Thursday, August 14, 2008

Thoughtful Thursdays

Okay, so 9th grade open house wasn’t as bad as I expected. There were less ‘perfect’ moms and more moms like me there, so I felt better. Jakki and I can now officially be 9th grade mom’s together since the two middle schools in town merge in the 9th grade building. Her ‘hottie’ of a son and my ‘hottie’ of a son will grace the same school for the first time since we’ve all known each other. The football boys came and joined the parents during the open house assembly---talk about a STINK. Son #2 and his best friend, Cameron, left their sweaty football clothes IN MY HOT CAR while we were in the open house. THE REEKING ODOR OF SWEATY 15 YR OLD BOY permeated my entire FORD EXPLORER—and those things are BIG…….oh….it was terrible. It was SO terrible it even grossed out my SON---and he’s the one who SMELLED like that…….I made him febreeze the vehicle and leave a window down all night….it was DISGUSTING.

I did, however, sit next to my Senior Prom Date, Nick, in Honors English (we went to each of the kids 1st semester classes for a 10 minute meet and greet). That was mildly awkward. Despite any progress made with self-esteem, and despite the fact Mr. Perfectly was in the seat in FRONT of me….I still wish I was the 17 yr old Perfectly—the tiny one that NICK went to prom with. Here I am, walking in looking for a seat near my son and husband and there’s the prom date……”Oh, hi, Nick…..”…..”Hello Perfectly.” I busied myself in reading ‘The Gift of the Magi” in the Literature textbook on the desk. I wasn’t paying attention to the teacher, either. Son #2 didn’t KNOW that was my senior prom date, so I told him. He laughed…he thinks it’s funny that I dated boys before Mr. Perfectly. He thinks it’s MORE funny that I run into these people at school.

Here’s an actual portion of a conversation I heard at work just a few minutes ago between a 70+ old, never married, file clerk, with a bunch of CATS and a 48 yr old examiner….it apparently was about his goatee…..this is the only part I overheard…..

MAN: “Yeah, when I shaved it off a few months ago, my wife told me I didn’t have a chin. That HURT my feelings, so I grew it back. I explained to her that I’ve picked up weight and it’s not that I don’t have a chin, it’s just moved DOWN (chuckle, chuckle)”

70+ old woman CO-WORKER: “Well, you tell her that an anonymous source said it was SEXY”

WTF? SERIOUSLY………I’m speechless. Speechless.

Here’s some puppy porn for your viewing pleasure!!!!! Isn’t he just about the CUTEST thing you’ve ever seen? (Oh, since you can’t see his face, you may not know who it is…..IT’S LESTER….Ph.D’s puppy)

Gotta run for now…..I’ll try (TRY) to post some of my senior prom pictures later….after I get home…….they are cute.

Oh--J-Money--If you read this...sorry for misspelling obsessively in my comments to you.....nothing more embarrassing, or more frequent than me misspelling a word in a pro writer's blog


stoogepie said...

I though at first that Lester was a picture of an uncooked chicken.

I thought you were going to post a recipe.

I went, "yum!"

Anyways, boys stink. It is one of many great things about boys. Stinking does not end for boys when they grow up. It's awesome.

I'm sure that Nick did not look exactly like his yearbook picture, either.

I bet that coworker who is 70+ years old is a hottie herself! Hey, she might have a goatee, too! Does she?

I'm looking forward to pictures later. Also, when will the striptease video be ready?

Perfectly Shelly said...

Awww, Stoogie.....Lester doesn't look like an uncooked chicken!!! That's the cutest spotted puppy belly I've seen FOREVER.

Unfortunately, Nick did look pretty much the same as he did sucked. I'd be much happier if he were bald and fat.

umm...the 70 yr old co-worker? nah, no goatee....but she does smell like Wind Song perfume and Right Guard spray deoderant.

I may chicken out on the Sweatin to the Oldies striptease......there's way too much jiggle in my wiggle, and I'm not sure I'm ready to let everyone else see it in it's glory.

My Life My Life My Life said...

I'm telling you..70+ coworker bee (surely she's not that old...surely not)paints an eyepatch and a sneer on at least one of those cats to make it more Johnny Deppish and then all bets are off...If I"m lying I'm I'm dying....


Kristen said...

Why do boys stink? Are they allergic to soap?

I want that puppy.

Give him to me.

I do not care what you have to do to get him.