Friday, April 16, 2010

Jump the Shark

So.....I've detailed my housekeeping deficit frequently on this blog. Y'all don't understand. I know that people say "oh, my house is a WRECK" and you find a glass in the sink and a towel neatly draped over the tub. HORRORS!!

I seriously am a loser regarding housekeeping. If 'company' is coming, we make an effort to try to make things presentable, but upon even a cursory inspection, one can see that it's NOT clean and neat.

When I do clean, I want it to be DISINFECTED. I am a firm believer of using bleach and Lysol products to disinfect surfaces. Therefore, I broke down and bought a gadget that I was seriously convinced would aid in my halfhearted housecleaning attempts. One that promised a sanitized and fresh smelling home! One that I researched extensively on frienemy, Google. One that got SHITTY reviews, but there were still those GLOWING reports of how well this gadget did the TOUGHEST of jobs.

I bought a Shark Hand Held Steam Cleaner. One that bursts forth
steam from a small jet to force the 'ick' from the tightest, hardest to reach areas. One with oodles of attachments. One with microfiber pockets to put over the attachments to clean everything from mirrors to pillows!!

Guess what? Huh? Just Guess??? sucked. Sucked Big Hairy Donkey Balls. I spent over 20 minutes splooshing hot steam into a window sill that hadn't been properly cleaned since we lived here----18 years!! It's been casually wiped, but not deep down, shiny white CLEANED. I just knew this Shark would do the trick. And it didn't. It just blew wet dirt around. It loosened some of the deep in-the-cracks grime, but woo hoo. Bleach and a toothbrush would have done the same thing. My bathroom still faintly smells like stale pee and my windows/mirrors/toilet etc are no cleaner than I could have done it with a Lysol wipe. And the worst part? 86 EFFING DOLLARS!! $86!!! I'll be visiting Target later this afternoon to return it.

I guess I'll have to buy some dollar store brushes and get after the yuck, huh?

I HATE cleaning.

happy Friday!!


daisee579 said...

I'm sorry to hear that you had such bad luck with the Shark thing. I've often wondered if it did any good. I also hate housework and am not very good about it. I'm sure there are loads of reasons why, but whatever, it is what it is. I tried hiring someone in MS, but eventually was going to fire her if I hadn't moved because slowly but surely she wasn't doing very much for the money - I had to scrub a tub after she came once. What's the point of paying her if I still have to scrub my own danged tubs???

I haven't thought about hiring someone now because the dogs and cats aren't fans of this new house and wouldn't make it very easy for a stranger to come in to clean. In MS I took them to doggie day care (yes, very yuppy I know). Here, there isn't one near by and I"m not willing to drive all around town to put dogs and baby in day care just to have someone come to clean. Maybe I can find someone to do it while dogs bark from locked crates? Oh yeah, it also needs to be cheap....think I'll find that? yeah, right!

PS I keep posting comments, but they never show up any more, so please dont' think I have abandoned you, I just don't know how to make it work anymore....

Perfectly Shelly said...

Oh No! I haven't seen any comments from are my very bestest (ahem....only) stalker!! hahaha!

I get tons of spam comments, but I check all to make sure they aren't from real, important people!!

I feel like I've abandoned YOU..I haven't emailed you in ages!

I got your announcement, and as before, she's BEEEAAAUTTTIFUL!

stoogepie said...

You really do need a cleaning lady. There's no shame in hating cleaning. You just pay for the affliction, and it's really not that expensive. It's probably even cheaper in this crappy economy.

Then you can do what I do: you can feel like it benefits you to be a slob because if you aren't a slob, you're not getting as much for your money.