gained the form of Perfectly's Dad's bride........we have a name for her, however.......MARTY....Hi Marty....if you read this. Glad if you do, but worried if you do because you know.....I worry about the verbal vomit that just flows.......but that's part of blogging. Not everyone likes what I say.

Anyway, I wanted my big gnarly pencil eraser sized mole removed from my back so it would look prettier in my Hawaii wedding attire!! I'm a moly it moley or moly? Anyway......I have lots of moles. I'm fair skinned and moley. But I got the worst offender removed, and a (hork) skin tag taken off too. I should be toned and hot...I'm still 22 in my HEART........dammit.

And, I've got bathing suits. I ordered 2 for the trip. Or do you call them swimming suits...or swim suits?'s all awkward when stuffing a size 22 body into these bad boys. I've got 2 styles, and yes. I'm going to show pictures. Obviously I'm not doing much to lose the weight, so it is what it is. I need to learn to LOVE myself, right? I can be a fat hottie, can't I? I'll do it later. After some wine, maybe. The Hawaiian people can be a little on the chunky side so maybe some people will APPRECIATE my rubenesque-ness.

Oh, guess what? The warm fuzzies came on again today!! I chatted with my college roommate on Facebook for a while! Y'all know how I love to connect with old friends. I wasn't a very nice college roommate. I got a boyfriend right away, and we were inseperable. Looking back, I realize that maybe one shouldn't be such an asshole to friends when you get a boyfriend, but I snagged a good one! 26 years later we are still together! But anyway, I failed Chrissy as a roommate. She moved out 2nd semester.......I still feel bad that I ran her off. But anyway, we've kept in touch some over the years. We were in each other's weddings, etc......and we visited today. It's just so cool. We plan to get together and get drunk. I mean.....visit over some appetizers and a scant glass of wine.

Okay, back to Marty. We had her birtday Dinner a couple of weeks ago, and it was so fun. I asked her if I could introuduce her to you guys and show pictures on my blog, and she said I could!! YAY!! She's more conservative than I, so I wondered if she'd be put off, but she was on the long as she gets to approve any photos of herself that I post. I think that's pretty fair. Especially since I didn't really give Perfectly's Dad that option. Although he's not been on here alot, I've snuck a picture or two of him here, and he's been none the wiser. So, I worry that my bad words and irreverent attitude towards drinking and hot men will offend her. I haven't had the 'talk' with her like I did my mom and explain that this is MY blog and I write what I want (sort of....I do worry alot about offending people...I've been worrying for PARAGRAPHS now that I'm going to offend some lovely Hawaiian soul that's rail thin.....), and I expect not to be judged. Unless it's positively and that she think's I'm totally cute. Then she can judge. I hate to have that conversation, because we were sort of THROWN into this blended family thing with dad's Cardiac Arrest......and I like her.......and I hope she likes me.......and you know...what if she STOPS after reading my prattling?

And I'm mildly ticked off at Perfectly's Dad. He watches NCIS ALL. THE. TIME. Even before he got sick. I'd never seen an episode. EVER. I can't get past Mark Harmon playing Ted Bundy in that 80's tv movie. It's always creeped me out a bit, but you know what, Internet? He's kind of HAWT......even as he ages........and the show is actually funny!! And interesting. So I come home from work and turn it on and usually watch two episodes!! It's kind of weird. Gibbs and Abbey are my favorite characters. Then Ziva. I can't believe I got sucked into ANOTHER show....that's been on for like 5 years, and I've missed ALL OF THE EPISODES!!

Okay...I've gotta go try on my bathing/swimming/swim suit and pour some wine. Seriously...I can't believe I committed in writing and in my brain to showing pictures of ME....IN A BATHING/SWIMMING/SWIM SUIT! Being FAT!!! omg!!

Toodles for now.

Thursday, August 12, 2010


I’m sorry I’ve lagged so in my blogging. Things have finally calmed down a bit in the Perfectly world, but I was being lazy. At the farm, our computer is away from the family room, so to have to get up, and go into ANOTHER ROOM to blog just seems like a chore sometimes, so I’ve been putting it off.

But, now that I’m here, I’ve got some REALLY BIG NEWS!! I’m so excited. WE ARE GOING TO HAWAII!! (HI…get it?… title?… says hi, as in hello, and HI as in HAWAII!!!!!). Yes, thanks to Perfectly’s Dad, my family gets to go on a lovely vacation…again! We went to Mexico 6 years ago, and now Hawaii. Oh, did I mention that there will be a tropical wedding? I didn’t? Oh……well, MY DADDY IS GETTING MARRIED!!! IN HAWAII!!!!

He’s been though one of the roughest health crisis’ I could imagine. This was planned pre cardiac arrest, but obviously, with his health in a tenuous balancing act, we didn’t know how it would pan out. But he’s feeling better, and getting stronger every day, and by later this year, he is confident that he’ll be ready to make the long trip to Oahu for a wedding and vacation. The proposal is official, and we’ve even been DRESS SHOPPING!! The girls that are going all get to be dolled up in more formal beachy attire, and they guys will be in khakis and either polos or long sleeve white shirts. Here is my dress. Mind you, it’s a size 22 and maybe I won’t look as awesome as the skinny model, but still…..A LONG DRESS…….oh, click on the color ‘pool’ (like pool blue in the color swatches) and you’ll see what color I chose. Perfect for tropical weddings, I think!! Of course, I’m hung up on my weight and looking like a popsicle instead of a member of a small wedding party, BUT, I’m still excited as all get out to wear a fancy dress. IN HAWAII!!! The other girls all chose chiffon dresses as well…….and the colors are guava, canary, wisteria and watermelon….so we’ll all look similar but different, and have our own tropical colors to brighten it up. Some dresses are short, some are long…..there are only 3 adults and 2 kids with dresses….and of course the BRIDE (her dress.....I have to get permission from her to show her pictures and identify her....she doesn't even know I have a blog)!!

We will go to a nice restaurant on the resort property afterwards, and call it done. I think they want SOME glitz and glamour, but yet quiet and simple, too….so there won’t be any crazy dancing or flowers braided into our hair (although the Hippie in me thinks that would be AWESOME). It’s going to be a totally fun, and exciting day and week!! There will be pictures and I’m sure lavish descriptions. They are getting married at one of the resort wedding venues, and not on the beach, but it OVERLOOKS the beach from what I gather. How exciting is THAT? It will be just family…12 of us, I think, including Dad and Bride……

My brain is spinning from all the excitement of a vacation and the glamour of a beach WEDDING!! I can hardly contain myself.

My 17 yr old son can’t wait to buy a t-shirt that proclaims “I got lei’d”. And my eldest is being a little more reserved on his expression of any excitement. I can’t wait to see the sights and beauty of Hawaii. Of course Mr. P is practically VERKLEMPT at the photo opportunities. Or at least I’d like to think he is. He’s pretty reserved, too. While I’ve been buying travel books and whooping it up, he’s been quietly sitting back and watching me be a fool.

So, there. That’s some GOOD news coming from my world…..compared to the latter half of June and beginning of July, this is AWESOME………

Happy Wednesday……Toodles for now!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

What a difference 3 weeks makes!

Well, my dad is home recuperating. It will be a long, slow process, but he’s home……doing alright and should make a full recovery.

There are still a lot of things to do and milestones to surpass. Even small things are tough right now……but each day he is better, recovering and will get stronger.

His heart stopped. Sudden Cardiac Arrest is what they call it. And 95% of people who suffer this at home do not survive. NINETY FIVE PERCENT. The reason being is because once the heart stops, then no oxygen gets to where it needs to be….and people perish. A defibrillator is necessary to ‘shock’ the heart back into rhythm…..and generally speaking, people do not have these conveniently stowed away for use! He now has a defibrillator/pacemaker in his chest………..portable, and convenient, so should this happen again, he has that immediate response that should get the heart started.

You guys, this was scary. Life altering, scary. I am sure I haven’t dealt with all the emotions this stirred up, and of course my own weight issues will worry me…….it has been a stressful several weeks. I am more than grateful that he’s okay, and considering this DID happen, it’s the best possible outcome, but man…....what a difficult trip it’s been.

In other news…….well, there really is no other news. We are finally just in the last several days beginning to get back to a semblance of normal in our lives………..Dad is at home and we don’t go over all the time like we did when he was in the hospital. He needs to get to a semblance of ‘normal’ himself…..and us hovering isn’t ‘normal’. Nothing about his life is ‘normal’ right now….but it has to be ‘normal’ for now. Taking a shower is a chore, right now, and healing is of the FIRST priority. In the next couple of weeks he’ll have cardiac rehab set up and the onslaught of follow up doctor visits will begin.

So, that’s it. Update over. Let’s hope I can get back to a normal blogging schedule!

Happy Monday!

Toodles for now!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Out of commission

Well, I will be out of commission a while longer, internet........My dad has been in the hospital for over a week, and will be there probably a week longer.

He suffered a cardiac arrest on 6/15/10 (which was his birthday) and they said he wouldn't make it. The first responders, EMT, and hospital provided resuscitation and CPR for 35 minutes, and shocked his heart 17 times in that 35 minutes.

He made it, and is doing well, believe it or not. However, he has bypass surgery tomorrow, and we've been told we aren't out of the woods yet. *sigh*

I have been at the hospital most of that time. We've gone out to eat twice, and other than that picked up food that can be taken there. This is my first opportunity to let you all know where I've been.

