Friday, May 9, 2008

How to stalk co-workers and embarass people

Start by entering a conference room with 2 people serving popcorn to the department staff. (these are employees in the department) Greet people that you BARELY know.

Practically PURR into the ear of one of the popcorn baggers "I love your hair"

See her expression, yet DON'T shut up

Purr some more---"everytime I see you, I notice your HAIR...it's so pretty"

Nervous laughter---from both of us...tell her how you 'Love the color and how SHINY it is'

Some more nervous tittering--make some weird passing reference about acting like a stalker.

Continue to go ON about her HAIR!!!

Popcorn bagger is turning RED....but do you stop? OH NO.

You carefully reach out and PET the hair. Yes. You. Do.

By this time Jakki had a bag of popcorn and was settling in to watch the show.

Lean over conference room chair, because you are embarassed, and giggle like a CRAZY ASS.

Have poor popcorn bagger discuss how she thinks her hair is stick straight and she can't do ANYTHING with it....and say....

"Well, I guess we all want what we can't have"

Oh, Yeah. That's how to do it.

4 comments:

My Life My Life My Life said...

This is the most I've laughed in a long azz time. I'm sorry it was at your expense but you have to admitt, it was too funny.

Kristen said...

Oh my GOD! You would SO FIT IN where I work.

Well, not really with everyone exactly, but with 2 of us and we're the only cool ones anyway so you could hang with us.

Perfectly Shelly said...

My Life--yes, it was too funny. We laugh like that ALOT at work...so it hadn't been THAT long...and fortunately, normally it is at YOUR expense, not mine,so it was okay.

Kristen--Jakki and I are the only cool ones where we work, too. Nobody ELSE realizes it, but I'm glad YOU do!!

Whiskeymarie said...

It's like we're living the same moments. I do odd stuff like this all of the time & I have NO idea why.