Saturday, March 29, 2008

Dueling pedis and manis

Ok--GIRLS NIGHT.......yes, I know, it's been two weeks, but I've just been putting off the blog for some reason.....I get all in a hurry to POST, POST, POST, then lose the mojo or something.....but I'm back, and ready to tell tales.

Actually, girls night was a TON of fun, but it was relatively quiet (for once) nudity or unseemly antics--mostly just the 4 of us eating and drinking. Feel free to enlarge any photos to see what I'm talking about......

Here are the players: me (I'm in the hot pink--see the chapped upper lip? See the zit? See the faint redness of the neck?), Teenie, Marie (Teenie's sister) and Patty G
---we all met up around 7 at Teenies house. Teenie's living situation is.....well.....unconventional. She lives with her ex. Now, there are MANY reasons, and none of them are what you'd expect... it's not THAT kind of a living arrangement......she lives in his basement, which is nearly as big, and is nicer than her last house....she's with her kids, and it all works for the best....they maintain a good relationship and for what it matters to the world it works for THEM, so no more mention of it.....

The EX was kind enough to go see a movie and leave us girls to our own devices....we ate artichoke dip, pesto pasta, cheese bread, pizza and salad. Our goal, of course was game night and to drink. Marie wanted Midori sours---so we tried those, and we tried the Chica tea from Food Network. Teenie and Marie are big on 'theme', since we were eating pasta and pizza, it was "Italian Night" The food was great.

We talked, and laughed--earlier that day, Teenie and Marie spent quality 'sister' time together. They went and had pedicures. Marie is more of the Conservative type....when they did the toe nail polish, they wanted to paint flowers on their big toes. Teenie was all for it, Marie, not so much. Marie finally agreed to the flower, and the pedicure technician did a FABULOUS job....lots of swirls, and pretty looked like a real FLOWER. They put a tiny crystal in the center--it looked pretty awesome.....Teenie got a flower too.......mostly comprised of dots and a could TELL it was a flower, but it wasn't nearly elaborate as Marie's......Teenie said that during the pedicure, that Marie's pedi tech kept yelling at Teenie's tech in another language....Teenie asked what was wrong and the tech said the other lady wasn't satisfied with her rough skin between the lax buffing and the poorly designed flower, Teenie decided that Marie must have gotten the experienced technician, whereas Teenie got the apprentice.
We spent alot of time taking pictures of their toes--for comparison purposes, so all you foot fetish people, just go away.

We played "Catch Phrase" music edition.......It was pretty fun, and then we played a game called "Last Word", which despite the alcohol Patty G KICKED ASS at......nobody could get our words in....she ROCKED....we spent alot of time cracking up and I threatened to wake the EX up to get the Internet working so we could watch 'I'm fu&^%$# Matt Damon' and "I'm fu#@!(* Ben Affleck"....but alas, we didn't' bother the poor man for our own entertainment...I also wanted to 'live blog' while I was there, but Teenie didn't want me knocking on EX's door, curious to know why the wireless wasn't working. was a simple question........(smile).

Here's the funny thing.....Teenie and I went for a manicure on Saturday---she was treating me as a belated birthday present......and we decided to have a flower painted on our fingers.......just one.....and the experienced Tech that did Marie's toe showed us her own toe and asked us if we wanted a flower like hers....which we was lovely and they agreed, and we went for the full mani, paraffin dip and flower....I chose a lovely orange for my nail color.....and damn it, I'd just CUT them because one broke...way down in the quick, and I cut the rest short so my broken one wouldn't look so bad....they sort of looked at me like I was nuts for wanting a manicure....commenting more than once on my short nails, but I threw caution to the wind anyway...went with the orange sparkly color--which went on a very pleasant gold color.....I'm so glad I went with's out of my comfort zone without being NEON......

Here is a photo of my nails..we couldnt' get Teenies. I got wispy weeds, and Teenie got dippin' dots.
The 'experienced' tech went about making my wispy weeds, and ran off to do a pedicure...I suppose on people that had more WORTHY nails of painting.......and sent me off to dry......Teenie in the meantime had quite the earnest technician, promising her lovely flowers. He painstakingly worked and worked....probably nearly 20 minutes longer than my wisps took. I jealously watched him lovingly place gorgeous (so I thought) paintings on her it turned out, he did dots and dots and's pretty, but, I swear, it looks like dippin dots.

Friday, March 28, 2008

The Missouriness of it all

Earlier, in this post, I mentioned how the people of my community amaze me....and not not necessarily in a positive way.

