Saturday, August 30, 2008

Mexican Hat Dance

Monday was Maddi's birthday (the Rock Star Princess). We went to the Mexican restaurant (the one w/ $1.50 Margarita's on Monday and Thursday)last night to celebrate her 5 years in this world.

This place is pretty good. It's got pretty decent food, and great Margaritas. It's a comfortable, yet very busy atmosphere, and the food is CHEAP. 11 of us ate for $93.00 Now, granted there were 2 kid plates and I only ordered one taco...for a whopping $1.35. I ate Ice cream around 3 pm and wasn't very hungry....but even so.....10 full size meals and the kids meals and my taco....not bad.
The entire restaurant is employed with individuals of Latin heritage (sorry, I do not know the politically correct way to say that---no disrespect is meant). They are happy, and generally attentive, and they SING for birthdays! Sombrero provided!!

That's Heather, Maddi's mama............

They smeared chocolate, and whipped cream from the Sopapilla all over her face:

Then for some unknown reason they popped the sombrero on ME.....maybe they thought I was mama or something.......

Here is Brandon, my nephew, and Heather's brother....

And Heather's sister, Shelby, then her brother Nico.....

And finally,here's Maddi and Mia with the bill......Mia is Heather's youngest sister, and she's just a few months older than Maddison.......they are aunt and niece, and best friends....they are too cute.

All in all it was a fun birthday celebration for the Rock Star Princess.......

Happy Weekend!!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Woot! Woot!

Look at the loot!

Ahhhhh, the charitable campaign was mildly disappointing, but then, when I got home, and LOOKED at the free crap I gathered, I realized, I didn’t do too badly!! I only got about half the pens I normally get. I guess charities are cutting back too, and only print pamphlets, instead of giving away goodies.

The best pen came from the Disabled Veterans. It’s heavy, and gold plated……It came in it’s own plastic wrapper. I’ll have to save that pen for special uses. Like, writing checks with no money, or scathing notes to the cell phone and cable companies.

Check out the CUTTING BOARDS that some place gave out…..Jakki gave me hers….because she didn’t WANT IT…now who wouldn’t want a flexible cutting board? Apparently Jakki, so now I have TWO!

I got a cup, a calculator, some Avon, 2 keychains, a rubber bracelet, a United Way pin…a breast cancer loop…….and OODLES of pamphlets.

Some of the pamphlets, I do want….like the 10 signs of Alzheimer's. I may need that for reference. The Humane Society—their wish list, and all the good things they do for lost, stray and abandoned animals. Literature about Missouri state parks….in case I ever decide to take up hiking. How to do breast self exams and the size of typically found tumors……..(scary)……um, let’s see……..I can’t remember all of them…I have a variety of interests, and some of these pamphlets may come in handy!! The next time YOU want to know the 10 signs of Alzheimer's….you can drop me an e-mail…..thinking “Hey, that Perfectly is a WEALTH of knowledge….let’s ask HER!!”.

There were several pamphlets that didn’t make the cut. Sorry Disabled Veterans, I love ya, and your pen is awesome, but your pamphlet didn’t stay in the keep pile. Oh…..the One Pamphlet that I’m not keeping….because I’m sort of confused as to what it is….is HEIFER INTERNATIONAL. Jakki thought maybe they were calling US heifers, but it has something to do with world hunger……. But I don’t like the name, so, I am not keeping the pamphlet.

There are some agencies that I don’t even take their freebies. I don’t agree with the propaganda they spew, so I don’t take their junk. That is how I am politically active. Refuse their cheap pens and candy. I even walked right by a lady hawking pink pamphlets……I didn’t want one, so I passed her by. I bet she TOTALLY understood that I wasn’t being rude, I WAS MAKING A POLITICAL STATEMENT.

The people from the Senior Centers from around Mid-Missouri are always Cute. I do stop and quickly smile at them….because they are fun and sweet and remind me of my Grandma. Look at the joke that the Senior Center folks put on the front of their folders they were giving out! They also taped CANDY to it:

I have one living grandma and one that passed in January of 2007. I really miss her. I wear her jewelry sometimes, and talk to her on my way to work. What? I’m not crazy!! I just miss my Grandma Winnie. My living Grandmother is a hoot too. I put the Avon Cream that I got for FREE last night and it SO reminded me of Grandma White. She used to ALWAYS buy Avon products. And nothing against Avon, but you know all their creams sort of smell like old ladies anyway….but it brought back such STRONG memories of her…….I mean she’s still alive, but childhood memories. She’s a jewelry and makeup fiend….I get that from her, apparently. She lets me go through her earrings and take some when I visit her. Yes, I am 7 years old!!

I hope you all enjoy my loot. I will. This mess is the sort of thing that makes Mr. Perfectly nutty……because realistically? Other than the pens? What am I going to DO with all that junk? It ends up getting strung around and thrown in places it shouldn’t be.
He tolerates it because it is SO FREAKING FUN to grab the loot!! He’s good to me like that.

Have a great Thursday!!

p.s. I try not to politicize, but c’mon…….GO OBAMA….Clinton did a good job in his speech last night. I’m just sayin!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Charitable Campaign

Today is a good day. Today is the State of Missouri Charitable Campaign kickoff. The kickoff to try to get the State Employees of Missouri to donate to a cause. Or multiple causes.

Nah, I’m not much of a giver. I mean, I give a few dollars a month, but do you KNOW why I love the Charitable Campaign (CC) kickoff? Free Stuff. You’ve got it! Key chains, cups, and the best thing EVER? Pens. And Notepads. Haven’t I ever mentioned that I LOVE pens and paper? Oh, you have NO IDEA of the bounds of my love for free pens and notepads. And not the cheapie stick pens, either. Some of these organizations give away really big, fat, juicy pens……ones that write smoothly and are HEAVY and fit well into my hands (and purse). Pretty pens, shiny pens…….STICKY NOTES!! Now, the downside is that we must endure the shtick of the committee members trying to hawk their particular charity. Sometimes Jakki just can’t pull her self away. She stands there politely; listening to the spiel……I’ve been trying to coach her for YEARS to NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. Go to the table, smile, nod, and GRAB THE LOOT and GO. Don’t’ hang around chatting with the Habitat for Humanity folks or the bazillion children’s organizations. JUST GET THE STUFF. Oh, the one booth I do stop and talk at is the Humane Society booth. They usually have such cute doggies there….oh and the assistance dog booth….same thing……these cute pooches just WAITING for Perfectly kisses.

There’s free popcorn, and soda……and lots of the booths give away candy. Candy is for wussies. Give me a shiny pen AND a pad of paper, and I’m happy. A cup here and there for pen storage is nice, but not necessary.

Speaking of Charitable Campaigns, do y’all think that it really works to appeal to the internet for cash donations? You hear of people building houses and going on vacations by setting up some internet site and asking for donations. Here are the things I want donations for:

Fixing our deathly porch. We look like the trashy neighbors----and also painting and/or siding. So, several thousand dollars would be necessary. If that is too greedy, I’ll settle for a couple of thousand to get the porch fixed so we stop looking like low-lifes.

