Tuesday, April 28, 2009


I am simultaneously facinated, horrified and ANGERED by the 'junkers', It's 'spring clean up' time in our fair city. It's where people clean out all the crap they've stored for a year and THROW IT TO THE CURB.

This, in turn, brings out the Junkers.

They drive up and down the streets....picking through the trash people have left at the curb. They man-handle it, feel it, and take what they want.

Why does this horrify and anger me? It's MY STUFF. Yes, I may be throwing it away, but it's in MY yard and if I want the stuff back, I can go to the curb and retrieve it. And honestly, what do people do with used MATTRESSES and the like? I understand the used furniture....I do. But what if the former owner's cat peed all over it? Then you take it home and GUESS WHAT? Cat pee for you!! Someone took our old weber-esque (cheap) round charcoal grill. It had no legs, was rusted and the top handle was askew.

What?? What do people want with that kind of stuff?

I just came back from the grocery store (oh...where son #1 was FIRED from....), and came to a 4 way stop. There was a large truck with an old rusty cattle trailer hooked to it. I thought to myself "hmmm, I wonder what's up with that??", then I realized that they were JUNKIN'. They were a little scary looking. Sort of "Deliverance" like. Lots of long facial hair.....hats.....Then the passenger politely gave a nod as they drove by. Wasn't that sweet? He nearly tipped his hat!!

Anyway, the reason I'm facinated with this is what if these people are some of those people that only spend like $500 a year.......other than that they fend for themselves. They re face used stuff and use it or sell it or BUILD A HOUSE FROM IT?

My mom is a junker. She likes to find stuff---I'm not. I even saw a retro chair in front of a house, and didn't even check it out to see if it smelled of cat pee, or was in working order. I did think about that chair for a couple of days, but I was true to myself and didn't send my Husband out to look at it!!

Yes, son #1 got fired from his job. How mortifying. I'd practically begged them to hire him, and within 10 days, he was out. I have to hang my head in shame when I go over there.

Oh, and the spaghetti dinner was fine. The boys were cute serving the food. The food was actually quite gross----school cafeteria quality. Blech. Not that it wasn't for a good cause....I'm not judging....but I personally didn't care for the spaghetti (there, is that a little more politically correct??)

Well, I"m off to put groceries away.

happy Junkin to all of you who enjoy that.....I think....

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sweaty Boys, Swine Flu, and Menstruation

Yes—you read correctly. Have any of you out there ever heard of people not wanting to eat others’ chili, spaghetti or other tomato based dishes because folklore has it that women used to put their….well….um…..period blood in their food to try to lure a man?

I hadn’t ever heard of that until the last few years. I try to share my cooking and my awesome food with my friends, and ONE IN PARTICULAR (ahem….Jakki) won’t eat my tomato based stuff---AS IF I’m going to wipe up a loogy-like ball of YUK and put it into my FOOD!!! No way!!

Which brings me to my whole host of issues I have with sharing the space with THE PUBLIC.

Tonight we have the annual Spaghetti dinner to raise money for the Jays Football Booster club. Volunteers cook it, and the football boys serve it up. All for $8.00.

There’s salad, bread and Spaghetti……and, I’m quite fearful, swine flu, period blood and sweat from the boy’s. They are coming over from weightlifting to serve (that’s what I’ve been told). Even if they shower in the public shower…..still…..EWWWWWW.

Oh, and let’s not forget MRSA…..the flesh eating bacteria.

So, does anyone out there want to join us? The booster club will REALLY appreciate your donation!

Seriously, though….has anyone ever heard of that ‘old wives’ tale?? I apparently need to brush up on my folklore so this sort of thing doesn’t publicly take me aback.

I plan on stopping by the store to pick up a few medical masks and some double thickness disposable gloves. If they won’t wear them, I will!!


Friday, April 24, 2009

Whew!! Tracey is alive and well.

Okay, I got all shaky and goofy this afternoon, and picked up the phone and DIALED Tracey’s sister. She, of course, was clueless as to who I was, but she was happy to give me Tracey’s cell number. I told her I remembered their dog (a great dane) and that Tracey’s room had horses all over it.

The sister told me that anyone who remembered they had a great dane from back then surely was being truthful.

I turned right around and left Tracey a voice mail---we’ll see if she remembers me and calls back.