On Monday, a student brought a pellet gun to Son #2's school. Another student told the administration, and 2 boys were subsequently punished (according to rumor). The local newspaper's open forum has citizens speculating, criticizing and berating the entire situation. My BFF Jakki forwarded me a post from an open forum from our local TELEVISION station website...and this, my friends, is why at times I'm embarrassed to explain where I live......Missouri and it's surrounding states, especially get mocked for the 'back woods' and rural attitudes. This comment, MADE IN A PUBLIC forum, though, is WHY these stereotypes exist (this is a quote taken verbatim from the public website):

pellet gun
i think when the kids comes to school they need to be checked at the doors that means bookpacks too and they need more law to help to check the kids out for any kinds of guys and knifes and lighters and smokes and drugs of any kind and if they have anything on them they should go to the police station and their partens need to be called in and get them from jail and they should make the kids go out all day when it is school time for week clean up the city street and if they get caught again make the kids spend time in jail to see how it feels behide the bars because it is not the mom and dads fault way the are now days and the kids do what they want all the time and thats the truth about it and if this stuff keeps i will not send my grandkids to school when they get older i will pay for home school and i know they will be safe at home and i don't let my oldest grandson play with anyone and he is 2 and half and when he gose out side i am with him all the time and i keep my eyes on him and his little brother and i will do the same thing when my granddaughter is born because it is not safe anywhere in this world and you all know thats the truth

Okay--I have several observations and questions. First: how many spelling mistakes to YOU see? Second: How many sentences are in the above comment? Third: Do you see any capital letters or punctuation? Fourth: The poor baby that can't play with other kids. And LASTLY, Who in the hell is going to home school these poor children? I certainly hope not the author of the above paragraph--if one can call it a paragraph. Now, I openly admit to my share of spelling mistakes (why oh why can't we edit our comments on other blogs? It would save me humiliation when I re-read my misspelled words..) and I do not correctly use punctuation. I take creative license here when trying to illustrate points.....but I certainly TRY to at least use rudimentary spelling and grammar. The above example is unbelievable to me.

When I went to the website to copy the above 'comment'....I found the following LOVELY gem:

I care
Yes, we may not be in high school anymore, but my child has a right to a GOOD SAFE ENVIORMENT to learn in. It may be a pellet gun today, but who is to say that tomorrow it might be a real one. I have a problem when my TAX $'s are not being spent the right way. Did you know that the science classes at L&C DO NOT HAVE books for their class! Why is that? We soon will be moving from this area Lord willing because of the school district! I do not want ANY of my 3 kids going to any of the upper schools in this district. The elementary schools are wonderful, but the upper schools are useless. Did you know that there have been large fights everyday this week w/ some of the students being led out in handcuffs! I know not every school district is wonderful, but I will not have my kids going to this district anymore. Heck, on April 25th, I heard the JC High School is supporting a Homosexual awareness day where they are PROMOTING THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE. Is that what we send our kids to school for!!!! NO NO NO, not w/ my TAX MONEY!

GASP.....NOT a HOMOSEXUAL awareness day? Heaven forbid that our youth should be taught responsibility, respect and diversity. It mortifies me to think that people in my own community are so closed minded and judgemental. I'm proud that my kids attend a public school. I'm proud that our public schools promote awareness and recognize that not all students come from the same cookie cutter. That they are different, unique and special and should be ACCEPTED regardless of their sexual preference, or other 'different' attributes.

Welcome to Missouri. Please don't think EVERYONE here is so closed minded.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


Do you believe in ghosts? I don't. That is until the GHOST HUNTERS, Jason and Grant come on Wednesday nights (on the SciFi) and CONVINCE me that there must be 'something' out there. I routinely freak myself out watching them and the TAPS team hunting the paranormal--the hair on the back of my neck prickle and I get that out of breath feeling. They go to purported 'haunted' locations with the goal of 'debunking' the alleged paranormal activity. They claim that they can explain away 80% of 'hauntings'. They supposedly only find 20% of cases to be true 'hauntings' or paranormal activity.

The TAPS team creeps around with high tech equipment. Electromagnetic Field meters, cameras, night vision cameras, recording devices and of course the ever present camera crew--who ALSO have 'personal experiences'. The camera crew has even been ATTACKED.......

My favorite episode to date is a lighthouse in St. Augustine Florida.....I SAW a black figure peering over the upper was super creepy.

I've been disappointed of late in recent episodes....there hasn't been ANY action...until LAST NIGHT'S SHOW. They got some good 'evidence', once again making my creepy meter shift towards the believer side.

Ok, I have some questions, though. First, WHY must they ghost hunt in the DARK? Huh? Why don't they look for ghosts and ghostly activity in the daylight where people can SEE IT? And how are disembodied voices captured on tape, but people can't hear them?

Now, I admire the TAPS team for their show investigate in try to 'debunk' instead of going in with pre-conceived notions of ghosts. To take pity on families with traumatized children. All quite admirable. However, in between creepy episodes, I revert to the 'NAH' side of the coin.

Now, Mr. Perfectly has had to perform his share of late night house squelch my unreasonable fears...he searches for mysterious smoke smells and funny noises.......he's quite patient with me, but I suspect that each Wednesday, as I DVR the latest Ghost Hunter episode, he sighs and wonders if he'll get a good nights sleep or not.

