Thursday, July 31, 2008


My new Breezies Solid Support bra with Ultimair!!! I've got it on already. I couldn't wait. It definately is full coverage, but not as 'brunhilda-ish' as some people acted like in their reviews. Apparently these are women who have boobs that fit and look perky in any ole' piece of cloth. Mine need heavy duty help.

I must say, so far, I'm a little disappointed. Just a little. It's not as IRON CLAD as I'd hoped, and although it fits comfortably, I'm not so sure the support is what I hoped it would be. I hoped it would be like the reviews........US Troop armor or something. So far (so far....) they aren't pooching out of the bottom OR the top....which is nice. I usually pooch out of one or the other--the loosy goosy one I had on today, the wanted to pop out the BOTTOM. Often, they bulge at the top.

I'M GOING OUT TO EAT WITH TEENIE tonight. I'm so excited. Her mom is out of the hospital and is doing better---at least not near death, so I haven't seen her in AGES. I'll show her the bra(jealous Stoogie??) and get her opinion.

I have a dilemma. My bra didnt' arrive by the estimated delivery date. So I called QVC and the customer service lady told me that if it hadn't arrived by the 31st, that they'd replace it. I got home at 1 pm this afternoon to take son #2 to register for his FRESHMAN YEAR....and got the mail. No Breezies Bra. I immediately called the QVC lady again, and she apologized and told me that my gargantuan sized bra was on 'wait list' and she'd credit our account the 30 dollars and change. She said we'd see the refund on the credit card in a few days and they'd call me for sure before they sent out another one when they got the back order in. She said that this bra may show up eventually. I asked her what I should do if it DOES show up, and she said just call them with the info.

Well, apparently I or someone in my family didn't get the mail yesterday, and the mail I got at 1pm was YESTERDAY'S mail. The mailman didn't show up until 6 pm this evening. 6 O'CLOCK. What the heck kind of mailman shows up at 6??? So here I got my bra by the day they thought it would be delivered (at the latest) and a credit coming on the credit card.

Do I be honest and let them know so I can not feel guilty for the rest of my life for stealing a Breezies Bra from QVC? Or do I take the booty and RUN and let the boobs stand HIGH in their theiving ways?

I'll give you my decision later after nachos and margaritas.

My baby is in HIGH SCHOOL. He's scrimmaging the SOPHOMORES at football practice tonight. He's one of the guys that TACKLES people, so he could get hurt. The coaches get really TURNED ON by the kids that HIT HARD. It's disturbing. One coach told my sweet blond baby "THAT'S how we f'ing HIT". MY BABY!! They told him this while grabbing his helmet and screaming it at him. And this was PRAISE!!! For the way he HIT other boys!!! It seems really perverted to me.....they should be explaining how to SHARE the ball, and to have EQUAL playing time.....RIGHT?

Ok, nachos and margaritas are eaten and drunk (or is it drank??). It was AWESOME to hang out with Teenie again. She has had such a stressful 6 weeks or so, and it was great to laugh and visit for a while. SHE liked the bra.........I flashed her to get her opinion.

We went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream after nachos and margaritas, and there were two kids (high school looking) sitting in the back of a pickup truck with music stands, guitars, and banjos. They were singing FOLK was nearly too funny to sit through without laughing. They were so earnest. And it was so......folksy........Only in my community can you eat nachos, have margarita night, and get folk music with ice cream. AhHhhh.....small town living.

Blue Oyster Cult is supposedly playing at our county Fair tomorrow night (or is it Sat. night). I need to research the music. It may be worth fighting the Rowdy Set to see. It's supposed to be oppressively hot tomorrow, so I doube I'd really do that, but Hey.....we'll have to see!

Well, I'm tired (it's almost 11....whew), off to beddie bye.


Monday, July 28, 2008

And the WINNER is.......

The digital SLR camera. Yep. Mr. Perfectly and I went out and bought it Friday night with the BB gift card. He hasn't been able to use it alot, because the humidity and heat is so OUT OF CONTROL that every time wants to use the camera outside (which is most of the time) it fogs up......Seriously, the humidity is disgusting. He's trying to get shots of son #2's 2nd week of football camp, but isn't having any luck.

I really don't have much to report--we had a pretty quiet for son #2 getting stung by a wasp on his LIP......yes, his LIP.....I couldn't reach anyone.....and he has major allergies, so I was waiting for his airway to close or something equally as terrible. Luckily, nothing happened, except his lip was all swollen and fat......of course we were at the farm, and no benedryl to be FOUND. WE just iced it, and that seemed to work.

I had a benedryl hangover this morning. As soon as we got to the farm yesterday, my allergies kicked into overdrive. I went home and made some FABULOUS pasta for dinner, and was STILL an allergic mess. Finally, Perfectly's dad, who came over for dinner, said "WHY don't you TAKE something for that". So I guess my snot and sneezing got pretty annoying. I took two benedryl, and like the lightweight I am, fell asleep in my chair (there's a recurring theme, here), and stumbled off to bed again before 9 pm. I woke up with the alarm, and thought "no way"....told Mr. Pefectly goodnight again, and promptly went back to sleep. I called my boss and told her in my own slurring way that I'd taken some benedryl, and would be coming in LATER. I felt like I should be in a commercial moaning "I took some benedryl, and I CAN'T GET UP". HAHAHA.

I got some ringtones this weekend. I've had a cellphone for nearly 10 years, and have resisted the urge for cutsey ring tones, but with my new found love for the Kid Rock song, "All Summer Long", I was bound and determined to try to get that as a ringtone. Welllllllll.........the ringtones sites RIP YOU OFF and make you pay something like $10 a MONTH for that way. We already have high cell phone plans as it is....I don't need additional charges. So, I went to Sprint, and they had a free ringtone I purchased "Father Figure" by George Michael to use on my incoming calls from Perfectly's Dad. I know that the song isn't actually about someone's dad....and in fact, depending on how one would INTERPRET that song, it could be about something LESS THAN proper.......but since I'm a total 80's girl, and I like that song, it will be just fine for me to hear George Michael when Daddy calls.

Then, I got the COOLEST ringtone for my kid's incoming calls. Again, you must remember that I'm an 80's girl, thru and thru. I got "Sweet Child of Mine" by Guns-n-Roses........isnt' that CUTE? I paid for that ringtone, though. But it was only $2.50 for unlimited use instead of disgustingly high rates for a service. I'm always amazed, when listening to Guns-n-Roses how awesome Axl's voice is. If he'd just quit SCREECHING all the time.

I'm thinking of getting "Red Red Wine" by UB 40 for Teenie's ringtone. But, they didn't have my Kid Rock song that I desperately want. I need a fun, song for Mr. Perfectly...does anyone have any ideas?

You want to know what his ringtone for me is? Betcha can't guess. I nearly cried when I heard it......cause he's so sweet.....he's sort of the romantic in this twosome. I'm not so much. But anyway...his ringtone for me is "You Are So Beautiful" You know, by Joe Cocker? yea....he's that kind of guy.....

When we were dating, and I weighed 100 lbs, he used to say he noticed my 'smile' first (yea, right)....and I'd laugh and ask him what he'd do if I ever got 'fat'. At one point, his 19 yr old self told me that he'd probably leave me if I got fat. Of course when one weighs 100 lbs and has a 23 in waist, one doesn't ever THINK that would be a real scenario in life. Well 100 lbs LATER in life, when I bring this up, he pooh pooh's me away and tells me very lovingly that he was just 19 when he said that and that (get this, girls) "I married you for YOU, not the package you are in".

Isn't that the sweetest?

So, I need an equally loving ringtone for him, that I can get on for a one time fee, and that is fun loving, too. I'm not all that mushy. I'm accepting ideas as of NOW. Keep it clean, Stoogie!! (smile) Although, there IS that Billy Squire song that we liked back in the day...........

My bra hasn't arrived yet. I can assure all of you that I will NOT be posting photos and/or videos. Sure, there's more fabric on that bra than on most junior sized swimsuits, but still...........the full coverage, cone shaped-ness of it all will remain mine to describe, not show.

I'm catching up on my television that I missed last I'll end with my FABULOUS pasta recipe:

Penne with peas and bacon

1 lb penne pasta cooked al dente
1 lb bacon, crumbled and cooked til very crisp (reserve about 1/3 of remaining grease)
1 small onion, diced
2 cloves garlic diced or grated
1 28 oz can of petite diced tomatoes
1 28 oz can of tomato sauce
1 10 oz pkg of frozen peas
1/3 c fresh basil, or 1 T dried basil (to taste)
3 T fresh parsley or 1 T dried (to taste)
2T sugar
1T Franks Hot sauce
1/2 c red wine

Cook bacon til very crisp, and discard much of the grease, leaving about 1/3 of total quantity

Cook onions and garlic in bacon fat
add spices, sugar and hot sauce and cook for about 1 minute
add wine to deglaze pan if necessary...cook another minute or so
add tomatoes and tomato sauce. cook until hot. Simmer about 15 minutes.

Add peas to sauce, and cook for another 4-5 minutes or so.

serve sauce over penne pasta and top with parm cheese and crispy bacon. You've got your full dinner......pasta AND veg in one. You'll look like a HERO.....bacon fat makes EVERYTHING taste good.


Friday, July 25, 2008

Introducing Arch

Ok, I felt very uncomfortable referring to my good friend from my teen years as 'boy' or 'the boy'. The post started out with just a mention of him, and turned out to be ABOUT him!! At the TIME he was a boy--and I wanted him for a BOY friend.....hence the boy reference, which didn't work although I don't have much occasion to talk about him publicly, I'll introduce him as ARCH.

The basis of his name isn't hard to figure out, especially if you read my comments...hint hint. But suffice it to say, it works much better.

So, Arch, if you are reading this, let me know.........I'm thinking of posting wedding photos, and your 90210 self may make an appearance........Our anniversary is soon, and I'm all nostalgic.

Oh, I meant to tell you all, I ordered a bra....FROM QVC!!! I'm worried, because after I ordered it I read customer reviews of it, and they say it's a little cone like and the cups are BIG.....well, I've never run into the too big cup situation, and cone-ish boobs don't sound, internet, I am worried. I have no luck posting links from QVC, but it's the BREEZIES Solid support bra with ULTIMAIR lining. And speaking of bras, I read this, and am worried even MORE!! DAMAGED BREASTS!!

I never wear sports bras for the smoosh and support factor (and the fact I'm not very 'sporty'), but still....what if I've damaged them??

The internet is a fabulous tool, but sometimes, I think ignorance is bliss.......who wants to think about irreparably damaged BOOBS?

Two posts on this fine Friday..........aren't you all lucky?

Pity Party---Part Deux

Ok…..Mr. Perfectly was a PRINCE last night. We didn’t end up cooking anything because Son #2 wanted Chinese food. Our Hy-Vee has a Chinese food bar, which Mr. Perfectly and Son #2 love. Me? Not so much. But since there’s a PIZZA HUT near Hy-Vee….my dinner last night consisted of Cheese Breadsticks with sauce. And 3 glasses of wine. 3 people. I’m a lightweight.

Mr. Perfectly ran around and collected all the food, and even crisped up my cheesey bread sticks for me when they were still kind of doughy on the bottom. He was very attentive, and filled my glass at every opportunity.

There was NOTHING on the tee-vee, and I hadn’t gotten any more COMMENTS from my post, so I looked at the DVR to see what we’d recorded. Mr. Perfectly went to Best Buy to blow his $900 wad, and Son #2 drove him (since he’s got his permit, he wants to drive us everywhere). I found an episode of ‘Paranormal Kids” or whatever it’s called on A&E, and started watching it. I saw the introduction of the kids they were featuring, and the very next thing I knew, I heard the door opening, and the guys returning. WTF? I’d fallen asleep---SOUNDLY. At least I didn’t drool.

So, at 8:45, I toddled off to bed. IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE.

That, Internet, was my pity party. It was actually quite nice, and the fact that Mr. Perfectly came through and made me the princess, made my day. I was ticked off that there was not a THING on television, though.

Yesterday, I thought a lot about my pity party. I really have no reason for a pity party. I do have awesome friends and they can’t help it if they have stuff happening in their lives……I’m sure I’m not as attentive to them as I need to be sometimes either.

I sent an email to a childhood friend, and it made me realize how lucky I am to have the friends I do----Actually, I’ve known this friend since I was 14. The 14 year old Perfectly was BOY CRAZY, and this particular boy was the focus of my crazy. All through high school, I made it my GOAL to date this boy. I chased him relentlessly. I sort of feel bad, now, because I really didn’t leave him alone much…….but anyway…he lived in a different town than me, and I used EVERY opportunity available to me to see him. My very brief stint with Church related activities was youth group stuff, primarily to SEE HIM. It was quite the sad display. I hope God isn’t mad at me for using Church to see this boy.

Now mind you, I looked NOTHING like the Perfectly you see today. I was actually kind of cute. This boy reciprocated my chasing of him ON OCCASION. Just enough to keep me interested, I guess. Anyway, we never really had a major relationship…..alot of flirting and some really nice long talks. He probably doesn’t remember this, but we agreed that if we weren’t married by the time we were 40 we’d get married and live in New York. The one thing that I’ll NEVER forget is that he came to my high school graduation. He didn’t have to, he just did, and he surprised me with it. I think I was preparing to go out and probably had a date, but Boy, if you ever read this, that made a HUGE impact on me, even if I didn’t show it then.

When I met Mr. Perfectly, he didn’t like this boy AT ALL. They’d never met, but apparently my years long obsession with the boy didn’t set well with Mr. Perfectly. I talked to this boy on and off, and we maintained a friendship. He was dating someone else, I was dating someone else, but Mr. Perfectly still didn’t approve.

Then came wedding plans for me and Mr. Perfectly. I wanted the boy to be an usher in our wedding. This was an affront to Mr. Perfectly’s sensibilities……..this PERSON I’d pursued much of my young life to be IN OUR WEDDING? I suggested they meet. We met in a local Mexican restaurant, and lo and behold? They hit it off like GANGBUSTERS. Suddenly the boy was ‘OUR’ friend, and he was welcome to be in our wedding. I of course was thrilled. He was an usher (along with my brother), and he looked very handsome in his tux and 90210 hair (Boy, if you are reading this, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN).

Over the years, we kept in touch on and off. He moved to a big city, and I was jealous of the cool, jet-setting big city life. He often commented that my quiet, married life with kids was appealing.

For several years, we lost touch---I contacted him when Ph.D was moving to his city---and we connected once again. We talk via email regularly, and have even had the opportunity to see each other---which was really nice. His parents and sisters live closer to me, but he’s FAR away.

So, I guess the point of all of this is that I may think I’m clingy and needy, BUT I’ve managed to keep friends from my childhood---Ph.D and I have been together since we were 11---she’s the closest thing to a sister I have. I have this boy—that I probably annoyed all to hell when we were teenagers, and he’s still my friend—and Mr. Perfectly’s too. It’s pretty lucky that I can say I have the same friends I had 30 years ago. I have 2 awesome friends from more recent times, but still long-termers……many years……none of them have dumped me yet, so I guess I should be counting my lucky stars instead of holding a private pity party……..

And now, I have all of YOU, internet……….so, the Princess treatment and 3 glasses of wine apparently worked, because I’m in a much better frame of mind today.

I need a better pseudonym for ‘Boy’ since that isn’t very politically correct……so if he or anyone can think of a better one, let me know…I don’t even know if he reads my blog…….

Oh, and I am also lucky to be close to my parents and brother. Until 18 months ago, I had 3 living grandparents. My lovely maternal grandmother has since passed, but both maternal grandparents are alive and kicking……..not a bad feat to be 42 and still can talk to my grandma and grandpa, huh?

Thanks for putting up with me, internet.


Thursday, July 24, 2008

Pity Party

I need a friend, Internet. I don’t have a large circle of friends. I have 3. Jakki, Teenie and Ph.D. I guess I haven’t called Ph.D. but she’s so busy with her work, I feel guilty bothering her.

See…..everyone seems to have stuff going on in their lives, and it doesn’t include me. I try TRY TRY to be a good friend, and I try to be understanding and compassionate, but sometimes I get my feelings hurt. Sometimes I want to stomp my feet and say ‘HEY….I have a stake in this friendship too, and I need you.’ I skirt around it sometimes, but never am brave enough to really say it. Nothing I’m dealing with is life threatening or really all that important. Things just bug me and I would LOVE to gripe and complain and be met with a chorus of “Oh no she d’int”, or “I can’t BELIEVE IT”…OR “you poor baby’ or make a joke or something. Not ignoring my calls or plea for an ear.

I can’t tell YOU about my woes because it would break my rule of blogging about work. I blog about general things at the office, but I promised myself not to blog about work specifically. Something that could come back and bite me or impact my future.

I sort of suffer from the ‘everything is about me’ syndrome. I try very VERY hard to not fall into that trap, because despite the fact I think the world should revolve around me, I’ve come to realize in my old age that it doesn’t. Actually, very few people even CARE…………so when formulating my thoughts, I try REALLY hard to remember this. But sometimes it just doesn’t work. I want people to pay ATTENTION to me, to make me feel cared about and not stupid for letting the little things in life get to me. Instead, my woes fall on deaf ears.

Sorry Internet, you are getting the sorry side of Perfectly today. The annoying, insecure, needy side. Which I don’t even like, so if you want to close this post and ignore me today…..go right ahead, Emotionally I’ll be PISSED if you do, but logically, I can totally see why you would want to. In time my logical side usually wins out and I’ll stop the pouting.

Sorry, Ph.D….you maybe getting a ‘woe is me’ call soon.

Now, what to have for dinner tonight?

BBQ hot dogs and hamburgers?
Everyone is on their own….eat cereal for all I care….I’ll be having RUM.

You decide. My family would probably be more satisfied with options 1 and 2…… keep that in mind.

Happy Thursday.

Your party pooper,

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What is up with people?

Why do I get stuck on the CRAZY TRAIN? Huh? WHY ME?

I seem to get myself caught up in weird medical scenarios. No--no kitchen table surgeries, but I have friends and family who NEED ME to accompany them to various medical professionals. It's nice to be needed and all, but whooooo-eeeeee. Sometimes I get really weirded out.

Like the time Jakki, who is deathly afraid of dentists needed an emergency dental visit. She found an ad IN THE YELLOW PAGES for a 'pain free' dentist. Our first clue should have been that she held evening office hours. Yeah, like at night. We went into the office, and one lone voice said "be right there' and out comes who we lovingly referred to as "Amazon Woman" She took us back, and INSISTED by physically pulling up a chair into the doorway of her work space that I sit with them. She chatted all through Jakki's procedure (which was indeed, pain free) about how OSHA standards were unreasonable and she couldn't use laughing gas, about her stint in the Military, and how horribly OB/GYN doctors treated women on the base. How she obtained her Nursing degree, YADA YADA YADA. She had Jakki laid out in the chair, ASKING HER QUESTIONS with her mouth numbed and stuff in it. At some point in the monologue, she mentioned it was so nice that I came to the dentist with a scared friend and how she'd like to 'borrow' me, since she needed a friend to accompany her to OREGON for a procedure that the doctors here said she didn't need. I was NOT about to a) ask what type of procedure or b) offer my services. She did a great job on whatever Jakki was having done, but I nearly had to leave for fear of bursting out laughing--Jakki's eyes were darting around wildly, and this CRAZY, AMAZON, MILITARY, NURSE, NEEDS MEDICAL PROCEDURE woman was practicing her own MANIFESTO with us as her audience. Amazon woman had on a horrible floral skirt, and a ruffly button up top---sensible shoes and was about 6 feet tall. She was SOME kind of an ugly woman. And I dont' like to judge---despite what I may say. It was like we were being Punk'd or something. SERIOUSLY.

Ok, and before you more worldly people out there shoot your hand up in the air and in a Horseshack sort of way shout out "OH, OH, OH, I KNOW".....YYYEEEESSSS. After some time passed, we finally realized (with a little sleuthing and research), that she was Transgendered. Apparently, her stint in the service was as a MAN. Not sure when she began her dental career. Before nursing? AFter nursing? And NO WONDER she had a difficult time with her gynecologist!! Not that I have a problem with Transgendered people. Or Gay/Lesbian people. It was just sort of one of those surreal experiences that one never forgets.

Oh, speaking of Transgendered individuals....theres a girl who works in our office building that is transitioning from he to she. I ran into her today and she called me 'Sunshine'. Again, no disrespect meant, but is that a come on? Being sweet? What? I just filed it away under 'Awkward'. This girl and Jakki are fine friends. Jakki, who tries not to judge either, somehow attracts people like honey does flies. This person met me via now, I'm friends with her/him by association, I guess. She's nice enough.......and I know she takes alot of crap from people around here in these conservative parts, and that makes me feel bad, but she really needs some fashion advice. I'm certainly not one to give it, so if anyone has experience with this sort of thing, let me know. Because she, too, isn't the most attractive woman I've seen. She especially needs help with hygiene, how to carry a purse and how to walk in something other than tennis shoes. I'm accepting resumes for the job.

And then there was the time that Teenie and I nearly got kicked out of the operation holding area for being too giggly. She had to have a procedure done and I went with her to hold her hand, drive her, etc.....Doogie Howser walks in and that was it. She had a pretty shiny shower cap that she asked to keep for her scrapbook. I think they were glad to see us go.

And today, I took my niece, Heather to the doctor, and once again WEIRD. As Roseann Barr herself entered the room, we got to hear about men, and how the ankle brace she was giving Heather was so easy even a 'man' could use it. She mentioned how women don't really NEED men these days, even for sex. She referred to Heather as a klutz, and we heard the nursing staff discussing ANAL MEDS (not for Heather) in the hallway. Ummmm....TOO MUCH INFORMATION to be shared in the hallway of a public doctors office? Maybe?

Oh, and at the risk of "The lady doth protest too much", I really REALLY don't take issue with lifestyles mentioned in this blog. If you want, have had or are in the process of a sex change......that is okay by me. But because of the awkwardness of some things, it just makes folks comment harm, no foul, I guess. I was just bringing forth observations..........

Okay, we got the best buy gift card today. We are wrestling with what to do with it?

What is your vote? HONESTLY...

1) add to our computer as originally thought;
2) Mr. Perfectly get a fancy schmancy SLR camera with multiple lenses (since he ADORES photography);
3) a 37 inch flat screen new fangled tee-vee (since I ADORE tv);
4) a washer/dryer. this hasn't been discussed with Mr. PErfectly, I'm just throwing it in there since they sell appliances as well.

Hurry, Mr. Perfectly may not be able to wait to hear what y'all think, and go on and blow it on something........


Monday, July 21, 2008


Son #1 returned today from Florida. I was so excited to see him. He actually seemed pleased to be home, too.'s nice to be loved. Of course he's already out and about with friends.

I would like to reiterate ONCE AGAIN that my identification of the boys is NOT based on preference!! It's based solely on birth order. Speaking of Birth Order, I don't think I've ever told any of you before.......we lost identical twin daughters before #1 was born. In 1989. I was 5 1/2 months pregnant, and the twin pregnancy was a complicated one which resulted in loss. Please......don't be uncomfortable that I mention it. It's part of my life, and I discuss it openly. It was very sad and everything, BUT time does heal, and although we have sad memories, our lives are full and we have 2 amazing, healthy kids. I am eternally grateful for that. The first pregnancy and subsequent loss is an integral part of our lives, and I'm sure helped mold who we are.

Anyway.......I wasn't trying to be sad and morose.........I don't have tons to say tonight.......I'm just THRILLED that he's home. Here are some photos that he took while he was away. Yes, there are ALOT. Deal with it.

Here he is checking out his own tan:

Blue Eyes!!

"HEY....What YOOOUUUU Doin'?:


Too Hot TATTOO (mom eye roll):

Walking on Water:

Ok, enough of the SON #1 SHOW. If any talent agents out there agree with me that he could be the next 'IT' guy, give me a shout!!

Thanks for bearing with mom and her baby being home. Whew.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

What's Saab?

My in-laws recently bought a new toy. A pretty red convertible. Mr. Perfectly and I went to Rolla, MO to visit them today. My Mother-in-law had recent back surgery and we took roses. We went for a spin in the new TOY!!!

Now, for all of you new friends that may not have seen the few pictures of me that I have posted, I'm putting myself out here.......self consciousness and all.

Here is PRE Saab-spin:

This is post-Saab-spin:

Internet, meet HOT Mr. Perfectly. Mr. Perfectly, this is the Internet:

See, I was trying to show the 'before' hair and 'after' hair, but apparently even after riding for 20 minutes in a convertible, my already curly, frizzy hair doesn't change much. Sorry--I was hoping for the Sam Kenison my brother so kindly told me I looked like on a crazy bus in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I guess it didn't quite work this time.

So, there I am, and there Mr. Perfectly is. Neither of the boys came, since #1 is still in Florida, and #2 was with Girlfriend.

I thought about crawling around on the hood of the Saab like the White Snake video, but I was afraid it may burn me in the 95 degree Missouri then I did a Betty Boop imitation, and it just didn't turn out as planned. I saw cute and playful in my head, and in reality, it was very ROUND and I decided not to show y'all.

PSYCHE!!!!!! I will.....even though it PAINS me.....this is PERFECTLY in the ENTIRETY....and there's alot......but it's who I am, so take it or leave it:

Friday, July 18, 2008

All sorts of things that shouldn't be publicly discussed

Bras. I HATE THEM. I actually don't hate wearing them like some ladies do, but FINDING one that is inexpensive and DOES THE JOB is out of the question. "They" say that 80% of women wear the wrong size bra. I've never been professionally measured, because the shops that really know what they are doing sell bras for like $75 bucks or something. For a piece of underwear. I know...I know... I should just GET SOME and forget about the $14.99 jobbies at Wal Mart, right?

I am large breasted. Some of it is natural, and some is because of the weight I've gained over the years. I think it's safe to say, though, for my overall stature (which is small boned, but now fat), I've always had big ones. Bra needed but refused by the 5th grade. Still refused in the 6th grade, where my graduation picture has me and my NIPPLES in all their glory showing through my tube top know, the ones with a tube top over the chest, spaghetti straps that tied at the shoulders and draped below the boobs---this one was blue. It may or may not have had some type of floral pattern. When my mom told me my nipples showed, I scoffed. I thought she meant they were showing in the POINTY...I'M CHILLY sense of the word. She fussed and fussed and I fussed right back like a pre-teen should and REFUSED to wear a strapless bra. He...Hehehehehe....the joke was on ME. After I graduated from high school, my mom gave me a photo album of 'ME'..and there was a Kodak Moment. Me and my areolas for the world (and my 6th grade class) to see.

In high school, boys always looked at my chest instead of my face (and hey---I think I have pretty nice eyes). I was a tiny TINY thing back then----wearing a 'C' cup, weight 100 lbs when I graduated. But being tiny didn't mean I fit in. I was very curvy, whereas alot of my friends were slender EVERYWHERE. I had rounder hips and rear, a very small waist (23 inches at one time, I will braggingly share), and the TA TA'S.

But now that I have the teenage boys all slobbery...we'll move on 25 years. Obesity and boobs are a rough thing. They are gargantuan and pendulous........not pretty. They sadly gaze at the floor. So I need a bra that lets them stand PROUD AND TALL. They just don't exist. Some spandex and a wire just don't hold these (or lots of others) puppies up. You see all the boobs sadly dragging EVERYWHERE you go......the grocery store or wal mart. Boobs are suffering NATIONWIDE.

Is anyone out there of the larger set like me and can tell me where to get a COMFORTABLE bra that does what it should? I'll even leave pretty out of the requirements. I'll wear the biggest, baddest one out there if it makes them perky under my clothes. And the straps don't dig 1 1/2 inches into my shoulders.

I bought 2 at Wal mart--one I kept, and one is going back. The one I kept does an OKAY job, but it's torture to wear. I just changed into what I call my 'loosy goosy' one that is comfy and soft. I'll have all the people at the farmer's market looking my way wondering what in the world gravity has done to me.

Kristen talked very openly today about how toilet paper should be hung on the roll. I'm an UNDER girl, whereas most women are OVER. I thought I was an Over girl until I met Mr. Perfectly and he insisted we leave it UNDER. I let him have his way (that once), and to this day nearly 21 years later, our paper hangs under.

We have to buy cheap TP, because our plumbing can't handle the elite stuff. It doesn't break down in the pipes and we have to call the plumber and it's usually on a SUNDAY, when they charge triple their already outrageous prices. So we buy the best cheap stuff we can. And slowly, all of our stores are not carrying it. I'll have to impose on all of my internet friends to ship me SOFT-N-GENTLE when our stores completely stop. Hy vee is the only place left that carries it! YIKES!

Feet. I'm not really skeeved by my own feet, but I am sort of ambivalent about others' feet. But what do you do when you realize that your feet STINK at work? Shlepping around in the same cork soled sandals I always a co-worker leaned over to tell me something, I realized.....ewwww...something is NOT RIGHT. In closed shoes one can spray stuff or leave odor balls in them all night. How does one eliminate stinky from SANDALS??? And don't all you prissy 'perfect' types think to yourselves (*snorting*) "my feet or OTHER body parts NEVER smell badly. I'm always roses and sunshine". Cause that's CRAP.

And speaking of smelly....why is it alright for guys to fart, but if girls let one go (either accidentally or on purpose) it's taboo? I saw Dr. Oz on Oprah once, and this lady hadn't passed gas in front of her husband in the over 20 years they'd been married. He said it isn't harmful to the body, but it may be uncomfortable for the lady. Oz said no matter what, she'd just let it all out at night when she was sleeping. So, really.....what has this lady accomplished? Not gassing it up around hubby and thinking she's all prim and proper while unbeknownst to HER she's letting them ALL NIGHT LONG....and under the cover farts are the WORST.

We took a cave tour with my kids and extended family when my baby was about 2. He's now 15. He farted very loudly in the cave---so you have the ECHO....ECHO of the fart. Then this little baby voice pipes up and says " 'SCUSE ME!!!!". Again echo....echo...echo.....everyone thought he was ADORABLE. But if Big Aunt Bertha did the same thing....everyone would be horrified and talk about it for the next 11 Thanksgivings. So what gives?

Ok, I'm out for now. Gotta go get stuff for grilling tonight. Fresh hamburgers, brats and grilled veggies. YUMMY!!

Oh, I made a home-made mojito with the Mint I'm growing. It was fine, but not as spectacular as I was hoping. I'll have to perfect it. Any good tips and recipes?

It's FRIDAY!!!!!!! My FAVORITE DAY!!!!!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I’m DA (wo)MAN!!!

Ok, so the Best Buy/Geed Squad saga may actually be ending. MAYBE. I will post this, and everything will fall apart, and I’ll be forced to retract statements made in my own blog. Oh….speaking of retractions…when I was talking about Kid Rock several posts ago? Remember? Yeah, I said I was a 43 yr old mother. Well, Mr. Perfectly finally got around to reading my blogs (since we didn’t have a computer and he doesn’t deviate from WORKING at work), and left a comment which made me realize…I AM NOT 43, I AM 42. So, there, Internet, A retraction. I hope it’s the only one I’ll need to make any time soon.

So, back to Best Buy. We got the computer home on Monday, July 14th. Mr. Perfectly hooked it all up and noticed that there were 2 extra USB ports on the front of the computer. He actually noticed it at Best Buy when he picked it up, and the attendant there ASSURED him that they ALL had 4 ports….well, being an IT guy, (that’s information technology, not an ‘it’ guy), he knew that there were 3 ports in the rear of the unit and 2 in the front. He wasn’t going to argue with 2 extra ports so he brought it home. When hooking it up, he realized the 2 ‘extra’ ports were just slots for ports and they didn’t work…….so apparently the put the WRONG case to replace the damaged case of the computer unit. **sigh** . Then he spent MANY MANY hours trying to get the TV tuner card working……and despite his best efforts, it doesn’t work.

So today I got on the horn to Terry at CORPORATE BEST BUY CUSTOMER SERVICE (take THAT, Jesse), and he said he’d just see to it that we got a new computer and an extra $100 on a gift card for compensation. Mr. Perfectly had already researched new computers and their online store didn’t have anything comparable with a tv tuner card in it for what we originally paid for this one in December. Terry said what the store carries and what the online store carries can be different and he’d call me back after speaking with the local store.

I got a call about an hour ago. Terry is overnighting us a gift card for….wait…are you READY?????........DRUMROLL, PLEASE…….$900.00 to get a new computer. WOO HOO. And to top it all off? This is the exciting part….we get to KEEP the pc that has the bad tuner card and 2 dummy ports. OTHER THAN THAT IT WORKS FINE. We’re going to be able to have our own mini-network going in our house.

See, Jesse in ESCALATIONS? I TOLD you that something else could be done. I TOLD YOU. If I wasn’t so worried that my $900 card wouldn’t come, I’d call Jesse right now and give him the FINGER right over the telephone.

So six weeks without a computer, and MANY PHONE CALLS later, I think we came out all right in this situation. Providing it all pans out like it’s supposed to.

I still have the magic touch apparently. Only THIS time, I didn’t have to beg and threaten. It just landed in my lap. I should start a business going to bat for people.

Enough gloating....too much and it will bite me later.

Happy Thursday, all!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I feel……

I don’t know HOW I feel. I am terrible at eloquently expressing my feelings in writing. I can say I am happy, I am sad, I am mad, but somehow that doesn’t CONVEY the FULLNESS of what I feel… know?

I’ve been very angst-ridden over a tragic and terrible situation that I learned about over the weekend. Well it actually started on the 4th of July when a local young man was reported missing. Same thing we ALWAYS hear……not in his nature to not show up for work, not his nature to not check in with family….etc. Although this situation is alarming, unfortunately it happens, and many times with terrible outcomes. I casually followed the story and Perfectly Pessimistic really thought that not much good could come of a 19 yr old BOY being missing.

My niece, Heather and I did lunch and shopping on Sunday. As we stopped for pie (like I need any pie) Sunday afternoon, she mentioned that the body of this young man was found (remember, I didn’t have my computer then, and I don’t get the paper, so I was not up to date with any news). It made me feel TERRIBLE, but I guess I felt it wasn’t unexpected with him being gone for over a week. As we were paying for our Perkins pie, I picked up a discarded newspaper (the Sunday local paper) with this young man’s photo on the front. I scanned the article, and realized with HORROR that I knew the suspect in this young man’s murder.

Well, I guess I don’t exactly know HIM, but I know the rest of his family. Well. Son #1 is good friends with the murder suspects younger brother…they play sports together and hang out sometimes. We went to this family’s home on New Year’s eve and had a WONDERFUL time. I gravitate towards the mom in this family at ball games and social events surrounding our kids…….I get so SICK of the put on attitudes of the ‘perfect mom’s”, and there are 2 people in particular that I gravitate towards, and think of as friends…..they are honestly good people whom I LOVE to see. They don’t put on the ‘perfect family’ air or ‘my kid is better than your kid’ underhanded comments. I truly LOVE these ladies. The mom of the murder suspect is one of these ladies.

I am heartsick for her. And her husband and younger son. These people are some of the kindest, nicest UPSTANDING people you’ll ever meet. I just don’t know how to HANDLE it. There’s not a Hallmark Card out there to address this type of situation. My mom thinks I should call them and reach out to them. I worry that it will appear intrusive and like I’m ‘fishing’ for info, which I would NOT dream of doing.

I’ve thought about writing a heartfelt note and following up with a call later on when maybe their lives are settling down some, but that seems kind of cold and distant. I know MANY people in the community will rally around this family BUT there will be those that ostracize them and put them on trial right along with their older son. There will be those parents that won’t let PRESH-US hang out with the younger boy anymore….even though they were PERFECTLY comfortable with it 2 weeks ago………..

What do YOU think, internet? What should I do? Somehow a casserole and a shoulder seems so LAME compared with what they must be dealing with. Besides, they many not WANT my casserole and shoulder……

This in no way is to diminish the grief and devastation that the family and friends of the boy who died must be feeling. I can’t imagine.

What I’m trying to illustrate, I guess is that we ALL pass judgment on others. We all make assumptions, and never in a MILLION years would I have expected such a tragedy to befall this family that I adore. It’s amazing how EASY it is to label a criminal act committed by a stranger as HORRIFIC and EVIL. But when you actually know the family……I find myself suddenly feeling compassion and empathy for them. I feel TERRIBLE now for not realizing with CLARITY before now that tragic situations don’t only effect the victim and/or victim’s family…….it effects the lives of the suspect’s family and the entire community as well.

What should I do? How does one make that call or write that note? I’m at a loss for words.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hip Hip HOORAY!!

Our computer is BACK!! It isn't all set up, and Mr. Perfectly is working out the glitches (with lots of bad words and loud sighing), but IT'S HOME!!!!!!

I feel like crap tonight, so I will make this short (aren't you all THRILLED that for once it's short???). I have a sore throat and an earache, and I hear BENEDRYL calling me very loudly. I realize benedryl may not be the best solution for an earache, but makes me sleep like a baby. And I have to go to work tomorrow since today I stayed home and slept, ate and watched DVR'd espisodes of crappy stuff (noth--ing makes me crabbier than being sick and having NOTHING to watch on the tee vee).

Stoogie, since I am not going back to answer comments (at least tonight) several people told me to my face that the Watermelon salsa was 'really good', but I came home with most of that ought to tell you.....Personally??? I liked it.........It's not something I'd want EVERY DAY, but for a summer day dinner or potluck? It's cool and refreshing, and tastes good!!! But you have to be brave enough to TRY IT FIRST.........which I doubt many people did, since I labeled it......and nobody thought watermelon salsa sounded nearly as good as the old fashioned favorites, like STUPID doughnuts, and brownies............oh, and some sticky, nasty rice/broccoli dish that was SWEET the ones who did cook did it badly, and the ones that had ok stuff didn't think OUTSIDE THE snack day was sadly disappointing to me.

I'm glad my computer is back.......Hopefully Mr. Perfectly will survive the trauma of having to put on all the updates and discovering new bad words!!!

Toodles for now....

Friday, July 11, 2008

17 there and 18 back

Ok, so I took a good look at the parking lot stalker this morning as she sat in her coveted spot, smoking. So, she’s not all that big after all. I suppose it was just a fantasy on my part…….so, I am a bad person for judging…..but I’m STILL CUTER………so there.

Today is snack day at work. I LOVE snack days. Except when people forget and stop hurridly at the store and bring in doughnuts. That disappoints me. PUT SOME THOUGHT into the food, people!! Show off your culinary TALENTS (we had one lady bring in little smokies and a bottle of beer one time……she cooked the smokies in the beer. C.O.M.P.L.I.C.A.T.E.D.).

I chose to bring in ‘Fire and Ice Salsa’. It is a regular fresh salsa wherein the tomatoes are replaced with watermelon. The Hy-Vee lady made it a couple of weeks ago, and I was intrigued by it. I’m not big on sweet and savory together, but it was actually quite refreshing. Teenie got a bite and somehow bit into an uber-hot pepper, and nearly choked to death, so she didn’t have a good experience with this, but I, on the other hand, thought it may be a fun thing to try. Oh, and of course, I altered the recipe to suit me. Here is the original recipe:

3 ½ c watermelon cut into salsa size pieces
¾ c chopped green bell pepper (use red or yellow if you prefer)
2 T fresh lime juice
2 T cilantro (I HATE cilantro, so I personally used flat leaf parsley)
2T chopped green onion
1T jalapeno pepper diced
¾ garlic powder

Combine all ingredients well and serve cold (better after sitting). Serve with tortilla chips.

MY VERSION: Same recipe except:

Flat leaf parsley instead of cilantro
I added 1t lime zest
I used 1 full jalapeno pepper seeded
I used fresh garlic instead of powder (2 small cloves grated)
And I added ¼ to 1/3 c or so of diced red onion.

I opened it this morning to check it out and it did smell sort of oniony….so maybe go lighter on the red onion? Maybe follow the exact recipe? I don’t know. I bet MONEY that my watermelon salsa will be the last to go because people here in my office don’t like anything ‘new’ or ‘weird’. The’ll all look at it and think in their brains ‘ewwwwww’ and pass it by. I put it in a red bowl, so the watermelon has a very RED look to it. Maybe I should just let everyone think it’s REGULAR salsa……hahahahaha. They’d get a surprise!!

Son #1 made it to Atlanta, GA last night. He texted me telling me that downtown Atlanta was “cool”. My baby is seeing the world.

Here is a conversation I had with #1’s best friends’ dad prior to them leaving:

Me: You guys have fun. It’ll be a LONG trip…….(smile)
#1’s Best friend: Yeah, it’s like 21 hours down there or something, right?
#1’s BFF dad: Oh no……it’s like 17 down there and 18 back….or whatever….because you lose that hour, you know??
Me: (thinking to myself) Huh?

So, yes, my son is driving to New Smyrna Beach, FL, which according to the ADULTS he is with is a 17 hour trip one way and an 18 hour trip the other, since there’s a time change in there. FABULOUS, don’t you think? Just fabulous.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Big Girls DO Cry.

I believe I’ve mentioned on here….oh….eleventy million times that I’m of the LARGER persuasion…….you know, a ‘big’ girl. I don’t like to walk very far to my office---and yes, for any of you that care, SOMETIMES, I am one of ‘those’ people who cruise in Wal-Mart parking lot for a ‘good’ spot. I try not to be like that, because a little walk won’t hurt me a bit, but SOMETIMES I just can’t help it.

Over the last few months, I’ve been arriving to work LATER AND LATER and the parking in what I call the ‘good lot’ is down to the metered spots. Rather than park in a further lot, and walk, and get a few minutes of much needed exercise, I often pay a meter with lovingly HOARDED quarters. I feel guilty, and beat myself up, but in the heat or ice cold of the day (after work), I’m usually SO happy I can get to my car in short order and GO HOME. Mind you, I work in a State Government office building that can house maybe 2500 employees… parking is ALWAYS an issue. When the legislature is in session, it’s even MORE of an issue. I’ve noticed a trend over the last couple of years that I hadn’t noticed before in my 20 years working in the SAME BUILDING. There are people who appear to purposefully arrive quite EARLY, while there are still free spots available in the ‘good lot’ and they partially block the driving lanes, laying in wait for the various night shifts to come out so they can take the VERY best, PRIME, free spots. They even go so far as to identify the VEHICLE of said employees and butt up behind the empty car waiting for the employees to leave. It’s SICK. You can visibly see these poor night people dreading the frenzy of activity as they exit the building. They often display passive aggressive behavior by sitting for long periods of time in their cars waiting for it to warm up or cool off. They light a cigarette, or apply lip products. Carefully put their seat belt on, make a call or two, and FINALLY move on. The parking lot STALKERS patiently wait for their prized place. Even though there are metered spaces literally ONE SPOT OVER, and free ones were available during their wait that are 4 rows back. Rows. Not a huge hike, even for the larger set. It’s not even across a busy street….or in the furthest lot….when they arrive to stalk these very few prized places, there are AMPLE free spots available within 50 yards of where they choose to park.

I do not understand this phenomenon. I am ashamed to say, that I’ve noticed that all the stalkers are women, and if I must be frank, some are ‘big girls’ too. It’s not a justice to the stereotypes of large people to have these folks arrive incredibly early JUST TO GET A CLOSER SPOT in the parking lot. Closer by 50 yards…….150 FEET (I’m guessing…I’m no engineer here). Now, granted, I will often pay for a close spot. I know I should walk…so, you ask, why am I so much better than the pond scum STALKERS? Because my goal in life is for MY LIFE TO BE EASY, and I may have to pay for that privilege. I do not stalk others and make them uncomfortable while I breathe antifreeze on their tail ends waiting for them to leave. It’s like these stalkers make a huge, neon display sign saying “LAZINESS AND ENTITLEMENT………RIGHT HERE……I DESERVE TO PARK CLOSE AND DROP MY CIGARETTE LITTER ON THE GROUND RATHER THAN TAKE THE EXTRA TWO STEPS OVER TO THE ASHTRAY PROVIDED FOR ME”.

So, anyway, day before yesterday, Jakki saw one of the regular spot stalkers partially blocking the driving lane, with her CAR RUNNING (what a waste of gas, and pollution added to the world). She saw a second person pull into a metered spot and park. As the 2nd driver began to exit her vehicle, she realized the night crew was coming out. She hurried back into her vehicle and pulled up partially into a coveted spot. The Stalker also pulled in partially to the SAME spot. They exchanged heated words, vehicles nose to nose. The big Stalker girl hefted herself OUT OF HER VAN to confront the meter girl. Jakki heard her say something like “ I’ve been WAITING, I can’t help it if you didn’t see me waiting for the spot”. Jakki said she started paying attention in case she needed to duck, as she was in the line of fire if guns were drawn J. After several tense moments, the meter girl sped off into reverse, and by then someone else had taken her previous meter spot (that she may have even fed money into) and had to find a second metered spot. Jakki got out of her car to come in the building, and noticed the meter girl KNEELING on the ground, next to the car, with her hands up, resting on the car and head bowed. BOWED. Jakki thinks she needed a moment of prayer not to kick the ASS of the Stalker that bullied her into moving.

All this drama over a parking spot. ONE lone spot. This same Stalker waits every morning for a spot….it’s sick. Especially when there are available spots that are not metered just a few feet away. I try to own my laziness and take responsibility for the fact that I actually pay for parking when further away (in another lot) there are free spots.

I’ve been trying to arrive to work a few minutes earlier so I can once again, just park in the good lot in a free spot. Tuesday, and Wednesday, I pulled into our lot, just as the night crew was getting into their cars. The good spot guy pulled out just as I pulled in the lot (by a random chance), and I TOOK THAT SPOT legitimately from the stalker. I wanted to shake my smaller big booty by her van singing “NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH…I got the spot…….and you didn’t…….and I didn’t have to embarrass myself STALKING others for it”.

Childish, right? Right. But OHHH, SO vindicating.

Oh, progress is being made (baby steps in progress, but progress nonetheless) on the Geek Squad front. We’ll either be getting a new tower, or our old one should be overnighted back to us in a day or so. I’ll keep you updated.

Yours Truly,

I may be fat, but I’m not as fat as the parking lot stalker!!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Don’t mess with me, Jesse

Yesterday, I refrained from my long winded TIRADES about Best Buy, Geek Squad, Geek Squad City, and the ‘Agents’ in the Public Defender’s office of Geek Squad. I know I am windy, and my thoughts are all over the place, and my writing makes no sense unless you R E A D I T V E R Y S L O W L Y and try to take notes to piece my random thoughts together.

But today, however, I will treat you to an UPDATE. I called Jesse at Geek Squad ‘Public Defender’s office” yesterday around 1 pm (mind you this was 28 and ½ hours AFTER he told me it would be 24-48 hrs to get an email response back from Geek Squad City). I thought that time frame was quite generous and patient on my part, don’t YOU?

Anyway, long story short, he annoyed me further, I was unreasonable to the point of leaving him stumbling over his words…….BWHAHAHAHAHAHA, and although this was gratifying, he still refused to jump through any hoops for me. He also went so far to tell me that there was NOBODY else in the Best Buy organization or Geek Squad (are they one and the same????) that could help me. Let me sum up my thought process on THAT statement…..BULLLLLLLLLL SHIT. (sorry, mom).

I googled ‘Best Buy corporate offices’ and my frienemy, Google, came through. Up popped a PHONE NUMBER to the corporate offices. And after some minor wrangling, I got TERRY, in the corporate complaints area. He was pretty terse with me, which I complained to him about……but all in all it was mildy gratifying to hear him say I should not have been treated as I was. Harruummph.

I got the same BS story from him about how he can’t CALL geek squad city (I guess Geeks are allergic to all forms of communication that don’t involve email or some other technology), but because he was in the CORPORATE office, he should be able to get a response quicker than JESSE in escalations.

Take THAT, Jesse. Don’t tell ME that there’s nobody else I can call.

So, I still have no answers, and no resolution, but damn it, I talked to SOMEONE OTHER THAN JESSE, and he said it couldn’t be done. That in itself made my day.

Tomorrow son#1 leaves for Florida. Tell me all you men readers……were you surly to YOUR parents when you were 17? He has given NO indication that he’ll miss us, or that he even is grateful that we let him GO…..he’s just grumpy and snotty to us. Is this teenage boy code for “I really love you, and thanks for letting me go”??? Or does he hate us? It’s a battle after battle with him…….basically because he constantly wants to go out with his friends, and I’d like him to stay home a LITTLE BIT before he leaves for 11 days……….but apparently, according to him, this is STUPID and “Gay as Hell” (he knows using the word ‘gay’ to negatively describe something sends me into ORBIT), and he should be able to just run around all willy-nilly. While we see the smoke tendrils of his jet pack shoes running out the door. It really ticks me off. And hurts my mommy feelings.

We watched a marathon of ‘America’s got Talent’ last night. I’d dvr’d the 3 weeks prior, plus the one airing last night. We didn’t make it through last night’s show, but we did, however, manage to cram 6 hours of drivel into 4 and a half or so. It ended up being mildly entertaining…..My favorites so far are the large Opera singer dude (that hails from Missouri—yeah!!), the little kids that sing, and the Gay Cowboy dance Troupe. I wonder if the Cowboy dance troupe is really gay…they only ‘alluded’ to it by saying their troupe could be described as ‘brokeback meets Broadway’. My husband and son could NOT understand the appeal that a gay dance troupe has on women (the women were NUTS about them in the audience). I tried to explain to the best of my abilities, but they still didn’t get it. So, help me out here, folks. Some of you that can express yourselves BEAUTIFULLY with words…give me a good explanation other that women like hot men that are perceived to be ‘safe’…….they didn’t buy that explanation.

I haven’t checked, but I certainly HOPE BEYOND HOPE that we have a new ‘Ghost Hunters’ tonight. I look forward to Wed. nights, and my ghost fix……..I’m BORED with the re-runs, Jason and Grant…do you HEAR me?

Well, I’ve managed to get NOTHING done of late at work, so I’m off to do my job…like a good worker bee.

I’d offer money for comments, but I don’t have any, so I’ll have to offer up my deepest gratitude……..we’ll see how many people are ENTICED by gratitude…huh?

It’s Wednesday………..and that’s all I can say about THAT.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

In which I try not to talk about BEST BUY/GEEK SQUAD and instead discuss something more random

like the time Jakki and I were leaving work and saw the Capitol Police performing CPR on a guy in the snow. Being the uncaring people we are, we both immediately noticed (to ourselves) his ample, naked belly being distended even MORE with the CPR. Then of course we went back to HUMAN mode and began to feel bad for the poor guy, laying on the snowy parking lot, having to be so PUBLICLY worked on..........we then began to compare notes about our thoughts and realized that indeed we ARE TWINS SEPARATED AT BIRTH AND BY 5 YEARS and think JUST alike. We heard later that he was fine, which is a nice thing to know.

And that I think my dogs could benefit from some Victoria whoever that is the host of "it's me or the dog' on animal planet. They aren't very well behaved creatures, and I dote on them far more than apparently I should, and that may be the reason that Buster treats me so badly....because he can, and I don't discipline him. Maybe she can work her miracles on my teenage boys, too!!!

And that my in-laws came for dinner last night and brought ASTI-SPUMANTE.......which I thought a little odd, but oh well....then they wanted it with dinner because it was a "special" which I asked brightly"OHHHHHH, what's special"??? It was their anniversary. Open mouth, and insert foot (and fist). Doh.........awkward moment ensued. want my spaghetti sauce recipe? It's soooo very easy.....and better than a bottle........

1 small or 1/2 large yellow onion diced
2 cloves garlic minced
1T dried basil
1T dried parsley flakes
1t garlic powder
1 1/2 t salt
1 1/2 t pepper
1/2-3/4 dry red wine
1 large (28 oz???)can of petite diced tomatoes
2 small (14 oz, not the really small ones) cans tomato sauce
1-2 T sugar
1T hot sauce (I prefer Frank's brand)

Saute the onion in a small amount of olive oil until translucent. Add garlic and cook for another few minutes (if you like green pepper in your sauce, dice a small one and cook it with your onion). Add the dry spices, and stir around and cook with the onions. Be careful if you are using non stick to not scratch your pan with the dry spices.

Add the wine and let cook for a few minutes. Add the tomatoes, and hot sauce...simmer while pasta of choice is cooking and you now have a fresh tasting, EASY cook sauce.

Add meat if you want, add other veggies if you want add cheese if you want........the sauce is basic and to me really good.

On another note, I don't measure, so the measurements are guesses. TASTE YOUR SAUCE and if you want more of something, add it. If you hate basil, then use a scant teaspoon of thyme or oregano----if you want more, then add it...

I was super excited yesterday to find comments from people that visited me via Kristin! You made my NIGHT Dingo and Stoogepie (Stoogie). As you all know, I love comments.......I practically PROSTITUTE myself to get comments, and to have folks that I see elsewhere READING my little blog and actually was moved!!!!

Oh, and for the ones that are regulars, but don't comment.....please do...introduce yourself....I see your cities on my site meter, but I don't know who you are..........Oh, except for you Ph.D, and cute cousins. I SEE YOU looking, but never HEAR from you..........hint hint. Y'all get on that, now, ya hear?

For you REGULAR regulars, I will get a blog roll soon. I promise. I am not talking about my lack of computer on this post, so as soon as I CAN, I'll have Mr. Perfectly get one going for me.

Toodles for now..........

Monday, July 7, 2008

Geek Squad is on my LIST and other various ramblings

The Geek Squad is going to have the PERFECTLY SQUAD after it if things don’t shape up IMMEDIATELY.

I talked to Agent Kristin again on Thursday, and she assured me that after she spoke to her superior, Jesse, that she’d call me back. NO FREAKING CALLBACK. On Friday, (the 4th), I was told by Carlene that Kristin would call me when she arrived, after 12:30, pm. Again NO CALLBACK.

I called on Saturday and spoke to Agent Heather, who was sympathetic to my plight, but of course had nothing to offer. NOTHING. She told me that she’d put a posterboard with my information on both Kristen and Jesse’s desk to see to it that someone called me BACK on Monday. It’s 8:30 (I’m not impatient or anything) and NO CALL. I’m on the phone with them now and lo and behold, Kristin doesn’t come in until noon today, so I’m on hold as I type for the supervisor Jesse. Damn it, he’d better BE THERE and not recovering from a Geek Squad hangover from the 4th.

I wonder how the Geeks party? Probably like the Perfectly’s---quietly and sort of boring. It was downright COOL on the 4th in Missouri…….so we huddled at the end of the driveway at the Farm and watched Mr. Perfectly, Son #2 and his girlfriend, and my Auntie fire off an obscene dollar amount of fireworks. We watched the bats—yes BATS dive bomb the bugs---Son #1 spent a lot of time ducking—avoiding said bats. It was pretty funny---

Ok, it appears now that the Geeks have been partying at the Perfectly family’s expense. I can just hear them now, drinking their Arnold Palmer’s, wearing their speedo’s and zinc oxide, laughing their asses off at us. Our computer apparently was damaged at some point in the shipping process. They ordered a part for it, but when it arrived, it was the WRONG part—so now they have to order it again, and estimate an additional 2 weeks in repair.

UH UH—No way. Why has NOBODY bothered to tell us in this whole ordeal that our computer was DAMAGED……..and that a part had been ordered to CORRECT the damage.

I spoke to Jesse, who sounds like he’s about 12, and he really ticked me off. “Ma’am, there’s nothing I can tell you. I just got in, and I have an email with EXACTLY the same information I just gave you”. I told him he better be calling Geek Squad City (Holy Crapola, Batman…) and GET the information straightaway. “I can’t DO that ma’am, they don’t TAKE phone calls…I mean, they HAVE a phone number, but nobody takes calls….we have to e-mail them and it can take 24-48 hrs to get a response”. I went totally nuts and told JESSE that 24-48 hrs was NOT acceptable, and he’d better get on the horn and figure OUT a way to get this fixed and SOONER than 2 more weeks. He just got as frustrated with ME as I was with HIM……..I asked for HIS supervisor, and he would not give me that individual. I asked for the person at ‘Geed Squad City’ that he is corresponding with, and he said he couldn’t ‘release’ her name. I again asked for his supervisor, and he quite curtly told me “He won’t be able to give you ANY more information than I will until we contact the service center for additional information”. I told Jesse that I wanted the supervisor to complain about his (Jesse’s) lack of understanding and his frustration with ME……he denied being frustrated, and said he’d put me on hold. Then he did the UNTHINKABLE…..he tried to transfer me (in other words, DUMP ME ONTO SOMEONE ELSE’S LAP), and he managed to DISCONNECT Perfectly. OH NO…….this will NOT do.

I redialed immediately, and got the same gal that transferred me to Jesse the FIRST time, and she put me on hold to transfer me back to him. She came back onto the line and informed me that she’d just go ahead transfer me on to customer care (a basic message from Jesse to GET RID OF ME)----OOOHHHHHH NO. I told her to give me RIGHT BACK TO JESSE. I asked him why he just dumped me onto someone else, and he claims it was because I wanted someone other than him. I explained that I’d asked for his SUPERVISOR and he refused to give me to a supervisor, and that I didn’t appreciate him sending me off to no-mans land to get him off of HIS phone (yes, I realize at this point I’m being just a TAD unreasonable). He gave me the number to the corporate ‘customer care’---which was a useless waste of my time talking to Bill…..who said he can’t FORCE the departments to give me a supervisor, and he can’t TELL me why OTHER departments didn’t notify us of damage to our computer, and he has NO IDEA whether or not I’ll be contacted further regarding my complaint, and he has NO IDEA whether or not we’ll be compensated in any way for our trouble……..

Bill was about as helpful as a wet kleenex. **sigh**. I get ahold of these things like a dog with a meaty bone…..and I don’t give up. I get really frustrated at the lack of customer service. And I especially get frustrated when I don’t GET MY WAY. I like and expect to GET MY WAY. Hear me Geek Squad? I WANT MY WAY, and often GET IT, so watch out….I’m poised for a fight, and I don’t give up easily. I’ve taken copious notes, and blogged about it, so I have WITNESSES to the debacle of the treatment of PERFECTLY.

On a different note, Mama is giving up her control (eep) and letting Son #1 go to Florida with his best friend and the best friends family. This is a very hard thing, because like MANY of you with control issues, letting my kid out of my site and out of the state is just about more than I can take. Even though logically, I know I can’t/don’t control his every move, I FEEL like if he stays in close proximity, that I can somewhat control what happens. In FLORIDA, however, I can’t control a blasted thing. What about car accidents, swimming accidents, sharks, too much sun, drinking, unsupervised time, and ALL THE OTHER things to worry and obsess about? I also think about the 17 yr old Perfectly and how AWESOME it would be to go to FLORIDA with my BFF!. So, I’m trying to hang onto that thought, but crap….I will worry. A shout out to Grandma & Grandpa----they financed a large portion of this trip……which is SO APPRECIATED I can’t express. It’s so appreciated, I’m risking the wrath of Mr. Perfectly for ‘sharing’ too much to give Kudos to the paternal grandparents………….I wish I could express my gratitude to them more eloquently, but alas…thank you SO MUCH will have to do.

Son #2 is thoroughly pissed because we would NOT let him go to Illinois with girlfriend and her family. For an undetermined amount of time (either Wed. or Thurs, depending on what the Uncle wants to do). It’s just creepy how much time they want to spend together, and although I was ONE OF THOSE GIRLS myself, she won’t let him do anything without her approval and/or her company. I know, to be 14 is to be TERRIBLY insecure and to control your MAN gives one a sense of power. I did the very same thing---only embarrassingly until I was MUCH older than I should have been to learn THAT lesson. But when it’s your BABY being led around by a ring in his nose, it’s different……JUST DIFFERENT….because that’s my right as a Mama and as a girl…….to have the SAME SITUATIONS be different because it suits me. I’m hoping for a 4 day break from girlfriend. I realize that the break will just mean a complete ONSLAUGHT of requests to BE TOGETHER after she returns, but some non-girlfriend PEACE AND QUIET seems SO worth the later payback.

Lots of thoughts and prayers (if you choose to do so) for Teenie. Her mom is in the hospital and is very sick. Teenie is very busy at work, and takes her work responsibility VERY seriously, and that coupled with her responsibility as a daughter AND a mother of two busy teens is weighing on her. Her mom lives in another city, and Teenie is travelling 2 hours between home and there. She’s trying to keep up her responsibilities at a demanding job, being with her mother and helping direct her mom’s care, and running her boys around to various events. She’s exhausted, and I feel for her……she needs lots of positive thoughts sent her way! Love Ya, Teenie!!!!!!

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. I feel like such a NEGATIVE NELLY----but Best Buy and GEEK SQUAD watch out…….I’m worried about my baby going to Florida, and since I can’t CONTROL THAT, I’m taking out my worries and obsession ON YOU…….and a worried mama is a POWERFUL force to be reckoned with.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Wistful Wednesday, part deux. Agent Perfectly at your service.

Do you know when you call the 'Geek Squad' that the customer service operators refer to themselves as 'agents'? Yes they do. "Geek Squad, this is Agent Brandi".

After I got done with Agent Brandi, I was transferred to the (gag me now) "Public Defender's Office" "Agent KRISTIN". Yes, the PUBLIC DEFENDER. I was ranting and raving over my computer and all the while, she's cooing into the phone, pre TRAINED phrases such as "I am so sorry, you must be terribly frustrated by all of this". "I am so sorry that you have not been satisfied with the service".....blah blah blah. DO YOU HEAR ME, AGENT KRISTIN? BLAH BLAH BLAH is all I heard.

If Agent Kristin doesn't find my computer straight away, Agent PERFECTLY will be all over their butts making UNREASONABLE DEMANDS for free services and money. Believe it or not, I get alot of stuff that way....credits to cell phone accounts, and cable accounts........I just ASK and sometimes I actually get it. Mr. Perfectly is AMAZED at my prowess. He's just too chicken to ask.....but I'm not. I keep good records of who I spoke to and that way, they can't TRAP me into "well, who did you SPEAK to that you think gave you faulty information?". I get them EVERY time. I keep times and dates too.

I have sort of an OCD with scraps of paper with all my little notes on it too. They are overtaking one end table in our house and one of my desk drawers. Part of the OCD lies in the fact I can't seem to get rid of the ORIGINAL little note I makes me secure to not transfer that information to a more reasonable place, like a notebook or note pieces of paper are my lifeline sometimes. And years later, sometimes, I can tell you exactly who the wipe was I talked to and what the circumstances were of the call, and WHAT I GOT OUT OF IT. I'm slightly obsessed.

My favorite freebies are from our cell phone carrier. Upgrades for the Perfectly's out the WAZOO......

Agent Perfectly out (for now).....10-4

Wistful Wednesday

I am off work tomorrow, and was off a half a day yesterday, so today is a day that I’d really rather not be working, but spending time with Mr. Perfectly and the boys. I seem to spend a lot of my time wishing my work days away, wishing to be independently wealthy…… have the freedom to not work. I have awesome work hours, by the way, and since I must work full time, I try not to complain TOO much, because I’m off at 3:30 in the afternoon, which gives me plenty of time and freedom to cook dinner, run errands and attend sporting events.

I just took a foray into the restroom……..with minor trepidation……..early this morning Jakki was the first to enter our esteemed porcelain palace, and found NASTY smeared all over the wall of mirrors that lines our row of sinks. Our soap dispenser provides pretty pink soap, and what was on the mirrors? Well it wasn’t pink. It was an opaque, milky colored substance. Miss Jakki so eloquently called it “MAN JIZ”. It was sprayed, smeared and dripping all over the mirrors. Dried. It was totally gross.

Now, we don’t know for sure that a male bodily fluid is responsible for the NASTY on our mirrors this morning (mirrors that are probably 8 ft long and 4 ft high). If it was ‘man jiz’ then someone was awfully busy…….or had extraordinary volumes stored……..or multiple donors……cause all the mirrors were COVERED top to bottom, and end to end with the STUFF…if it wasn’t the substance we suspect, we certainly don’t know WHAT it was……but ewwww, nonetheless.

I hope it was cleaned WELL in there…….(gulp…)

I noticed my ankle was swelling AGAIN this morning. Although I’m prone to finger and ankle swelling, I also had a blood clot in my left leg (which resulted in a pulmonary embolism) in 2000. Yes, the feared blood clot moving to the LUNGS happened to me. The vein from my left groin to my left knee was 98% occluded, and the surrounding smaller veins were totally blocked. Some of it broke off and ended up in my lungs. I was hospitalized for a few days, and on Coumadin for about 8 months……….apparently I have a genetic disorder which causes my blood to clot---DANDY, HUH? It LUCKILY is not a condition that requires lifetime bloodthinners---but will hopefully be managed by taking a daily dose of folic acid and a B complex vitamin. It works to lower the homocystine levels in my blood which in turn makes it not clot----or something like that.

Anyway….due to the very large and nasty clot in my leg, I have damaged valves in the leg vein…so fluid (that I’m already prone to retaining) goes very WILLINGLY down to the ankles, but doesn’t work its way UP too well. When it’s hot, or I’ve eaten something particularly salty (hmmmm…..Chinese food yesterday for #2’s Birthday?????) I walk around with a tree trunk ankle. You ask, ‘Why Perfectly DO YOU CARE, since your legs are already heavy???”. Well, I’ll tell you…….even as an overweight person, my ankles and wrists are still relatively (for my size) small. I really ENJOY seeing the ankle bone.

And my left ALWAYS swells much larger than the right, so I look weird. All Elephanty on ONE side………so I just took a diuretic. I’ll be spending a lot of time today in the ‘man jiz’ room. Oy.

Yesterday was son #2’s birthday. He turned 15. He opened 5 pr of jeans, 2 cargo khaki’s, 2 polo’s, 2 sweaters from Aeropostale, where we got a hell of a deal. $3 jeans. I mentioned it in a previous post, but was just still FLOORED at the volume of what he got as opposed to the COST of it all. We also went to lunch at a Chinese place that he likes and we went fireworks shopping, which has become a birthday tradition for him…..we shop at the same tent every year, and he’s good natured enough to still enjoy it.

He went to take his driver’s permit exam and failed. Poor kid….he’s so excited to get the permit, so I guess he’ll try again today……..

I went to the nail salon to have my ‘sassy’ 4th of July nails repaired. The French manicure was peeling off and my fun red/white/blue crystals are coming off……after only 2 days! She tried to tell me I work too hard with my hands…….YEAH, RIGHT….she certainly doesn’t KNOW about me and my aversion to manual labor…….she also said that it was because it was my REAL nails and not the fake porcelain nails that were painted, and REAL nails peel quickly. She halfheartedly fixed them and sure enough, one of them is PEELING again. Sigh.

OH—OH—Oh….I KNEW there was something I wanted to tell you! STEAK SANDWICHES. You MUST TRY this holiday weekend. It’s easy and doesn’t take a lot of effort.

1 tri tip steak (we cut ours in half width wise to make thinner pieces of meat) grilled
1 package of “Amazing” beef rub (amazing is the brand)
Onions, thinly sliced and caramelized (put them in foil on the grill with butter)
Mushrooms (sautéed---you can grill these with butter in foil, too)
Bottled pesto
Provolone cheese(or whatever you like)
Whatever type of rolls you like!!

Mix a couple of tablespoons of pesto in with 4 tablespoons of mayo. Chill

Rub the steak with the “amazing’ rub and let sit for an hour or so. Grill until medium (red in the middle—not bloody, but more than pink), and let sit for 10 minutes. Slice against the grain in thin slices, serve on roll of choice, with pesto mayo and grilled onions and mushrooms and cheese

It’s a perfect steak sandwich Seriously……..

Happy Wednesday. Mama’s gonna call Best Buy today and chew them a new one about our computer. If I don’t get this resolved IMMEDIATELY (and with free stuff thrown in) I won’t be able to post this weekend. I will however bring you tales next week(and maybe pictures) of fireworks, steak sandwiches, and relatives coming to visit for the 4th.

Oh, and send some funny mo-jo my way….I’ve been lacking of late, and want to be FUNNY and CUTE……and all that stuff.

Have a safe and happy holiday, everyone. AND MAKE THE STEAK SANDWICHES…….I dare you NOT to…..