My Text buddy, Ms. Darkstar has been there all week, and I can't tell you how I appreciate her, and of course Jakki. Jakki came over to the hospital at 11 pm when all of this happened and was 'there' for me. She's been my rock!

I'll be around, but how much? I don't know. Think positive thoughts that his bypass will be successful and he'll be the same ornery, sometimes crotchety Perfectly's dad that I know and love.

Toodles for now.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Bottle Baby

Well, Internet….what…it’s been 3 weeks since we moved to the farm? We’ve already got a calf that needs to be bottle fed. As in a cow sized bottle with a teat sized nipple. And a baby momma that doesn’t take kindly to people feeding her offspring. I guess baby momma isn’t making milk for the baby. So, I was sent last Sunday to the city of Eldon, Mo, to purchase calf formula. And it’s EXPENSIVE stuff! I wonder if they have bovine WIC or milk replacement food stamps or anything?

Baby cows (or calves as they are supposed to be called) are really cute. They aren’t all crusty with other cow’s shit yet. Their hide is soft and their little noses are wet like a dog’s. They frolic in the cooler evenings and like all babies, want to suck CONSTANTLY. Those poor cow momma’s. How it must be to have a several hundred pound baby suckling at your udder.

Son #2 broke his collarbone last Friday at the Mizzou Football Camp. Yeah, that was an experience. We took him to the Orthopaedic doctor on Tuesday for a follow up (after going to Urgent Care). And since I don’t have a flair for comedy or words, I won’t be able to artfully articulate what happened there. But is really was totally funny. A young man arrived in the room and introduced himself as the Ortho doctor’s resident. He reviewed Son #2’s x-ray, and turned to face him and asked (rather, confirmed) that it was the LEFT clavicle that was broken. He sat on the stool and proceeded to exam the RIGHT collarbone. For a second, I thought maybe he wanted to compare the non broken to the broken one, but it soon became apparent that he was going by HIS left and not my son’s left. I looked at Mr. P and his expression and immediately lost my cool. I laughed so hard that tears were streaming……belly was jiggling and generally making a complete FOOL of myself. Mr. P got tickled as did son #1. Nobody could regain their composure enough to TELL the resident that he was examining the GOOD collarbone! Finally, after getting kind of a bewildered look from the resident, I tried to stop laughing in this man’s face. I breathed; I bit my lip and finally settled down just a touch. Then, Mr. P finally composed himself to tell they guy he had examined the wrong bone, and I lost it AGAIN. It’s like laughing in Church…you know you shouldn’t….but you can’t help it. The ‘preacher’ (doctor) is giving you dirty looks and all it serves to do is make you laugh HARDER.

Then the real doctor arrived and we had to pretend like we hadn’t behaved like a pack of hyenas in front of his resident. That was 10 minutes of my life that I wish I could take back, FOR SURE.

So, what have YOU been up to? It’s been a rough few weeks at the Perfectly house, so my blogging has kind of waned a bit. Not that the fives of you would really miss it!

Anyway, Happy Friday….y’all KNOW how I love Friday nights!

Toodles for now!

Friday, June 4, 2010

I AM a winner!

Guess what you guys? I WON SOMETHING. I entered a contest HERE and was the winner of some AWESOME Rachel Ray casserole dishes.

I read her site today (I was a bit behind) and saw my name!! As the WINNER!! She said that I would get an e-mail...which of course I didn't she re-sent it, and out of the TONS of junk mail I get, I actually remember seeing her name...with the subject of YOU HAVE WON or something to that effect. I get so much junk mail from girl on girl websites, payday loans,etc, that when I saw a 'girl' name with that as the subject, I figured it was porn.....or a loan......

hahaha...the joke was on was LEGIT!

So, I sent her a rambling note back referring to lesbian pay day loan sites (jokingly, of course), and now worry that I've offended. Cause y'all KNOW around here, the gays and lesbians are a facinating topic for a good way, not a judgemental petty way. LOVE THE GAYS!!

So, I'm a bit blue because none of my buddies want to hang out tonight. There's a 'foam party' at one of the clubs at the Lake tonight. Yes...I know I'm old....and fat....which makes me NOT a candidate for one of these places, but it would be so fun to go watch........just to SEE what it's all about!'

OH...speaking of the Lake of the Ozarks...Son #1 got a MAYBE job there....a PROBABLY JOB?? a a fry/grill cook. Keep your fingers crossed that it will really happen. They said they'd call him this weekend after the schedule was made, but no words of 'you are hired' were uttered, so it PROBABLY is okay, but I still worry. It's an ON THE WATER dance club.......meaning they have the dance floor and club out by the lake (I assume) what a fun place for an almost 20 yr old to work, huh? I hope it works for him.

Son #2 is at the MIZZOU football camp...and Mr. P is going up to shoot photos. So I'm on my kids....and apparently NO FRIENDS!!! I'm looking for someone to go to the ANIMAL SWAP MEET with me. It's a weird mix of people, animals, and junk that people sit around and sell...or swap......some of the folk are quite a site. Different than the folk in my world!! It's quite the people watching experience..for sure!

We've not solved our dog containment issue on the farm yet. We need an undergound fence...which aren't terribly expensive. HOWEVER the collars are OUTRAGEOUSLY up to $129.99 each!! Even though the systems come with one included, we still need to buy 2 more compatible collars.....and it's expensive! They've been pretty good. We take them out on a leash (which they hate) and sometimes just let them out with us in the yard watching. KNOCK ON WOOD this has worked well for now. No darting off after Cows or Cats, yet. Actually, I don't think they've SEEN any the jury is still out as to how this will work if/when they catch site of one. One that isn't their inside cat!! And, if we can sneak them out one by works even better, because they THINK they are getting something special!

Well, I'm out of here. Thanks SARAH for having the contest!! And wish son #1 luck with his nightclub cook job! God, I hope he gets it!!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

This post promises to be even more random than normal

OMG you all!! I have SOOOOOO much to talk about, yet none of it is really any big deal. I don’t know EVEN where to start.

Okay, we’ll start with Moving. It sucks. I hate it. We have half of our stuff at the farm and half in the old house….that is filthy and awful right now. I’ve lost my underwear (I can’t say panties, because I wear the granny ones….and those are UNDERWEAR). I have a few pair that I have to wash a lot, but my regular drawer full of choices is GONE. So, who knows where it’ll turn up. We lost money too….and found it in a garbage bag. Maybe my unders are there, too!

I have boxes everywhere, and am losing steam to get them unpacked. We’ve got so much to do that it isn’t even funny anymore. There is really no rush, except in my head….because I want it DONE…..but I don’t WANT to do it….it’s a bizarre state of affairs right now.

Oh, and I was FRUGAL earlier this week. Maybe farming will make me that way. I wanted to make a stir fry recipe and didn’t have any chicken breast. The store had BONE-IN chicken breasts on sale for .99 a POUND, so that was far more economical. I bought a couple of packages and went home and began butchering. I cut away the breast meat from the bones (well most of it….I am not a very good butcher) and threw the rest into a baking pan with onions and pepper parts and asparagus ends and ROASTED the bones to make STOCK. I boiled the stock and put it into 5 freezer containers for future use. THEN we took the boiled bones/skin down to the barn for the cats to snack on. Oh, and I used my fresh herbs that I harvested from my herb garden to flavor the stock. I am like PIONEER WOMAN or something!

Then on Tuesday night I had an embarrassing moment. I wanted to watch Idol. The last couple of weeks, I’ve not watched as much and just read who was kicked off….and watched highlights and so on. But I was tired and wanted to relax. I turned on the humongous television that was left for us and pulled up the ‘guide’. I typed in AMERICAN IDOL and it told me what channel it was on. As I was looking at the guide I realized the Glee was on (duh…how could I forget GLEE???). I tried to turn the channel, and it said ‘no subscription for this channel’. OMFG. No glee? I can live without AI, but GLEE? No freaking way. I called Direct TV to find out how much a new package would cost so I could see Glee. THAT NIGHT.

The customer service lady pointed out, while chuckling at me, that we probably had a local FOX affiliate. I asked her to look and tell me the channel. Whew. I had it after all. She thought I was nuts for not wanting to miss Glee. Mr. Schuester is HOT you guys. Hotty Mc Hot!! Take a look at this photo…..WHO KNEW that under his teacher-esque wardrobe of Glee that Matthew Morrison looked like THIS?? Yowza. Then they showed previews from next week’s Glee episode and he’s trying to ‘fake’ seduce Sue Sylvester (if you don’t’ watch the show, then you won’t understand how funny that is). And let me tell you…….YUMMY. Can’t wait.

So, that about wraps up my week. Moving, frugality, lusting after Mr. Schuester and I’m tired. Oh, during the move, my special lady time arrived. That could be the reason for the crazy setting in this week, to!

Although, I have to say. Mr. P and Son #2 worked themselves to the BONE last Saturday to move us. They worked HARD y’all. Somehow they didn’t get the crazy like I did. I know they are more tired than me, but I’m still gonna say it. I’m tired. My knees and feet hurt, and I don’t know where to put shit. I JUST DON’T KNOW!! I just want it magically done. Can someone arrange that for me?

