Thursday, May 22, 2008

First off, I’d like to thank God. And my parents. And my fabulous children….oh yeah, and Mr. Perfectly.

I HAVE FANS. Yes, I do! Someone out there in the internet world MISSES me. Woo Hoo….it’ll be a 2 GLASS OF WINE night tonight!

I have so much, yet so little to say. So, I’ll get right to it.

Has anyone noticed that ‘peach flavored’ stuff has a cat pee presence to it? Yeah, I’m drinking a peach/mango bottled juice drink, and keep thinking Joe peed on something of mine (I was hoping it was my purse so I could get another).

Yesterday, we went to have brake work done on our vehicle (a 2002 Ford explorer). We took it to a smaller community 15 miles from us. And folks, if you ever need something done go to NATHANS in California, MO. I got the rear brakes replaced, the rotors turned (what the hell are rotors??), an alignment and an oil change…………..all to the tune of……drummroll, please……………..$144.58. I nearly fell out of my chair. Local places start at $110.00 or so per axle for brakes……….. I am so IN LOVE with NATHAN’S, I can’t see straight.

My baby graduates from 8th grade tomorrow. We get to go sit in a HOT gym with 350 pubescent 14 year olds (oh, the sweaty STINK). Half of which are girls in their spring finery---and the boys in their slouchy khaki’s cussing their moms for making them wear a polo…….A really funny story about my baby----yesterday a gal at work was browsing through her niece’s yearbook. My boss was flipping through it and they were laughing at the girl’s remarks left over MANY photos…….lots of them not so nice (Lezbo, run for your life, skank, ) and other things like (Susie’s boyfriend…..bff……REAL BFF, etc) and over my son’s 8th grade photo, in the yearbook was this……”HOT”. So apparently my son is a hottie….this girl isn’t the first stranger I’ve heard thru the grapevine that thinks he’s ‘HOT’

My 17 yr old son is dealing with teenage angst of not getting his way in life JUST BECAUSE. OMG, he’s so much like me it’s scary! He ‘lost’ his track hoodie….and his coach has been on him to bring it in or pay for it…He’s all indignant……and uppity, and feels like coach doesn’t give him ‘credit’…..Sigh…..

We are going for an outing on Saturday---8 people in a van. 8…..I’ll let that all sink in……8. We are driving 3 hours to go grave visiting, see my brother…then drive back to a cousin’s house for a party. It will be a lot of fun, but the old insecurities rear their ugly head…….My cousins are young, and very cute and very perfect---I’m sure that they AREN’T but they seem so………and I feel like the fat outsider that they just tolerate on family events. I end up being all earnest and chatty, and feel like I’m a creepy stalker or something……..eeeeekkkkk. I keep shopping for that ONE cute item that will make me fit in……..and alas, nothing that I buy makes me look like the picture I have of myself in MY HEAD. The one with no imperfections, and that can boldly carry off cute shoes (my fat feet hang off the sides), a large tote/purse with ALL the right stuff tucked inside (not pads, 27 free pens and hand sanitizer), a cute swingy top (that makes me look fat and My ARMS…oh the arms), some cute Bahama type long-ish shorts….(but the pasty white legs…….eeek) HELP ME INTERNET….I do not want to be the elastic jean short…appliqué t-shirt wearing crazy cousin!

Oh and right now, this very moment, I’m eating FUNYUNS. I’ve had coffee, too, so come on over and let me whisper sweet FUNYUNS in your ear…..I should have waited and tortured the parents around me in the smelly gym tomorrow!!

And thanks Kristin for missing me. That makes up for not making out with you in return for my vodka drink recipe!!!


Lynne said...

I missed you too! I know how hard it can be to come up with something brilliant to post every day so I figured you were taking a little breaky. If it makes you feel any better, I ALWAYS feel like an outsider no matter where I go. And, nothing ever looks right on me (or at least the way I think it should). I'm glad you're back - I love reading your blog!

My Life My Life My Life said...

Well lady, considering we are both in the same PMS mood today with everyone who BREATHES in our office...FUNYUN away...

Kristen said...

I have noticed the same thing about the peach flavored stuff. Weird.

I never look the way I think I should in clothes. It's depressing and disappointing.

I always feel like the biggest freak show in the room and that everyone tolerates me just to be nice.


Perfectly Shelly said...

Lynne--Yeah, I took a lazy breaky---one of looking at the computer thinking "I should say something witty today".....then think...nahhhhh.

My life--You probably got the worst of it, since you were in here while I ATE funyuns....sorry.

Kristin--we should ALL quit with the biggest freak in the room...because I suffer from that illness too, and it maybe we should start a NEW sickness "THE PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS and all the ugly OTHERS".