Monday, September 8, 2008

Monday Musings

It is FUTILE to try to apply makeup when allergy season is in full force. I got up late this morning, and showered and sat down to put on my makeup…my eyes were running, my NOSE was running, I was sneezing and COPIOUS amounts of snot were being produced.

I gave it the old college try, though. My nose is scaly and Rudolph-esque, and I’m sure my mineral makeup fused with the eye liquid to make an actual liquid makeup……it was seriously a mess.

So, what did YOU all do this weekend? Well, my in-laws made a surprise visit on Saturday morning. We went to Dillard's and shopped the 75% off sales (take an additional 50% off the already 75% off prices). I got 9 shirts…NINE people for about $45. I got to the checkout area and watched my $4 and $5 purchases ring up and went for my debit card. NOTHING. No wallet, NOTHING. My checkbook was in my purse, but my wallet was missing in action. Of course, I couldn’t write a check without any identification, so my mother-in-law paid for them. My wallet ended up being left at my office on Friday, so I went to the bank with Mr. Perfectly’s card, and she refused my pay back……so I essentially got 9 shirts for FREE.. It was really nice of her to buy them for me, but when she pulled out her credit card, I figured it was a quick cover for my lost wallet…….but she wouldn’t take my money. Thanks Mom-In-Law!!

We went to Red Lobster for lunch---again, they paid---which was quite nice. We’d already made plans with Perfectly’s Dad to go here---the Missouri River Valley Steam Engine Association’s BACK TO THE FARM REUNION in Booneville, MO. The in-laws decided to go with us…me, Mr. Perfectly, Son #2 and Girlfriend, Perfectly’s dad and the in-laws all trekked up to the wonder that only rural Missouri Entertainment can offer. There were tractors EVERYWHERE. We went originally to the tractor pull…….Mr. Perfectly took this picture of me next to a tractor because just LOOK AT THE NAME……….these old farmers are nothing but Horn Dogs……….

We finally got our dads pulled away from the tractor pull and we went over to the fairground area to witness lots of junk vendors, some displays of corn meal grinding, ice cream making, kettle corn making and THIS (disregard my fat ass).

DICKS. He makes the BEST horseradish imaginable. We usually find him at the annual Pumpkin Festival in October, but he said this year he may not be there….because of high booth prices and gas prices…….he said so many younger people go to that festival, and don’t have any money, that it wasn’t worth it. Whew, I’m sure glad he was at the Steam Engine show….because I’ve GOT to get my DICKS horseradish every year. It’s $6.50 per 12 oz jar or $12 for a 24 oz jar, and he makes regular horseradish and get this…..CRANBERRY horseradish…….I KNOW… sounds gross, but it is AWESOME…just awesome. I have a jar of each in my freezer, just WAITING for some use. Go HERE for his website. ORDER FROM HIM…….it’s good. He’s even got recipes. I love me some DICKS………

Then the in-laws wanted to go to the Isle of Capri casino…to eat and to gamble. We tried to eat at Farraddays’, and the suckers wouldn’t seat us. The SAID it was because there were 7 of us and it would be a 45 minute wait—unless we wanted to sit in the bar, with some tables shoved together. Since none of us smoke, the smoky bar was out of the question. Personally, I think it was because we looked like 7 hicks that just came from the BACK TO THE FARM REUNION. We were all in t-shirts and jeans, and I somehow think that FARRADDAYS thought we were too unkempt for their hoity-toity ala carte menu. So we begrudgingly went to Calypso’s Buffet. My Mother-in-law wasn’t pleased. She doesn’t ‘serve herself’, but aside from that little blip on the radar, and the fact that our waitress was totally kicked out of charm school, it turned out to be just fine. It was SURF-N-TURF night, so there was all you can eat shrimp (fried and boiled) and all you can eat CRAB LEGS and prime rib and 3 buffet lines of STUFF. It was totally awesome. I went for Crab Legs 2 times….and that’s all I ate! Other than dessert……some sort of mint crème pie, and part of a pastry and some chocolate covered strawberries. Holy crap, what a night…..unlimited, butter drenched crab legs and dessert! Screw You Farraddays………the buffet may have been loud and alcohol free, but it was some GOOD FOOD.

Then came the bad news. The in-laws and Perfectly’s dad went to gamble. Perfectly wanted to go SO BAD. Horseradish, Crab legs and nickel slots…..WHAT MORE COULD A GIRL WANT?? But, remember my wallet being at work? NO FREAKING IDENTIFICATION… I couldn’t get on the boat. I was sad. Mr. Perfectly, however, was thrilled that I wasn’t going to enter the brightly lit arena and throw his money down into machines that don’t readily give his money BACK. I’m like a raccoon…..shiny, and bright attracts me…..I don’t care if it doesn’t pay. So we left….and went home. Oh, we didn’t pay for dinner either….so other than some horseradish and a couple of sodas and gas…….we had a pretty fun FREE day of family adventure.

Yesterday, I did some laundry, washed some dishes, went grocery shopping. All the things that needed to be done (well not ALL of them, but at least I felt like I wasn’t TOTALLY gross by leaving EVERYTHING undone). I made my asian lettuce wraps, and we had a grand evening. Mr. Perfectly ran out to the local Democratic campaign office to pick up tickets for Joe Biden’s visit to Columbia Mo tomorrow. I fell asleep in the chair and was startled like YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE when he came home. I was so out of it, I asked him where he’d been…..he’d only been gone 20 minutes…… I toddled off to bed and didn’t even finish the DVR’d Big Brother.

My MOMMY is coming for a visit. I’m so excited. She’s coming for round #3 of Maddison’s birthday celebration this weekend…… I’ll have pictures and funny stories, I assume. She’s a dream boat…..and funny to boot! You’ll all love her as much as I do.

See you soon!


stoogepie said...

You look awesome in the pictures, so minerals and snot is obviously a good look for you.

I can't believe you got nine shirts for $45. And then, that you wound up getting them for free is even more unbelievable. I have some shirts I also got for free, but they all have holes in them where I ripped off the theft-control devices. If I could get shirts for $5, I might have some nice shirts without holes.

Love. That. Tractor!

I am so glad you love DICKS! That is one of the many reasons I love you.

You know, you can get DICKS online at You have to call or email Dick and Su but, just in case you can't find them sometime in the future, it's good to know you can find DICKS online.

Why the hell would you want to go to Farraddays when you could get unlimited butter-drenched crab legs at the Calypso’s Buffet, anyways? But I'm all with your mom-in-law on this one: why the hell go out to eat so just to serve yourself? Not me!

Let us know how Joe Biden works out. Also, I can't wait to meet your mom. I'm sure she's a doll just like you.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Thanks, Stoogie...I see where I didn't get DICKS website linked properly..I fixed it....

If you like horseradish, I'd highly recommend some!