Wednesday, September 24, 2008

An offer you can’t refuse

Well, maybe you CAN REFUSE, but hey…I got your attention, didn’t I?

Since it is festival time around here, I decided that if anyone wants any of the kitchy, crafty stuff that one finds at street festivals like wine bottle cheese boards and ribbon/star garland halos, just let me know, and I’ll go on the hunt for you.

The only issue I see cropping up is that whole ‘trust’ issue thing…..You know, we meet on the internet, and I’m a wanna be funny girl, but am I REALLY? Maybe I’m a gnarly 60 yr old man with nose hair looking for a new hostage…I mean companionship. Maybe I’m your RELATIVE that is stalking you.

Seriously, I’m just a wanna be funny girl---so you’d have to TRUST me with your mailing info and I’d have to trust you with mine (what….you think I’m gonna foot the BILL for all the loot?). You’d have to trust my judgment with your precious $1 for a halo, or $10 for the wine bottle…….because you know, what if I love it and you…not so much?

And, this would have to be under the approval of Mr. Perfectly---he’s the conservative one in this family---By the way, I’m totally SHOCKED that he’s pimpin’ for Stoogie’s sweepstakes! He doesn’t DO stuff like that……hey, go vote for his ‘best sports blog’. He nominated himself (another shocker).

I can’t think of a creative way to pimp the sweepstakes myself, so I’ll just do it. EVERYONE, VOTE FOR CRISSY AS HOTTEST MOMMY BLOGGER. IF YOU GO TO STOOGIE’S SITE, YOU’LL FIND INSTRUCTIONS AND REALLY, REALLY NEAT PRIZES WORTH NEARLY $600…LIKE A CAMERA, AND SIGNED BOOKS FROM MELISSA LION, AND A LOT OF OTHER STUFF……….PHOTOSHOP, A MEMORY DISK THINGY FOR THE CAMERA………

I must confess, I want Photoshop for my hubby---he has the free photo software but having the ‘real’ photoshop is his dream. I personally want MELISSA LION’S books! I have this secret fantasy of being all literary and bookish---of wearing peasant skirts and flowy tops in a coffee bar hearing really cool poetry (and ‘getting’ it)……having pale, emaciated authors as my friends---we could stay up drinking coffee and sharing our literary knowledge……..so to have signed copies of a real authors books totally makes me HOT----I mean, I’d highly look forward to receiving them!

I’ve been trying to think of a fun, catchy, creative way to pimp Stoogie’s sweepstakes, but I just can’t find the mojo……..Creativity doesn’t run like a river through my veins……….

Okay, so now I’ve accomplished a few things on my ‘to do’ list…..offer my festival services for your desire of crafty stuff, and to pimp Stoogie’s sweepstakes.

Happy Wednesday, everyone. GO VOTE FOR CRISSY----FOLLOW STOOGIE’S SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS. You may WIN big!!

6 comments:

Mr. Perfectly said...

Hey, you make me laugh.

Also, if you remember correctly your tiaras were $2 each. Your halo was free. :-)

Please tell me you are not a man. But wait if you were you could be your own gay friend, just what you want. Hmm, not sure I want to know where that would leave me. We won't get into discussing the nose hair.Y

Dingo said...

Somehow, this post and your pimping makes me think you could show the guy in those Oxyclean commercials a thing or two about selling! You almost make me want to buy a $1, I mean, $2 tiara and a squished coke bottle.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Mr. Perfectly--yes, the bead TIARA'S were $2, but these craft things also sell HALO'S and they are usually around $1 (although someone at the H & T festival was selling them for $3) which you use foil star garland (like for a christmas tree) and ribbons to make a very cute little halo.......

Duh........there's a DIFFERENCE in a halo and a tiara......!!!!

Dingo---I don't think I could compete with the dude with the REAL HAIR AND BEARD color that hawks Oxyclean........he's just UNBEATABLE.

When you said oxyclean, I thought you were referring to OXY acne cream for a sec........see, I've got ANOTHER zit the size of Montana under my nose (see a post in March about being Cute), and it HURTS and it is driving me CRAZY....I don't usually get zits anymore since I don't use liquid foundation anymore (minerals all the way, baby).....and I woke up Sunday with this DISGUSTING thing....and I'm self consious as well as in PAIN. So I saw "Oxy" and thought....hmmm...did I say somewhere that I had a zit, or is this information available from the Associated Press.....('This just in....Perfectly has ANOTHER under the nostril zit that is HUGE)......

Whew, I was much relieved to realize you meant the LAUNDRY booster, and not the acne cream.

stoogepie said...

I wanted to let you know that I was just on cnn.com and the top story there alleges that you have a zit under your nose.

I want apple butter.

I already have a halo. God gave it to me. But I had to bend over and work for it first, if you know what I mean.

Perfectly Shelly said...

I can run to the Mennonite run store and pick you up some apple butter----except it wasn't lovingly made by Mennonites by hand. I think it's manufactured and processed somewhere then shipped with cutsey Mennonite labels.

If I find hand made apple butter, I am SO buying some for you. You'll think of me every morning as you eat your apple butter toast.

Kristen said...

What's whith the apple butter? I hate apple butter.

I mean, ew.

Thanks to you and Mr. for the pimpage! I think he wants that stuff pretty badly if he was willing to even admit that his Wife reads our blogs.