Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tirade Tuesday

Well, nothing like getting up and having Mother Universe KICK YOU IN THE ASS.
I’m trying to be calm, and all parental, but I’m LOSING MY EVER LOVING MIND.

Son #1 ‘spent the night’ with his friend Saturday night…….. but as I found this morning, he actually trekked up to the big college town north of us, and stayed there all night long. In a girl’s room. Believe it or not, the girl’s room is freaking me out 100x less than the sneaking around a LYING. I don’t think he and this girl are involved, but even so, the whole spend the night with a girl thing is way less disturbing to me than LYING.

I’m nearly in tears-----there are times when having teenagers is really hard…….and other times, it is totally all worth it. This is a really hard time. He turns 18 in 2 weeks, and I fear the “I’m 18 and you can’t tell me what to do” syndrome. He truly doesn’t ‘get it’. Of course, he thinks I don’t ‘get it’.

I want to cry, internet. I know this is a ‘this too shall pass’ moment. I totally get that. But in the throes of the panic and worry, it sure as hell doesn’t SEEM LIKE IT. I fear him totally leaving when he’s 18. I fear that he will expect all the ‘good’ stuff from us (cell phones, money, vehicle, etc) and dump on us by using the ‘I’m 18 and you can’t tell me what to do anymore’ thing. My entire being fears this……..boot shaking FEAR.

Ok, and what is with the everyone saying Eva Longoria is ‘just fat’. Do these people really know the definition of fat? Eva Longoria doesn’t even come CLOSE to fitting that description……it’s so humiliating for someone like ME to see someone like HER flippantly saying that “I’m just fat……tee hee”. It’s like a slap in the face to me……because they don’t KNOW fat…….I don’t even watch Desperate Housewives, or keep up with that crew, but the MEDIA is in such a tizzy over whether or not she’s pregnant or not, that it’s a HEADLINE……a freaking HEADLINE when our economy is on the brink of DISASTER, the mainstream media is worried whether or not Eva Longoria is fat or pregnant.

Ok, and to tell THIS story, you need to hear a little background on my cat. He, on occasion, will pee on items left on the floor. Towels, socks, SHORTS…….so for me, being the terrible housekeeper that I am, poses a minor problem at times. Mr. Perfectly doesn’t LIKE it when the cat pees on stuff. Even if it isn’t HIS stuff. But anyway, a good sign that cat has peed somewhere is when he is near the offending item, and ‘scratching’ to ‘cover’ the mess----now he doesn’t have front claws…so he’s really only swiping, not scratching, but you know what I mean…..that sweeping motion a cat uses with their foot to ‘cover’ their business. Of late, he seems to try to cover ALL the smells in the house. Where the dog lays, where we sit, where the food is….it’s kind of weird…we worry that he’s thinking about peeing or something. I am not a cat, so I don’t know what he’s THINKING…….

So, anyway……usually an hour or so before the alarm, cat comes into our room and stalks us and the dogs. He sits and peers through the slats in the blinds for birds and squirrels to stalk. He insists on ‘scratching’ the cardboard we have in our window (because we are classy like that) to cover the area where a window fan fits, but the blinds don’t go all the way down.. We fight him in the early morning hours. Damn nocturnal cat. So this morning, he came and nuzzled me on my face, which is common…..and he began SMELLING me…..my mouth and breath precisely-----and immediately began ‘scratching’ the blanket tucked so very sweetly under my chin…..so apparently the early morning gods were trying to TELL ME SOMETHING………and the cat was trying to cover the god awful smell.

So, as you can see, I’ve had a great start to the day. It’s only 8:10 in the morning. What other lovely things await me today?

Oh, and Mr. Perfectly and I are suffering from Puppy Fever….in a bad way. Tell us that 2 dogs, a cat and 2 teenagers ARE ENOUGH…..we don’t NEED another dog…….(but the ones we found are SO CUTE)…….we need a pet intervention.

Sorry to be a Daisy Downer today---but it just is one of those worrisome days…….Hold me internet….make it all go away.


Lynne said...

I hope I don't sound like I'm a trying to be a teenager expert or anything but I have a 16 year old and a 19 year old and trust me when I say, if this truly is the first time he's lied to you at almost age 18, YOU are doing very well. Count your blessings.

Perfectly Shelly said...

OOHHHH NOOOOOO, it's not the first time......and it won't be the last.......I know that...I'm just disappointed ONCE AGAIN.....

It's frustrating.

Lynne said...

I hear you sister! Mine lie like it's their jobs!!

Dingo said...

I say that you should trade your teen-age in for another dog. Puppies are much less trouble and you can get him neutered. Then again, you might want to think about that for Son #1 too! Just sayin'.

I also hate it when magazines offer the exercise and diet tips of size 0 stars. Really? If I had the time to exercise like that and someone to cook for me, I'd be a size 0 too! Well, no, not really. I'd sneak Oreos but, hey, maybe I'd be a size 4!