I get all gushy and mushy when I think of old friends. I feel a special connection to those people I want to school with. Even if we weren’t friends---I feel a comradery with people. Like you guys. I’d rush to meet people I’ve become friendly with online…..because I feel that ‘connection’.

My BFF PhD doesn’t feel that way. People don’t make her all mushy feeling. If she wasn’t friends with them back then, she’s not going to strike up a friendship now. And I respect that….I’m just the opposite, though

But then my CRAZY sets in….what if people are SHOCKED at how fat I am. I know I go ON AND ON AND ON about this topic, but I really, REALLY used to be itty bitty skinny----and now, I’m legitimately obese---it’s not a matter of a few pounds a year.

And, like the Tracey thing….what if she thinks I’m some weirdo for calling her after 25 or 30 years. SURELY she’ll remember me. I’d go visit her in the summers after we moved. She visited us once….and I think commented on how boring it was in MY town compared to St. Louis. Ph.D. even went with me one summer visit. WHOOEEEE, that was a fun trip.

Tracey liked me even though I was geeky and bespeckled---even though I was a crybaby (she did try to toughen me up, though). She stood up for me when Paul Bowkowski kicked me in the back, and made me fall and skin my arms and knees up. She didn’t even laugh when I was being a crybaby. Tracey introduced me to a HOT, HOT, HOT dude one summer. She lent me her roach clip-esque feather earrings for the occasion of the 3 of us going to Six Flags!! His name was Kevin!!

Ah…good times.

So, I guess the ball is in her court. If she wants to visit or remembers me, she has my number. And her sister probably thinks I’m nutty.

Anyway, I’m glad I did it. Even if I get pegged as a creepy stalker type.

Have an awesome Friday!!!!!

Oh, and p.s.

The person in Buffalo that found my blog by looking for 'leif garreet nudies' (their spelling, not mine)......um, you won't find them OR him here.

Thursday, April 23, 2009


So, Peeps (I’m down wit da urban lingo, folks), what is worse as a parent?

KNOWING what your child is doing wrong by snooping, listening to conversations, monitoring Facebook, etc.
OOOOORRRR, knowing your kid is up to no good, but not attempting to catch them at anything, hence giving yourself a pass to bury your head in the sand? To know things aren’t right, but to ease your own worries, sort of letting the knowledge go?

See? See what my BRAIN does to me all the time? I question myself….the things I do…..I cringe over missteps in conversation. I know I will worry for days that I’ve offended someone by saying ‘peeps’ and referring to that as urban lingo……..and the spelling of with as ‘wit’ and the as ‘da’. Yes…..I might offend……..and it FREAKS ME OUT.


On another crazy note, I’m about ready to call a stranger. This person was found via GOOGLE. I think she may be the sister of my childhood best friend (before Ph.D). We were friends in the 4th grade, and when we moved here from St. Louis, we kept in touch for several years.

During High School, we lost touch……I’ve tried looking on Facebook, Google and My Space for her, with no luck, but I googled her sister, and found her. She works for a St. Louis corporation (clue #1) and the company website had her photo…..and it looks JUST LIKE I remember their mom looking……only with long hair (big clue #2).

I don’t know if my friend Tracey is even alive anymore. How traumatic would it be if I just show up on this sister’s phone and Tracey is dead….or a drug addict, or something equally saddening to her? What if they HATE each other?

See? I’m doing it again….I’m questioning myself…….I decided I was going to just DO IT, and she was out of her office. Now this gives me time to ponder all the terrifying things of the unknown.

This is how I make myself crazy. I think of all the things that MIGHT be happening, or COULD happen. My brain spins round and round right ROUND!!

Speaking of Right Round, has anyone heard the Flo Rida version of the catchy 80's pop tune? Wow....has he ever changed the lyrics. My 15 year old son came into our living room singing this:

****You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down

You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down*****

Um....YEA. I hollered at him to STOP SINGING THAT, and he laughed at me. He laughed because he thinks it's funny A) To freak me out and B) that I like the song "I love college"........

Yes, the song is cute and catchy, but it's also very VERY scary seeing as I have a child heading into the college world.

SEEEEEE??? It's happening again.....I like the song, but it scares me. How in the hell can any of you expect me to function??