So, tell you have ghost stories? Do you have photographic PROOF? I anxiously await your responses.......tell me ALL about it.......I can't wait to hear about/see your ghosts.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The OCD of it all

Jonniker, yesterday, brought up several topics for discussion. I love her blog since she engages you to converse…to comment….it’s brilliant. Of course, I get all these ideas to type myself, and again get that whole ‘blog fear’ thing of am I stealing? Am I unable to form an idea on my very own? Will the blogger that inspired my topic be offended? It’s all too much to take in…I am a virgin blogger and I don’t know the rules….so hopefully someone will set me straight if I’m committing cardinal sins, or something.

Ok, Jonniker…I don’t wash my undies with my regular clothes. Clothes of like colors are washed together. I will, however, wash similarly colored socks with regular laundry. I wash ‘whites’ in HOT with BLEACH. This includes undies---of all colors and any kitchen towel. I’ve learned to try not to wash my bras in hot w/ bleach, because the purpose of a bra is to carry the weight of the girls in a proper manner, and hot water and bleach tend to reduce the effectiveness of this ability ……but I DON’T LIKE washing bras w/ regular clothes….not one bit. Let’s just say—dark, and MOIST. Shudder.

I’ve discussed my loathing of general household chores here. This leads to FURTHER question of my sanity, ( I am somewhat of a germaphobe) because, I will re-use a towel (my own towel)—they take up SO much room in the laundry, and a couple of uses won’t matter, BUT, I must have a towel with a tag. The tag always stays at the top of the body, so I can tell the ‘top’ of the towel from the bottom. I do not wipe my face or body with the parts of the towel that dry the nether regions…..ewwwww. I’m pretty obsessive about my towels…..don’t let any stray boys wipe their toothpastey mouths on my towel either……garrghhhhhh. I also do not enjoy SHARING a hand towel. I dread the bathroom in other people’s homes because I do not KNOW who has used the hand towel. If people have their ‘nice’ towels displayed for guest use, and all folded pretty..I use the BACK fold of the towel, in hopes that other people don’t suffer the same issues I have, and they used the FRONT. They should make pretty disposable towels for guest use.......

I will, however kiss my dog....but I don't like to share bottles, straws or eating utensils with anyone. So, as you can see, I'm a plethora of contrasts.

What about you? Do you have any 'issues'? Do you have things within you that are stark contrasts? Do tell!!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Let's party like it's 2011

How was your Easter? Mine was lovely. My BFF Teenie's apparently was in the future.

She joined us for Easter Sunday Dinner of Ham, spinach salad, rice casserole, homemade rolls and corn at Perfectly's dad's house. She brought 2 desserts--fabulous. We gorged ourselves on food, and made fun smalltalk over dinner. We drank a nice bottle of Stone Hill winery wine that was quited aged (with sediment)....but further label reading indicated that it was best consumed when 'young'.....oh tasted good anyway....She began telling us of her recent 'ski' trip to a man made mountain in St. was quite the ordeal, where she was heavily bruised and battered.

She confessed to taking old muscle relaxers that she had when she threw out her back "in 2011". I asked her...'in 2011?", and she said YES....remember when I messed my back up when I bent over to get groceries out of the car (making fun of herself for torquing her back while doing a simple task)....I stared at her, amazed...and she was all
'WWHHHHAAAAATT??? YOU'VE taken old medicine before haven't you???" Again, I looked at her amazed and put my hand on her arm and said, "Teenie, we haven't REACHED 2011 yet" She CRACKED up and realized what she'd said....and, backpedaling, said the muscle relaxers were from 2001.........hahahahaha.

Perfectly's dad moved the wine.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Skip to my Lou

I spent Saturday afternoon with my niece, Heather, her 4 yr old daughter, Maddison, and Heather's 4 yr old sister, Mia. I'm not all that great with kids.....the germaphobe in me doesn't really get on well with the toddler set. Maddi and Mia seemed THRILLED, however, that I was along for the afternoon. When we went to Hobby Lobby, BOTH girls were clamoring to go in with hold my hand (deep breathing, here--hands are the WORST for passing illness). We got through Hobby lobby and all it's glassware with no episodes, except Maddi exclaiming to Heather (and the other shoppers) that she had to POOP, really, REALLY bad.

Heather and I decided to run to the mall to see if the E.A.S.T.E.R. B.U.N.N.Y. was there. We didn't tell the girls where we were going or why. We parked in the lot, and once again, BOTH girls were anxiously awaiting my HANDS to hold. They were talking about running. I don't run. I asked them if they knew how to skip..and Mia proceeded to skip (in a 4 year old way), so Off I went, with a girl in each hand, skipping through the parking lot. I'm certain this was quite the site to behold....the fat a jiggling, the purse heavily falling off the shoulder onto my forearm.

The girls' PEALS of laughter made the spectacle all worthwhile. The 10 skips I skipped, made them LAUGH OUT LOUD, which was worth all the germs their little hands surely were giving me.

