Monday, August 18, 2008


Since I' such a good steward of all things food, and we have a plethora of peppers and tomatoes, I'm making fresh salsa.

Actually I'm lying-I'm NOT a good food steward. I waste alot--ALOT more than I should. We aren't very good about eating'd THINK with 2 teenage boys, I'd not have a bite of ANYTHING in this house....... but they are snack food junkies, and leave the good stuff alone. I just threw away half of an ice cream cake.......remember the one from last week that acutally has NO CAKE? YEAH, that one. Nobody has eaten any more of it and it was taking up precious freezer space. If I could ever AFFORD a refrigerator that wasn't 2nd hand (except, thanks dad.....the fridge is AWESOME), I will NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER buy a side by side fridge/freezer. I can't even fit a frozen PIZZA in really stinks......I'm happy we have a good fridge and all, but WTF? Who can't put frozen PIZZA in it? If I could, I'd buy one of those armoire ones....the ones that open on EACH SIDE on the top, and have the big cavernous freezer below? You know which ones I mean? Yeah....some people fantasize about sex...I fantasize about refrigerators and food.

Anyway, back to the salsa. Mr. Perfectly LLOOVVEESSS him some salsa. Especially lovingly, made from scratch salsa. Even MORE especially, ones with more habanero peppers in it than ANY human should be able to consume. I don't have a recipe....I usually don't...the ones I put out here for you guys are just hopeful guesses.....I'm a dumper....I dump until it tastes good. Except, I can't taste Mr. Perfectly's salsa since it has 2 HABENERO peppers in it.....SEEDS AND ALL......oh, and 2 tiny jalapeno peppers that came from our very own little plant. I bit a tiny piece of one to see how spicy it was to guage how much to put in to the wussy salsa I'm also making....and HOOOOEEEEEEEEE----EEEEEEE That little sucker was hot. I put 2 tiny peppers in the wussy salsa and 2 tiny peppers and 2 habenero's in the MANLY salsa. I'm not certain I'll be able to eat the wussy salsa either.......

But anyway, here is my version of salsa:

1 med onion diced
1 med/lg sweet bell pepper (we had yellow today)
tomatoes.....(this is the tricky part--I used a qt baggie of cherry ones and then probably 2-4 large fresh tomatoes in'll have to look and see how much salsa you are making)
1T kosher salt
fresh ground pepper (to taste)
2 jalapeno peppers (seeds out if you like it milder)
splash (and I mean scant splash) vinegar
1T sugar

Sweat the onions and peppers until soft....add all other ingredients and cook until the cherry tomatoes cook down and explode......(If you use them).......let cool and eat.

That's it folks......I don't use cilantro....blech (but YOU can)....and the fresh, sweet tomatoes with a little spice makes a PERFECT salsa--I use yellow and red tomatoes, so my salsa never looks gourmet or's usually some shade of orange due to the variety of tomatoes we get from Perfectly's dad. Due to the yellow peppers, todays may end up more golden.....DO NOT LET THIS THROW YOU OFF if it doesn't look like what comes from a JAR. It won't look like that...but it will taste better.....that is if you like the freshness of tomatoes, peppers and onions cooked together. Remember---if you want it saltier, use more salt...if you want it hotter, use more chilie peppers, or a variety of peppers, if you want it milder, then use LESS chilie peppers----my recipe is just a guess of how I throw stuff together.

The weekend was good. I took son #2 here at the Lake of the Ozarks for breakfast. I know alot of you live in New York City, and in other places where dining is superb, but I live in small city USA where Applebees is considered fine dining. We spent $36 (with tip) FOR BREAKFAST (Oh, Honey....see the salsa in the kitchen? Go look at the SALSA....REALLY, you don't have to keep reading......GO. TO. THE. SALSA). BREAKFAST. We think it's high roller day when we go to Mel's or Dudley's in town and have to spend $5.95 for the morning special. Anyway, son #2 and I sipped overly sweetened (at our hands) coconut creme coffee and he ate fancy schmancy 'banana's foster french toast' and I had some sort of flatbread thingy with eggs, sausage and parmasean cheese.......yes, it was WONDERFUL...I was going to bring the 1/2 I couldn't eat back home to Mr. Perfectly (hey,'s the SALSA?) and the waitress took it away as I was viewing the bill (slackjawed), and I forgot to ask for a BOX......and she didnt' OFFER....I suppose the mimosa "LAKE" set doesn't bother with taking leftovers of an $11 breakfast home. Son #2 ate every bite of his banana's foster french toast, and I ate a couple of bites, was it awesome.......WHISKEY, I may need some coaching on how to make the perfect brown sugar/caramel sauce that isn't too burned, or too thick...........I hope you read this, cause I could EASILY get the bananas and french toast, but that caramel sauce? I'm a rookie......

