Turn and face the strange………..
It has recently come to my attention that I do not like change. Hm. How could I have gone SO MANY YEARS and not figured it out before now?
I tout myself as being free wheeling…….spur of the moment……….roll with the punches kind of person. And in many ways, I am. But true CHANGE isn’t settling well with me. Lifestyle changes. Relationship changes. BIG things.
I guess I consider my life to be warm and fuzzy. A comfy blanket that I can keep wrapped around me for security. And suddenly, the blanket needs to be washed, and I’m WITH OUT IT for a while…..and when it comes back, it smells different.
Now, this whole realization has STOMPED on my already trampled world. And I think I don’t like it. I should be able to adapt to anything. To gracefully accept what comes my way. I can’t BELIEVE that I thought I already mastered this. Change is ROCKING MY WORLD, people. And it’s not pretty.
Obviously, I have hinted at some things today and in earlier posts, which I STILL cannot discuss, *sigh* But the really sad part of it all is that some of the change in my life IS NOT BAD. It is GOOD!! But it’s change….and it triggers my anxiety like NOBODY’S business. I hate it.
I like the things in my life to be constant. I didn’t like the NCAA tournament messing with my TV schedule. Same with breaking news and weather reports; I don’t LIKE that my kids won’t listen to me anymore. That they have to make their own decisions and fail if necessary; I don’t like things not going my way! There. I said it. I am a big baby brat.
But one of the BIGGEST changes that freaks me out is realizing that I don’t DEAL WELL WITH CHANGE. I’ shocked, dismayed and embarrassed! I thought I did! Oh…..I also like to be right. A lot. I go to great lengths to assure that I am right when I feel the need. Again…not a very becoming characteristic.
So, Internet….I have a new self help project. DEAL WITH CHANGE! Happily! Gracefully!
Who’s taking bets on when my next meltdown will be? Does the Kitty get split with me?
Happy Thursday---this is my Friday as I’m off work tomorrow!! A 3 day weekend!! And one not without controversy, either. Read the Missouri news…..we are off for Harry S. Truman’s BIRTHDAY….and due to budgetary issues, people are up in arms….lots of commenting on news stories in the papers, etc.
The holiday is being removed from our official holiday rosters next year because of budget cuts……but there are lots of ‘for’ and ‘against’ us taking it this year.
So, Happy end of the week !!