Malls no longer have a teenager with an attitude taking Polaroids for a rip-off $5. They now have 'photo packages' available for the parents to shell out big bucks for ($45.99 for the biggest). We just wanted some pics of the girls with the E.A.S.T.E.R. B.U.N.N.Y.

We called Mr. Perfectly, and he came to the rescue. He came with his camera in tow, and saved the day with some snapshots of the girls.

Afterwards, the girls got to choose some coloring books and 'bunny' glasses.

Maddi is on the left, and Mia on the right. I'm so happy I spent the afternoon with them. They were tons of fun and aren't they ADORABLE?

Friday, March 14, 2008


I know I've been titillating you with my promises of posting about girls night........well, I don't know how to take pictures from the camera and put them on the computer. Mr. Perfectly TRIED to teach me last week, but it didn't stick.......

I must confess, though, that I didn't get a photo of my chemical burned neck or zit--at least a close up...I did get some pictures of the girls and some when I get to it this weekend, I'll post about our really fun night. Quiet, but fun.

Go here to see Mr. Perfectly's photo blog. He's good. Comment if you want...he likes to read comments....if you LIKE it that is!!!!

Today's photo is an awesome one of son #2 and Perfectly's dad. It's an awesome shot and a fabulous sentiment.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Gaffe Du Jour (via e-mail)

Applicant: "When can I expect my application to be processed, I applied Monday."

Me: Checked data base for online transactions--found nothing

Me: "Did you mail it in?"

Applicant: "Yes
Sent via Blackberry by AT&T"

Me: Print the e-mail and snicker at his stupidity w/ a co-worker.

Me: "We don't accept applications in this manner. The only way to apply is to go to (website we use at work) or to submit a paper application and a $100 fee."

Applicant: "I sent in the application with a $100 money order."
Sent via Blackberry by AT&T

Me: DOH.....Felt really stupid.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Although I doubt if I'm really the 'authority' on the subject, it's my feeling that our small city doesn't have many, well....'houses of ill repute'. I know because we are the Capitol city of my state and because we have legislators, that these services exist, but where and how, I'm just not clear. I also am always shocked by 'drug busts' in our community...I mean, I'm not naive enough to think it doesn't exist, but major 'busts'?

Anyway, there is one 'Adult shop' that cropped up in a residential neighborhood a couple of years back. It was all the scandal when it opened it's doors. After a period of time, it became a 'juice bar' with live dancers. No alcohol license, therefore alcohol isn't supposed to be served. Again, SCANDAL ENSUED in our community.

Recently, the 'juice bar' was the subject of a STING OPERATION....a sting operation in my little midwestern town? It seems like something like that should be reserved for big cities or something...maybe where prominent Governors are?

This sting operation involved the local sheriff's office calling to arrange a 'room' for a party. "Dancers" and a mattress were to be provided. Oh, and they were welcome to bring their own booze. So, the officers showed up, the girls showed up, and performed 'sex acts' which weren't specified--although I believe it may have been with each other. Now tell me......just how many offficers sat in the assignment room holding their hands up HIGH in the air saying "Oh, Oh, OH, Pick me....Pick me". Seriously....hookers AND booze on the job?

Oh, on a sidenote, hookers, party or not...would you really want a mattress provided for you? I'm assuming in the 'party' was it in plain view? Were there clean sheets? Hasn't anyone seen the Dateline NBC stories and the 20/20 reports on how disgusting public mattresses are? And I'm not sure I'd want a room full of my closest pals to watch me 'get it on' so to speak.

Ever since the big bust, the local newspaper has been FULL of comments in their online forum. I entertain myself by reading this forum. The bored, uneducated, gossipy people seem to find great comfort in blasting our city, it's residents and each other. I'm appalled at the grammar, spelling and general 'redneckness' of it all. I don't know.....for example one young lady, who I'm SURE knows what's really behind the 'sting', said something like (now, mind you, I'm paraphrasing) the fact that one of the 'prostitutes' that was arrested was from Romania, and the writer went to SCHOOL with the now prostitute, and she was 'like that' in Middle School......a second poster, who I'm sure was even MORE in the know, said that even girls in 'third world countries' don't behave like that. Now, I'm assuming she was referencing the FIRST poster and her comment about the prostitute being from Romania. Since when is Romania a THIRD WORLD COUNTRY?

Oh, and the tension between the people POSTING in this very public, newspaper forum. The 'regulars' all act like they are SO in the know about goings on in the
city.....they post every day, and argue like children.......

So, if your local newspaper has an open public form, I'd highly recommend you read it. The one here, at least, provides many baffled head shakes and lots of giggles. Yours may too!

Has anyone else noticed that Gov. Spitzer's wife looks like Mary McDonnell (from Dances with Wolves)?


My computer capabilities aren't great, so I'm not even going to TRY to label each photo....the left is Mary McDonnell, and the right is Silda Spitzer. I kept staring at her during newscasts wondering why she looked so familiar.

Chicken Scallopini again for dinner. I'd highly recommend it. It's awesome.

Monday, March 10, 2008

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance (author unknown).