We went to the Osage Beach Outlet Mall and exchanged and bought some school things. Then he went to the farm to mow Perfectly's Dad's yard. I was going to go home and do chores or get school supply lists made (yes, I put it off til the DAY BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS---HUGE MISTAKE), but Perfectly's dad decided that I was going to help him. ME? HELP ON THE FARM? DOING STUFF THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE CUDDLING BABY KITTENS? So, I drove his truck backwards (not an easy task for me) towards a tractor that doesn't work. He hooked up a chain to the truck AND the tractor. I had to PULL HIM THROUGH THE YARD to get the tractor PRIMED to ROLL down a grade and eventually up onto a trailer. I drove the truck down through the field to the trailer, and he hooked it up. I drove the truck WITH THE TRAILER back up to the house......and with his instruction positioned the trailer lower on the driveway so the tractor could be rolled onto it. HEH, HEH....HERE'S THE KICKER, FOLKS. He expected ME to sit on the dead tractor and ride it, steer it, and BRAKE when it was rolled onto the trailer. Okay, now that you've cleaned up the coffee or liquor you've spewed through your nose, I'll continue.

He told me where the brake on this ancient tractor was, and proceeded to get my son and PUSH ME....IN NEUTRAL....ON THE TRACTOR towards the looming trailer........"FASTER....FASTER.....but not TOO FAST" (surreal coming from my Dad), and HEAVE--HO up the trailer.....then it stoppped. "BBRRRAAKKKKKKKEEEEEE" I I brake....then we spent the next few minutes with "ON" "OFF" for braking signals so dad and son could push this tractor up the trailer (WITH ME ON IT) was SCARY......then he drove it to the repair shop and I went to watch FoodTV INSIDE, where I belong.

I got home to make jambalya for dinner, and also buy school supplies. Luckily, they didn't need alot (actually, I'd picked up a few things here and there recently), so I schelpped to the Wal-mart, where they didn't have any filler paper. Now, explain to me how WAL MART....the largest retailer in the world doesn't have FILLER PAPER on the day before school starts? I wasn't asking for anything fancy, or unreasonable...just some paper! They had folders to put said paper INTO, but no paper. Oh...and no normal highlighter pens. I bought some that had designs on them, and was informed by my son that they were 'GIRL' highlighters. Sigh.

I found a line that wasn't a billion people long and stood to wait. Of course, I picked the line where people buy CIGARETTES. Uh, huh....I did. I stood behind a woman with 3 children swarming around her......she bought a pepsi, a pack of trident and some smokes..........used her Wal Mart gift card that the clerk couldn't make work and she was still $1.50 short. The people behind me were kin to her, because she firstly tried to get them to get into line with THEIR FULL CART with her, and leave me in their dust (which they politely didn't do......maybe because of the DAGGERS I was shooting from my nostrils), and secondly because the BAREFOOTED CHILDREN with her kept bothering her while she was buying her smokes and she kept asking them to go back with 'their parents'. So, anyway, while she's digging for pennies, the little girl goes back to whomever, and gets the dollar fifty. I was already frustrated by the lack of freaking SCHOOL SUPPLIES, and I really, REALLY try not to judge, but holy crap. If you are pinching pennies for your cigs, then DON'T BUY THE PEPSI AND GUM........if you are worried you may not have enough, then PUT THE EXTRA'S BACK........and WHY were these kids BAREFOOTED IN WAL MART?? EWWWWWWW. Dirty little feet from the dirty floor........aaaarrrggghhhhh. Buy shoes, not smokes!!!

I think my dog may have flipped me off in his little canine way......I let them out and Buster was barking to come back in. Copper was sunning himself on the patio. Buster BOUNDS into the house expecting a treat, and I called Copper...and he looked over his doggie shoulder at me like " want me to GET UP? AND COME IN??" And then he haughitly looked I left him out. Then some truck drove by and he went all crazy with barking and came in anyway..........DOGS.......

Off for now....have a good monday!

Edited: The salsa is nearly PERFECT.......maybe leave out the sugar....the peppers and tomatoes are sweet If I had to change something, that would be it......yummmmyyyyyy.


Dingo said...

It sounds like an incredibly busy and delicious weekend! But tell me, did shooting daggers from your nostrils hurt? And how do you reload?

I can't shop at Wal-Mart without bringing down a heap of curses upon all humanity.

Perfectly Shelly said..., it didn't hurt any more than those poor babies bare feet IN WAL MART did...

and to re-load?? Just go BACK to wal-mart to check up on humanity. They re-load themselves.