Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Well Crap. Crappity Crap

I shaved a big hunk of my eyebrow off this morning. Yes I did.

Since the chemical burn of March, I decided a more responsible means of hair removal would be one of those little pen sized razors that you see Beautiful people with no Body Hair using on TV. You know, the ones that you can pick up for $9.99? I headed to Wal-Mart in search of a golf umbrella and a personal shaver.

I found the little pen sized personal shaver, but RIGHT NEXT TO IT, for a mere $10 more was THIS. Who WOULDN'T want 5 attachments and GUARDS for eyebrow and more 'delicate' grooming? Huh? Huh? So I bought it. Carefully retaining my receipt, because in the back of my brain I KNEW it wouldn't work well.

I plugged it in last night, and realized, quite impatiently, that it has to CHARGE. So this morning, I woke up with TWO things on my mind....my federal REBATE was supposed to be direct deposited today, AND I was gonna try out my nifty little groomer.

I started with the actual shaver...with the screen. I have these fine little downy hairs that grow on my face/neck. On my face, they dont' bother me so much, but the neck does (hence chemically burning myself in March). So I switched to the little straight edged razor (like you see on the $9.99 ones) and boy it REALLY worked.....so I put the guard over it and went to groom my eyebrows. My eyebrows are thick, and bushy...I thought maybe this neat little trimmer would help me keep them from looking like overgrown weeds! I was carefully running the guard over my brows when guess what? The GUARD fell off. WTF? I didn't originally know I'd hunked off my eyebrow...I was trying to figure out the guard thingy, and glanced in the mirror and GASPED. Shit, now what? I yelled for Mr. Perfectly. He can fix ANYTHING. He tilted my head back, and pronounced that it looked like I'd shaved a hunk out of my eyebrow, and he wasn't TOUCHING it.

I nearly called in to work---to find a salon that opens early for a quick fix. Then I decided to calmly try to repair what I could, trim the other eyebrow so I didn't look wildly cockeyed and mismatched (which I do, but let's pretend I did a good job of evening them out), and pulled my bangs down lower than normal and went to work. 20 minute late, but I made it. So here I sit, with a shaved brow and a butchered self-esteem

Happy freaking Wednesday.

Sincerely,
PerfectlyShelly
who is apparently destined to be hairy and self consious the REST OF HER LIFE.

5 comments:

Teresa said...

You better hope you don't get mistaken for a gang member. Apparently shaving off part of your eyebrow is a gang symbol.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Yeah, I already thought about that. They may send me home to pencil in the bald spot.

I'm banking on an overweight white girl with no style not being mistaken for the newest gang wanna-be.

Teresa said...

Well, then maybe you could start your own gang for overweight white girls. Call yourselves the "Cellulitie Whities".

Dana said...

Unless you have caterpillars above your eyes, you should refrain from electronic brow-shavers. Those things frighten me.

DrM2B said...

this must be the week for eyebrow mishaps.....i made the mistake of thinking i could 'quickly clean them up"...w/ yes... one of those little razor thingy's....

um..yeah....they are BOTH shorter & father away from their starting horizontal line.....due to the "well.i can just even the other one out & no one will notice"....

i think u need to post a picture...