Ok, I'm a a major way. I'm sort of a germaphobe, yet a horrible housekeeper. Go figure.

So, how can one have two totally opposite afflictions? Who knows, but I'm living proof it exists!

I do not enjoy housework (I don't mind laundry, except the hauling of it up and down stairs). I detest the deep cleaning tasks. Floors, Windows (ha, who am I kidding...the windows have NEVER been done here and one there, but never 'window washing day'). I especially detest the floors........HATE THEM. My oldest son's 3 chores are: Bathroom floor, his own laundry and his room. I'm not a freak about their rooms. Both boys live like pigs.....and until the rooms stink of sweaty boy, I don't say much about their personal space. I make sure they wash their bedding and clothing, but other than that, until smelly boys make smelly rooms, I don't fuss over the mess. Son #2 is in charge of trash, his laundry and his room--he's worse than #1 about his's bad in there.

Anyway, I got off track.....MY hatred of cleaning........Mr. Perfectly does the vacuuming of the hardwoods, and the cat litter. Oh, he does his own laundry, too. We both pick up the common living areas and I do the bathroom (except the floor which son #1 is SUPPOSED TO DO). I cook much of the time and do the shopping, and Mr. Perfectly does dishes if I cook, and if he cooks (which he does do---), then I do the clean up. We can't quite figure out who's responsible for dishes when we grill...he grills, I do the sides.....maybe we should use that as bonding time, and do it together? hahahahahahahahaha But, although our system works for us, and it doesn't generally get HORRIBLE, there are times, when things get out of hand. This weekend was one. Nobody did much around here. I convinced Mr. Perfectly to wash our bedding while I was at girls that was a nice come home to Tide Lilac smelling sheets......but the was BAAADDDD. When your own dirt grosses you out, you KNOW it's bad.

Son #1 hadn't done his job and cleaned the floor, despite my reminder, and the IN-LAWS are stopping by this evening. Yes, we've known about the visit for several days, but in true Perfectly Family tradition, we sat last night, stuffing our faces with spaghetti, meatballs, and cheese bread and staring gape-mouthed at the tv. Mr. Perfectly did help w/ dinner--he made the cheese bread and boiled the noodles. I made the meatballs (from scratch) and the spaghetti sauce (again, from scratch). Other than a few loads of laundry, that is ALL I managed to it wasn't due to a hangover......just laziness. So, this morning, when I realized dinner dishes were still waiting patiently to be washed, I sort of panicked.....I couldn't be upset with Mr. P, he HELPED with dinner...I hadn't thought to get up and do them last night--and the IN-LAWS are I took off work early---to get things in more presentable shape.

I came in to find a MIRACLE....the dishes had been DONE.......Mr. P worked his magic and did them before work or on his lunch hour.....either way, I nearly SWOONED with gratefulness. The counters had been wiped, and things are at least presentable in a cluttered sort of way.......but the Bathroom still needed some SERIOUS attention.

I proceeded to sweep up the caked on pet hair (the humidity in the bath seems to leave things more STUCK to the linoleum than in other parts of the house where the dirt and hair scatters to unknown parts, like under the bed, or places that aren't as obvious until you pull something away from the wall and think EWWWWWW before pushing said item back into place), and pickup stray q-tips. I then pulled all the stuff out of the way, and proceeded to hand wash the floor with bleach water---to make it smell freshly cleaned and to DISINFECT that sucker.....I diligently cleaned around the toilet with a brush, and it's now drying in it's bleach/sanitized state. Hooray for me.

After the floor dries, I'll carefully swish the toilet (yea, I should have done this first to clean up any splashes) and clean off the counter and scrape the hairspray residue off of it....then sanitize it.....It will be clean for my mother in law to use. Whew. I'm skipping the tub--because I doubt she'll want to shower...if she does, it'll be amidst soapscum and hard water stains........

I have 'rituals' that I suppose ease the germaphobe in me. Jonniker discussed her fear of CHICKEN and cleaning up after handling CHICKEN and it made me realize how OCD I am with my weird kitchen ways. Dishes CANNOT be washed with the same sponge as what is used to wipe counter tops (haven't you seen the commercials with the SALMONELLA being spread around a counter top with a regular cloth?). I use disinfecting cleaners on my counter tops and stove and clean my sink EVERY time I do dishes with comet. Comet does WONDERS---it may be old fashioned, but man, it works. I buy Lysol or Clorox brand wipes to do quick wipe ups (not for chicken, though--I don't care WHAT the commercial says). Floors are also done with some disinfecting agent--when they get done that is. My philosophy is might as well kill everything down there while bothering to clean it......

Since every news show will tell you that SPONGES are the bane of the kitchen with all of their horrible-ness, I have a system. I love the sponge for how it performs as opposed to cloths. Therefore, I use them (these in particular). I use them for 5-7 days (depending on the amount and grossness of their use) to wash dishes. I may microwave them between times to kill stuff...not always, but sometimes. They then get retired to the spray nozzle side of the sink to be used for disinfectant cleaner wiping.....counters, stove, etc. Their last little bit of life goes to the bathroom floor and toilet. Then they go to the nice landfill in the sky.

Now, with chicken, I use an entire different method of cleaning. I deal with the chicken (usually w/ disposable latex gloves) and wash the board and knife with a paper towel or my hand and soap FIRST to get much of the chicken-ness off. Then after I'm satisfied no chicken-ness will be transferred to my sponge, then it gets re-washed with the sponge and soap/hot water.'s difficult. Even Mr. Perfectly KNOWS how to wash the chicken-ey stuff. Then the counter top gets disinfected, and then it's on to whatever else. Actually, we pretty much do this with all meat products...but chicken and poultry especially.

Now, for the rituals when someone is puking in the house. OMG.....I'll try to keep it abbreviated ( if I'm capable). I have a HUGE, PARALYZING fear of puking. ME puking, not others.....I am so nervous around those that are puking or feel pukey it nearly renders me inoperable. Seriously. When someone is puking, after each puking bout, I wait for all the virus germs to settle down a bit (to reduce the airborne factor) and I go in with gloves (Yes, I do) and bleach. I bleach EVERY surface thinkable that the puker may have come into contact with or came near. You know, hand contact is how most germs are spread......toilet handles, around the stool, THE STOOL, the sink, the sink handles, the light switch, the DOOR handles...I could go on if you'd like. I pray that the puker will be ok for the requisite 10 minute air drying to get the full disinfecting POWER. Then repeat...and repeat and repeat (depending on the puker and the life of their illness). Then I live in a state of panic for 3 days to see if somehow I'll catch it.

It really isn't pretty. Ask any of my family and friends. It's a true phobia that I suspect the ritualistic cleaning is clearly pointing to OCD as joke.

Therefore, the smell of bleach calms me---makes me feel like I've KILLED the damn germs.....

Now, do you suspect the length of this post is because I'm WORDY, or because I don't want to put the laundry in the dryer then finish cleaning the bathroom? Wager a guess........I may even add pictures later! Dish sponge side of the sink, vs. cleaning sponge side! You'll have to be satisfied w/ text for now....who knows if I'll get back to this. It's nearly a NOVEL by now.


Oh, pictures and girls night post coming soon!!!!

Saturday, March 8, 2008


Have I mentioned I'm fat? Well, in case I haven't, I am. That's not to garner any sympathetic "Oh no you aren't"s, because facts are facts. I know what I see when I look in the mirror, and,'s quite obvious. So, I often fret over how I look in different clothing.

Anyway, tonight is a 'girl's night at Teenies. I have a cute shirt that I bought a couple of weeks ago that she hasn't seen. See, she's my cheerleader....she's the one who trys to ENCOURAGE me to look my buy clothes that aren't too big.....and baggy......things that look nicer. Therefore, I want to wear my very cute pink shirt. So, this morning I embarked on the task that gets most removal.

Poor Mr. Perfectly--he gets what he gets, but OH, when the GIRLS get together, one must be CUTE. So I broke out the razor and handled the legs and underarms---yep, the legs weren't a pretty sight. I towel dried myself and went in for the kill.....the fine hairs on my neck and upper lip that I hate so dearly. I pluck the coarser ones on the neck, but lordy pete.....I've got more hair there than many men do.....sheesh. So, I got out the trusty facial hair remover creme. Applied, and waited the requisite 4 minutes, and wiped off w/ a damp cloth.

Oh, the redness...the burning sensation. I wiped and wiped, and went to apply the special 'after' creme that comes in the kit. I grabbed the HAIR REMOVER instead and slathered that on by mistake.....more burning...I quickly wiped it off and got the correct creme, but not until either side of my neck looked like Mr. Perfectly gave me whisker burn with his goatee.

Oh, did I mention the zit under my right nostril that's the size of MONTANA? Mr. Perfectly asked 'wasn't California bigger than Montana" you get the picture. So much for 'cute' and hair free. Try burned and zitty. BUT, Hair free.

I went to Wal Mart and bought some green aloe gel---and when I got home, the redness had toned WAYYYYY down...I was so happy, but it felt burn-ish, so I wanted to relieve that feeling---but even the ALOE burned like hell....I ended up with the red, icky skin all over again.

Slowly but surely, it's subsiding, but it won't be gone completely by time to go to Teenies. I've forewarned her, and she said not to worry. They'll laugh at we ought to be in for a fun sort of night.

Oh, don't worry, there WILL be photos. Even of me and my clownish neck and pimple under the nose.

Until later..........

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Some things never change

We spent 5 hours in the emergency room with Son #1 yesterday. He called me before 4:00 pm complaining of severe abdominal pain---just left of his belly button. He said it hurt to breathe in, and that the pain was intense. I told him to come home (he claimed he could drive) and I called his doctor immediately. His doctor was gone for the day (of course) and she said with sudden onset abdominal pain, he needed to be evaluated right away at an urgent care or emergency room. I chose the er, because urgent care would send us there anyway for tests.

