Tuesday, April 22, 2008

To short or not to short and Social Faux Pas...comments most welcomed

What do you think of women wearing shorts? According to Oprah's fashion-in-the-know guests and thanks to shows such as "What Not To Wear", women, regardless of size or shape shouldn't wear shorts. That they aren't stylish or becoming.

Ok, now what do you think about heavy women wearing shorts? Not just the "Oh, I need to loose 20 lbs" set, but truly heavy, obese women (and people) wearing them? And obese is not being used as a slam, but as a true medical term to reference and diagnose weight.

Now, what do you think of when you see truly obese people wearing shorts and tops that are too small? That don't fit well? That show the rolls? I mean distinctly--when heavy it's hard to camouflage it...so I mean terribly ill fitting items? You know who I mean....the stereotypical 'wal-martians'--the ones that look unwashed? That look just---well---gross?

Ok, that leads me to my question...I'm seriously overweight. I wear shorts--and sometimes they may not be very flattering. I don't wear too tight shorts, but I wear the nylon 'swishy' type shorts, denim shorts or khaki shorts (the green or tan variety) I shower daily, and my hair is clean--on weekends I don't always wear makeup (hence the eyelash tinting of a week ago Saturday). I run around town looking like a slob--my swishy shorts and a t-shirt. Flip flops or tennies.....In the winter I wear sweats and t-shirts and tennies....I call it my UNIFORM. Now, to go to work, I wear pants and a shirt (yes, they match) and flat shoes..(I cannot do heels)...to go out, I try to put a semblance of 'cuteness' to my outfit. If you ran into me at the grocery in my 'uniform', would you think I was gross, smelly and out of place?

I often wonder as I watch these 'style' shows....do people in other places really 'dress' like the 'What not to Wear' people? It concerns me on several levels. First, my shorts/sweats and t-shirt are COMFY; Second, they are generally inexpensive; Third, it's hard to find that combo of not slutty, not grungy, not MATRONLY and fitting; and lastly what I wear is COMFY......

I'm intimidated by so called 'style'. I can't afford high dollar brands, and comfort, multi-use and ease of washing are important to me.....Why do the style shows say that we will be JUDGED for the swishy shorts and t-shirts? That we won't garner RESPECT of others looking like a mess? And most importantly, why, if it's 95 degrees and 100% humidity, shouldn't I be cool in shorts? They are my size, and the fit fine...do my thighs offend THAT much?

Another thing about 'style'.....it's kind of, well.....sweaty......I mean, if one is heavy, then one may have the rubbing together of thighs, and breasts......a flirty skirt is NOT what I have in mind to remain cool as a cucumber....how does one combat THAT issue in an effort to be CUTE? I am not opposed to skirts, but for me....well....I prefer dry and leg holes to moist and skirts. Can anyone else relate? Do thinner people have the same issues but are better at hiding it? Is there a SECRET?? If so, PLEASE let me know. Skirts are inexpensive, versatile and CUTE....

My BFF's don't wear shorts, and they are both smaller than me. I feel sort of self-conscious when they relate how they look so 'terrible' in shorts.....UMMMM...Hello....I'm bigger and I'm in shorts....is this a TEST? Is it a gentle reminder? I just don't know how to manage my comfort, and being cute. And heavy CAN be cute...I've SEEN it......I just don't know how to DO it.

I'm sorry for dumping a plethora of style issues on you, but I just don't know what to do......try for cute and the risks involved, or stick with what I know, and what has been working and be judged by Others?

I'm looking forward to the evening....the fam is on their OWN for dinner (leftovers) and I'm reading, watching Big Brother, and drinking the rest of a bottle of cheap, but tasty sparkling wine from a Missouri winery. It's 80 degrees, sunny, the windows are open (ACHOOOO) and life is good.

Oh, did I commit a social sin? I have fretted about this for the last 24 hours. While at a track meet last evening, I was sitting with 2 other mothers that I know, but not well. One of them lives in my town, but works in another community 30 miles away. I began making plans with one mother to possibly car-pool to another track meet on Wednesday. I took her number and we chatted about who likes to drive and who doesn't and why. I neglected to INCLUDE the third mother in the car-pool plans....because MY mind was telling me she'd probably leave from work in the other town....I wasn't trying to be RUDE, but HOW often have I been on the 'outside' wishing others would include me in their plans? How do I make amends? Do I just pretend I didn't realize I may have been RUDE and INSENSITIVE? Oh my....this worries me.

Alright, Internet, I'm looking for advice from the wise...HEELLPPPP!!!!


My Life My Life My Life said...

Considering I am one of those who dont believe that anyone over the age of 12 should be in shorts...I'm going to skip that part.

My dear, I'm sure the other mother did not take offense at your plan making but to ease the thought that you might have hurt someone feelings, why not give her a call and say 'hey, the other night, when we were talking.....' and lead into it that way.

Christy said...

I don't know what to think about the shorts...I would not consider myself the picture of style (I try to stay somewhat current, but I DO NOT live and breathe fashion by any means). It's hard to imagine hanging out in 95 degree heat, and not wearing shorts, but what's the suggested alternative?

As for the social faux pas, I always vote for the direct approach. I think you should just maybe offer an apology, talk to her & explain the situation--it's no big deal, really.

Love your honesty!

Anonymous said...

I would say it's not a question of shorts vs. not, I would say that it is a question of something fitting properly that has some flair. They even have style at Target these days so $ shouldn't be an issue.
I am about 30lbs heavier than I should be and really out of shape so I no longer wear tight shirts(or no shirt) but I am not going to start wearing a tent.
Weight shouldn't be the issue, style and fit are the only real considerations.
P.S. This comes from a guy that shows very little style at this point.