A lot of Amazing Grace stuff from Philosophy. It’s my new favorite scent, and I want everything….the shampoo and conditioner, the body wash, the lotion, the “parfum”….the purse sized solid perfume for touch ups……I’ll only need a couple hundred for all of that.

A night or two at the Ritz Carlton in St. Louis for our 21st Anniversary. With club room privileges. Perfectly’s Dad gave us a one night stay there for our 10th anniversary, and we went out to dinner and stuff, but really? All one needs is the club room….all the alcohol and food you want……..why go out? Just hang out in the hotel room and eat, drink and ‘be merry’. I’d think $500 would cover that. I don’t even want a suite….just a room will be fine.

That’s the end of the internet campaign for Perfectly. Do you think it’ll work? If I plea to the almighty internet, will I get what I want? If an internet campaign won’t work, then what will work? I need tried and true methods, folks.

Ok, I’m off to snoop around the building to see where the best loot is going to be.


Saturday, August 23, 2008

What a difference 45 minutes makes

It had been way too long between eyebrow waxes and lash tints.

I went to the beauty school this morning and took care of business:

All the extra hair that grows ape-like under my brows is GONE, and the eyelashes are once again, tinted. Sorry for the greasy look, but they load up my eyelids with Vaseline so the black tint doesn't tint my skin as well........Vaseline doesn't come off easily with wiping......I don't want to WASH it so the tint greasy eyes for now.

Buster, my puppy (the older, grouchy one)tore his dew claw AGAIN

So, we took him to the vet to have him sedated (because he bites when he's mad) and have the dew claw clipped close and cauterized.....

We are seriously thinking that we need to have them removed permanently......he's torn them 4x (maybe 5) in the last couple of years. We can't cut the damaged nail because he'll bite, and to sedate him each time he tears it, can't be healthy, so even though he's probably 6 years old now, we may need to just take them out. Poor hurts him so much when that happens. Think of YOUR fingernail being ripped out and hanging there...let someone CLIP it for you without BITING them.......

I had a date with Kandi last was alot of fun. We went to Ruby Tuesdays and ate dinner...I tried their jumbo lump crab burger......meh...not what I hoped for....It was OKAY, but not fabulous. But the company was good. I worked with Kandi for years before I moved to my current job. She's a great person and we don't keep in touch as we should, so my goal is to hang out with her more often.

I'm impatiently and stalker-ishly waiting for Teenie to call me....I know it's selfish, but I have the best fun with her......and she said she'd call......but maybe she's busy.......I've left her one message, and in the hopes of not being too annoying and needy, I'll leave it at that........the one message may have been over the top, though, since she said she'd call me.........oh well...I hope she understands...I think she does.

Oh.....I have a school photo of son #2. He actually didn't SHAVE for the picture, but I still think it turned out nice........despite the 15 yr old facial hair.......
Here it is. Isn't he CUTE?

Well, that's all I've got for now.......

Friday, August 22, 2008

I thought of a fabulous title to this post....then I forgot it.

It is Friday----and y’all know, Friday is my FAVORITE day. It’s not 3:30 on Friday, which is nearly the PERFECT time of the week, but it’s still Friday, which makes me HAPPY.

I do have some concerns I will address:

Coffee: Apparently, Jamaica Me Crazy coffee is not meant for me this week. I like flavored coffees and lattes and all the fattening junk they put in coffees…..but a nearly $5 a pop for a large coffee at Dunn Brothers, I try not to indulge TOO often……so I have found 2 regular coffee flavors that I adore (that can be made at home)…..Jamaica me Crazy and some sort of Chocolate Mint………Mint is tough in coffee…….and one brand just ‘does it’ for me……so I bought the JMC this week because it’s been some time since I had it. Tuesday, I got to work, and spilled it……TWICE…….all over my papers and my keyboard. Great. I’m the office messy desk girl. Really. It’s bad…and I got coffee all over the paperwork, and had to confess that I spilled it on my keyboard too, in case it got all stuck and stuff, since I doctor my coffee with sugar and creamer.

Anyway, then this MORNING, I left my JMC coffee IN THE CAR, and had to walk all the way back out to get it….so I could dunk my HIT biscuits in them.

Stoogie: Where are you? I’m fretting that you are somehow cyber-mad at me for something that I don’t even know I did.

Really annoying people: I’ve decided to play the blame game. There’s a person in my life that makes me INSANE. Literally insane. I hear the voice and I CRINGE. What does one do to relax about this situation. The stress is my own, and I allow it to CONTROL ME….so what can I do to get this hag out of my BRAIN. I can’t eliminate this person from my life, so how can I eliminate this person from ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF ME? That’s a serious question, not a rhetorical one. I need tips, people….and of course, for reasons unknown to you, but vital to my living and breathing, I can’t give details.

Ok, that’s the complaint section for the day: Let’s move on to FUN STUFF.

What to do this weekend? Mr. Perfectly is going to the High School Football Jamboree, and I think I’ll stay home. Since Son #1 isn’t playing, and son #2 isn’t included as a Freshman, it will be boring watching other kids play ball. Teenie is out of town and Jakki is dumping me for her couch and dog, so what can I do? I may call my other friend, Kandi, that I saw in the cafeteria the other day……maybe she’ll want to go out and play.

I’m having a Fabulous blog day……Crissy is a HOOT. Read her.

Well, I’m all out of blog ideas. I’m sure more will crop up shortly---like right when I hit ‘publish’….then I’ll remember all the cute and funny stuff I wanted to say originally….before I came off sounding like a shrew…..

I'm off to intermeet Ben......I love making friends.......!!!!! Crissy, you get me stuck on MORE BLOGS......blogging and reading blogs needs to be my JOB.........

Watch for more posts, because if something cute comes up, I’ll be sure to blog it!

Bye!! (for now)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Howling at the moon

It’s crazy time in my world. Really what is WRONG this morning?

I opened my e-mail this morning to find that me….a State Employee…had sent a message about where to ORDER LUNCH to someone out in the land of the internet instead of to my section at work. Yep……someone in Wisconsin got the email asking which restaurant sounded better. He requested a Hot Dog with no Mustard. Thank GOD Bob had a sense of humor. At least I hope he has one and isn’t writing our Governor as we speak.

Then some guy that works in our Department came and asked Jakki where her ‘people’ were. HER ‘PEOPLE’ What person asks another person that……….I mean c’mon!! She wanted to raise her fist high, but refrained……..he actually was asking about our co-workers, but still. People are so stupid. (like me sending out a order out request to some guy in Wisconsin instead of my own group). Like the time a highly intelligent, yet socially backwards woman asked Jakki if both of her kids were from the same Dad. Now how rude is that?