He got home (not arguing about going to the er) and I checked his abdomen to see if it looked distended (HERNIA PEOPLE......WORRIED ABOUT HERNIAS HERE), and it looked normal. We sped over to the er HOPING to beat the evening crowd. Amidst the masked patients, we tried not to TOUCH anything and waited. He rated his pain at an 8 when this mess started. He never lets on that he's sick or in pain...EVER. It isn't until he's very very sick that we even know anything....he just doesn't complain. By the time we got to our seats, he said the pain was a 6. 45 minutes later in 'triage' where he got his evaluation to see if he was sick enough to be seen anytime soon, he categorized the pain at a 3...hmmmmm...he peed in a cup for them and that set off a round of discomfort that jacked his pain up a notch, but nothing very bad. By 6pm he was feeling fine and ready to go. Ok parents, you know the drill here.....what if you get home and he EXPLODES with pain? What if it is inflammation of some mysterious internal organ? What if? What if? I forced him to stay.

At 6:45 we were put into a room. We watched the rest of Entertainment tonight and an episode of 8:15, I FINALLY asked when someone would be in. They claimed we were 'next'. Finally at 8:45 Dr. Noll came in to see us.

After thorough palpitation and doctor like questions......Diagnosis? Drum roll please........... a strained abdominal muscle.

Yeah, you read right. 5 hours of an er wait, a snarly 17 yr old that was missing his Spanish group filming their big project, and a $75 co-pay. For a pulled muscle. He'll be taking advil or aleve for a few days to reduce any discomfort. No CT scans or x-rays. No blood work, no major illness.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm very thankful he's healthy and fine. But this goes to show, the panic of parenthood doesnt' stop because they are nearly still reaches into your soul and grabs ahold when your baby is in such pain.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


A conversation with my 14 yr old son (the one who likes to pose on the roof).

Me: "'s a little nippy out here"
Him: "HeHeHe....'nippy' HeHeHe"
Me: snicker, hoping he doesn't see me
Him: ""NIPPY" Hehehehehehehe"
Him: "Oh My THAT why they call it Nippy?"
Me: (laughing hysterically) "Ask your grandpa"

Monday, March 3, 2008

Ever have one of those days?

I didn't really have a bad day...this is the way Kitty Joe really sleeps....and it's too cute, dontcha think?

Our animals are so darn cute....they are spoiled and get away with all sorts of naughty stuff.....kind of like our KIDS!!

Missouri weather is so freaky--I guess that is ONE claim to fame that Missouri's ever changing weather patterns. For instance, it was in the low 70's on Saturday, it was in the HIGH 70's on Sunday...sunny both 1 am this morning, our bedroom window was open and it was 60 degrees and threatning rain. Mother Nature provided the light and sound show. By 5 am it was in the 30's and we are CURRENTLY under a Winter Weather Advisory. Go figure. According to the local Meteorologist, we may miss the worst of the snowy weather. Let's hope. But, if the pattern changes course, we could see 5 + inches of snow.

Does anyone else love Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant? I've read some online forums and the girls are all "He is such a heel.....he needs to get with the program" yada yada yada. But as we MOM'S know, he's just being honest...he's struggling with parenthood, and despite the fact he's making reality tv out of it, it seems real to me on most fronts.......and he's still cute in a former child star sort of way. When I was about 12, I had pages ripped from the centerfold of 'Teen Beat' and 'Tiger Beat' magazines of Scott Baio...and Leif Garrett, and Shaun parents took one wall in my room and stuck cork squares to it and made me a HUGE bulletin board for all my pre-teen treasures. Man, the late 70's and early 80's were so cool.....bulletin board walls, and glass/chrome furniture.

Well, TV stinks tonight, so we'll be watching the weather either hit or miss us on the Weather Channel, and try to find some interesting drivel to watch........

Oh, dinner was the Chicken Scallopini that they Hy-Vee lady gave us the recipe for yesterday morning. It was really good. Here's her recipe:

4 boneless skineless chicken breasts pounded flat
2 Shallots (finely chopped)
2 cloves garlic (minced)
1/2 c Dry white wine
14 oz can seasoned chicken broth (garlic flavor)
1/2 pint heavy whipping cream
Flat leaf parsley for garnish
Olive oil (coat bottom of pan...enough to saute chicken)

Dredge the chicken in flour. Saute in pan w/ olive oil until browned and cooked thoroughly. Remove chicken from pan. Brown the shallots and garlic. Add wine and chicken broth. Let liquid reduce by half. Add in cream and bring to a gentle simmer. Add chicken to the sauce to warm through. Garnish w/ parsley. Optional: serve over pasta.

It was sooo good. We just took the fabulous take-n-bake bread that Hy-Vee sells and sopped up the sauce with that. MMMMMMMM...we had steamed asparagus with it (the guys all had salad too). This recipe is a keeper

Thanks Hy-Vee for having the fabulous sample and recipe........

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Wouldn't you like to be a foodie too?

Oh food. How I love you. Today we are having my pulled pork sandwiches. Yum. Seriously...yum. While shopping for ingredients, we went to Hy-Vee..where there's a'helpful smile in every aisle'. Son #1 works there--so we go there alot, despite the fact it is probably the most expensive store in town. I'd take no smiles and cheap food, so Hy-Vee, make a note.

Actually, as a side note, we went to Schnucks's a midwest chain of stores....and they can be pricey too, but not always....they haven't jumped on the 'soda should be as expensive as beer' train yet, so they are good in my book, since Mr. Perfectly and I consume copious amounts of soda (no, not pop--SODA). Schnucks supposedly had pork tenderloin on sale, but they were out. We found some pork loin (as the butcher kindly told me apparently it is far different than the TENDER loin) was 10 bucks for this airtight package of pork. I'm not a pork lover (except in my pulled pork sandwiches) I'm not a pro pork after weighing the thought of finding pork any cheaper at Hy-vee--not likely, we bought the pork from Schnucks. Based on the butcher's high recommendation for what applications I wanted to use on the slab of meat.

Anyway, back to Hy-Vee---we bought toilet paper---Soft-n-Gentle...our plumbing doesn't tolerate real toilet paper well---Charmin just is too elite to break down well in water---and only a couple of places in town sell Soft-n-Gentle. Hy Vee is one of them.....and we could take a peek at Son #1 in action. He's so cute in his blue apron, working in the frozen foods section. So, while perusing the selections at the 'Friendliest store in town", wouldn't you know. Pork loin, WHOLE OR HALF for $1.99 a lb. We paid 3.58 a lb. for ours. So, what does one do? Buy a whole freaking pork loin for 'someday' or hope that Hy-Vee comes through again in a few months when we want pulled pork again? Decisions....we left the pork where it was, and wandered over to the bakery area. And between the bakery area and the meat, there were SAMPLES...I adore samples in the grocery store. This was of Chicken Scallopini.....which I will be making TOMORROW for was awesome. And she had WINE samples.....WINE AT 10:30 IN THE MORNING at Hy-Vee---Maybe I WILL take some smiles after all!

Seriously, Hy-Vee is AWESOME for their wine tasting. We were at Hy-Vee at the Lake of the Ozarks by chance one day in November, and the ENTIRE STORE had wine and booze tasting around the ENTIRE perimeter of the store! I left tipsy!! Really tipsy.....not that it takes much to get me tipsy, but still....I bet I had 2 and a half glasses of wine in total a few liquor samples. Man oh Man.....that is my kind of day at the grocery store. Luckily, Perfectly's dad was driving. He patiently waited for me to go throughout the WHOLE store and drink! How awesome is Daddy!!

We tried some of the sweet wine this morning and bought 2 bottles....$8.98 a bottle. I embarassed myself because the food sample lady pointed to the bottles next to her display and said "this is all I have left". She'd ordered 5 cases or something and this was all until the order came in.....I HURRIEDLY grabbed the two bottles she had--because, you know, I didn't want to be left out of the wine stampede she'd had and all. And Mr. Perfectly pointed out the case that was sitting BELOW her display. Yeah...who looked like drunk THEN? At 10:30 in the morning. After proudly exclaiming how my son worked there too.

We came home and unloaded our huge grocery purchases and that is the end of the story. Exciting re-living my life, isn't it? want the pulled pork recipe?? Sure, here goes:

One pork roast--2-4 lbs--use your favorite. We've used pork chops, too
1 med onion, roughly chopped
1 green pepper roughly chopped
1/2 can chicken broth
3/4 bottle of WORLD HARBORS Jerk Sauce

Put all ingredients into a crock pot or slow cooker. Cook all day til pork falls apart. Shred the pork, add a little of the sauce (for flavor, not to make it saucy). Serve on toasted rolls, with cole slaw. ON. THE. SANDWICH. I promise, you'll love it.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Up on the roof.....

Today it is 65 degrees. Mr. Perfectly spent the late morning and early afternoon cleaning up debris from the December ice storm. We had alot of downed limbs and branches. He cleaned up some of it the week of the storm, and true to the Perfectly family nature, he put the rest off until today--and that's only because the free dump site (that doesn't have size limits on debris--such as length and girth) closes tomorrow.......we missed the curbide pickup that the city provided...for free, but when I complained about the missed opportunity, Mr. Perfectly so nicely reminded me that MY ass wasn't out there picking up sticks either. Touche.

Son #2 was put onto rooftop duty, gathering the debris that has been hanging out up there....and true to HIS nature, while he was up there,we (and the neighborhood, and passing small planes) witnessed the following.......

Son #2 is 14, and the girls all tell him he's HOT. They tell him he should model for Abercrombie........he's been practicing:

Or perhaps, he's auditioning for the next Spider Man??

So, next time you are flying over my neck of the woods and see a cute blonde kid on the roof goofing off, give him a shout out......