Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Wistful Wednesday

I am off work tomorrow, and was off a half a day yesterday, so today is a day that I’d really rather not be working, but spending time with Mr. Perfectly and the boys. I seem to spend a lot of my time wishing my work days away, wishing to be independently wealthy…… have the freedom to not work. I have awesome work hours, by the way, and since I must work full time, I try not to complain TOO much, because I’m off at 3:30 in the afternoon, which gives me plenty of time and freedom to cook dinner, run errands and attend sporting events.

I just took a foray into the restroom……..with minor trepidation……..early this morning Jakki was the first to enter our esteemed porcelain palace, and found NASTY smeared all over the wall of mirrors that lines our row of sinks. Our soap dispenser provides pretty pink soap, and what was on the mirrors? Well it wasn’t pink. It was an opaque, milky colored substance. Miss Jakki so eloquently called it “MAN JIZ”. It was sprayed, smeared and dripping all over the mirrors. Dried. It was totally gross.

Now, we don’t know for sure that a male bodily fluid is responsible for the NASTY on our mirrors this morning (mirrors that are probably 8 ft long and 4 ft high). If it was ‘man jiz’ then someone was awfully busy…….or had extraordinary volumes stored……..or multiple donors……cause all the mirrors were COVERED top to bottom, and end to end with the STUFF…if it wasn’t the substance we suspect, we certainly don’t know WHAT it was……but ewwww, nonetheless.

I hope it was cleaned WELL in there…….(gulp…)

I noticed my ankle was swelling AGAIN this morning. Although I’m prone to finger and ankle swelling, I also had a blood clot in my left leg (which resulted in a pulmonary embolism) in 2000. Yes, the feared blood clot moving to the LUNGS happened to me. The vein from my left groin to my left knee was 98% occluded, and the surrounding smaller veins were totally blocked. Some of it broke off and ended up in my lungs. I was hospitalized for a few days, and on Coumadin for about 8 months……….apparently I have a genetic disorder which causes my blood to clot---DANDY, HUH? It LUCKILY is not a condition that requires lifetime bloodthinners---but will hopefully be managed by taking a daily dose of folic acid and a B complex vitamin. It works to lower the homocystine levels in my blood which in turn makes it not clot----or something like that.

Anyway….due to the very large and nasty clot in my leg, I have damaged valves in the leg vein…so fluid (that I’m already prone to retaining) goes very WILLINGLY down to the ankles, but doesn’t work its way UP too well. When it’s hot, or I’ve eaten something particularly salty (hmmmm…..Chinese food yesterday for #2’s Birthday?????) I walk around with a tree trunk ankle. You ask, ‘Why Perfectly DO YOU CARE, since your legs are already heavy???”. Well, I’ll tell you…….even as an overweight person, my ankles and wrists are still relatively (for my size) small. I really ENJOY seeing the ankle bone.

And my left ALWAYS swells much larger than the right, so I look weird. All Elephanty on ONE side………so I just took a diuretic. I’ll be spending a lot of time today in the ‘man jiz’ room. Oy.

Yesterday was son #2’s birthday. He turned 15. He opened 5 pr of jeans, 2 cargo khaki’s, 2 polo’s, 2 sweaters from Aeropostale, where we got a hell of a deal. $3 jeans. I mentioned it in a previous post, but was just still FLOORED at the volume of what he got as opposed to the COST of it all. We also went to lunch at a Chinese place that he likes and we went fireworks shopping, which has become a birthday tradition for him…..we shop at the same tent every year, and he’s good natured enough to still enjoy it.

He went to take his driver’s permit exam and failed. Poor kid….he’s so excited to get the permit, so I guess he’ll try again today……..

I went to the nail salon to have my ‘sassy’ 4th of July nails repaired. The French manicure was peeling off and my fun red/white/blue crystals are coming off……after only 2 days! She tried to tell me I work too hard with my hands…….YEAH, RIGHT….she certainly doesn’t KNOW about me and my aversion to manual labor…….she also said that it was because it was my REAL nails and not the fake porcelain nails that were painted, and REAL nails peel quickly. She halfheartedly fixed them and sure enough, one of them is PEELING again. Sigh.

OH—OH—Oh….I KNEW there was something I wanted to tell you! STEAK SANDWICHES. You MUST TRY this holiday weekend. It’s easy and doesn’t take a lot of effort.

1 tri tip steak (we cut ours in half width wise to make thinner pieces of meat) grilled
1 package of “Amazing” beef rub (amazing is the brand)
Onions, thinly sliced and caramelized (put them in foil on the grill with butter)
Mushrooms (sautéed---you can grill these with butter in foil, too)
Bottled pesto
Provolone cheese(or whatever you like)
Whatever type of rolls you like!!

Mix a couple of tablespoons of pesto in with 4 tablespoons of mayo. Chill

Rub the steak with the “amazing’ rub and let sit for an hour or so. Grill until medium (red in the middle—not bloody, but more than pink), and let sit for 10 minutes. Slice against the grain in thin slices, serve on roll of choice, with pesto mayo and grilled onions and mushrooms and cheese

It’s a perfect steak sandwich Seriously……..

Happy Wednesday. Mama’s gonna call Best Buy today and chew them a new one about our computer. If I don’t get this resolved IMMEDIATELY (and with free stuff thrown in) I won’t be able to post this weekend. I will however bring you tales next week(and maybe pictures) of fireworks, steak sandwiches, and relatives coming to visit for the 4th.

Oh, and send some funny mo-jo my way….I’ve been lacking of late, and want to be FUNNY and CUTE……and all that stuff.

Have a safe and happy holiday, everyone. AND MAKE THE STEAK SANDWICHES…….I dare you NOT to…..



Kristen said...

You can't always be funny and cute. Especially when you're hot and your ankle is swollen.

It happens to me too. My ankles swell up if I even so much as look at a salty pretzel or think about how hot it is.

It sucks.

I feel your pain sista.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Ahhh, but YOU are ALWAYS funny and cute. Even if you ARE swollen and have jacked eyes.........

Tell Lynn Hi, and I miss her!