Then, my niece, Heather (the Rock Star Princess’s mom) got a random letter last night from an inmate. AN INMATE. Locked up in our correctional system. He included a picture that he inscribed: To: Heather From: Billy……….a 29 yr old INMATE sending a little pal sized picture of himself to a stranger. Billy is in prison for assaulting a police officer, and armed criminal action. But he’s getting his stuff together and hopefully his attorney will have him ‘OUT’ by next summer. And he wants Heather’s zodiac sign. And wanted to know if she was a party girl or not. He wanted to be sure Heather knew that he listened not only with his EARS, but his HEART AND SOUL as well. Everything is so automated and personal information is available to EVERYONE, but the poor girl is worried sick that somehow he’ll actually get out and seek HER out…….I don’t think he will….it’s a con…these inmates send letters hoping for a ‘connection’ and CASH. But I can TOTALLY see how it’s creepy and unsettling to have Billy from the prison writing you…….

My Crabby hasn’t abated, either. I thought I was fine when I woke up, but I guess I’m not. People have irritated me from the moment I walked into work. That and realizing that I sent Bob our restaurant list---talk about being MORTIFIED. Um…sorry Bob that you aren’t gonna get that hot dog………lunch from yesterday is OVER.

I hope Teenie gets my call of woe and goes for Margaritas with me tonight…….if not, will any of YOU go with me? I’m lots of fun, and I promise to try not to be a negative Nelly!! $1.50 Margaritas til 8pm!! Pretty cheap!!

Let’s hope I get this posted correctly and don’t send it to Bob.

Toodles for now.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A tub and rub will change your day.

That was the fortune I opened today at lunch. A FORTUNE....FROM A COOKIE. AT WORK. So, what did I do? I showed it to everyone!! The consensus is that it appears that the sex shop fortunes and the Chinese restaurant fortunes must have been sent to the wrong places.......the sex shop people are certainly going to be disappointed.

Today is one of those kind of blue, down and out days. I'm annoyed by most everything. I keep thinking my "just think how lucky you are" speech, and, folks, it's NOT WORKING. And nobody is READING me today and for sure nobody is COMMENTING today....and I feel sad and NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE.

On a much cuter note, here are Lester's ears. Well, Lester too, but JUST LOOK AT THE EARS:

And here is Maddi, my rock star princess (and great niece) She'll be 5 next week:

I am trying not to google 'shoulder injury'. Son #2 got a stinger during football. Yeah, just read that definition.........NEUROLOGICAL STUFF. Now he's in major pain, and has to see the football sports trainer today. NOT THE DOCTOR mind you.......the TRAINER. The football people don't LIKE doctors because doctors are shockingly cautious, and make football boys NOT PLAY BALL when injured....trainers just tell them to bite the bullet like a MAN and get OUT THERE AND PLAY, SON!!!! Mr. Perfectly is taking him (thankfully) so I don't have to get rude with the trainer when he tells my baby to take this injury LIKE A MAN. I may have to show that TRAINER how to take it in the MAN PARTS.......

Our work staff is shorthanded today, and since I was sick (cough) on Monday, I can use the time as make up time.......which is always nice. And it keeps me from becoming violent in trying to protect my young cub. But it also means I'm at work til 5 pm instead of the usual 3:30 pm. That ISN'T fun.

We ordered Chinese food at lunch today. It wasn't very good. At least mine wasn't. The dumplings were smooshy, and the noodles not flavorful---and what flavor it DID have wasn't appetizing.

I did get that naughty fortune, though. I know Mr. Perfectly will take that as a SIGN............

I sure wish I knew why I was so cranky's not my 'cranky time' if you get my drift.....nothing major is happening in my life.......

Oh, I's because I wore ugly clothes today. I didn't shave my legs, so I couldn't wear capri I wore navy blue pants and this hideous blue top I got at Wal-Mart. It looked CUTE on the hanger...Mr. Perfectly warned me that he didn't think it would be cute, and I pooh poohed him away and bought it anyway. Now I've GOT to wear it, because nothing else really goes with the navy blue pants. it is! It really looked cute, and it really isn't.

Oh well, I've groused enough for the day. Enjoy the rest of the afternoon while I worry about shoulder injuries and war with Russia (and having a nearly 18 yr old son).

Toodles for now.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I love the 80's!

Seriously, I am such an 80's girl. No wonder my kids think I'm lame. I promised you PICTURES, and pictures I have.

Here I am before 'Capitol Caroling' where the high school choir sings in the rotunda of the Missouri State Capital building (I never can remember if it's "ol" or "al"....) This would be 1983 or 1984--I think '84.

Here are the infamous Senior Prom Pictures. These were taken at my mom's house before we (Nick and I) went out to dinner. I'm sure he'd be none too pleased to know his photo was on the internet for all to see:

God, I look like SUCH A DORK......really......DORK CITY. I bought that dress for $99 with my own money, because my dad wanted me to buy a USED dress.....for my Senior Prom...(this WAS 1984, for the record). I wanted a HOOP skirt and I wanted it NEW. I also don't wear much blue, so I guess this was about all I had to choose from or something. I had to have it altered......I was smaller in the waist than in the bust, and had to have it taken in....I rented the hoop to wear under it.........Hoop skirts were TOTALLY in.....weren't they Ph.D? You KNOW you want to comment....YOU KNOW IT. Gloves and barfy dresses were in too, weren't they?

Ah, now we move Mr. Perfectly. This was a free Olin Mills photo, I believe. We were too poor in college to buy the package, but we certainly didn't have any shame in taking the free 5x7 we got......

Don't we look about 12? I'd guess we were 19 and 20 here...which would make it 1985 or 1986.....we look like makes me happy and want to SCREAM at the same time, because SO HELP ME, if my kids come to me in 18 months and want to get MARRIED....I'll die.......or something.

Ok, here's one of me and Ph.D at my rehersal dinner--before the wedding. There's no real purpose in posting it other than she'll hate it.....HAHAHAHA are famous.......You don't EVEN need to worry about being published......just send your peers HERE to look........I was going to post the one of you on the pot at the Carousel house, but you don't believe that it's you hidden under that one of a kind overall/smock-ish get up you had was purple striped or something I here you go.......1987 for those of you who want to know........she was my Maid of Honor.

And no, we weren't stoned....we just played it on TV.......

Enjoy the blast from the past. I did......Ph.D....I have lots more where this one came from.........


Monday, August 18, 2008


Since I' such a good steward of all things food, and we have a plethora of peppers and tomatoes, I'm making fresh salsa.

Actually I'm lying-I'm NOT a good food steward. I waste alot--ALOT more than I should. We aren't very good about eating'd THINK with 2 teenage boys, I'd not have a bite of ANYTHING in this house....... but they are snack food junkies, and leave the good stuff alone. I just threw away half of an ice cream cake.......remember the one from last week that acutally has NO CAKE? YEAH, that one. Nobody has eaten any more of it and it was taking up precious freezer space. If I could ever AFFORD a refrigerator that wasn't 2nd hand (except, thanks dad.....the fridge is AWESOME), I will NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER buy a side by side fridge/freezer. I can't even fit a frozen PIZZA in really stinks......I'm happy we have a good fridge and all, but WTF? Who can't put frozen PIZZA in it? If I could, I'd buy one of those armoire ones....the ones that open on EACH SIDE on the top, and have the big cavernous freezer below? You know which ones I mean? Yeah....some people fantasize about sex...I fantasize about refrigerators and food.

Anyway, back to the salsa. Mr. Perfectly LLOOVVEESSS him some salsa. Especially lovingly, made from scratch salsa. Even MORE especially, ones with more habanero peppers in it than ANY human should be able to consume. I don't have a recipe....I usually don't...the ones I put out here for you guys are just hopeful guesses.....I'm a dumper....I dump until it tastes good. Except, I can't taste Mr. Perfectly's salsa since it has 2 HABENERO peppers in it.....SEEDS AND ALL......oh, and 2 tiny jalapeno peppers that came from our very own little plant. I bit a tiny piece of one to see how spicy it was to guage how much to put in to the wussy salsa I'm also making....and HOOOOEEEEEEEEE----EEEEEEE That little sucker was hot. I put 2 tiny peppers in the wussy salsa and 2 tiny peppers and 2 habenero's in the MANLY salsa. I'm not certain I'll be able to eat the wussy salsa either.......

But anyway, here is my version of salsa:

1 med onion diced
1 med/lg sweet bell pepper (we had yellow today)
tomatoes.....(this is the tricky part--I used a qt baggie of cherry ones and then probably 2-4 large fresh tomatoes in'll have to look and see how much salsa you are making)
1T kosher salt
fresh ground pepper (to taste)
2 jalapeno peppers (seeds out if you like it milder)
splash (and I mean scant splash) vinegar
1T sugar

Sweat the onions and peppers until soft....add all other ingredients and cook until the cherry tomatoes cook down and explode......(If you use them).......let cool and eat.

That's it folks......I don't use cilantro....blech (but YOU can)....and the fresh, sweet tomatoes with a little spice makes a PERFECT salsa--I use yellow and red tomatoes, so my salsa never looks gourmet or's usually some shade of orange due to the variety of tomatoes we get from Perfectly's dad. Due to the yellow peppers, todays may end up more golden.....DO NOT LET THIS THROW YOU OFF if it doesn't look like what comes from a JAR. It won't look like that...but it will taste better.....that is if you like the freshness of tomatoes, peppers and onions cooked together. Remember---if you want it saltier, use more salt...if you want it hotter, use more chilie peppers, or a variety of peppers, if you want it milder, then use LESS chilie peppers----my recipe is just a guess of how I throw stuff together.

The weekend was good. I took son #2 here at the Lake of the Ozarks for breakfast. I know alot of you live in New York City, and in other places where dining is superb, but I live in small city USA where Applebees is considered fine dining. We spent $36 (with tip) FOR BREAKFAST (Oh, Honey....see the salsa in the kitchen? Go look at the SALSA....REALLY, you don't have to keep reading......GO. TO. THE. SALSA). BREAKFAST. We think it's high roller day when we go to Mel's or Dudley's in town and have to spend $5.95 for the morning special. Anyway, son #2 and I sipped overly sweetened (at our hands) coconut creme coffee and he ate fancy schmancy 'banana's foster french toast' and I had some sort of flatbread thingy with eggs, sausage and parmasean cheese.......yes, it was WONDERFUL...I was going to bring the 1/2 I couldn't eat back home to Mr. Perfectly (hey,'s the SALSA?) and the waitress took it away as I was viewing the bill (slackjawed), and I forgot to ask for a BOX......and she didnt' OFFER....I suppose the mimosa "LAKE" set doesn't bother with taking leftovers of an $11 breakfast home. Son #2 ate every bite of his banana's foster french toast, and I ate a couple of bites, was it awesome.......WHISKEY, I may need some coaching on how to make the perfect brown sugar/caramel sauce that isn't too burned, or too thick...........I hope you read this, cause I could EASILY get the bananas and french toast, but that caramel sauce? I'm a rookie......

We went to the Osage Beach Outlet Mall and exchanged and bought some school things. Then he went to the farm to mow Perfectly's Dad's yard. I was going to go home and do chores or get school supply lists made (yes, I put it off til the DAY BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS---HUGE MISTAKE), but Perfectly's dad decided that I was going to help him. ME? HELP ON THE FARM? DOING STUFF THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE CUDDLING BABY KITTENS? So, I drove his truck backwards (not an easy task for me) towards a tractor that doesn't work. He hooked up a chain to the truck AND the tractor. I had to PULL HIM THROUGH THE YARD to get the tractor PRIMED to ROLL down a grade and eventually up onto a trailer. I drove the truck down through the field to the trailer, and he hooked it up. I drove the truck WITH THE TRAILER back up to the house......and with his instruction positioned the trailer lower on the driveway so the tractor could be rolled onto it. HEH, HEH....HERE'S THE KICKER, FOLKS. He expected ME to sit on the dead tractor and ride it, steer it, and BRAKE when it was rolled onto the trailer. Okay, now that you've cleaned up the coffee or liquor you've spewed through your nose, I'll continue.

He told me where the brake on this ancient tractor was, and proceeded to get my son and PUSH ME....IN NEUTRAL....ON THE TRACTOR towards the looming trailer........"FASTER....FASTER.....but not TOO FAST" (surreal coming from my Dad), and HEAVE--HO up the trailer.....then it stoppped. "BBRRRAAKKKKKKKEEEEEE" I I brake....then we spent the next few minutes with "ON" "OFF" for braking signals so dad and son could push this tractor up the trailer (WITH ME ON IT) was SCARY......then he drove it to the repair shop and I went to watch FoodTV INSIDE, where I belong.

I got home to make jambalya for dinner, and also buy school supplies. Luckily, they didn't need alot (actually, I'd picked up a few things here and there recently), so I schelpped to the Wal-mart, where they didn't have any filler paper. Now, explain to me how WAL MART....the largest retailer in the world doesn't have FILLER PAPER on the day before school starts? I wasn't asking for anything fancy, or unreasonable...just some paper! They had folders to put said paper INTO, but no paper. Oh...and no normal highlighter pens. I bought some that had designs on them, and was informed by my son that they were 'GIRL' highlighters. Sigh.

I found a line that wasn't a billion people long and stood to wait. Of course, I picked the line where people buy CIGARETTES. Uh, huh....I did. I stood behind a woman with 3 children swarming around her......she bought a pepsi, a pack of trident and some smokes..........used her Wal Mart gift card that the clerk couldn't make work and she was still $1.50 short. The people behind me were kin to her, because she firstly tried to get them to get into line with THEIR FULL CART with her, and leave me in their dust (which they politely didn't do......maybe because of the DAGGERS I was shooting from my nostrils), and secondly because the BAREFOOTED CHILDREN with her kept bothering her while she was buying her smokes and she kept asking them to go back with 'their parents'. So, anyway, while she's digging for pennies, the little girl goes back to whomever, and gets the dollar fifty. I was already frustrated by the lack of freaking SCHOOL SUPPLIES, and I really, REALLY try not to judge, but holy crap. If you are pinching pennies for your cigs, then DON'T BUY THE PEPSI AND GUM........if you are worried you may not have enough, then PUT THE EXTRA'S BACK........and WHY were these kids BAREFOOTED IN WAL MART?? EWWWWWWW. Dirty little feet from the dirty floor........aaaarrrggghhhhh. Buy shoes, not smokes!!!

I think my dog may have flipped me off in his little canine way......I let them out and Buster was barking to come back in. Copper was sunning himself on the patio. Buster BOUNDS into the house expecting a treat, and I called Copper...and he looked over his doggie shoulder at me like " want me to GET UP? AND COME IN??" And then he haughitly looked I left him out. Then some truck drove by and he went all crazy with barking and came in anyway..........DOGS.......

Off for now....have a good monday!

Edited: The salsa is nearly PERFECT.......maybe leave out the sugar....the peppers and tomatoes are sweet If I had to change something, that would be it......yummmmyyyyyy.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Thoughtful Thursdays

Okay, so 9th grade open house wasn’t as bad as I expected. There were less ‘perfect’ moms and more moms like me there, so I felt better. Jakki and I can now officially be 9th grade mom’s together since the two middle schools in town merge in the 9th grade building. Her ‘hottie’ of a son and my ‘hottie’ of a son will grace the same school for the first time since we’ve all known each other. The football boys came and joined the parents during the open house assembly---talk about a STINK. Son #2 and his best friend, Cameron, left their sweaty football clothes IN MY HOT CAR while we were in the open house. THE REEKING ODOR OF SWEATY 15 YR OLD BOY permeated my entire FORD EXPLORER—and those things are BIG…….oh….it was terrible. It was SO terrible it even grossed out my SON---and he’s the one who SMELLED like that…….I made him febreeze the vehicle and leave a window down all night….it was DISGUSTING.

I did, however, sit next to my Senior Prom Date, Nick, in Honors English (we went to each of the kids 1st semester classes for a 10 minute meet and greet). That was mildly awkward. Despite any progress made with self-esteem, and despite the fact Mr. Perfectly was in the seat in FRONT of me….I still wish I was the 17 yr old Perfectly—the tiny one that NICK went to prom with. Here I am, walking in looking for a seat near my son and husband and there’s the prom date……”Oh, hi, Nick…..”…..”Hello Perfectly.” I busied myself in reading ‘The Gift of the Magi” in the Literature textbook on the desk. I wasn’t paying attention to the teacher, either. Son #2 didn’t KNOW that was my senior prom date, so I told him. He laughed…he thinks it’s funny that I dated boys before Mr. Perfectly. He thinks it’s MORE funny that I run into these people at school.

Here’s an actual portion of a conversation I heard at work just a few minutes ago between a 70+ old, never married, file clerk, with a bunch of CATS and a 48 yr old examiner….it apparently was about his goatee…..this is the only part I overheard…..

MAN: “Yeah, when I shaved it off a few months ago, my wife told me I didn’t have a chin. That HURT my feelings, so I grew it back. I explained to her that I’ve picked up weight and it’s not that I don’t have a chin, it’s just moved DOWN (chuckle, chuckle)”

70+ old woman CO-WORKER: “Well, you tell her that an anonymous source said it was SEXY”

WTF? SERIOUSLY………I’m speechless. Speechless.

Here’s some puppy porn for your viewing pleasure!!!!! Isn’t he just about the CUTEST thing you’ve ever seen? (Oh, since you can’t see his face, you may not know who it is…..IT’S LESTER….Ph.D’s puppy)

Gotta run for now…..I’ll try (TRY) to post some of my senior prom pictures later….after I get home…….they are cute.

Oh--J-Money--If you read this...sorry for misspelling obsessively in my comments to you.....nothing more embarrassing, or more frequent than me misspelling a word in a pro writer's blog

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I wasn't going to post today

because I was pouting. It's been a bad couple of days. I feel ANXIETY and I'm mad at the stupid STUPID people who comment in our local paper.....I didn't sleep well, and I had to go to the doctor for a physical. A PHYSICAL, PEOPLE. I don't WANT to know if my cholesterol is high......or whatever..........I want to magically get thin, have my boobs be perky and live THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? HUH?

But then I watched this stripper video. I couldn't watch it at work....stupid I saved it for home. It INSPIRED me to feel happy again!! That and my doctor said my cholesterol was down, and he'd give me a little pill for the anxiety........I asked for Xanex, and he said no. PPPFFFHHHHHHT (that was a tongue raspberry in case y'all didn't get that). I got Buspar again. I got 30 of those suckers a year and a half ago when my grandma was dying of Cancer and we spent Christmas with her, and I was tense and anxious. I still have one precious Buspar (that's not as good as xanex), and the Doctor thought that maybe it was stale by now, and gave me 30 MORE. I guess he figured if I'd only taken 29 in the last year and a half, the likelihood of me gulping these down in one shot are slim to none.

Now I kinda want to do a fat girls version of the stripper video......Chrissy did you check that out at the library? Do you think MY library will have it in po-dunk Missouri? If not, will you send it to me so I can borrow it? My husband would KILL me if I spent money on a video that I was only going to use to be funny on the internet, and not for HIS benefit..........Hey...I think I may have a Sweatin to the Oldies video around here somewhere........It even uses PROPS......canned goods for arm weights. Why would Richard Simmons have people lift FOOD for exercise? Isn't lifting food ALREADY WHY WE ARE USING THE VIDEO? Wow...betcha didn't know I could be so thought provoking, huh?

But then I fat funny? Will Perfectly teetering around in clogs and plus size stretch wear be interesting? Even if I am holding a jelly jar full of wine? I asked the Doctor lots of questions today about moles and peeing, but I didn't think to ask about fat stripper dancing. HMMMMMM......

Okay, kids. I'm off to the 9th grade open house. I'll have to go play nice with all the "perfect" moms that showered and dressed for the occasion before the open house. I am wearing what I wore to work, and I'll stick a kleenex in my pocket, since my allergies are sort of acting up. I bet more than not will have on sandal/heels, capri's and a cute summery twin-set with sparkles everywhere.........ha...they don't KNOW that I'm addicted to QVC...and I know that necklace is DIAMONIQUE.....because I have one JUST EFFING LIKE IT.

Sorry if I sound bitter.........

Instead of paying attention to my sons teachers, I'll be thinking of fat fun video ideas..........just wait...I'll give Crissy a run for her money. Ken, my husband takes pictures too....we don't have a video camera so that may be a problem, but we can maybe do a flip book for the 'action' shots.


Tuesday, August 12, 2008


That’s a high school cheer that goes back to MY day, and they still cheer that chant today “FIRED UP, JC, FIRED UP (clap, clap, clap). FIRED UP, JC, FIRED UP” Over and over—trying to get the crowed all riled up….and excited for the game.

Well, I’m all fired up, over crap that’s none of my business. I’m complaining about people doing the EXACT thing I’m doing……judging.

In our local newspaper, there was an article that tore at my heart. There were a whole bunch of kids cited for Minor in Possession. Most of them were 18, so adults by law, yet minors regarding alcohol laws. The local paper published the 17 and 18 yr old names. I know some of these kids and their parents……..and this is the scenario that keeps me awake at nights……..worrying about my sons drinking, doing drugs, driving, having sex….you name it….I worry about it. This group is kids that my oldest knows and sometimes hangs with. All good kids. Some bozo decided that it was their CIVIC duty to post the name of the party giver’s PARENT in this forum and that ticked me off.

Anyway, as I’ve mentioned before, our community is quite small, and there’s a lot of name dropping and job title dropping around these here parts. The newspaper allows online forums to comment on each story. The people who comment are negative, demand details to stories that aren’t their business and judge everyone. A local politician was arrested for a crime….a bad one, and the online forum people made it a stab against this man’s political party, so it became a Conservative vs. Liberal comment-fest. The hundred plus comments ended on the note (the day I read them) that Liberals are why our nation is fat. Yeah. That’s how MY town rolls.

So, what do I do? I join the fracas and post my OWN judgemental comments on the forum about these kids that were cited for MIP. Yes I Did. I’m ashamed of myself for getting dirty like the rest of them.

I was TRYING to convey that these kids are not ours, and the family whose house had the party aren’t RELATED to us, therefore, we shouldn’t be CONCERNED over the specifics……like how law enforcement came to know about the party……about the ‘fact’ that kids were lined up to take breathalyzers……that kids from ‘good’ families won’t suffer………demanding to know the name of the parent whose house HAD the party….why wasn’t the homeowner’s son cited?

Now really…….does any of the above have any bearing on 18 kids that got an MIP? No…it’s just gossip and people being nosy and petty. So I told them they were being nosy, gossipy and petty, and I was told I’m bitter and defensive… once again, I GATHERED up the nerve to speak up on a controversial topic and nobody UNDERSTANDS ME. It just bothers me that people don’t look in their OWN closets before dragging the dirt out of other’s closets.

Why, oh WHY, Internet doesn’t the world understand me? I was only trying to say that it’s bothersome that everyone gets so much PLEASURE out of other’s heartache…….it’s sick. But since I joined in, I must be sick too.

Happy Tuesday!!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Jingle Jangle

Do you ever hear songs that stay in your HEAD no matter what? No matter how hard you TRY to forget it, it is STUCK there?

I do.........and it's one of the idiosyncrasies of life that I CANNOT STAND. For instance, I was reading Lawyerish today, and she mentioned Neil Diamond and his song "Sweet Caroline". Now for the last 30 minutes, that tune has rattled and rolled around my brain, and it won't STOP.

This made me think, as well as an article I saw on MSN today, how the Free Credit Report jingles won't leave me alone either. "F.. R.. E.. E.. THAT SPELLS FREE, CREDIT REPORT.COM BABY". Apparently the dude that fronts the little 3 man band in the Free Credit Report spots isn't even SINGING THEM. I always thought that he was lip sync-ing, but, thought it was part of the 'SCHTICK' of the commercial. I thought it was supposed to be representative of a well made/pretend to be badly made commercial. He's a French actor that can sing and play instruments. Wow. He plays the guitar, but he doesn't sing the jingles. Interesting.

But forget about that...does anyone else have the problem with the Free Credit Report jingles? Or the "five.....FIVE DOLLAR FOOT LONGS" from Subway? Or the car commercial that uses Queen's "You're my best friend"? (which is incidentally Teenie's ringtone on my phone). These tunes and ditties get in my brain and won't LEAVE. It drives me to distraction sometimes. So much so that Mr. Perfectly and Son #2 think it's HYSTERICAL to sing the Free Credit baby jingle randomly so I can't sleep or watch a television show or WHATEVER. What about the Ford Edge commercial that was on last year? "I WANT TO LIVE ON THE EDGE"........I'm sure I could come up with a whole host of drivel that won't leave my brain, but if I think TOO hard about it, I'll be done for the day.......Sweet Caroline for now is enough, I think.

Anywho......It's just another Monday in small town America. want to hear about the Birthday Dinner? Ok!

The in-laws got in town around 3 pm or so. We grilled bratwurst, hamburgers, chicken breast, hot dogs, and a polish sausage..oh, and corn. We had sliced tomatoes from Perfectly's dad's garden, cucumber salad and cantaloupe. We had a Dairy Queen Blizzard ice cream cake for dessert. Holy crap those things are expensive!! And not a bite of CAKE in it.............just ice cream and fudge was a very nice afternoon.....until my Mother-in-law asked a very general, non-threatening question......"So, what do you think of OBAMA". Well, I knew for SURE Mr. Perfectly wouldn't answer that one so I obliged her with a big THUMBS UP whilst glugging my very sweet St. James Blackberry wine. Actually, she dropped this bomb AFTER discussing Missouri's Gubernatorial candidates..........She's never even HEARD of the Republican candidate, so I proceeded to fill her in on the Democratic candidate's STRONG points.....not that I know of any politically, but I do know him as a person and he's a really nice guy. His wife is really nice....we visited one day in the Grocery Store line....we have sons the same age.........but I made sure that I properly praised the Dem. candidate....I thought maybe I was on a roll when the OBAMA question came up. I'm guessing I was not.

I tiptoe around people all the time, and I decided if she was going to ASK, I was going to answer. I got the lecture from Father-in-Law about how I'd better like 40% income taxes if OBAMA wins.......blabbity blah blah blah. I took a breath to respond and was KNEED under the table by none other than the corn eating, non speaking Mr. Perfectly. He doesn't like confrontation in any way, shape or form. And he CERTAINLY knew that bringing in FIL's arsenal of handguns didn't thrill me...they are going to apply for a conceal and carry permit----**sigh**. I walked into my living room to my BABY holding some sort of pistol, I figured if I endured the arsenal, they could learn the UGLY truth....their Daughter-in-law is a DEMOCRAT (gasp). I may not be able to intelligently debate politics, and I honestly can't say that I don't see both sides views on some things........but if I don't vote for the right reasons, I'm voting to get the bad guys OUT OF OFFICE. If nothing else.

Other than that little blip on the radar, the day was fine...very nice. We didn't do presents. That made me feel a little bad, but we NEVER know what to get his dad or our dad......they both have everything they want, so hopefully he'll realize that dinner and ice cream cake was from the heart.

Here's photos...see Hot Mr. Perfectly being silly?

Here's a nice one of both of the In-laws:

Here's a couple of random shots that I didn't know we had of Son #2 giving one of the dogs, Copper, a bath on Sunday:

I hope you enjoyed the tales of what rattles around in my brain and my little fit of rebellion............!!!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

His name is.....

Lester. He's an 8 week old Basset Hound puppy, and he's ADORABLE.

Ph.D, her hubby and their dog, Stella are all adjusting to a new puppy in the house. He sleeps alot, poops alot and is generally tons of fun, from what I hear. Stella is slow to warm up to him, but my guess is before long, that she'll be THRILLED to have a brother to romp with. I led Ph.d and her hubby to Stella. We'd never seen nor heard of all black basset hounds, but there were 2 of them waiting on adoption. Ph.D was suspicious from the start that they may not be full blooded, but we were assured they were........well, 2+ years later, Stella has a black lab head, black lab coloring, and a basset body & legs----Stella is a mix. We assume, obviously, that the baby daddy was a black lab. She's GORGEOUS, and healthy, but I always feel a smidge guilty for taking them to these people who advertised full basset babies......they love Stella, and I know they aren't upset, but still....I sort of feel guilty.

I am sitting here, processing boxed hair color. My hair is very gray---and despite my age, even I think it is overly gray for being 42. I have what I lovingly refer to as a 'skunk stripe' in my bangs....on the right hand side. Both the boys noticed it GLARING between my blonde locks, so I thought it was TIME TO COVER THOSE SUCKERS. I hate coloring my hair. I don't know if I'm DOING it right, or if it will WORK or what color I should use. I generally go a shade darker than maybe I need to (for those of you in the 'know' I use 7--dark blonde natural) hair looks BROWN for a few days then the expected brassiness starts in, and I go blonde again. My real hair color? I try to stay as close as I can with it....I was a very VERY blonde kid.....regular blond teen and dark blonde after having kids. It's that sort of mousey, no color blonde......but because I choose chemical hair colors to cover my plethora of grays, I usually end up 'blonder' by the end of the cycle than it really is.

Today is my Father-in Law's birthday. We are slowly but surely trying to determine if we'll hang out with them today---Mr. Perfectly sort of is on of those SLOW guys......and he also doesn't like alot of hassle in life, so he was slow to call his Daddy today, and determining what the day's plans may hold. Therefore, I'm sitting here for 30 minutes, with hair color processing.

He did, however, run and get me a cup of my favorite coffee drink....A dark chocolate mocha with a shot of raspberry. I really dont' like Starbucks coffee, but another chain, called Dunn Brothers is oh so palate appears to LOVE Dunn Brothers coffee.

I can't really RELAX with it since I don't dare sit anywhere where I might spray hair color....but at least I can blog and drink my coffee.

Last night, we went to Flat Branch Pub and Brewing in Columbia, MO for dinner. It's a cute place. Not fancy by any means, but it's casual atmosphere and varied menu (meatloaf to seafood), makes for a nice dinner. I ordered their 5 cheese garlic pizza with tomatoes. YUMMMMMM. It's one of the best pizzas I've eaten. I'm sort of a pizza snob, I guess. I don't like meaty pizzas (no sausage or pepperoni for me, thanks) and I don't like heavy pizza sauce. I like light sauce, veggies and light sauce. When we make pizza at home, we use canned or jarred spaghetti sauce instead of pizza sauce is just too HEAVY......blech.

Mom's nite out was fun, but not as much fun as in years past. The turnout was lower than usual, and the excitement level seemed low. It was very sad for me as a mom, since my Senior isn't playing. I'm super excited that the Freshman is playing, but I feel sort of lost that the varsity player won't be playing. Go to to see photos, and my hubby's handiwork.....our school is building a state of the art stadium, and he's kept a photo diary all spring and summer regarding the process.

Mr. Perfectly is a pretty decent amatuer photographer. He really loves it, and takes some awesome pictures. He's DYING to get a zoom lens so he can get closeup football photos of son #2.........His photoblog is listed on my go visit it.....I'll beg for comments for him too...he really likes to get comments about his photos.

Well, my processing time is up, so time to go. I can't announce what our plans for the day will be as Mr. Perfectly is still talking on the phone (sigh). I'll save that for posts tomorrow.

Toodles for now. Enjoy your day!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

ALERT! ALERT! NEED QUICK RESPONSES--Special 2nd Thursday edition!!

Ph.D may be getting HIM……(the one on the left).

I am looking for name ideas. If they get him, he’ll have a sister named Stella (whom they’ve had for a couple of years now…she’s a bassett mix).

She said my internet could name him, but only if she likes the suggestions. And I didn’t really discuss this with her husband, so he may have other ideas….but JUST IN CASE….we need NAMES, Internet!!!

Baby Basset Hound Names!!

All of you shy readers that read and don’t want to comment, now is your CHANCE TO BE HEARD (besides, it’s another opportunity to beg for comments).

I don’t have a prize, so you’ll have to be satisfied with the knowledge that you MAY have provided a bassett hound baby with a name.

Bring the names ON folks!!

I finally did it---here’s proof that I suck as a parent

I bribed my son. Out and Out bribed him. My oldest will be a senior in high school. He’s played football since 5TH GRADE. 5th, people! He claims he doesn’t want to play anymore. He can’t or won’t tell us why. Just that he doesn’t ‘want’ to. Now, I know sports aren’t the be all end all of his life, but sports DOES keep him a little on the straight and narrow, and it makes him PART of something. A team……team pride……..all that lame crap. We’ve BEGGED, CAJOLED, AND INSISTED that he play. Short of forcing him to go, by threat of punishment or worse, we’ve tried everything else we knew how to do.

I talked to Coach at ‘Mom’s Nite Out’ about my youngest, who’s a Freshman this year. And how gung-ho he is, and how enthusiastic he’s been all summer about playing. Then coach asked about son #1……..He said to tell him that there’s a ‘place’ for him if he wants to come back. And that they need all the guys they can get.

Now, I’m not STUPID…….(well, I can be air headed, but not stupid), and I know that coaches play all nicey nice with the parents…..especially the Mom’s. BUT, it gave me hope that if son #1 went to play that they wouldn’t TOTALLY punish him for his abandonment (our city is a very big rah-rah football city-----).

SOOOOOO, I went to him yesterday and offered this: We’d pay for the rest of his tattoo to be finished (the wings) and I promised him we’d fiddle around with his curfew and such so he’d be sure to get plenty of social time along with his school and football time. If he at least tried going back. Two-a-days start on Monday, and I told him we’d still pay for the tattoo if he’d give two-a-days a shot.

He’s thinking about it. I suck.

I don’t want to force him….I really don’t, but until 11th grade, football was a true passion for him. He’s fast as the wind and has some true natural talent. He’s not the best, but he’s got ‘it’. I think he’ll regret it later if he doesn’t play. They are building a state of the art new stadium, with professional turf, etc……as a Senior, it would be so cool for him. He’d be the first class, the first TEAM to play there….as a Junior, he was on the 2nd team, so it’s not like he’s a total slouch at the sport.

Besides, I just worry that he’s taking the wrong path. His friends are sweet, but party a bit, and I worry that he’s just sort of giving up. I don’t care what he does for a living, I just want him to be secure and happy-----and if he makes the wrong choices, it could be devastating. He went to weightlifting for a while right after track season, but out of the blue, just gave it all up. I just don’t know why.

There’s a fine line between leading your kids in the right direction, and being too pushy and demanding. Right now, I think I’m in the latter category. I just want to lead him AWAY from what I fear he’s heading towards.

I think he’s just thinking about it to placate me…… I imagine my bribing will not work. It makes me so sad that he’s giving this sport up for no apparent reason.