It's like I'm a complete contradiction.

Help me out here!!!!!

Toodles for now.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I’ve always known that I am not ‘up’ on formal etiquette. I know what a salad fork is, and although I slump over my food like I’m guarding it, I do know some basic table manners.

However, things like party protocol, and invitations, and RSVP-ing are all foreign to me. As a matter of fact, despite my Grandma Winnie's HUGE lectures and objections, I didn’t even send thank-you notes for my wedding gifts. Yes, today I cringe at that, but as a 21 year old girl with wedding loot, it didn’t seem so important. I MEANT to get it done, but time just slipped by.

So, this graduation gig is purposefully informal. A barbecue with burgers, weenies and probably some smoked chicken for sandwiches. I’ll put out a few condiments, some chips and call it good.

I got Son #1’s announcements and pre-stuffed what I could so when his pictures were done and my barbecue invite stuffers were cut and ready to go, I could just slip them in and seal those babies up.

Today, I hand delivered the first two announcements. My niece, Heather, opened hers and proceeded to immediately take the son’s name card and….get this…..STICK IT IN THE PRE CUT CORNER HOLES specifically for the name cards.

Well, hit me upside the head, people!! I had no idea!! I just shoved the name cards down into the announcement like the pictures, and invitation stuffer. I didn’t even KNOW that there was a PLACE for each name card.

I am so embarrassed. What if the rich aunt or friend is so OFFENDED that I missed a crucial step to the Graduation Announcement process that they don’t send MONEY??

My kid could be missing on fives or even TENS of dollars over my faux pas!! I suppose now I’m going to have to make baked beans from SCRATCH instead of opening a few cans and slapping some bacon on top, huh?


So, for all you high falutin’ folks in big cities and who are all important and uppity, maybe you don’t want to be my friend. I slug down wine, I hunch over the table, I laugh out loud and sometimes my silverware even clatters to the table. I don’t slip the name cards into the pre-cut slots designed for them……


Auntie, or distant family friend……please don’t take it personally that I neglected such an integral step of the announcement process. SEND MONEY ANYWAY. Tuition will be due soon, and well…..you know.

And don’t be alarmed. Son #1 WILL send thank you notes, even if I have to forge his signature. I promise.

Happy Tuesday!!

Friday, April 17, 2009

A swift kick in the behind

So—the last two weeks have been difficult in the Perfectly household. This week, for whatever reason, I have felt like I’m easily headed over the edge of normal into the depths of CRAZY!!

I woke up today feeling more relaxed and less pessimistic (thank goodness). I got to work to hear the agonized sobbing of a co-worker. My supervisor rushed to her side, I dropped my belongings at my desk and rushed to her……only to find that one of her grandchildren had died in a fire early that morning. A 7 year old boy.

My heart breaks for this woman. The overwhelming grief she was feeling was raw and unmistakable.

So, now I’m here with my hat in my hands, feeling like a shmuck for letting my problems get me so worked up. My problems are NOTHING compared to this. Or many others.

It’s funny how Karma slaps you on the ass once and a while to get your attention, huh?

So, for those of you who pray, say a prayer for my co-worker and her family. For those of you who don’t, give a positive thought this direction.

Happy Friday!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

It's official

My baby is enrolled in college.


We spent from about 10 am to 3:30 pm sitting in the hallway of a community/technical college to get him enrolled. It was 'open' enrollment, and the campus in Columbia, Mo was overflowing with over 100 kids waiting to register. The Moberly campus (he's attending Moberly Area Community Collee) which is 30 miles north of Columbia was guessing a 3-4 hour wait, and the Mexico, Mo campus estimated a 2 hour wait. We high tailed it to Mexico. It ended up being more than a 2 hr wait.

I feel bad for those waiting at other campuses that may not have gotten in.......because it's a bitch sitting there all day. I'm glad it's done, but there are changes coming.......Son #1 and his buddy will be attending together. They have grand plans of what college life will be like. They'd already planned on a 3 bedroom apartment (because they'd need a guest room, of course) in a trendy community near all of their University bound buddies. Several other boys from his circle of friends are going to the SAME college....same campus location. So, they figured it would all work out well......

