I'm applying for the job of Crissy's Stalker---as she requested. I posted some job qualifications on her blog, but it's RUDE to take up THAT much space in someone's comments, so I thought I'd put my resume/qualifications on MY blog so she can make an informed decision.
Oh, I am quite flexible, so if by happenstance, you need a stalker in YOUR life, then give me a jingle......I'm sure I can fit more than one stalkeree in my life.
I am uniquely qualified to be your stalker, as I do this on a regular basis and have done so all my life. I am not a creepy stalker, or a stalker wanting to see you NEKKID, but one who only wants to have as MANY BFF's in her life as possible.
I am also qualified to be a Princess Stalker, as some of my attributes will show...I can be as Entitled and Princess-ish as the next stalker.
Like when I was a kid and ran after people to walk to school with me that I thought left me behind!
Like my ability to call your home, work and cell phones and send a text in mere SECONDS hoping to catch up with you do stuff, or to chat!
Like when I was in high school, and I drove by my then boyfriend's car a millionty times while he was out of town to just 'see' the car......
Like when I get my feelings hurt when you have plans with your FAMILY instead of me.
Like not needing speed-dial on old fashioned phones since my fingers can dial and redial numbers lightning fast!
My uncanny ability to remember phone numbers in general.
My uncanny ability to remember things you tell me, no matter how insignificant.
My uncanny ability to have hours long phone conversations about such riviting topics as Dogs and Teenagers.
My use of google to find shit out.
Like how I KNOW I shouldn't call back within 10 minutes after calling all your known numbers and texting you, but I do anyway, JUST IN CASE you may not have gotten my messages or noticed your missed calls.
Like my desire to just email you to see what you are doing....and have you respond.
and the biggest of all? I stalk MYSELF looking for return e-mails, and comments to my blog. I check my own e-mail like WAAAYYYY too often to see if you've communicated with me in some way....to see if my posts were witty and made you laugh, or if you think I'm insightful and intelligent!
Yes, I know. My mad skillz are enough to make the tens of you that read my blog RACING to have me be your own stalker. You all will be vying to be first in my e-mails and comments.
MelissaLion? I know you are just DYING to have me stalk YOU too........
I know it's amazing that a busy Wife, Mom and employee would have the TIME to acquire such an impressive list of stalker skills, but I multi task well, and have learned how to accomplish much while doing other tasks. Like checking my e-mail and Sitemeter!!
I'll be awaiting your applications!! I can't WAIT to see the traffic this awesome post brings to my site!!
Toodles for now!!
I appreciate your consideration
Oh, my references? I'll provide them upon request. They will be from Teenie, Jakki and Ph.D!!