Have a good weekend, Internets! I need to work (like at my job) and obsess about moving and Matthew Morrison some more.

Toodles for now!!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Daisy Duke is IN DA HOUSE!!!

Well. Remember when I talked about Perfectly Dad’s farm here? Well, it’s about to be Mr. P and Perfectly’s farm!! Well, not exactly the whole farm, but the house that sits on the farm. I KNOW!! Perfectly will be a farmer! Yep……Elly May here.

My dad has had this farm for 15 years. My whole life I heard him talk about wanting a farm. There are cattle on it…..a hay field…..a garden! However, he has purchased a house in my city and has moved back to town. He doesn’t want to give up his farm completely. He knows how much Mr. Perfectly loves to putter around the farm, so he suggested in January that maybe Mr. P and I buy the house and maybe 10 acres or so of yard/land and do the day to day stuff to deal with the cows, and he could still be a ‘gentleman farmer’ and come out on weekends and help during really busy times…..hay time……etc.

Mr. P is beside himself with excitement. He loves the solitary time at the farm. He’s not a terribly socially active person and prefers to hang out with just family----so this farm thing is totally for him!!

The house is actually bigger than our current house. It’s a ranch style home, built in the 1980’s, so it’s a little newer than the one we live in now. I am guessing it’s around 1700-1800 square feet. Here’s the thing. It’s ALL ON ONE LEVEL….come on ladies… KNOW how awesome that is! No more lugging groceries, or laundry!! We will have 2 full bathrooms for the first time ever----and the master bath? ……DRUMROLL PLEASE……… is as big as our current BEDROOM is! Can you IMAGINE? It has a 60 gal Jacuzzi tub-----it’s round, and is set into the floor---not just a Jacuzzi tub that looks like a tub….this is like a SPA tub or something. The kitchen is HUGE (by my standards) and was remodeled several years ago…with custom cabinetry! There is a 20x20 (roughly) family room with a fireplace.

Now, this may put a crimp in my social life. The farm is 25 miles away from Jefferson City. I won’t be able to just ‘run’ to the grocery, or just ‘run’ to do something with Teenie or Jakki. It will require a little more planning, which is something I don’t do well. However, the pros far outweigh this potential ‘crimp’ and I’ll have so much more room that more people can maybe visit me and we won’t have to go ‘out’.

We will take this kind of slow……my current house needs A L O T of work. A lot. It will get remodeled and eventually sold. So there is no ‘closing’ or deadline to get every thing out and clean and what not. We can be more leisurely about that.

However, I’m beginning to get more emotional than I thought. I think of the stereotypical moving day/days. You get a bunch of family and friends together to move. Your family and friends are cussing you because they don’t WANT to help you move, but dammit someone had helped THEM move before so they are obligated. The people moving are stressed, everyone tries to be polite, but dread the day, and end it with beer and pizza…..right? I don’t have anyone. My family (except dad) lives in Iowa. I have a very small group of friends…..and one will be on vacation and another lives in Iowa, too! Who does one call to help? I’ve unfortunately been a little weepy over that today. I’m sure Freud or someone who understands the psyche would explain that my weepiness is due to other factors……like MOVING, but manifesting itself into something different. My oldest son has been such a downer lately, and doesn’t want to be in the same ROOM with us, so I don’t even know if I can count on him. It makes me so freaking sad. I’ve always wanted a huge social network, and it’s not meant to be I guess. So, me, Mr. P and son #2 at least will plug along and start the moving process. Hopefully son #1 will jump on board, too.

And y’all thought my goat and chicken posts were odd, huh? I actually have a place to PUT them should I want to! I am fortunate to have such an awesome dad that it will afford me the luxury of moving to a bigger, newer house. How exciting!!

Here are some photos taken w/ a cell phone, so sorry for lack of clarity.

I will admit that the 'style' of decor is a little dated....and not my style, HOWEVER, that can be changed in time, so no making fun of emerald green and copious amounts of wallpaper and paneling people......2 FULL it?

Toodles for now

Monday, May 17, 2010

Cleaning Frenzy

Hello, Internet!! I need your STELLAR advice.

Um, do you remember the pesky little issue I have with not being a very good housekeeper? Well, the proverbial ‘THIS WILL BITE YOU IN THE BUTT’ moment has arrived. My house STINKS. Yes, the humidity exacerbates the problem, but frankly, when I can smell my own house….musty basement, doggie smell and the KING of HOUSEHOLD ODORS… pee, you KNOW you have a problem, because face it… don’t smell your own house………so when you CAN smell it, and smell it A LOT….it’s a real problem.

So, what are some cheap, tried and true remedies for elimination of odor? In my basement, I don’t care about how it affects flooring. It will have to be replaced at some point, so if it requires horrible chemicals, and so forth, then BRING IT…because the cat pee is the most pungent and identifiable.

Now, here’s the thing. I’ve googled this. And I’ve gotten some really good ideas. On top of actual IDEAS, I’ve heard to call your veterinarian to see how THEY manage pet odors. So, I call my trusty vet. NOTHING. Just the receptionist with her own “this is what I do at home” stuff. Not what I was asking. So, I thought “who better than the Animal Shelter”????? Same damn thing. No shelter tricks, but she told me to use Febreeze. That’s what she uses at home.

Well, folks, febreeze is not the solution for my problem! Why wouldn’t a shelter have some amazing thing they use? Even if they can’t sell it to me…….

So, Jakki brought out the BIG GUNS and suggested I call a Restoration company…….like Service master or something. So I did. Basically the same damn thing. He at least told me that they use Service Master products and can’t sell them, but no home grown tricks that I hadn’t read on google.

So, here’s what I think I will do. Google has several ‘recipes’ in varying combinations using vinegar, baking soda, hydrogen peroxide and a couple of drops of dish soap. I think I’ll try it. Here’s the plan. Douse the floor with baking soda and top it with the vinegar. Let it bubble. For quite a while. Then, clean it up.

THEN, take the peroxide with soap mixed in and allow IT to set on the floor for 15 minutes or so. Then clean THAT up. I’ve heard it works.

What do YOU think? The cat pee is pretty limited to a 2x6 foot area that we have blocked off for his use. He get perturbed when his box gets messy and sometimes uses the floor around the box. Hence the soaked in odor.

Now, I need solutions for getting dog/cat smell (general smell not necessarily urine) out of the rest of the house. HEEELLLLPPPPP.

Oh……why now? Why so up in arms? Well, we are moving. That’s part of my big ‘secret’ I’ve alluded too. And a large part of my anxiety…….but that’s all I can say. For now. That’s a little tidbit of info. No city changes, etc. Just a house change. However, that means that my house will need to be sold at some point. And I doubt a potential home buyer will desire a house with that pesky pet odor.

So, bring on the home remedies. Mind you, they need to be pretty cheap…..I can’t afford professional restoration people or cleaning people.

Oh, are any of you antique buffs….or know anything about antiques? If so, let me know so I can e-mail you a photo of something I bought as a gift……….again, can’t say more as the recipient reads this!!

Thanks! Happy Monday….toodles for now!!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Ch Ch Ch Changes

Turn and face the strange………..

It has recently come to my attention that I do not like change. Hm. How could I have gone SO MANY YEARS and not figured it out before now?

I tout myself as being free wheeling…….spur of the moment……….roll with the punches kind of person. And in many ways, I am. But true CHANGE isn’t settling well with me. Lifestyle changes. Relationship changes. BIG things.

I guess I consider my life to be warm and fuzzy. A comfy blanket that I can keep wrapped around me for security. And suddenly, the blanket needs to be washed, and I’m WITH OUT IT for a while…..and when it comes back, it smells different.

Now, this whole realization has STOMPED on my already trampled world. And I think I don’t like it. I should be able to adapt to anything. To gracefully accept what comes my way. I can’t BELIEVE that I thought I already mastered this. Change is ROCKING MY WORLD, people. And it’s not pretty.

Obviously, I have hinted at some things today and in earlier posts, which I STILL cannot discuss, *sigh* But the really sad part of it all is that some of the change in my life IS NOT BAD. It is GOOD!! But it’s change….and it triggers my anxiety like NOBODY’S business. I hate it.

I like the things in my life to be constant. I didn’t like the NCAA tournament messing with my TV schedule. Same with breaking news and weather reports; I don’t LIKE that my kids won’t listen to me anymore. That they have to make their own decisions and fail if necessary; I don’t like things not going my way! There. I said it. I am a big baby brat.

But one of the BIGGEST changes that freaks me out is realizing that I don’t DEAL WELL WITH CHANGE. I’ shocked, dismayed and embarrassed! I thought I did! Oh…..I also like to be right. A lot. I go to great lengths to assure that I am right when I feel the need. Again…not a very becoming characteristic.

So, Internet….I have a new self help project. DEAL WITH CHANGE! Happily! Gracefully!

Who’s taking bets on when my next meltdown will be? Does the Kitty get split with me?

Happy Thursday---this is my Friday as I’m off work tomorrow!! A 3 day weekend!! And one not without controversy, either. Read the Missouri news…..we are off for Harry S. Truman’s BIRTHDAY….and due to budgetary issues, people are up in arms….lots of commenting on news stories in the papers, etc.

The holiday is being removed from our official holiday rosters next year because of budget cuts……but there are lots of ‘for’ and ‘against’ us taking it this year.

So, Happy end of the week !!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

She's a Beauty

She's one in a Million Girls!!

Well, Internets.......Son #2's truck got hit. He wasn't in it, thankfully. He was in weightlifting. I got the COOLEST phone call. A cell phone number that I didn't recognize right off hand called, and I answered (you of the kids) and son #2's girlfriend was on the phone.

She was quite tentative at first saying "I really don't' know how to tell you this"...and I'm thinking that something happened with her and #2 or something. She was calling to tell me that she was going to put her things in his truck, while waiting for him to get out of weightlifting, and realized that someone had hit his truck. She was trying so hard to explain the scenario.......I couldn't wrap my mind around it.......where he was parked, etc.

As it turned out, he parked in a completely different place. He didn't go into school until around 11 am because he had strep. He had to wait 24 hours on antibiotics to go in. So he couldn't find a place to park.

Anyway---girlfriend was calling me....the MOM to tell me about the accident. That #2 didn't know about it, that the police were being called, and what should she do?

I can't tell you how impressed I am by this. Many girls AND buddies would just stand there slack jawed, with their fingers up their nose wondering....'' or something. Girlfriend was level-headed and awesome to think to let me know. I was able to get there, talk to the police and the parent of the other car driver, and get things figured out. #2 was even able to finish his lifting session!

So, back to my post of a couple of weeks ago.....don't give teens a bad rap. Some of them are smart, funny, level headed, kind and thoughtful. Some teens are confident and care enough about things to call a parent.

Girlfriend is always a pleasure to have around. She's not shy around us, she's not embarrassed when #2 is driving to call us and tell us their plans or to keep us abreast of plans.

It's a pleasure to know responsible teens. Hat's off to Girlfriend!

Now, for the details. He had to park on a street space which is under a parking lot with a hill. A car rolled down the hill and hit him in the passenger side door. Hard. The girl tried to stop the vehicle, and it rolled over her. She wasn't injured badly, but was pretty scraped up.

Here's a diagram that I made in No laughs or anything. I can't sign my own name or make a stick figure, so deal with it!! Seriously, a young child could do better than this.+

The blue car came backwards down the hill and hit his burgundy/tan truck.

So, now we have a damaged truck. Just after we got the drive shaft fixed. If the insurance company totals it, then we are S.O.L. he won't have transportation and it will suck. SUCK.

I'd like to point out that I was grousing over the financial stuff....and Ms. Darkstar reminded me that a broken truck can be fixed but a broken kid is hard to mend. So, thanks a ton Ms. D for putting my woes into perspective. I needed that.

So, two posts in a day from Perfectly!

Hope the evening is easier than the afternoon.....oh and thanks to Girlfriend. She made this SO much better!!

Toodles for now.

Mother Earth

So. The Farmer’s Market. OMG!! Can I just say that I need some Birkenstock, a peasant skirt and some beads? Oh, and some armpit and leg hair?

Teenie and I went slightly unprepared, but in a pinch, we worked it out. We realized that we didn’t have any natural fiber bags. Or ANY bags….we thought. I had brought an insulated grocery bag for the goat cheese we were planning on buying, and dug up another re-usable grocery bag in the depths of my Explorer, and off we went. Bags empty…..waiting to be filled with natures bounty. Granted, these were polyester bags, but they were re-usable. We found some hippy lady dancing behind a table selling natural fiber bags for the bounty at $10 apiece. We just stared at her dancing and moved on. There were plenty of OTHER people with their re-usable, polyester shopping bags, so we weren’t out of place.

We bought nitrate free hot dogs..goat cheese…..greehouse/pesticide free tomatoes…….lettuce……asparagus………eggs……..and some Parmesan/sesame seed cracker bread. Oh, and she bought baguettes. OH, and sauerkraut!! Obviously, the end of April doesn’t bode well for full on vegetables, HOWEVER, despite the chill in the air, and the early season, it was still so much bigger than our market here in Jeff. City. It was packed and people were everywhere. It was amazing.

We went home, and grilled Perfectly’s dad’s hamburger, the nitrate free hot dogs. We used the fresh lettuce and sauerkraut and tomatoes for our burgers and dogs. We didn’t waste anything, because geez……’s ‘SPENSIVE!! I know markets are supposed to be supportive of local growers and stuff, but isn’t it also supposed to be cheaper for the consumer? I realize there’s a lot I don’t know, but apparently, you must be ‘certified’ by some agency to call yourself ‘organic’. *snort* Anyway, there was one earnest looking young man with his mixed greens BEAUTIFULLY displayed…in a basket….with some sort of cloth lining the basket. I asked how much his greens were. $12 a POUND. A pound. Twelve Dollars. We quickly moved on and bought our pretty head, butter lettuce for $2.50. We had enough for dinner that night and the next. For $2.50. Not $12. Seriously? I was disappointed in that.

So, now I’ve got 2 bunches of asparagus to use, and 2 tomatoes to find something to use in, and we will be done with our vegetable bounty. I will make quiche with the fresh eggs, and asparagus. I will add turkey and shallot and my oh my it makes a great quiche. With the tomatoes, I’ll make a guacamole. I have an awesome recipe for a guacamole with avocados and CUCUMBERS!! It’s yummy. However, I think I’ll add tomato to the mix, and snack away with my quiche tonight.

It is days like today that make me reflect upon how lucky I am. How happy I am. The skies are blue...and people pop into your life that mean so much. You know who you are! Thank You.

Happy Tuesday!!

Friday, April 30, 2010


Okay. I am going to self-medicate my desire for organic, self sustaining farming by going to a Farmer’s Market in Columbia, MO!! I’ve heard that they had a Farmer’s market, but I didn’t know much about it.

I go to our local farmer’s market here in Jefferson City. It’s situated in the K-mart parking lot. There are probably a dozen vendors, and of course, the selection is based on season. Right now, the local farmer’s market has baked goods and bedding plants, mostly.

However, it appears that the Columbia Farmer’s market has WAAAAAAYYYY more vendors. Lots of eggs, fresh cut flowers, baked goods (baked with stone ground wheat that they grind themselves!!), herbs, veggies, and meat. We eat a lot of Chicken, so I am going to buy fresh, antibiotic/hormone free chicken! And goat cheese. There are even vendors that sell MUSHROOMS!! M.U.S.H.R.O.O.M.S!! Cultivated, I am sure, but FRESH!! I didn’t even know people GREW mushrooms around here!

Of course, there are honey vendors, berry vendors, ASPARAGUS vendors!! Omg….we love asparagus! I’ve heard it’s a bitch to grow, so we’ve never tried so I always treasure this time of year when it’s less expensive at the grocery store……..but people GROW IT AND SELL IT!

I don’t have a huge budget this month, so I will have to shop wisely, as I am sure fresh, organic, home grown, picked this week stuff is more expensive than the grocery mass market, but I am bound and determined to see what I can get for my dollar! I am so excited, that I for once am anxious for this day/night to be OVER so I can go tomorrow to Columbia!! I love my Friday Nights, so this is surprising!

We are supposed to get a round of severe storms this afternoon/evening. I don’t like storms. Another reason to move on from tonight into TOMORROW!!

I guess I’d better go prepare a menu this week that offers an opportunity for my farmer’s market fare!

Happy Friday! Toodles for now.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Conundrum of Catchphrases and Contradictions

Well, kids, the only way to say it is that the weekend sucked. I want a do-over. It was rainy, cold (well, not COLD, but chilly and damp, which does NOTHING for my hair), and it just was generally sucktastic at every twist and turn.

For TWO CONSECUTIVE evenings, my plans of grilling burgers and hotdogs and adding my own touches to canned baked beans and making cole slaw were THWARTED!! And tonight we have the annual Football Booster spaghetti dinner. So, my plans will be put aside once again. Have y’all ever had school cafeteria spaghetti? It’s not very appetizing. And to purchase the greasy, flavorless heap o’ noodles is a whopping $8! Yes, it’s for the football program, which we support, because our kids play it, but ewwwww. I think I’d rather pay the $8 to the program, and stay home and eat grilled burgers with green onions in them. If son #2 wouldn’t be offended at our lack of appearance, I think I’d do that. Actually, he wouldn’t be OFFENDED, but he seems excited about the event, and I hate to not let that thrive in him…… greasy noodles it is. I appreciate the thought behind the event, but it seems like GREEK to me that a simple, more FLAVORFUL tomato sauce can’t be created by SOMEONE with little effort and/or cost………I do it at home all the time.

So. Check out this website
Isn’t it COOL? We’ve eaten this very goat cheese at a cool Bistro in Rural Missouri. RURAL Missouri. If people in a town with less than a few people can cook, why can’t the BIG CITY (HAHA) SCHOOL CAFETERIA?

This Bistro we go to is the neatest place to eat. They take reservations only, and they make homemade GOURMET fare. He makes ricotta cheese FROM SCRATCH an makes FROM SCRATCH ravioli served in garlic and olive oil and OMG……O.M.G. They have only a few things on the menu each weekend and you eat what they are offering. They serve those yummy ravioli as an appetizer as well as warm GOAT CHEESE with herbs and toast points.

So, the goat cheese. From a sustained farm. Fresh. Goats. Grass. Fresh Air. Can we say HELL. TO. THE. YEAH.???? I am so enamored by ‘fresh’ and ‘organic’ and ‘self sustaining’ and all these buzz words of the day. Now I want goats to make cheese. And chickens to lay eggs. I really, REALLY want chickens. To lay eggs and to eat. We already get beef from Perfectly’s Dad. No hormones, no antibiotics. Fresh. Grass. Fresh Air.

Here lies the problem. I don’t want to DEAL with the goats, or chickens or the eggs. Or a garden. Or a compost site. I just want to reap the REWARDS of these efforts. Actually, I could see myself taking food scraps to a compost pile or bin. I could see myself feeding chickens, and maybe even checking for eggs. What I cannot see is cleaning a chicken coop, or for SURE not butchering or de-feathering a chicken. No way.

I am such a citified girl… blood….no feathers…no scalding water……..nope….not for me. No turning the earth with compost….no weeding (hey…I’m allergic), no goat hearding or milking……..I just WANT the stuff…….and I want it to be MINE--from MY animals and plants (cheaper…and I know it’s for real).

It’s a sad state of affairs. I want to be a hippie. A bohemian type. A true planet saver. A fresh food forager/getter. But that’s HARD y’all! Really Hard. And it takes A LOT of TIME!

I already TRIED the Shark Steam Cleaner to do my part in saving the earth, and it SUCKED! I’m back to bleach and Lysol and Febreze. Ha!! Gotcha! Not really....I just don't clean much!

So, what's a girl to do? I guess, I'll have to hit the farmer's markets and Mennonite stores for a stash of organic, huh?

Toodles for now.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Marijuana is an Herb!

Huh! Who knew!

We planted our herb garden this past weekend. Not marijuana, however, but the gold standards....Mint, basil, chives, parsley, thyme, lavendar and rosemary. Oh and one sneaky catnip found its way into my cart.....just to freak Perfectly's dad's farm cats out! I bought some for home and some for the we'd all have PLENTY of herbs this summer....and I can puree/chiffonad them and freeze them for winter soups, stews and other stuff I want to put them in.

I want a siamese cat. I don't know much about them, but they are stunning.

That's about all I've got today folks.

Oh, wait....I made a batch of hooch over the weekend, too. Not 'hooch', but limoncello. I just call it hooch....'cause that's more fun and folksy and all. I'll let you know how it turns out after a couple of weeks of the everclear steeping with the zest of 12 lemons. Then simple syrup gets added, and it's frozen. Of course, everclear won't freeze, but it makes this syrupy, cold digestif!

Happy Monday, all! Toodles!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Jump the Shark

So.....I've detailed my housekeeping deficit frequently on this blog. Y'all don't understand. I know that people say "oh, my house is a WRECK" and you find a glass in the sink and a towel neatly draped over the tub. HORRORS!!

I seriously am a loser regarding housekeeping. If 'company' is coming, we make an effort to try to make things presentable, but upon even a cursory inspection, one can see that it's NOT clean and neat.

When I do clean, I want it to be DISINFECTED. I am a firm believer of using bleach and Lysol products to disinfect surfaces. Therefore, I broke down and bought a gadget that I was seriously convinced would aid in my halfhearted housecleaning attempts. One that promised a sanitized and fresh smelling home! One that I researched extensively on frienemy, Google. One that got SHITTY reviews, but there were still those GLOWING reports of how well this gadget did the TOUGHEST of jobs.

I bought a Shark Hand Held Steam Cleaner. One that bursts forth
steam from a small jet to force the 'ick' from the tightest, hardest to reach areas. One with oodles of attachments. One with microfiber pockets to put over the attachments to clean everything from mirrors to pillows!!

Guess what? Huh? Just Guess??? sucked. Sucked Big Hairy Donkey Balls. I spent over 20 minutes splooshing hot steam into a window sill that hadn't been properly cleaned since we lived here----18 years!! It's been casually wiped, but not deep down, shiny white CLEANED. I just knew this Shark would do the trick. And it didn't. It just blew wet dirt around. It loosened some of the deep in-the-cracks grime, but woo hoo. Bleach and a toothbrush would have done the same thing. My bathroom still faintly smells like stale pee and my windows/mirrors/toilet etc are no cleaner than I could have done it with a Lysol wipe. And the worst part? 86 EFFING DOLLARS!! $86!!! I'll be visiting Target later this afternoon to return it.

I guess I'll have to buy some dollar store brushes and get after the yuck, huh?

I HATE cleaning.

happy Friday!!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


How do you say “I’m Sorry” to people you don’t know? Son #1 lost two friends to a horrific car accident Sunday night. TWO. BOYS. 19 and 20 yrs of age.

This is the phone call in the night that every person imaginable dreads; but parents especially. Parents worry unendingly about this ‘call’.

I don’t know the families of the boys involved, however, I wish I could just find them and hug them. How tragic to lose your child.

I lost twin daughters in 1989. I was 5 and a half months pregnant when I went into premature labor. I was devastated. D.E.V.A.S.T.A.T.E.D. I didn’t know how I’d ever go on. Someone I worked with told me how sorry they were, but that I should be grateful that I didn’t ‘have’ my twins for long. I was furious. How could anyone make such a COLD-HEARTED remark? Did this woman not UNDERSTAND that I’d just lost my BABIES?

Now I understand. 21 years later, I understand. Losing your babies IS devastating, and it changed who I was! But to bear, raise and love a child for 20 years, then lose them? Unimaginable. The dreaded ‘phone call’. It sends fear down my spine.

I may complain about the trials of parenting, and the antics my kids do and the heartache they cause. But they are alive. They are healthy. They are ABLE to be difficult! They are able to BE whatever they want! For this I am grateful.

One of the boys was a close friend of Son #1. I know he is grieving. As much as it pains me to think of using someone else’s tragedy…..I hope if ANYTHING can come of it, that the kids can see what happened, and LEARN from it. Learn to be a safer driver, etc. That the kids can all see how families and friends are suffering right now. Maybe, if nothing else, those kids will learn.

As a stuffy parent, learning her way back into the teenage world 30 years later………I will say…don’t judge. Don’t roll your eyes at the pierced, tattooed, orange haired teen you pass on the street. This is someone’s CHILD. This may be just a person who loves to express himself!! Don’t judge the ‘nerdy’ kids, or the ‘popular’ kids, or the ‘hick’ kids, or the ‘goth’ kids. They are all just kids. Trying to feel their way through life. A teenager may have it right. Express yourself….let your inner talents FLOW….don’t conform…..stay true to yourself and what you believe. We as adults may learn a lesson from those teens that we shy away from…………….the teens that we sometimes fear. They may actually ‘get’ it in a backwards kind of way. Be loyal to your friends…… life to the fullest. The sad part, is that these same teens that ‘get it’, don’t ‘get’ the fact that there are CONSEQUENCES.

Ah, consequences. Isn’t that why as adults we become stuffy? We know if we pierce or tattoo our bodies and dye our hair wild colors that our co-workers will judge us. We may not get a promotion….our clients may turn away from us. We conform. Because if we don’t …there are consequences.

How we HATE the consequences! We stay in a dead end job, because we HAVE a job…and ‘what if’ we went and did something we were passionate about? Maybe we’d LOSE our jobs! Does a teen care? No way……’s a CHALLENGE! Parents of small children(especially) may not go out for an evening or weekend with their friends, because *gasp* they are a PARENT….and couldn’t POSSIBLY leave the baby! What would others THINK if I went and had ‘FUN’ and left my kid! Not a teen…..they’d go on and have fun with their friends, rather than isolate themselves.

Consequences. Somehow we as PEOPLE need to grasp the need for consequences, and the differences in that as opposed to perceived consequences….the standards we hold ourselves and others to because that’s what we THINK is right. So, here’s my challenge. LIVE LIKE A TEEN! LOVE LIKE A TEEN! Bear in mind the serious consequences of things, but let societies restraints go for a while. We’d all be better for it.

Rest in peace, boys. You will be missed greatly by the HUGE group of teens and adults that loved you.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Drive Shaft on the GROUND....looking like I'm BROKE with a DRIVE SHAFT ON THE GROUND!!!

Seriously Ellen. Call me. Make me Laugh. Have me and Son #2 to your show and all the little teenagers and tweens will think he's ADORABLE. I am still on my mission to meet you and have my adorable son meet you too. He has a serious Ellen crush!

Today, I had an eye Doctor appt. Our weather man promised it to flirt with record breaking high temperatures. The birds were singing, the grass is practically growing before my eyes! I was off work, even if it was for an eye Dr. awesome was THIS going to be?

Then PERFECTLY luck kicked into high gear. When I got into the car, I saw the vet had called. They don't randomly I did something I DETEST...and called the vet and said "Hi....this is Perfectly, and I saw you called my cell phone????" Yes...I was one of THEM. Anyway, they informed me that one of my dogs was down the street at a neighbor's house. I was supposed to call the guy...Ross. I'm asking the Vet how Copper got to Ross' if she'd know......but instead I just got a phone number. I called Ross and found out that he lived a couple of doors down...I inquired to see if he happened to notice two OTHER dogs, and he didn't. I sped home, made sure that the other two were in the house (they were). I picked up Copper, and took him home. I think the guy may be a police officer. There's a house right there that a cop lives in.....and I think that may be it. So Copper did the right thing when he got lost, and found a policeman.

So, I set off to Hy Vee to pick up ingredients for an awesome veggie sandwich that I'd seen. I was in the liquor aisle (WHAAAATTT??? I was just looking....sheesh), when Son #2 called and said that his truck was broken. I asked HOW was it broken. He said that the Transmission fell out of it. Holy Crap....the TRANSMISSION? I inquired "fell out??"...and was told Yes...FELL OUT.

I crazily tried to reach Mr. P while trying to get to my kid, with a gazillion transmission parts all over some street. Mr. P and Son #2 talked and they determined that it wasn't really the transmission...but the drive train...or drive shaft...or SOMETHING necessary to make the truck GO. Apparently this is bad, but not nearly as bad as a whole transmission.

So, I abandoned the thought of lovely grilled eggplant and red pepper sandwiches with pesto and goat cheese and went to a fast food place (I hadn't eaten since 10 am....what of it??) It was sort of just okay. Oh, and who happened to drive up behind me? My Oldest who was there to buy a soft drink...who graciously hopped out of HIS car and ran up to mine where I was ordering asking me to buy his large drink.

So I came home, and waited the result of the truck. They are out doing boy things like probably looking underneath and trying to diagnosis it (yep.....SOMETHING fell won't START). Then we'll take it somewhere to see if it can be fixed, or if we'll have to put it down.

Now, I know we are LUCKY. We have two working vehicles. But the sheer convenience of having the boys having their own vehicles is because WE DON'T HAVE TO TAKE them EVERYWHERE...Which makes our lives so. much. easier. I should grouse.....we have transportation, we have a home, we have everything we need, but sometimes the Princess in me STILL wants to shout that I am ALREADY STRESSED. I have two teenage boys.....a full time job......a 'secret' that I have to fret eldest teenage son that I worry NON-STOP about (that friends is fodder for another post), and now a stinking drive SOMETHING or other that is on the ground. Hey....maybe I could get Ellen to let me sing 'Drive Shaft on the Ground' on American Idol and become an overnight success!! I could GET a newer vehicle for me and pass the older one on to the boy!!

So, now the house is hot and humid. Outside is LOVELY, but there's no-one here to sit out there with me...and the dogs aren't the best conversationalists.

So I'm grousing here. Admittedly, I shouldn't. I have so many PERFECT things in my life...I shouldn't let teenagers, a stressful change, or a truck get me down.

But it does....oh, and I have bi-focals. This is not new but they had to 'up' the strength of them, and I'm mildly nauseous from weird glasses and contacts.

C'mon Ellen......don't you FEEL MY PAIN? Oh..I'll twitter you too...or tweet you, or whatever......I'm on a QUEST!!

Happy Summer when it's still early Spring!!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Glitch

Yes, the Sprint Glitch is BAAAACCCKKKK! I’ve contacted Brandon in Executive Services…..who actually is nice, he just isn’t doing what I want, so I’m ticked. I’ve spoken to a manager ABOVE Brandon…a Richard Layne and he’s none too pleased with me, either.

Yea….the saga continues. The ‘glitch’ is a billing glitch. So after I chewed everyone I could POSSIBLY get hold of on Friday, on Sunday, amazingly, Mr. P’s phone stops working. K.A.P.U.T. The keys won’t make anything happen. Incoming calls can be seen on the screen, but not answered….texts can’t be sent or received, etc. I’d used the phone myself on Sunday morning…then he went to use it and it was fried.

We took it to a Sprint repair shop, and they say that the phone got wet, thereby voiding the manufacturers warranty. Wet. My Techie husband who never allows ANYTHING to cross contaminate his electronics (he has cases, skins, carriers, etc) got his phone wet? I don’t think so.

I called Sprint back yesterday accusing them of not giving the right diagnosis, or having flagged our file to be a persistent offender and a problem child…or SOMETHING. WE have no idea whether or not Sprint caused the ‘wet’ to be in the keyboard or not. All we know is that it worked, then it didn’t and then they said WE got it wet.

So, then I get up this morning, and check on things and the GLITCH is back. Again. Fourth time in a shade over a week. I got on the horn with Brandon, and he stayed on the line with me during the call to the billing department. Where I talked to a representative, a supervisor AND A MANAGER. I was on with them for over 15 minutes and THANK GAWD Brandon got to hear some of what I was told. It was completely contradictory to the notes previous reps had put onto the record.

Sheesh. So, Mr. P is without a blackberry, the glitch came back and has been fixed. I’ve accused Sprint of rigging my account to disable Mr. P’s phone and still no service credit for any/all of the hassle. I even went to AT&T while on HOLD with Sprint and it would be too expensive to chuck Sprint and their contracts that we are locked into.

I’m baffled folks. Baffled.

Oh……..and I kicked son #1 out of the house. I didn’t stick to it, but I got the nerve to utter the words.

Needless to say, I am a nervous wreck. Hold me Internet…..pleeeeeezzzzeeee?

Toodles for now.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Who you are DOES matter!!

Remember how I’ve prostituted myself for comments and a wide readership? TODAY is a day that I really wish I was Crissy popular! If I were popular, maybe Sprint would READ THIS and act!!

We carry Sprint service on our cell phones. We’ve recently eliminated our landline (which we’ve had for 20+ years…hyperventilate!!!!), and use our cells almost exclusively. We have a ‘MagicJack’ number to give to people who NEED our phone number on file, but we don’t use it much for calls.

Anyway….Sprint it is. And although we have liked their phones and services, their customer service SUCKS. They are rude, incompetent, and condescending.

This morning (I will try to make this brief….but y’all know how that goes) We had a major glitch. The THIRD glitch this week…..the SAME glitch……three times. This Week.

Each time I’ve called, the people have assured me that the ‘glitch’ is fixed….no worries…..the people before them didn’t fix the ‘glitch’ right…..BLAH BLAH BLAH.

This morning, the GLITCH was back. I dug through my scraps of paper (I have hoarding tendencies for scraps of paper with numbers and notes on them), and found my TRUSTY number for the TOP GUN customer service staff. You have to go through receptionists, and have case numbers and all that shit to talk to these people.

THREE TIMES this morning I called and asked for the Escalation area………..that I did NOT want Account Services or Customer Ser vice…I wanted CORPORATE ESCALATIONS!!! Each time I was transferred, Internets, I got Account Services. HOW MUCH CLEARER DO I NEED TO BE WHEN I SAY ‘I DO NOT WANT ACCOUNT SERVICES’????? Account Services did fix the Glitch, but she was quite Testy in doing so. Therefore, I wasn’t done with my Sprint quest for satisfaction. I was going to TRY to get the corporate people to HEAR ME OUT!!!

Before the fourth time I called, I’d gone to my frienemy, Google, to try to find the number for the President of freaking Sprint these days, and saw a term of ‘Executive Services’. I called my handy number back and asked for Executive Service…..not Account services, or Customer service. Lo and Behold….I got BRANDON in Executive Services.

Yes, he can hear and certainly understand my frustration. But no. He can’t provide me a monetary service credit on my account. The can only do that in cases where Sprint has erred.

Hmmmmm……I asked HIM…explain how Sprint didn’t ‘ERR’?? The GLITCH happened 3 times…in one week, despite 4 phone calls from me to make every effort on my part to FIX the glitch??

He said now that the GLITCH is fixed, the problem was resolved. So I brought out the big guns……asking him TOUGH questions, like ‘so apparently Sprint is okay with your customers receiving crummy service’??

No, ma’am……but we fixed the problem.

(me) Again…after I had to call FOUR TIMES….IN A WEEK to fix the glitch because Sprint didn’t ever take care of it….how is that not Sprint’s fault?

(Brandon) I know you are frustrated, but my area doesn’t get involved with the GLITCH area….we can only intervene in behalf of the customer. Now if you had called Executive services while the GLITCH was still going on and not corrected yet, then I could have intervened for you.

(me…….head spinning into ORBIT): I did try to reach your department….3 times this morning. One of those times was before the GLITCH was corrected, but your operator kept sending me to Account Services when I asked for Corporate Escalations!! The last time, when I finally got YOU, I asked for Executive Services.

(Brandon) see, that’s the problem. You asked for Escalations and not Executive Services. Our operator knows that Escalation starts with Account Services.

(me…..practically screaming) What is WRONG with you people? I may have used the wrong TERMINOLOGY with the word Escalations, but when I told your operator that I DID NOT WANT ACCOUNT SERVICES…maybe something should have clicked with her that I didn’t want to speak to that department, huh?

(Brandon) I don’t know what you want me to do. We can’t get you a credit on your account, because the GLITCH was fixed.

(me) OMFG……are you serious. I’ve had to call your office 4x this week to fix the GLITCH. I NEGELECTFULLY use the incorrect WORD when telling your operator who I wanted to speak with about the GLITCH…..even though I specifically said I didn’t want Account Services…that’s where she sent me. Account Services fixed the GLITCH, but were rude. I finally get ahold of the CORPORATE EXECUTIVE SERVICES…after researching on Google the right term, and because the Glitch was fixed, you can’t offer me any compensation for YOUR ERROR and my HORRIBLE frustration?

(Brandon) Well, I will speak to my managers about your dissatisfaction and will call you back. It ‘should’ be later today.
See, Internets?? If I were popular, Sprint would eventually get this blog and happily handle my customer dissatisfaction. They’d make it right……Apologize all over themselves and credit my account for my near heart attack in trying to communicate with their IDIOT staff.

However, I’m just a shlub……..not popular, or anything. (sad face) So my rant will stay with you all. But I know you all love me and will at least feel my pain.

I thank you for that.

Toodles for now.

Friday, March 12, 2010

To branch out or not to branch out

I work in a job that pays $25,000 per year. I get good benefits, decent security, some cool co-workers (and then the totally off kilter co-workers, too), and a job that I really do like.

Our State Government is probably going to have to cut another 1000 jobs in the near future. Here’s to hoping mine and Mr. P’s are not on the ‘list’. I have 15 yrs of experience in THIS job, and another 7 in other State Government offices….for a total of 22 years…..

There’s a job in our department that is open. It pays $2800 more per year. In a consumer service position that I would probably do well in. However, with job cuts looming I am fearful of being put on 6 months of probation after all this time to change jobs. Probationary positions can be cut for no reason during the probationary period and are not up for appeal.

So, do I branch out and take a risk for less than $3000 more a year…..oh, yeah…I’d lose my flex time, which I love. I ADORE. However, due to circumstances, I may need to change my schedule ANYWAY. I just don’t know that for sure yet.

So, loss of a great flex schedule (7 am to 3:30 pm), risk while on probation, and risk of the security I feel in doing the same job for 15 years. Oh, and I’d move to a different area from my beloved Jakki.

The Pros are moving up, taking a risk, making more money and showing the Department in which I work that I am flexible, valuable and up for any challenge. Oh and moving away from the few INSUFFERABLE co-workers.

What would YOU do? This is all for naught if I’d be turned down for the job. Put that in the negative column, too.

I’m conflicted and nervous. 15 years ago, I would have applied in a heartbeat. I felt like I could do ANY job with ease. That I was GOOD! Now, as a 40 something person, I’ve gotten soft (yes......fat joke can be inserted here). I’ve gotten complacent. I’ve grown into a big CHICKEN.

Do you all have any exciting weekend plans? Really? Me either. I’m just excited it’s a weekend!!

Toodles, Kids!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Okay….I am weighing in

On American Idol. Yep, I’m a watcher. Last year I was bound and determined NOT to adore Adam Lambert….because everyone loved him. That’s how I roll, people. I tend to inwardly shun convention. Outwardly, you’d think I’m the biggest conformist ever…….everything kind of blah about me and my life. But INSIDE I’m a rebel. But as it turned out, he ended up being my total favorite. Despite my decision (without regard to his talent) that I wasn’t going to like him, I did. He should’ve won. And I DO adore him.

This year, I have chosen my faves already. Crystal Bowersox in the lead!! The girl is awesome. I love her voice . And Lilly Scott….and Didi B (can’t remember her last name…..and too lazy to look it up). I usually like the boys better, but not this year. The boys are a little blah.

A girl here at work has a second cousin competing currently in American Idol. Yep….he’s one of the contestants that sang LAST NIGHT. I was BOUND AND DETERMINED not to like him……you know……being FORCED into liking him by way of knowing one of his family members. I wasn’t gonna do it. I was not going to be obliged to like someone. But guess what happened? I like him. I genuinely like him. He’s got a good voice. A REALLY good voice.

My original decision not to like the guy is no reflection of my co-worker…….I just didn’t want to find myself needing to make nice about the kid if he wasn’t good. Well, he is. And in my opinion he’s the best of the boys. Internet, vote for Alex Lambert. OFTEN. He’s shy…..he’s scared, but he’s GOOD!! He’s unique!! I feel guilty for judging him before the fact, but I didn’t want to have to pretend. I wanted my decision to be MINE instead of a pre conceived notion that I HAD to like him. Well, I don’t have to pretend. He’s my favorite of all the boys.

The internet makes fun of his nervousness, but rarely is his TALENT mentioned. Because he doesn’t have the stage presence of some of his competitors, he may lose out. Which will be a shame. If we get another teeny bop pop singer, or blues rock boy, or hip hop man I’ll be sick. What about a little old time, gravelly voice, good singer for once!

My bets are still on Crystal Bowersox to take it all, which is really a shame. She should be as lucky as Chris Daughtry to be cut late in the game and avoid the Idol contractual crap and get her own agent and record an album. Can you see her singing the pansy ballad they always have for the winner?

Anyway, that’s my AI take this year. And if Alex L makes it through tonight, VOTE FOR HIM! Keep him on there so he has a SHOT!

Oh, and on a separate note, Mother Nature roared into our town last night. Around 10:30, TORNADO SIRENS went off…I was in a DEAD SLEEP…….I wandered around all foggy for a while, and headed downstairs at the urging of Mr. P. When my creaky old knees and fat butt made it down, he announced that our county had been cleared and I could go back to bed. So, I trudged back up and watched the weather for a while, to see if any other Mid Missouri town would get hit by a rogue storm….then gave up and went to sleep. 6 am came way too soon this morning. I slept well, went to bed early, and other than a brief interruption of sleep at 10:30, slept clear through the night!! So, why am I so TIRED today?

Well, that’s my Thursday babble. Enjoy the day!!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I spend a lot of time petting my Wiener.

He’s so soft and cuddly. He burrows under my blanket, up close to me. When I scratch him he gives big, wet kisses. He’s warm, and LOVES to hide in dark warm places. Of late he’s gotten fat. I’m hoping with the nicer weather coming, that he’ll get more exercise!!

I know…….my 3’s of readers know that I have a DACHSHUND, but those of you who don’t know me, I was hoping to be funny! We’ve made entire evenings funny at the expense of poor Dex, the dachshund. He can’t help it that he’s a fat wiener! Well, he CAN, if he’d eat less, but, he can’t help being a wiener at any rate. We particularly make these poor wiener jokes around my 16 yr old son, who thinks we are totally lame. We think we are really hysterical.

So, I haven’t talked about the canine boys in a while. Probably because they, just like the rest of my life, are still the same as ever. Buster is snappy, and humps the cat daily…while the cat just patiently waits for it to all be over. Copper is the ever patient, sweet gentleman, who obsessively licks himself. Dex is a goofy, loving, even tempered, and ADORABLE. It’s hard to play favorites, but I think Dex may be the cutest dog we’ve ever had. And the sweetest. I mean, they are all sweet, but have quirks in their personality. Dex is just a doll. A totally UNTRAINED doll, but a doll nonetheless.

Speaking of training, does anyone out there have an opinion on underground fences? How hard is it to train stubborn and/or older small dogs to obey the boundaries? Is the correction strong enough to keep them from flying through it to chase a cat..or squirrel, or rabbit? Mind you, we do not have well trained dogs. Two of the three will sit on command ONLY for a treat. That’s it. Dex is hopeless with training. He just submits, pees and goes CRAZY if he sees/smells/ hears treats. Buster knows when he goes on a car ride he has to go pee on a bush first……….so I know HE is capable of learning, but the other two? Especially the Doxie…I’m not sure. I worry.

So, tell me what you know about underground fences. Are they humane? Do they work? Can a stubborn, untrained dog be trained? Even if the stubborn dog has semi-lazy parents? They need a bigger place to run, so an underground fence far cheaper solution than new fencing.

Do you know if you can train dogs to doodie in a certain place in the yard? Easily train them?m Right now they go all over the yard, and it’s a bitch to clean, when we do so. Right now, after the snow, we’ve sort of just left it all, and the yard is naaaassssstttyyyy. 3 little boys make a lot of doo!!

So all you dog experts, weigh in……I need opinions!

Happy Wednesday………..

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The $22 Tomato

Perfectly’s Dad has a farm…..ei ei OHHHHH. And on this farm he has a GARDEN! Ei ei OHHHHH! With a Tomato plant here, a zucchini plant there, here a plant, there a plant, everywhere a plant plant.

I guess you get the picture. And as you all know, Perfectly isn’t the outdoorsy sort. At all. Ever. Unless it’s under an umbrella (patio, or beach) with a pretty, sparkly drink in her green nailed hand. But do I ever love the garden. Actually the PRODUCE from the garden. I don’t work in it. I break out easily, and don’t enjoy the laborious nature of garden work. Oh, I may go on a pleasant afternoon and casually gaze at the budding veggies, but that’s about the extent of my gardening interest. Other than preparing and eating the bounty

However, I am mildly obsessed with gardening from afar. As in, things I want IN the garden and organic compost that I want Mr. P and my dad to deal with to provide me with healthy, yummy produce. I want home remedy pesticides, and compost (luckily Perfectly’s dad has plenty of Moo Manure on his place to help the compost cook). I want HEIRLOOM tomatoes, and other heirloom veggies.

So, as it happens sometimes, my dad and I actually shared a similar thought. As we were discussing the items we (as in Mr. P and me) would like to add to his garden, Perfectly’s dad mentioned that he’d like some heirloom tomatoes this year. Say WHAAATTTT?? My dad wanting something kind of hippy and trendy? Something other than Big Boy, and Big Bertha beefsteaks?

Armed with this information, I began perusing the internet yesterday looking for information on heirloom tomatoes. Somehow, buying an heirloom tomato plant from Lowe’s or Wal Mart seems so…well, not right…….like fake or something. What about REAL heirloom tomatoes?

