Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I fought the bed

And the bed won. I went to bed last night wound tighter than a top, I guess. At one point, I found my NECK muscles clenched in some sort of war with my jaw. I didn’t even KNOW I was so tense until stabbing pain forced me to try to relax all my muscles from head to toe……..

SOMEONE, although I won’t mention suspects (Buster) puked in the bed at some point yesterday and we couldn’t find our spare king sized sheet. How can you LOSE a sheet? A KING sheet? The blankets and fitted sheet were spared, and since I’m lazy (albeit NOT tired), I decided to not totally strip the bed….we just removed the offending sheet and replaced it with two full size sheets that Mr. Perfectly dug up from somewhere.

I proceeded to watch INVESTIGATORS on TruTV, and was bored out of my mind. I decided to just go on to sleep. As I lay there, under a strange sheet, one of the dogs, that shall remain unnamed (Buster) was obsessively licking his butt. LICK, LICK, LICK, JIGGLE BED, JIGGLE BED, JIGGLE BED….SNAP AT HUMAN WHEN SHE TRIES TO STOP THE BUTT LICKING….LICK, LICK, LICK…….rinse and repeat. I hollered at Mr. Perfectly to call Buster—which he kindly did. Buster took off like the wind to see what fun awaited him in the LIVING ROOM…..and proceeded to come right back and hang out in the bed with me. My neck clenched, and him butt licking.

Oh, on a side note, I saw that my other dog, Copper isn’t as stupid as he pretends to be. Buster is a ‘delicate’ (translates into spoiled) little guy. When we got our new bed last May, it’s much taller than the one it replaced. Buster has a hard time jumping up on the bed, and since he thinks the bed is HIS, his ability to get up there is quite important to him. We decided that the ‘doggy steps’ that you can buy were too over the top, so we just inverted a laundry basket, and draped a blanket over it and call it a step…….Buster uses it faithfully. He whines when he thinks Copper is on the bed…….and we all have to go in and re-assure him that Copper is no where to be seen. Yesterday, however, I realized that Copper may be using strong arm intimidation on Buster when we aren’t there. I went to change my clothes after work and found Copper quietly laying on the LAUNDRY BASKET STEP. Just laying there. Like, ‘I DARE you to jump while I am here…..nah nah nah nah nah nah.” I didn’t ask the shelter if he had any mob connections when we picked him………maybe I should have.

So, anyway, last night I tossed and turned and could not get relaxed all night. By the time I woke up this morning, my misfit sheet was all bunched up around my neck and upper body, and one of the two blankets I use was all twisted up to my side. Buster was still snoozing at my side—at least the butt licking stopped at some point.

I have no idea what had me so pumped…I went out for dinner with Teenie, and we went to Sally Beauty to try to find that pretty gold nail polish I liked….with no luck, but she managed to find some hair shine stuff, and some fake hair that she thought would be fun to use. She got it in slightly a different hair color than her own and decided to color her hair to match the fake piece. According to her woeful e-mail first thing this morning, it didn’t work. I told her to take her fake hair to the salon and tell them “this is what I was going for” and then to point at her head and say “this is what I got…….please help”. I think they’ll take pity on her.

Oh, did you KNOW that they sell stuff at Sally Beauty that says it’s a PLACENTA hair treatment? Is it REALLY placenta? Because, there would be NO WAY, I’d condition my hair with my OWN placenta, let alone ones that once belonged to other people…..or animals..or whatever……….I wonder if people get paid to donate placenta….kind of like platelets? It makes me shudder to think of it.

Anyway, I drank Pepsi for dinner…..2 pepsi’s for dinner, so maybe the extra caffeine got me wired…I don’t know……but hopefully tonight I’ll sleep….. hopefully I’ll be totally unaware of any butt licking or weird sheets…….

Today is son #2’s first track meet……..he runs some sprints and the hurdles……..son #1 has an out of town meet, that we won’t attend since we’ve got the conflict….I’m excited to see how it goes. I’ll post pictures another time………Mr. Perfectly takes awesome action shots.

No comments: