Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Dancing with the Perfectly's

WOOT WOOT!!

Mr. Perfectly won Stoogie's NUDE MILF contest. No, I'm not the MILF, Crissy is.....but Mr. Perfectly won!!!

I am so excited. He won PHOTOSHOP! I can be SKINNY and PERKY again!! Or Vixen like......or WHATEVER I WANT TO BE!!

I've taken Crissy's thought about being fair into a great deal of consideration. Mr. Perfectly may not be ready to wow you all with his NEKKIDNESS yet. He called me as he was leaving work, though, and said he was walking to his car naked to see how it felt.

Crissy and Stoogie apparently had some legendary phone sex (sorry mom.....don't read this one) during or after choosing Mr. Perfectly and Melissa Lion (she won the camcorder for Pimping Stoogie's contest) as winners.

I'm not sure how phone sex works.....can someone explain? I mean "what are you wearing" or "Are your toenails painted?" just somehow doesn't replace the whole person to person FEEL of stuff, you know? I mean what does the GIRL say? "What's Mr. Wiggly doing now???" I'm a bit confused. The whole sex movie, toy, product industry sort of leaves me befuddled.

One time, many years ago Jakki and another friend of ours, and I went to an 'adult' shop. Our friend was standing there stroking this pretty pretty hair thing....we wondered what it was....our friend wondered out loud if maybe it was a (*whisper*) WHIP? It was a buttplug, with a horsey tail. Now seriously. This thing was really big......what is the POINT? I didn't think the goal was to get things all stretchy.......AND what in the world would be appealing about an individual, with a horsey tail IN THEIR BUTT?

See, one time, I had a hemorrhoid removed. It was the most humiliating experience of my entire life. Really. And I've had my fair share. I'll share with you so grab a glass of wine, and know that this honest to god a TRUE story.......

It started innocently enough......I was in the surgeon's office and a nice nurse asked me about the book I was reading. We had a nice discussion about the book. I even thought about coming back to lend it to her after I was through.......then another nurse comes in and starts preparing a few items.

THEN THE DOCTOR COMES IN. I was still dressed, holding my purse and book. He instructed me to 'drop my pants'. Uh--huh!! In front of everyone. I set my purse and book on the exam table, and very reluctantly dropped my jeans. He THEN instructed me to kneel (pants around my ankles) with my KNEES on the footrest of the exam table, and lean my BODY over the end of the exam table. (I'll wait a sec to let you get a visual on that).

Stupid me DID IT. Two nurses and one doctor certainly got to regale THEIR families with a story that night over dinner!!

Oh, it gets worse, Internet. It gets worse. The nice book nurse comes to me and takes TAPE......TTTAAAPPPPPEEE and sticks it onto my ASS. Tape on my ass. She pulls a long piece of it away from the roll and sticks the OTHER end of the tape to my hip. She does the same thing with the other ass cheek. SHE WAS TAPING MY ASS APART...........HEAR THAT PEOPLE? TAPING MY ASS APART!!!!!! WITH ME DRAPED OVER AN EXAM TABLE...ON MY KNEES!!

As I sat there, with my ass taped apart, and my swollen sphincter for all to see, the Doctor froze the hemorrhoid with that liquid nitrogen stuff and proceeded give me a shot in the frozen hemorrhoid, which hurt like HELL----then cut it off.

He then placed a small cigar shaped piece of cotton up into my butthole, untaped my ass, and let me pull my pants up.

I barely got out of there before I burst into tears. I was mortified, and totally devastated.

I got home and that damn piece of cotton was the worst thing about the recovery part of the situation. I then had to call the damn doctor back to ask if I could take the little plug out so I could SLEEP. I've never had anything so uncomfortable in my life as that little piece of cotton.

So, why in the WORLD would someone want a plastic plug that is larger than a FIST with hair dangling from it in their rear? WHY?

Needless to say, I didn't loan that stupid nurse my book.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

All a Twitter

I want to sign up for Twitter. I am scared, though, because what if people don't follow me? What if I get fired for twitting all day long? What the hell IS twitter?

I've been showing Son #1's photos around looking for praise and acceptence--like I created him from bronze or something. Sheesh......a little egg here, some schmutz there......and we got HIM. Oh, we got another one, too--How did we MAKE these guys?

I was annoyed at work yesterday when showing off my husbands photography, and my son's looks. The stuffy set at work were all "is that a REAL tattoo, or just a temporary one?" looking down their nose at me......and "oh, I didn't know he had an EARRING". I said "he doesn't....he's got two". Again, the looking down the nose at me. Or when trying to explain to the conservative, midwestern prom queen moms et. al., why we chose the settings we did (sorry, Mr. Perfectly, that YOU did)...they sighed and said "well, my daughters would probably like this, but it just isn't what I would have chosen" Oh, and the yellow tennis shoes. Nobody looked at the lighting, the colors in the pictures the HDR (or whatever) effects, the TIME AND EFFORT IT TOOK for Mr. Perfectly to take the pictures or the handsomeness of the son.....NO....they NOTICED THE YELLOW SHOES.

I am not artsy. I wish I was (were?). I don't even always 'GET' art, either. But I know what I like and I prefer modern, stark, colorful, etc. Here is some art I'd like to paper my house in. Ser--iou---sly.

I get all excited over books (Melissa Lion is the latest obsession). In a roundabout weird way, I sort of, kind of KNOW her....at least know her comments on blogs.

I am very PROUD of my husband and his photography. He has taught himself everything he knows, and he does a pretty good JOB!

So, today, I showed the picture book to another co-worker. She made ALL the appropriate noises, and comments. She complimented the photographer and subject. Whew. I was worried. Apparently it wasn't Mr. Perfectly's photography or son #1, it is just people who don't/can't appreciate something other than formal drapes and studio portraits.

I somehow was not paying attention (as is the norm) when the creative genes were handed out. I can't even draw a stick figure. Really. I don't 'decorate' my house. Some of Mr. P's photos are on the wall, and we have mismatched furniture and Dogs (oh, and Joe Kitty). That's it. My one foray into decorating was our kitchen many years ago. Yeah. Rule number one: if you don't plan on RE-DECORATING in the next decade, then don't go with 'trendy' or what's 'in' at the moment. Because later in life you may come to regret the very dark hunter green on the walls, and the white cabinets, with the burgundy laminate counter tops. Yes you may. And you may also regret the matchy-matchy burgundy and white linoleum.

I tend to want to match with my clothing too. I'm afraid to mix patterns and colors. If I can't put an item WITH something else I have or am buying, I generally don't buy it. I can't go into the depths of my closet and find random things and just put an outfit together--that looks really cool AND put together. Yikes.

On the other hand, Mr. Perfectly can draw, he can take pictures, and he throws on a t-shirt and some surfer-dude shorts, and a backwards hat, and he looks trendy and relaxed.

So, how did we get from Twitter to creativity? I have no clue. I don't have either, so maybe I'd better get on the bandwagon and try the twit craze (or is it tweet?), since I obviously can't draw, paint or photograph. Or sing. Or dance. Or write.

Hey, I'm good at watching TV and reading blogs!! That should say something!!

I'm off for now!! 10-4!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Senior Moments

Well, it appears that Dex's worm and/or intestinal condition is improving. His doodie is firm and we haven't seen any blood. He has twice the energy he had when we got him, and he's FUNNY. I mean he was funny before, too, but he slept alot. He still sleeps alot, but at least now, between long cozy naps, he races through the house, plays with Copper, chews rawhides, and runs from us when he's got something he wants that he shouldn't have. Like socks. And cords. And Kleenex.

He hasn't had any accidents in the house since my last report. I think he may be smart. He seems to be potty training (other people I know act like potty training is so hard.......), he knows 'inside' and 'outside' he knows his name, oh and he responds well to 'GOOOOOODDDD BBBOOOYYYYY'. He knows 'NO', and he very much likes to sleep on down blankets and in our bed with us. He sleeps in his cage at night with little whining, and he's SO FREAKING CUTE, it's unbelieveable.

Mr. P went to take some photos of son #1 yesterday. Mr. P is acting as a photographer for his Senior pictures. Son #1 isn't as co-operative as I'd like. I had an absolute meltdown because when I told Son #1 that I wanted him clean shaven in the photos and he flat out refused. He didn't want to go take pictures, he didn't want to shave and I went nuts. He, of course, thinks I'm nuts. He said it should be HIS choice since they were 'his' pictures. You all know Senior pictures are as much for the family as they are for the kid. No matter what I said, he totally refused to shave and practically refused to go take pictures. Arrgh. Sometimes I feel like I suck at parenting, and sometimes I feel like I get shat upon on a regular basis.

Anyway, he got lots of pictures of Son #1, unshaven. The photos are pretty good after all, but I would still enjoy them more if he were clean shaven. He said he'll take more later on and shave. We'll see how that turns out.

Okay, we picked up the photos of Son #1 and they turned out pretty good. We have (well, I have) a very specific taste regarding the 'look' of pictures. I prefer so called 'urban' backgrounds....a modern, sort of stark look. I also kind of like the railroad track look.......unfortunately, many of the pictures were taken too far away to really be used as portraits, but it was a good practice session, and there are two specifically that turned out awesome........and several more that are good. We picked about 40 examples to print out to show him what we were going for.......and hope he likes the basic result and will 'allow' Mr. Perfectly to do this again having learned from his 'mistakes' if you will. Not that he made 'mistakes', but he isn't a portrait photographer. He has never enjoyed the portrait side of things.......although I'd be willing to bet that at least some of Son #1's friends will want similiar photos of them taken. He may get into the portrait business after all.
















See? Mr. P did a pretty good job, huh? Let me know what YOU think......like I said before, alot are too far away to be 'portraits' but this gives you a sense of what he was 'going' for. I am anxious to hear if we are on the right track!!

Toodles....Happy Monday!!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Festival Schmestival

Well, we drove the 2 and a half hours to Kimmswick for the APPLE BUTTER FESTIVAL. Wow. That's really all I have to say. Wow. Kimmswick is a quaint little downtown block. Ummm....but seriously? It's not a rural area...it's not deep in the hills. It's freaking in the middle of suburbia. Arnold, Mo....which is in (or near) ST. LOUIS COUNTY. No wonder it attracts over 100,000 people in a weekend. They all just live down the street!

It was elbow to elbow people. The freaky preppie ladies that hold the kitchy crafts for Halloween and Thanksgiving to heart! The bikers who came for the BEER and Scarface King Sized Blankets. The grandma types, the crazies, and then us. Me and Mr. Perfectly. Practically holding hands with the residents of St. Louis county.

What amazed us the very most were the buses. THEY HAD SCHOOL BUSES AS SHUTTLES. We paid some biker dude $10 to park near the festival. It probably wasn't even his property, and we contributed to the beer and barbeque fund, but what the hell. The buses picked up the retirment communities and preppy moms at a church and/or school parking lot and dropped them off at the edge of town. THERE WERE AT LEAST 4 BUSES running ALL THE TIME. They'd drop a group off, and the block line of people waiting to go back to their cars would load up. Over and Over and Over.

People were LINED UP like I said, at least a block long in two different spots with their kitchy treasures and SHAMWOW towels waiting to go back to their cars. It's like they ran in for the goods and then spent their festival day waiting in line for a bus.

Oh, and they try to FOOL you.....where we came in, there were at LEAST two locations selling apple butter. I PAID ATTENTION and it was purported 'Amish' apple butter or other packaged apple butter. It wasn't the KIMMSWICK apple butter. We finally found the pavilion where they were making the apple butter. They had an open flame, a HUGE copper pot and some dude with a wooden paddle stirring it, and letting the guests of the festival stir it as well. I did have a moment of clarity, though. When reading the online stuff about this festival, I somehow was thinking they SOLD the apple butter they were making on the spot. I could NOT figure out how they'd can and preserve it safely.....Duh. It was my blonde moment. Obviously, the big copper kettle they had going could not POSSIBLY provide apple butter for 100,000 people! They have it PRE PACKAGED according to their recipe THEN sell it. I felt sort of stupid at that point.

I found what was probably a Mennonite (as opposed to Amish) run booth selling artisan goat cheese. They SUCKED ME RIGHT IN with the orange/cranberry flavor. $9 for maybe 6oz of cheese. I think I got taken....right along with the other suburbanites. I looked EVERYWHERE for my garlic grater booth, and it wasn't to be found. This was the booth I saw at the Olde Type Apple festival a few weeks ago. I should have bought them then, but didn't. Oh well.

I also looked for slumped bottles, but not as earnestly. I went to a local paint your own ceramics place, and she will be doing bottle slumping and said for a nominal fee, she'll slump MY bottles too (hopefully soon). So, if this plan comes to fruition, Internet, you all may getting cheese boards for Christmas!!

It was still a fun way to spend the day with Mr. Perfectly. What? OF COURSE I have photos!! Would I not have photos?

Here's ME!!


Here is the Apple butter pavilion---I really am not evil..I just look like it in the photo!!





Scarface:



Artisan cheese:



Okay, take a look at the far left. See all the people facing one direction in a line? That is ONE bus line. Oh, and towards the middle left? The cart the little lady is pushing? Yeah, they either were renting or selling those so people could stuff their purchases in them and go buy MORE!!



We'll keep the Kimmswick festival on our list, but man. What a long trip to spend with SO MANY PEOPLE......

Happy Sunday Afternoon!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My Bum Itches Already

Dex has worms. Or something equally PLAGUE-ISH.

Remember the crazy lady with the disheveled Pentecostal bun that 'sold' us the pup? Yeah, she said he'd been wormed twice and had his first set of shots. I had him wormed on the 6th (his first vet visit) just in case, and we had him vaccinated. Again, just in case. Well, 10 days ago or so, I took Dex out for a potty, and noticed his poo glinting in the sunlight. Gross, right? Well, when I went to investigate, I realized it was blood and.....well....mucus (What an icky word). I called the vet who instructed me to PUT THE RUNNY, BLOODY POO into a baggie, and seal it, and take it to them. A BAGGIE??? So, I dutifully went to find a stick. I found, instead, a rounded out piece of bark...so I used it like a spoon, and deposited the 'sample' in said baggie and zipped it up.

The vet checked it and said he had a 'heavy burden' of hookworms. Hookworms burrow into the intestinal wall and suck the blood. Lovely. We were given additional worm medicine to give him, the cat and the beasty boys to protect them as well.

Here it is 10 days later, and the poo is still bloody and nasty. The vet says he's had ample time for the wormer to work (the 2 ROUNDS of wormer), and that it maybe whipworm (??) or Giardia or something else.....Toxidia or something like that? She prescribed 3 additonal medications to give him....one for 3 days, one for 7 days and the last for 10 days.

I took Dex back to the vet with me today to get his drugs and he weighs 5.7 lbs.....so he DID gain some weight in the last 2 weeks---one of the wormers needs to be sprinkled on food, so I will be feeding him canned food for 3 days to get the meds down......I took video of his first soft food experience. He looks troubled...or grossed out...or SOMETHING...but he ate it!! I don't know what the issue was...texture? Taste? Grit from the medicine. Mr. P. will splice my videos together to make one...I videoed the house, the yard, the dogs, our split tree from an ice storm. Obviously you don't need the length of all the videos, so my hubby will magically turn it into one.

So now I am worried about contracting some sort of intestinal parasite from my adorable puppy. **shudder** How gross would that be.

Hey, you all have heard of that Body Dysmorphic syndrome (or whatever). Where the really skinny people...the ones with bones showing enough to crack an egg on the edge? The ones that look like a skeleton with skin? When they look in the mirror they see a fat person. The rest of us are AMAZED that they can't see what is REAL.

Well, I think I may have a touch of that syndrome in reverse. I buy cute clothes, and try to match, and wear my mineral makeup and think I am looking all cute.....I know I'm fat...I can see it.....I know my size is huge...but I envision myself looking more NORMAL or AVERAGE. I see photos and I'm so disappointed...I look in the dressing room mirror and my heart sinks. I get my HAIR cut, and think I'll look so awesome....and I just look like the large faced, many chinned me...with different hair.

I posted the pictures from our Winery trip with much disdain and worry. I look awful. My makeup is not very dark.....my hair...oh the frizz...my chins.....the GARGANTUAN boobs. My boobs were always a source of pride---when I was skinny and the big boobs looked right. Now I just look all........well......MATRONLY. And Frumpy.

I've been trying to work on my self esteem. My self image. I have been doing pretty well of late, but this last round of pictures really did me in........

Okey Dokey--enough of the pity party.......on with the video. Sorry about the squee of the dog voice. You all KNOW YOU DO IT TOO!! Babies and pets get the 'voice'. I was also laughing....I don't hear myself laugh very often, so I'm scared, Internet. What if I sound really idiotic? Oh well........I'll leave the editing of my horrible video skills to my wonderful husband.....Mr. Perfectly.

video

Monday, October 20, 2008

Puchta-Rita!!

Oh, I missed you all! This is a doozie of a post----pictures as well!!!

I’ve been sick with Crissy’s newly named illness, the Monkey Plague, and although have kept pretty busy, today is the first day since Wednesday that I’ve felt relatively normal. I still sound like I’m talking through a conch shell sometimes still, though.

Let’s see, there’s SO much to ramble about today. I’ll just start from where I left off, I guess!! First of all, we have a Shrimp Fra Diavolo emergency. I totally left out the WINE in the recipe. I’ve edited it to include it now, but if you made it without the wine I’M SORRY…I think it adds to the recipe.

Have I ever told any of you my strange, yet paralyzing phobia? Vomiting. I am terrified to puke. Therefore, if I’m around anyone puking, I lose my MIND with worry that maybe I’ll ‘catch’ their germs, if it’s someone in my house, I clean up the hard surfaces with bleach trying to kill germs. It’s really a problem at times. Like when my kids were smaller and I couldn’t even help them when they were sick…….like when my co-workers and/or their families have a stomach virus……..people around my office resort to not telling me about illnesses to try to ease my mind. Unfortunately, it makes it worse if I hear about it later…..the fear still plagues me. More on this later.

Okay, on to the Monkey Plague. Lots of snot, sneezing and body aches. Oh, and my poor nose looked like it had been assaulted. `Nuff said.

Friday night, I thought I felt better and went to dinner with Teenie. She’s always a ton of fun, and as usual, we had a fun, laughter filled evening..

Saturday morning, I realized that in actuality, I felt like crap. Mr. Perfectly has been really growly lately, and was still working (successfully this time, I think) on son #1’s truck. This makes him VERY grouchy…….so I hated to be all wussy and complainey (although I did complain some)…I tried to do some things around the house, and was generally un-successful on that front. Every joint in my body ached---even after pain reliever (and that almost always works for me). I hinted at chili for dinner, but didn’t get it done. Bologna and cheetos—woo hoo. Quite the gourmet, aren’t I?

Sunday rolled around with an early morning call from the In-Laws---we’d asked the day before if they’d be interested maybe in heading to Hermann, Mo for the Oktoberfest. Y’all KNOW how I like my fall fests!! They originally said no, and I thought maybe with the plague and Mr. P being so grouchy maybe we’d forego the trip, but they decided to go, so we packed up and drove to Hermann. Oktoberfest is an all month deal, and every weekend in October they have festival-like stuff happening, and the wineries are the place to be. There are a huge number of wineries in that area of our state, and Hermann is home to many. Hermanoff and Stone Hill are the biggest and most well known, but there are tons of others. The Adam Puchta winery is my personal favorite. Well, maybe not the actual winery, but their wine. GO ONLINE AND ORDER SOME. It’s really good----at least in my unsophisticated book. Remember, I drink sweet fruity wines, and I’ve never swirled, slurped and aerated the wine in my life. If it goes in and tastes yummy, then I don’t worry about proper pairings, and such. I just drink it.

ANYWAY…..back to the order of events. Mr. Perfectly, me and the In-laws trekked to Stone Hill winery. We took the tour and it really was quite interesting. During prohibition and until the 60’s Stone Hill winery produced MUSHROOMS in their cellars. The government apparently came in and destroyed all their wine making equipment during prohibition……(that would suck) and they needed a way to make money---so mushrooms it was. There is still mold on the cellar walls that can’t be removed from the mushroom growing. There are small areas of the mold that have taken on a purplish hue from the wine ‘breathing’ in the cellars.










Then we went on to the tasting room HIP HIP HOORAY!! I tried every single one they offered----even though I do not enjoy the dry/harsher flavors of wine (Norton for example), I did try them, dumping the ones I REALLY didn’t care for. My mother-in-law didn’t want to try the dry wines at all, so she gave her samples to the Father-in Law, instead of dumping them into the urn. Needless to say, we REALLY needed to go eat at that point. We waited 30 minutes for their on site ‘Vintage’ restaurant---and it was fine. Not fabulous, but okay. The in-laws ordered a sampler platter, Mr. Perfectly ordered a sausage sampler, and I ordered the Wienerschnitzel (hope I’m getting that right).




After the mid-day meal, the in-laws left, and Mr. Perfectly and I headed to the local brewery. He’s a beer drinker, I am not. He tried their varieties of beer, and thought they were pretty good. We took the little tour of their brewer area and the gift shop. I had to use the ladies room, so I went in search…..downstairs of the brewery (a former MFA feed store)….the wooden steps leading into a concrete and limestone basement.






I could smell the bathroom right away. It LOOKED okay, but smelled pretty urine-ey. I just thought of the germ-x wipes in my car and WENT FOR IT anyway. My mistake. I found a stall just in time to hear “ssspppplllllaaaaash”, heavy breathing…..FLUSH ’splaaassshhh’….heavy breathing…..spit…spit…flush..’SSSPPPPLLLLLAAAAASSSSHHHHHH’….spit….heave….heave…..SPLASH. Flush

We had a puker. And it wasn’t me. I peed as QUICKLY as I could and despite the germ-x wipes in the car, stopped to wash my hands…….hearing more breathing and spitting. I high tailed it OUT OF THERE like you wouldn’t believe. It set off a phobia that hasn’t bothered me in 18 months or so. My relaxation level with the prospect of puking was increasing. This set me back 47 steps.

I’ve always told people that I thought I could handle being with someone drunk and puking because there’s nothing I could ‘catch’. I WAS WRONG…..I assume someone had been at the beer garden a wee bit too long, and was sowing the seeds of one too many beers. It still kept me on edge the rest of the evening. Apparently all puking sends me into fits of worry and fear. God help me if she had a virus. EWWW. I’m telling myself that SURELY it was drunken vomiting……….or even sadly guilty bulimic vomiting……..but please, NOT STOMACH VIRUS VOMITING.

What is the proper social protocol for that situation? Does one gently call out “are you okay” when one doesn’t KNOW the puker or why she’s puking? Or is it okay to totally ignore the poor soul and RUN LIKE HELL?

Anyway-----that awful scenario aside, it was a GORGEOUS day, and we finalized it by going to my favorite winery—Adam Puchta. Well, the winery isn’t as large or busy as others, but the WINE is my favorite. Mind you I only do sweet wines, and they have several. We went to the gift shops, and I wanted to buy gifts for Teenie and her sister Marie, but the t-shirts were $20 apiece….and I love the girls, but that’s a lot for t-shirts. Especially tiny ones…they are little skinny minnies.

We then went to the tasting room where I asked for my favorite pseudo-red called Riefenstahler. It’s very sweet, and served cold (thank goodness….I don’t understand room temperature reds). I then asked for a sample of another favorite…….Vignoles. I’m guessing by reading some bottles at the grocery store that Vignoles can be sweet all the way to semi-dry. This version is pretty sweet. She asked if I wanted a key lime cookie with my sample----she had a look like I should know what she meant. I asked ‘for what’ and she explained…….a sip of Vignoles, a bite of key lime cookie and another sip of Vignoles and it tastes like a Margarita!! I thought to myself…..sure……whatev…..but I tried it, and to my absolute surprise IT TASTED LIKE A MARGARITA….with no salt!!! OMG!! The wine tasting girl said it was a Puchta-Rita. I ran back to the shop and bought 2 bottles of the Vignoles and 2 $6 canisters of key lime cookies. I’m gonna have to come up with something on my own….6 bucks for a couple of ounces of cookies sucked, BUT I had to share with Teenie and Marie. Marie is coming to town on the 1st, so we’ll PUCHTA-RITA it then!!




We went home and took some pictures of son #1 going to the homecoming of our local Catholic school…….he’s so handsome.






End of weekend. Didja ever think I’d end this? It’s a long one…..but there was SO much to tell!!

Oh, Stoogie announced the sweepstakes winner! Check it out if you haven’t already.

Happy Monday evening!

Work is cracking down on internet usage, so between that, cooking dinner and holding a PUPPY....it's been a long time blogging today.

toodles!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Non-Confrontational

In other words, I generally turn tail and RUN. I don't like confrontation. I LOVE it in my mind....I go over scenarios where I SMASH another person's self esteem to SMITHEREENS....I have quick one liners that STING.....I can hold my own, I WIN.......but in real life, I just smile and nod when faced with people that make my life crazy.

For instance, take today. A jolly fellow calls and asks for information. I don't know WHY he felt the need to tell a stupid joke at the end of our call. Wasn't my unemotional monotone ENOUGH to clue him in that I was NOT INTERESTED? Apparently not. Here it goes.....and folks, he thought this was funny enough to chuckle throughout telling.......'Why did the pit bull cross the road?"

Are you HANGING?
Just wait.....

Seriously....you won't believe it....


TAAAAA DAAAAAAA

'To get her lipstick'

Yes internet......he said it....and because it was WORK RELATED, and I must be POLITE....I had to give some sort of semblance of a chuckle........I didn't WANT to, so it may have come out like an agonized croak, but I managed to do at least that.

Oh, hey, but I did manage to STICK IT TO THE MAN.....or my version of such. It was anonymous, so it was easier for me. A Marine recruiter called asking for son #1. He isn't here, so I offered to take a message (I could see from the caller ID that it was the G.O.V.E.R.N.M.E.N.T). He gave his name and told me he was from the Marines and he'd call son #1 back. I said "Please don't". And he made me tell him WHY......(because I don't want my kid killed for a war WE SHOULDN'T EVEN FREAKING BE IN)..So I told Mr. Marine that he was going to college and wouldn't be entering the military.

How was THAT for the middle finger waving at him.....over the phone.......? Yeah, that's what I THOUGHT. HOOOOAAAAAHHHHH THAT, sucker!!

But then, on Monday, when I was on my quest for that t-shirt? Remember? I was walking out of Cato with visions of babydoll tunics and legging......hoping that I'd look HOT and not....well, NOT......and some voice says...."Ma'am??"......and I was all like 'who me?" Thinking CLEARLY that I'm way not old enough to be a Ma'am. And she asks me if I'm headed UP a particular street. I sort of was, but I lied. I told her I wasn't. She asked me ANYWAY if I'd give her a ride 'to her house'. I told her I wasn't going that way, and TURNED TAIL. I went a different route and went to KMart where I saw the Steve Irwin look that drew me in............KHAKI...JACKETS....WITH....EMULETS...ARE....NOT ....YOUR....FRIEND.

I know, I'm a wuss.

I have a personal message for my pal Stoogie. I WANT TO WWWIIIIINNNNNN. Hear that? I'd like to win the $1200 BOOTY you have. I can't promise NUDITY, but I will send you some APPLE BUTTER in return!

Happy Drunken Ghost Hunter Wednesday!!

I may have to DVR ghost hunters and begin the evening with Drunken Debate....then end with Drunken Ghost Hunters. Whew, it'll be a LATE nite for Perfectly.......I plan on taking notes this time.....so when everyone is talking debate I don't get that glazed look of ignorance.......I know who I like, I know who I'm voting for, and I'm just watching the Debate because that is what grown ups are supposed to do. Not drink wine and wait to be scared by Ghost Hunters.

On another side note (since I've run my one topic post into the ditch ONCE AGAIN), puppies are ADORABLE, but they fart like nasty old men. Since I've begun this post, I've been looking around for steaming piles......and so far, I don't see anything but the pup......he must've eaten SOMETHING that didn't agree.....phew.......

He doesn't like the rain, however. He stood and trembled at the door, but FINALLY...ON COMMAND (she says proudly), he PEED......YEAH DEX!!

Okay, NOW Happy Drunken Ghost Hunters Wednesday!!!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Fashion Challenged

Holy Crapola, Batman....there's alot of SCARY choices for the larger set out there. All I want is an orange or yellow long sleeve tee shirt to go under a decade old sweater that I only wear in October. It's a Liz Claiborne, and I got it eons ago for like $3.99 at Dillards, and it looks like candy corn. It's black with orange, white and yellow stripes in it. It's great for October and October only. My white tee shirt is pretty dingy, so all I want is a new one...preferably in yellow or orange to shake the look up a bit.

I went to Cato (which I REALIZE is awfully ho-bag-ish), but they have a large selection of plus sized clothing. EVERYTHING that caught my eye was babydoll----sweaters, tunics those love/hate dress/shirt THINGS to wear over leggings.....and yes....they had leggings. LEGGINGS......with BABYDOLL......I LOVE IT.....and I just doubt my ability to pull it off. I'm FAT, people.....I'm large busted, which doesn't HELP the whole look!! Oh, so I went on to K-mart for a simple tee shirt...and what do they have THERE? The safari look. I could star on Wild Kingdom!!

I need help, internet! I don't have ANY fashion sense, and I want to be CUTE and comfy.....I don't do tight, or bulky....it must be COMFORTABLE (hence the draw to knit leggings and long tunic top dress thingies.....)

Oh, and KMart? Yea, they had orange tee shirts, but they were STUPID ones with "trick or treat" emblazoned on the breast......sheesh.......I am old, but help me out here people..........no witches or pumpkins or snowmen or puppies on the shirt. Or wolves. Or Precious Moments.......shall I go on?

Oh, and for those of you in the fashion 'know'....what the hell happened to the skinny pants coming back? In Cato they had legs SO HUGE that with them put together it looks like a long skirt. No....REALLY. The legs had HUGE diameter.......and again, on a 5'2" fat girl....that is EWWWWW. Really......EWWW. I know I'm fooling myself to think that a legging helps slim me, but it MAKES ME FEEL BETTER to see the small diameter of leggings as opposed to the pizza pan sized legs of some of the pants.

Today is son #1's 18th birthday. I haven't gotten him anything yet. We are stumped. He's not happy with us either. He wants a new phone, but that seems so lame these days. Maybe just throw a wad of cash at him.........

I guess I'm just in a funk.......and I need HELP WITH cute people! Cute birthday ideas, cute clothes...........sigh.

I'm off to more stores to see if I can find tee shirts with nothing on them. Good luck, me.

Bye for now!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Insert Cutsie Title

I've got NUTTIN today folks.....I'm just not FEELIN' the mojo.

Mister Perfectly's beautiful Grandma Roles passed away Tuesday morning. Unfortunately, over the last several years we've not had much contact with his extended family. Mr. P had a difficult childhood. That's all I'm going to say. His Grandma was a glorious ray of sunshine for him....she was warm, loving, and giving. He has NOTHING but fond, loving memories of her. She was a talented artist, and a school teacher for most of her life. She was kind and patient. His Grandad passed several years ago, and that was the last time we saw Grandma. She was put into a nursing home right after grandad's death, and that's the last place we saw her. She was beginning to not remember people, but for much of our visit, she know Mr. P and understood that the children were his....Her GREAT grandchildren....we took photos, and our boys will have a very nice memory.

My family is much different. We are all up in each other's kool aid on a regular basis. We talk frequently, and everyone knows everything. We are close and happy. I would NEVER not see my family for years and years. Granted, with the passing of my Maternal Grandmother, we have not travelled to Iowa. I feel TERRIBLY guilty about this......and keep thinking I will rectify it. My mom has come here a couple of times, and I am eternally grateful to her for those trips.

Anyway, Mr. P is now on his way to Kansas to a funeral. One that I sorrowfully could not attend as well. Son #2 has a game today in Hannibal, MO, and it would be unfair (in our minds) to pull him out of his favorite sport AGAIN (remember, he's been out with injuries twice this season) to travel for a family that he truly doesn't know well. He loves Mr. P's sisters and mom, but still does not really KNOW them........this is partially our fault. With the fact we weren't aware Grandma was sick and would possibly pass, we just decided with the animals, and kids, it would be easier to have me stay here and mind the farm, so to speak, and have Mr. P head on to be with his family. He will be a pallbearer.

This trip will be hard for Mr. P. He dearly loved his grandma---she was a very stable part of his young life. He doesn't do well with sadness, funerals, being social and all the stuff people must do in these situation. That is MY job....I'm the buffer...the chatty Cathy.....he gets to stay out of the way and in the shadows.....so besides his sadness, he'll also have all the crap he HATES to deal with.....I worry.

On a different note, the puppy is great. He's very cute. VERRRYYYYY cute. He's pretty well behaved, and has not had too many potty accidents...he's been going outside pretty well for a baby puppy......he's had 2 pee pee accidents on the floor and he tends to dribble when coming out of his cage...because he's excited. He had one pee pee in his cage itself, but other than that ....oh, and a mystery something in the hallway---it could have been puppy poo, or it could have been cat puke.......all I know is that it was soft and cold when my bare foot made contact with it. BLECH.

I'd like to think he's really smart. He's been pottying outside quite a bit. He is quiet. He drops things when we say 'NO', he knows where his food bowl is, were the toys are, where his favorite laps are....he knows how to use his doggy stairs (both up and down).....and to date, he's not barked one time. He whines and sounds like a Goose, but he doesn't bark. Yet. He runs around all floppy like a puppy does and charms the pants off of everyone.

I'd also like to mention that I'm an AWESOME cook.....With football in full swing, and Son #2 not getting home til 6:30 most nights, and having games once a week, we've become quite the fast food eaters. It's kind of gross. Even my kids who say they love fast food are SICK OF IT.

Since Mr. P had to leave, and Son #2 had a game (he likes to eat lots of carbs), I made a pasta dish...Shrimp Fra Diavolo. Hell YES it was good!! Mr. P had this at BRAVO! last week.......and it was very good. I scoured the internet looking for recipes and true to Perfectly nature, I took components of several recipes that I liked and made my OWN up........the sauce at BRAVO! was slightly creamy, and all recipes I saw was for tomato sauce only....so I kicked it up and it was sooo good. TRY IT. It is SUPER easy......

1/8 c olive oil
1/2 SMALL onion (1/4 large) diced
1 shallot diced
5 cloves of garlic GRATED (smash it and make a paste if you don't have a grater)
2t (more to taste) red chili flakes
1t dried basil
1t dried parsley
1T salt
several grinds of fresh black pepper
2 14 (or 15) oz cans diced fire roasted tomatoes (blended til smooth)
1 14 oz can tomato sauce
1/2-3/4 c dry white wine
2 lbs med shrimp (or whatever size you like)
1 lb pasta
1/2 pint of heavy cream

saute the onion and shallot in oil. Grate the garlic directly into the oil after onions are translucent. Saute for just a minute. Add all spices and stir into oil, onion mixture----cook just for another 30 seconds or so. Add tomatoes and tomato sauce......cook til bubbly. Cook for about 10 minutes....add your shrimp ( I de-tailed mine for ease of eating......most restaurants leave the shrimp with tails on). Cook til shrimp are done (while simultaneously cooking pasta).

Add cream to sauce, and wait til you reach a simmer. DON'T BOIL HARD, OR CREAM WILL BURN. Add your sauce to pasta, and top with fresh parsley and freshly grated parm cheese.

OMG...it is so good. there was quite a bit of shrimp, so you can back off of it if you want to.......my boys love shrimp, hence the extra pound I added.

You could use lobster meat, clams or other seafood you love.

The sauce was spicy, creamy and luxurious. I highly recommend it.


I used some of my allowed bereavement leave to help Mr. P prepare to leave. There was alot to do....I wish I could continue it on through tomorrow. I will worry about him until he returns. He's got an 8 hr trip into Kansas, plus the funeral and the 8 hour trip back. Physically and emotionally draining for him, be sure of that. I'm sure my coworkers are talking about me behind my back for using paid leave when I can't attend the funeral itself. That's how my office rolls....they don't take into consideration that maybe, just maybe, I might be grieving in my own way----and that I'm worried sick about Mr. P. It much more fun to gossip and talk trash than try to UNDERSTAND how people may feel.

Toodles for now people. Try the pasta....let me know if you like it.......it was AWESOME in my book!!!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Dex---updated

Well, Dex visted the Vet today--he is 5.6 lbs (I was WAYYYY off), and Brian (the vet) thinks he's more like 4 MONTHS OLD, not 7 or 7 and a half. He's just losing his inscisors, which is indicative of approximately a 4 month old puppy.

His heart/lungs are good...no fleas (Thank goodness).......he was given his vaccinations (since there was no papers on the dog to prove he'd already had them) and he was de-wormed (even though the people said they'd wormed him).....just to be safe. Brian said it would not HURT him to repeat stuff, so better safe than sorry.

He can't get neutered until he's 6 months old MINIMUM, so based on his guessed age, we'll be waiting a couple of months. He's crashed on the chair.......poor baby is TIRED...it's tough being a dog!!

He doesn't want to eat.......but the practical advice we ALWAYS get from our down home Vets is good........he'll eat when he's hungry--don't coax him, or try to feed him soft food.....he'll soon learn that dinner time is just that and he'll need to eat. Brian felt like there was little chance of him suffering ill effects learning a feeding schedule. 3x a day for the first couple of months, then back off to two times a day----dachshunds are a breed that can get tubby, so he thinks setting a schedule now will benefit us later.......

He's so freaking ADORABLE, that I can hardly STAND IT. He's snuggly and warm, and right now VERY QUIET and sweet. I know, I know....he'll grow out of that really quickly.......he'll be just as loopy and barky as the other two as time goes on!! Buster doesn't want to get his photo taken with the baby----so I'm having trouble guaging his SIZE for you;....he's itty bitty!!!

I'll work on that......





Monday, October 6, 2008

Honeymoon period

Hi!! What did Y’ALL do this weekend? I had a GLORIOUS weekend---I got to watch son #2’s football game, went to the OLDE TYPE APPLE FESTIVAL with Teenie, assisted (sort of) with Son #1’s getting ready for Homecoming, went to a swap meet, got a puppy, got lots of fun stuff at the apple festival (honey, hummingbird feeders, etc)……The weather was GORGEOUS, and it was tons of fun.

So Saturday rolled around, and we were all quite excited about Son #2’s game. Grandparents came to watch—the weather was nice…and the kids WON!! I didn’t think Teenie would be able to go to the Apple Festival with me since homecoming festivities were on for her son’s school (and my son’s school). As it turned out, we WERE able to go for a couple of hours. We wandered around aimlessly STARVING and looking for food. We stopped at a greek vendor with all sorts of awesome looking food on display. We each got a chicken pita (at $8 a pop) and went on our merry way, eating our greek food. It was NASTY. We’ve got greek restaurants around here, and I’ve eaten Greek food before….it’s highly flavorful, and YUMMY. This was bland and gristly---nothing worse, in my opinion, than fatty, gristly chicken. It wasn’t flavorful, and even the Tzatziki sauce was not much more than just plain yogurt. We found the nearest dumpster and wasted our food. And our money. I bought a cute hummingbird feeder, and some Raspberry/Jalapeno flavored honey, as well as the dark fall honey (a huge bottle of it). We tried a homemade sugar scrub, and the man who makes it took the liberty of rubbing lotion onto our arms……..that was a bit weird. We saw the COOLEST ceramic garlic graters. It’s a little ceramic plate with a rough texture at the bottom of the plate, where you rub your garlic, or ginger, or zests to grate them. It came with a little brush to gather it all up with….it was REALLY neat…..and $20…….so we skipped it, but if they have this dealie at other festivals, I’m going to buy it….it was just TOO cool. You could also grate dry stuff like nutmeg, chocolate and nuts. AND it was cute.

Teenie called me early in the evening to tell me that her EX had been at a swap meet in Versailles (yes, it’s really called VerSales) after going to the festival himself, and there were tons of animals. I had a lightbulb moment, sort of……a co-worker of mine told me about an ‘animal swap meet’ that happens each year in that area. People bring every type of animal imaginable (well, not EVERY kind, but a lot) and their junk, and set up shop for a weekend of low end garage sale stuff and animal bartering. Teenie’s ex said that they had chihuahua’s AND dachshunds……for like $50.

Well, Mr. Perfectly and I were up with the roosters yesterday morning. Well, I was up…I just couldn’t sleep. I got up at 6:30, showered and headed to Wal-Mart to buy my poor kids deodorant….they’ve been out and using Mr. Perfectly’s and that really sort of grosses us out……..I was home y 7:45 and Mr. Perfectly was begrudgingly up, and we headed to the final day of the Versailles Swap Meet. The swap meet is a 4 day long event that occurs twice a year……..and it’s a sight to behold, that’s for sure.

Mr. P took his camera, but he didn’t take any photos. I wish he would have, though. I’ve never really seen anything like this before. There were pigeons, guineas, chickens, geese, goats, rabbits, dogs, LLAMAS, turkeys…….and some pretty sorry looking folk with a bunch of JUNK selling it. It was like a huge barn and garage sale. It was sort of scary and surreal. I asked some lady if she’d seen any dachshund puppies for sale (we’d found the Chihuahua puppies, but they were flea infested……a fact she didn’t tell me until AFTER I’d held and loved on them….even today, I feel creepy crawlies on me) . She’d SEEN puppies being carried around, but didn’t know where they were being sold----we drove to the camper down the way and found 4 dachshund dogs. 2 adults and 2 babies.

Well, we couldn’t resist, and ended up buying one of the cute puppies for $30 (the Sunday discounted price…down from $50). He’s absolutely adorable, and his name is Dex. The crazy lady that had him says he’s 7 and a half months old, but I am doubting her accuracy. He’s a miniature dachshund, but still he only weighs probably 4 lbs TOPS……maybe he is that old, but I’m taking him to the vet today to make sure there are no worms, fleas and to see how hold he really is. HE’S ADORABLE.

The lady selling the pups wasn’t quite right. She toddled up to us with her Pentecostal bun in complete disarray and acted like they were her precious pets, yet indicated that they lived in kennels outside. She didn’t HAVE inside dogs. She told us about the baby daddy (who was in the cage next to them) named Jimmy Dean---she said Jimmy Dean spent his days wagging his tail against the kennel wires, and constantly knocked the hair off of his tail, so they docked the babies tails when they were born. WTF? Who docks a dachshund tail? They didn’t even dock it ‘correctly’….usually docked tails are nothing but a little round nub above the butt----but this tail is maybe 2 inches long…….so he has enough tail to tuck down….we just handed her the $30 and took off with Dex……I think he already realizes it’s better in the house than outside.

Oh, here are some pictures.






Oh, and here is a sign that you see (billboard) coming into Versailles. This is a community with a large Mennonite population, so one sees scripture signs at EVERY turn….at every driveway…..on billboards. It’s a very heavy influence….but still….does nobody but me and Mr. Perfectly see the sheer MADNESS of this particular sign? I think some of my co-workers were offended that I saw such humor in a scripture.


Anyway---that is my weekend fun…..what did YOU do?

Happy Monday---I’ll let you all know the stats on Dex when I see the vet……..by for now!!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Yer Darn Right, Dontcha Know!!!

Wink, Wink.

I’m all for folksy, people….really. I live in a folksy part of the world---I kind of enjoy country euphemisms, and the fun way people get their points across. I often use improper ‘lingo’ when trying to illustrate the absolute RURALNESS of where I live….despite the fact it’s a Capitol City (or is it Capital? I never get that one right-------someone smart, weigh in on that for me).

But for God’s sakes…..the first wink and the first Soccer Mom reference in last night’s debate set me off----it actually insulted me. I’m a middle class American…..I’m an athletic supporter (haha….get the joke…….hahaha-------), I have teenagers, I worry about paying for college, ALL the things Sarah Palin tried to say made she and I ALIKE…..But talk to me like an adult…..not like a farmer over the back 40 fence.

In actuality, her demeanor didn’t allow me to truly HEAR what she had to say…….I tried, I REALLY tried….but I can’t think of ANYTHING that I really remember that she said that sticks out in my mind. I was insulted and felt like she was trying to be someone she’s NOT to ‘appeal’ to the ‘average’ American.

I don’t’ know may average Americans that WINK in general conversation. It was Friggin’ Absurd!! (wink, wink)

Ok, enough of my un-educated political talk……..

I am disappointed, Internet Friends. There is a HUGE Festival tomorrow. HUGE. It’s the Olde Tyme Apple Festival in Versailles (pronounced VerSales, for you French enthusiasts). It’s supposed to be 75 and SUNNY…..a beautiful festival day. But, son #2 has a game at 11. I so want to see him play---so I’ll go to the game, HAPPILY as a matter of fact……but there’s that little selfish corner of my brain that wishes the game were another day so I could FESTIVAL………it makes me feel like a bad mom to be disappointed to miss the festival…..I wouldn’t THINK of missing his game, but I wish there was (or is it were?) a way to do both.

I didn’t get a SINGLE comment yesterday (oops, now I,ve gotten one!! Thanks Tawny!!). I’m really sad……I need some serious advice about the dog situation. TALK ME OUT OF IT PEOPLE!!! Dash is just too cute to pass up!! The rescue group is coming through my city on Wednesday and said they’d bring him…………HELLLLPPPPPPP.

Mr. Perfectly noticed yesterday that CRISSY is in 2nd place for the ‘Hottest Mommy Blogger”---Y’all may get your wish of seeing her nekkid on the internet! Keep voting and help me WIN the sweepstakes!!!

Happy Friday!!!!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Bravo!!

The freshman boys lost. 17 to 6. Personally I consider that a success, since our JV team was beaten by the Rockhurst JV team 63-0 on Monday. So, the freshman keeping the score a tad lower and at least SCORING was quite a success in my book!! Son #2 sadly didn’t get to play—I guess his lumbar injury and being forced to not practice for 8 days hurt his standing on the team. He only got one full practice day (Monday) and the light practice that they do for pre-game (Tuesday). He wasn’t happy about not playing either.

I possibly had one of the best restaurant meals EVER last night. Now, please realize that I don’t live in an area with fine dining. I doubt I’ve ever been to a TRULY fine dining establishment---well, maybe once on the “HILL” in St. Louis……but seriously..I’ve been to some nicer places in my life, and I do very much enjoy good food, but I strongly suspect I don’t KNOW good food. My budget is not a ‘fine dining’ budget and around here, if it’s not fried and smothered in gravy, then it’s not worth eating. We live in a very meat and potatoes community.

I am accustomed to a decent Italian place around here, but it’s predictable and reliable. It’s one of the ‘nicer’ places in town. When we go out of town, we do try to go to nicer places, too, but obviously, not on a $150 per person price tag…….

Anyway, Rockhurst High School is on the state line of Kansas and Missouri. We got in quite early, and perused over to the Overland Park, Kansas area to shop. We found an ‘upper’ shopping area---at least stores we don’t have around here. Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, Williams Sonoma. I’ve never been to ANY of these stores……..if it’s not Dillards, JC Penney or Sears, we don’t got it around here. Oh, or Wal Mart. If we go to the Lake of the Ozarks, there is an outlet mall with some specialty type shops, but still nothing on the line of Williams Sonoma.

We saw Dean and Deluca, and I’ve heard the Martha Stewart Wanna Be in our office talk about Dean and Deluca, but was not POSITIVE what it was. I thought they specialized in gourmet items, but the establishment LOOKED like a restaurant. At the football game, we decided to try them for dinner since they were close. Well, for those of you not in the know (like us) Dean and Deluca DOES sell sandwich-ish foods, and you can eat there, but it apparently (according to Perfectly’s dad) is more of a gourmet grocery. Since we wanted dinner and not sandwiches (even if gourmet) we left and started driving around the high end shopping area. There were a couple of places, but nothing that looked awesome, and suddenly we saw an Italian place. We all LOVE Italian, and decided to give it a shot. It was a chain (which Perfectly’s dad generally HATES), called BRAVO! Cucina Italiana.

I ordered the Grilled Georges Bank Scallops “sea scallops grilled and served on a bed of spinach Ricotta gnocchi, roasted sweet potatoes and sherry lobster sauce”

I chose this dish because I’d never eaten gnocchi. I’ve wanted to TRY it for ages, and have been too chicken to make it myself, and OMG……was it good.

Their prices were reasonable (my large, rich scallop dish was $18.99), and the food was quite good. They had $2 off martini’s too! I also know this isn’t ‘fine’ dining, but it certainly was good dining! And I now know I love gnocchi.

Lastly, I need advice. From ALL OF YOU that read me…..you know the 5’s of you!! Mr. Perfectly and I are waffling on a puppy. Specifically THIS puppy. Should we or shouldn’t we? Remember, we’ve got a houseful now. His name is DASH.

He's a Dachshund/Chihuahua mix. Approx. 12 weeks old.



Happy Thursday, my gnocchi loving friends!!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Hannibal Lecter

My poor baby, Buster, has an injured leg. He hops along about 2/3rds of the time on 3 legs and his left front leg, up and dangling. He lets us manipulate it, and feel it, and he doesn’t cry, but we don’t know WHY he seems to hurt. He RUNS like crazy after squirrels in the backyard, but hip hops through the house.

I finally took him to the Vet on Monday afternoon. I warned him (the Vet) that Buster can snap sometimes (one time, I thought he was going to take the hand off a vet who was giving him shots……..he may be small, but he bites HARD when he wants to). This was a new veterinarian that I’d never met. He joined a practice of 3 other vets that I’ve seen for years….they are down to earth, and not ‘doctor-ish’ at all….they are practical, and less expensive than many local vets.

I also knew Buster needed vaccinations---it had been (cough) 2 years, so since we were THERE, I figured it was a good idea. I also asked for some sort of sedative for poor Copper to come get HIS overdue shots as well….because the poor dog HATES to ride in the car….so we have half of a pink happy pill for him…….he’ll have no idea what hit him……..poor stupid pup……

ANYWAY…..I told New Vet that Buster can be snappy---Buster was obviously scared, and didn’t seem snappy, but the vet was all on pins and needles anyway (the man puts his whole arm in cow’s butts……why would the mere THREAT of a little dog snapping make him so jumpy??). He asked me if we should muzzle Buster, and I reluctantly told him it may not be a bad idea, especially since we needed to administer shots.

New Vet went to a cabinet and pulled out a leather muzzle and affixed it to poor Busters schnozz, and I swear people, he looked like THIS:




He sort of got that crazed look in his eyes, and tried to use his paws to pull it off---he even cried…like it hurt. He didn’t growl or snap ONE TIME (good boy!!)—I took the muzzle off once we were done, and put him on the floor, and he jumped and slammed himself into me (wanting to be picked up), and the New Vet insulted my intelligence by telling me that maybe Buster was ‘seeking attention’ around the house by holding his paw up…….

So the vet visit was a bust, and I now totally regret not taking the camera so we could get pictures of little Hannibal………the resemblance was striking!

We are off to Kansas City today for a football game. The freshman boys play against the toughest opponents in the state---KC Rockhurst. My cute cousin and her kids and husband may come to watch, which will be fun!! They live across the state line into Kansas, so it’s a little bit of a trip for them as well, but it’s a chance to get together for a little while. Perfectly’s dad is going, so it will be a nice family day. Except it’s on a WEDNESDAY, and the taking off work early, and leaving town and stuff makes it seem like a FRIDAY, and it isn’t. Tomorrow morning will be SUCH a bummer.

Toodles for now. Everyone have an AWESOME hump day!!