Help me, Internet……..why does this get to be so badly? I’m not a sports fan AT ALL, and I know very little about the game………It’s just that I guess I’m so proud that he was part of something so ‘big’…you know? So seemingly IMPORTANT………..and he was GOOD at it.

I’m sad, Internet. I’m being pushy, too. I’m just not up on how to parent in this situation. There’s also no MANUAL on the subject, so I can’t research it on Google, either. ARRGHHHH.

Right now he’s very mildly considering a visit to the coach for a talk. He refuses…REFUSES….to commit to doing it. I think he knows if he’d just TALK to the man that maybe he’d feel a bit of the spark… least I think he might……..but I really think right now he thinks because he quit, that he won’t play at all. I think the coach will tell him honestly about that………if son #1 would JUST GO AND TALK TO HIM.

Ok…..deep cleansing breath………..IIINNNNN….OOUUUUTTTTTT.

Ok. Enough . Obsessing. (yeah, right) Thanks for letting me vent. Believe it or not, it does help. To read my mania myself….makes me worry about my OWN SANITY…hahahaha.

Let’s see….does anyone have any ideas for dinner? I have chicken at home…..hamburger……..maybe some pork, but I don’t know. I really am not a huge pork fan. But for SURE hamburger and chicken. I need FABULOUS ideas……….bring it on!

Toodles for now.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Lost my mojo

I was all set to blog a LONG, WINDY post yesterday.......and the computer was messed up last night, and I couldn't load pictures, and it took HOURS for anything to move, so I gave up. I may end up with a long, windy post, but I make no promises.

My dad has baby kittens at the farm. They are really young and their mama is a tiny little cat, so I worry that they don't get enough to eat or drink. Perfectly's dad let us bring all 6 (yes SIX) of them into his house (cat's aren't allowed in, except for one....Bob), and we taught them how to eat. They ate Bob's eggs that I'd fixed for his dinner. He wasn't too happy either.


6 kittens can eat ALOT. I fixed 3 eggs for Bob, and just LOOK at how much the babies ate!! This is Teenie and me babysitting the kittens so they didn't fall off of the counter to their deaths.

They are also M E S S Y! Teenie played kitty mama and cleaned them up (with a TOWEL....not her tongue) before we sent them back to the barn.

Mr. Perfectly also captured Son #2 and Girlfriend locked in a pose. Way to close for my comfort level......he's not very clean shaven, but he really is cute.....the girls all love his blue eyes and curly hair. THIS girl in particular......

Oy---I fear I have cause to worry---they are ONLY 14 and 15.

I am off to another fabulous social event tonight. It's 'Mom's Nite Out'. This is an event hosted by the football coaches to try to teach the moms something about football. I'll have photos! It's always fun, but as usual, it's the put on 'Perfect' moms vs. the regular, every day moms like me that really don't try to put on airs. It's very intimidating for me......I feel judged because of my weight and because my kid isn't PERFECT, and....welll........lots of other reasons that I can't come up with right now. I'm trying very hard to let GO of the insecurity and have fun.

I made asian lettuce wraps last night, and let me tell you THEY WERE AWESOME.

Perfectly's Asian Lettuce Wraps

3T sesame oil
1 lg shallot minced
1 bunch green onions (use white part only---slice and reserve green part)
3 small cloves garlic grated
1/3 c dry sherry
1/3 c soy sauce (I used lite)
2T mango chutney
2-3 T sweet chili sauce
2T duck sauce
splash of rice wine vinegar
1/4-1/3 c chunky peanut butter
3 pre-cooked (I used grilled from night before) boneless skinless chicken breasts.

Saute shallot, onion and garlic in sesame oil. When sweated out, add sherry to deglaze pan (if necessary) and add all other ingredients EXCEPT peanut butter. Bring to a simmer, then add peanut butter and melt. Turn off sauce before it reduces too much.

Cut up chicken in the manner you want (minced, diced or sliced) and add into the warm sauce. Bring to simmer again to heat chicken through.

Serve on lettuce cups/leaves.

Top with sliced red pepper, green onion tops (from before), sliced cucumber, sliced carrot and peanuts (if desired).


Now, to me, this preparation was very deep and strong...the lettuce and veggie toppings balanced out the strong flavor of the chicken and sauce. Not strong as in BAD, but soy saucy--garlicky---etc........and AS ALWAYS my measurments are guesses. I'm a dumper, not a TASTE and adjust to your personal liking. Just remember, the sauce is strong....adding the meat and topping w/ cold fresh vegtables and putting in lettuce really reduces the overall strong sauce.....use a little water to thin out the sauce if it thickens up too much before adding the chicken. TRY'll be a HERO to whomever you are cooking for. The grilled chicken did NOT add a weird flavor (as I feared it would) to the was excellent, so I highly recommend grilling chicken and using the leftovers for this dish. MMMMMMMMMMMM.

See ya for now. I'll be back with tales to tell about 'Mom's nite out'.

Friday, August 1, 2008


Ok. I admit. I have issues with things MOUTH related. I don’t do spit, or loogies, or loose teeth. Toothpaste spit GROSSES me out, and must be spat ONLY in the bathroom sink. No kitchen brushing in the Perfectly House.

Therefore, I am totally skeeved by one of the bands playing at our local county fair tonight. They are called Saliva. SALIVA, people…….S A L I V A. They even have a website.

Now, I realize our county fair isn’t a big deal. That up and comers or oldies (such as Blue Oyster Cult) are frequent players at county fairs. It’s a rite of passage for new groups to ‘headline’ at the local fair. But look at their photo………..just look. I can’t see a bunch of redneck boys coming to the fair looking forward to the BEER GARDEN going to see these Saliva fellows.

Apparently Saliva has been in existence since 1996. They, according to their website, have singles. And a record deal. If that is the case, then WHY are they at a po-dunk local fair?

Saliva. Gross. I won’t be able to quit thinking about it the rest of the day. Shudder.

Although, Def Leppard did make an appearance a couple of years ago at our Fair. Now, being the 80’s girl that I am, I must say, that did excite me. Although, I didn’t venture out into the oppressive August heat of Missouri to see them. Besides, it wouldn’t be the SAME if all the original gang weren’t playing………is the drummer still the One-Armed guy? And, I’m not sure if “Pour Some Sugar On Me”would be quite the same at the dusty fair, butting up against the Cattle Barn. “POUR Some SUGAR On Meeeeeeee (Moooooooo), come on and FRY me up (MOOOOOOOOO)”.

We are supposed to experience record heat this weekend and Monday. I sort of want to go to the fair. I haven’t gone for YEARS, and it seems kind of nostalgic and fun. But it will be so HOTTTTT. I absolutely HATE to be hot. Or sweaty. Actually, I guess I don’t care about being hot, but I hate to sweat. HATE IT. I can’t express enough how much I HATE TO SWEAT.

Well, I guess that’s about it for now. I’m going to call QVC right now to pay for my bra. I couldn’t steal from them. I fear KARMA in the worst way.

Have an awesome weekend!