I ran across a site—freakishly called! Run by a seemingly VERY nice lady named Laurel. And on her site she has HUNDREDS of heirloom varieties! And her descriptions need to be academy award winning…….the words bountiful, luscious, juicy, velvety, fragrant, complex…..ABOUND in her site. It’s too much for a wanna be hippy/bohemian to take!! I was drawn to her purple colored explanation that she had some ORIGINAL ‘Purple Haze’ tomato seeds…..only 300. And she was taking pre-orders for this FABULOUS…..RARE… of the line plant! Only ONE PER CUSTOMER.

Well-----nobody is going to deprive Perfectly of a RARE, purple tomato plant…NOBODY!! I was going to get my one per customer plant!! So, as soon as I thought she may be open for business (she’s in California, which is 2 hours behind us in time), I called her. She excitedly told me that there were very limited supplies of the Purple Haze………and she was SO EXCITED about them……and yes, I could just order one item……..she’d be happy to send it out according to our planting ‘zone’ here in Missouri. How would I like to pay? Debit card? No problem!!

That will be $22.75 with the plant, shipping and handling. Thank you for your order. I hope you decide to order more plants from us later on!!

Holy seeds, Batman. I now have a Hella expensive tomato plant on order. One that cost quadruple of one I could have gotten from Lowe’s or Wal Mart---which I’m sure are chock full of pesticides. Sigh. I’ve informed Dad and Mr. P that they WILL lovingly support my Purple Haze tomato Plant, and make it grow. Baby it…nurture it… it. DAMN IT….I will get purple tomatoes!!!! Won’t I?

Guess, what, though? I plan on ordering more next week!!! Mr. P will kill me. So will Perfectly’s dad. But OMG….how fun are the rare varieties of plants? The fruit that is BURSTING with luscious flavor?

Oh, yes folks. I’ve got my list started. Hawaiian Current, Marianna’s Peace and German yellow. I may even get a book from the Library about heirloom tomatoes.

Tomorrow, kids, we’ll discuss composting from afar. Mr. P will be THRILLED!! I’ll have to buy some drink umbrellas l so I can watch the gardening with STYLE!!

Toodles for now…….

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Okay, so I missed the ENTIRE month of February…………

What can I say….it was my Birthday! Technically speaking, my birthday was only one day, but still….I think a month celebration/hiatus was alright, don’t you? Besides, I don’t get many readers anymore, so I’m feeling blue.

Hey….I got my nails done. Yes, it’s been since 2-12, but I got them done in the ‘french’ manicure style, only with brown tips…..I KNOW!! So out of my Midwest mom comfort zone! You know the even cooler thing? When I went in Saturday to get them filled, I changed the tip color to GREEN!!! Sparkly green!! For St. Patrick’s day! And yes, they ARE totally a St. Patrick’s day green!!

So, what’s new with all of you? Nothing and everything on this end. Yes, we are still experiencing the ‘unknown’ of worry……still a potentially good thing, but we are still in the dark about if (for sure), when, etc … our new ‘good thing’ may happen!! I’m still not at liberty to discuss, BUT when I can, I’ll be sure to fill you all in! I usually don’t keep stuff a big secret, but since this involves other people, I have to keep my mouth shut. For now.

So, I guess I don’t really know why I didn’t blog for the WHOLE MONTH OF FEBRUARY. Work has been really busy….and I’ve been totally un-motivated at home. You should see my house. It’s really awful. As Y’all know, I’m not a good housekeeper anyway, BUT my strange state of mind has somehow kept me from doing even the BASICS. And it shows. Wowza, it’s a mess. Clutter AND dirt abound.

My doctor changed my meds, however, and I think I feel a touch better……….he actually prescribed Prozac for me 2 years ago to help with some really UGLY pms symptoms. And it WORKED! Not only did it work, I noticed some changes in my overall outlook on life…….I laughed more……..etc. However, I noticed my tendency to revert back to unmotivation, and dwelling on stuff, and seeming a little less perky…… he changed it. I’m now on Paxil which is supposed to help with anxiety at the same time as other Pms-ish and minor deperession symptoms. Over the weekend, I noticed I actually did a couple of things. Like help Mr. P clean out some basement cabinets. Like swiffering the bathroom floor……….

So, maybe things are back on the upswing……..maybe I can get some of my MOJO back, and get some crap DONE in my life. Maybe I can go back to prostituting myself for COMMENTS!! Maybe I can be FUNNY…….maybe I can turn the WORLD ON WITH MY SMILE!! Okay, maybe that’s a bit much, but I feel Spring coming, and hopefully things will look up. Not that they were down, but I suppose I was a bit blue.

I keep looking at my green nails!! How fun are they! This is my little rebel moment…..proof that I want to be left of center….not the ‘norm’…..FUNKY……..bohemian (sort of). I get weird looks from all the other ‘mom’ types, but I really don’t care. Convention is generally not my style.

So….enough make up babble…….I really don’t have much important to say, but I thank those of you who checked my blog during the hiatus!!

Toodles for now!

Friday, January 29, 2010


I was quite the naïve child. I didn’t know that THEN, of course, but looking back, I totally was. My parents did a pretty good job raising me. My father was far too strict with some things, but he was doing what he thought was right at the time. He tells me now that he can see how he was too hard on me. But that’s ANOTHER therapy session.

Growing up, I do not recall my parents being politically outspoken, religiously outspoken or prejudiced. I grew up thinking the world was totally cool, totally normal everywhere. I remember when I was in the 4th grade and asking my mother what an abortion was. Funny, I don’t remember the conversation, but it was in the news ALL THE TIME, so I asked. I may have to ask her if she remembers her answer to me.

Anyway, in the 4th grade, I had a slumber party for my birthday…..what, probably 10 in 4th grade? I had several classmates over, including my friend Lavania. Lavania always ran her hand from the top of my head to my middle back…over my hair…..ALWAYS commenting on how soft it was. I would barely run a brush through the mop of hair…I didn’t care about hair…….I didn’t understand why she thought it was interesting. But as long as we were friends, I didn’t care if she liked my hair……or touched my hair…..I just liked being with her.

Anyway, my grandparents were also at my house for a visit at my birthday. They helped mom corral us little squealing girls. At some point I opened presents, and we were going to change into our jammies. Lavania forgot her jammies, so I gave her my brand new nightgown. Right out of the plastic……..I had other jammies, since this was my house, so who CARED if she wore my new ones? I certainly didn’t!!

Lavania’s mom drove by and brought her daughter her own jammies. We immediately changed, and I took my new gown from her and put IT on, and she put her own on……..we were cool….a bunch of squealy girls in our jammies.

Apparently, my grandmother was not as excited. You see, Lavania was black. Apparently my grandma had a real problem with me putting on the same gown that she’d just taken off………I didn’t know this until years later. My mom handled it. I didn’t even know my grandparents were PREJUDICED until I was in college and got to hear my grandpa spout off about the how the world was crumbling due to all the crime caused by blacks.

I argued and argued and argued with him…..thinking he’d CERTAINLY begin to understand my position. Finally Mr. P…who was my ‘boyfriend’ at the time made me realize that all the arguing in the world would never change my grandparents view. Never. I was crushed.

Now, I adore my grandparents. They are still living…grandpa will be 92 next week and he’s quite a pistol. To this day, I’ve never been brave enough to try to bring up race with them again.

My dad is politically conservative……and somewhat homophobic and a tiny bit racist. I was FLOORED when I was old enough to realize it. My mother is very religious. Who knew?

I am not religious, I am more liberal in my politics, I am not prejudiced ( I hope), and I am not homophobic. I think my parents did a MARVELOUS job of managing to keep me out of the fray of politics and religion. Letting me make up my OWN mind about things. And accepting me and loving me despite my adult disagreements with some of their ways of life.

I don’t know if me being naïve was a product of parenting, or just my nature, and I didn’t see what was right in front of me. Either way, neither of them forced their ‘will’ onto me and I am forever grateful to them for that.
I hate that my grandparents are racist. But I love them, so that is a part of them I have to accept, despite my complete offense to that mindset. I have no idea how I grew up as closely with them and didn’t realize it until college.

My mom told me the story about Lavania, and it broke my heart. It still does. Why in the world should it matter if two little girls share a nightgown? We weren’t dirty, we weren’t infected with chicken pox, and little girls share clothing, hair accessories and the like ALL THE TIME. I can’t imagine why in the world anyone would think it was wrong to switch jammies. It’s heartbreaking.

I thank my mom in my head all the time for not allowing that negativity to seep into my party. We didn’t know there was any dissent in the family…and I forever appreciate that. And my naivety continued on into my adulthood. I didn’t realize the ‘hair’ issue between African American and Caucasian individuals…………now I know that Lavania really did like my hair, and probably wished hers was more like it. I don’t remember for sure, but I imagine probably wishing my hair could be put up in some braids and left ALONE………I didn’t want to mess with long hair………ugh…… as an adult, I see there was a lot more too it.

So, internet, take some time to look around you and appreciate others for who they are. Let your kids find their OWN way in the political/racial world, and leave the negativity out of your teachings………I am so happy my own parents did.

And, Lavania? I think of you all the time, and wonder who you are today, and if you have kids, a husband, a wife…….where you work………I just wish you knew how much of an impact you had on my life.

Happy Friday, everyone!!