I've been pushing for one of the smaller city campuses......cheaper, safer, etc......and one of the campuses has a small amount of actual DORM space. The boys wouldn't even ENTERTAIN the thought of living anywhere else but their desired location.

Until they decided that the satellite campus doesn't have advanced enough courses for one of the boys. So, after all the arguing and attempt at reason, they collectively decided that the OTHER small town campus is the way to go, since that location offers advanced math courses. **PULLING MY HAIR OUT BY THE ROOTS**

So, now we are in the process of getting them on a waiting list for a dorm.......since it's only got 12 rooms (hardly a dorm), space is in demand. AND if they dont' get the dorm, they now want an apartment in the small town, near campus.

And now, after waiting forEVER to register them, we will now have to switch their registration locations. Which isn't a huge deal, but will require another trip or at the minimum, several calls.

I am actually quite glad that they made the decision that they did. They will be in a small town (12,000), and if they can actually get a space in their little dorm, then they will have the full college experience. Walking all over campus, cramped quarters and regular dorm living. It will be a good thing, I think. Despite the fact I had the idea first and it was R.E.J.E.C.T.E.D., they've made their 'own'
decision, and it is the RIGHT one.

So, it was a long day of waiting, waiting, waiting.

45 minutes of registration and a Q and A session with an advisor, who was most helpful and patient with us.

I can't imagine the workload of the parents registering their kids in a full University setting. Man........if community college was like it was, then whoo doggies......University registration must be a week long process!!

I'm off to see my Brandon. Actually, it's for Son #2---the moptop---he needs a haircut like you wouldn't believe....and since Brandon's specialty is curly hair and mens cuts, it's a WIN WIN situation!! Who knows, maybe I'll take pics.

Toodles for now!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I can’t make you love me

But I can sure as hell BEG YOU TO ANYWAY!!

I love comments—GOOD COMMENTS…funny ones……ones from people that LIKE ME, so pass my blog on to EVERYONE YOU KNOW so they can, too, love me.

I love Bonnie Raitt’s “I can’t make you love me”. It’s one of my favorite songs of all time. I get all goose bumpy, and weird when I hear it. So, when the little 16 yr old on American Idol sang it the other night, I waited with excitement. After all, that song has been done on nearly every season of Idol from SOMEONE, and they usually do a passable job----but whoa doggies. This little 16 yr old girl sang it in the arrangement of Bonnie Raitt, and sang it SOOOOOO well. The song has been on my mind since Tuesday, and I just HAD to incorporate it here somewhere………..I’ve been singing it over and over.

On a different note, Son #1’s graduation stuff came. His cap and gown, his announcements, his name cards, his ‘thank you’ cards and the envelope labels to seal it.

I’ll post an announcement if you want, but you know what that means, don’t you? You’d be obligated to send a gift-----and I’d hate for that obligation to weigh on our friendship, you know?

Unless you want to send gifts…..and in that case, he’ll take them. Especially cash since he’s going to college and wants an apartment and all that stuff. Cash is good. Laptops are good, too!

Our State is proposing that the A+ program we have here be expanded. Currently, a student can get tuition to a community or technical college PAID FOR for 2 years by the State if a student meets certain criteria: 2.5 gpa (which he doesn’t quite have yet….aaarrrggghhhh), and 50 hours of mentoring in our school system (which he is currently doing). If he gets all a’s this go around, he should be able to get into the A+ program, and get his tuition paid for at his community college of choice.

NOW they are proposing that the 50 hours of mentoring be taken away as a requirement, and allowing all schools in Missouri participate (currently, only schools that have the A+ school rating can participate---I don’t know what getting that designation entails). But, here is the WONDERFUL, LOVELY kicker!!! They are proposing to pay for an additional 2 years at a traditional University AFTER the student completes their 2 years of community college (and gets the basics out of the way) with a B average. OMG….this is HUGE. HUGE……since we live within driving distance of a MAJOR University in our state, we could potentially get 2 kids through college with NO DEBT. NO COLLEGE DEBT. Now, a lot of it hinges on the kid. Meeting the high school requirements and then the b average in comm.. college………but holy CRAPOLA, Batman…….to continue to pay for their university 2 years is such an awesome thought…..I certainly hope it passes, and my kids can benefit from it.

Well, enough random thoughts for today. Happy Thursday, everyone!!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Senior Moments

Well, Son #1 will graduate this May. It is really much harder than I expected to think of turning him loose into the world. I don’t know how my parents did it. I had no ability to make decisions (except possibly the WRONG ones). I had no ability to see into the future and around corners to know how my current actions my impact my future. I’m now looking at my own kid and realizing with CLARITY that he doesn’t possess many of these skills either.

I want him to enjoy his youth….I want him to be carefree and fun….but I also want him to have some ADULT sensibilities, which right now…well….not so much. I want him to be able to make solid, mature decisions, yet have the fun a college youth SHOULD have. I want him to break away, yet still need me sometimes.

How do college kids manage? How do they wrap their minds around their studies? What makes some kids studious and industrious and others nothing but party animals? What keeps the party animals ALIVE and making it through school? HOW DID I DO IT? I didn’t. I screwed around, partied a lot, and was UN-invited to return after my first semester. With my 1.5 gpa or whatever.

Luckily, the University must have been USED to this sort of behavior….because when I appealed, I got re-admitted under academic probation, and although I squeaked by---I still had no motivation to succeed in school. I just cared enough to get by. I met my husband in college and he was much more motivated than I was, but he was dragged down by my party girl attitude.

Anyway, now my own son looks at me like I am a clueless alien. One that could NEVER imagine all the fun stuff the world holds…….and that he wants to try it all at least once and the REALLY fun stuff multiple times.

I think, how will he learn to feed himself? Work? Mange to keep his grades up while experiencing the fun part of early college? HELP ME INTERNET…..HELP ME WRAP MY BRAIN AROUND THIS……Tell me that we all did it. That we all turned into decent people. That he won’t DIE OR BECOME HOMELESS.

Anyway, here are some ‘senior’ photos of my baby. Mr. Perfectly is the photographer.

Look at ALL of them……and LOVE IT!!

Isn't he awesome? I KNOW!!!!!

Also, I need graduation party ideas. Low key and simple. He's not into over the top.

Toodles for now. Happy Tuesday.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Long Time No See!!

So, what’cha been doin’?

Oh, you know, the same ole’, same ole’ here. Our internet connection is on the fritz, so the cable guy is supposed to come today to try to fix the problem. Historically speaking anytime the cable people ‘fix’ something, it comes with HUGE repercussions. Something else breaks, or doesn’t work right, or whatever. We’ve had the same thingy-majig (whatever we get our high speed signal from….some little box with blinkey lights on it) for YEARS……Mr. Perfectly hasn’t wanted them to change it because knowing Mediacom, they will break something else.

Hey, I just was browsing some blogs that I’ve been neglectful in keeping up with (Ms. Darkstar---Ben……I am so sorry……being without internet access at home sucks). Anyway…..LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!! JUST LOOK!!!!

(never mind...I can't figure out how to get Ben's logo onto my blog...but suffice it to say IT IS CUTE....go to his blog to see what I can't seem to copy here!!!)

Ben is raising money for ten animal shelters throughout Canada, the US and South Africa.

So, if you are able, give. Pets are people, too!

If y’all remember, we got Dex from a CRAZY LADY. At a weird animal ‘swap meet’. It was the last day of the meet, and he was ‘on sale’. Discounted from $50 to $30 (or best offer). He’s got a brown nose and golden green eyes. He was sick with worms and parasites. Although I firmly and STRONGLY believe in adopting from a shelter, I feel quite confident that we gave this pup a great home that he otherwise wouldn’t have had. The owner’s son ‘docked’ his tail. For no other reason than Dex’s baby daddy would beat his tail on the wires/bars of his cage and his tail would bleed and be infected all the time. So, they thought (instead of NOT keeping them in kennels, and letting them be housepets) that they’d dock the tails of the babies to keep them from having yukky tails too. IS THAT NOT STUPID? So, I have a miniature doxie pup with a nub of a tail.

This little dachshund is the SWEETEST BABY ever. He has some separation anxiety issues, but aside from that, he is absolutely the sweetest dog. He doesn’t bite, snap or growl (which may sound ‘normal’ to many of you, but you haven’t met my grouchy dog Buster, who snaps, growls and bites all the time…..). His BFF in the house is our cat, Joe, and he’s so loving it’s unreal.


Happy Wednesday!!