Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Garage Door....how to make an ass of one's self.

So, I call the po-po because my nice neighbor's garage door was open all day. I could have gone and pushed the button, but was afraid of entering someone's property. When I left for work this morning, it was safely shut.

Mr. Perfectly and I pigged out on a Chinese Buffet lunch, and I came home early....to do some stuff. And the fact it's 75, sunny in NOVEMBER made me spring feverish. But thats beside the point.

I got home after stuffing my face with MSG and green beans......to find my neighbor happily waving hello from his yardwork (which I NEVER do). I stepped over to talk to him and told him about the garage door. I told him how I didn't want to meddle in people's bidness.....and that I was sorry if the call caused him any issues. He seemed surprised, and we exchanged numbers in case something like that would happen again...as we chitchatted, and I told him REPEATEDLY that I am not a nosy neighbor we got on the topic of our VERY nosy old man neighbor. BLAH...BLAH...BLAH...BLAH...as is the norm I couldn't keep my mouth from running.

I didn't say anything bad, really...just that the old guy gets annoying and I dont' like it when he corners my kids and gripes to them about life in general. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Oh, I certainly don't want to be be thought of as nosy.....blah blah blah.

I think the guy thought I was a nut job. And too late!! HE'D ALREADY GIVEN ME HIS NUMBER. whoopsie!!

I asked him personal questions....well, not like PERSONAL PERSONAL, but stuff like "are you going to move in or are you just flipping the place?"...like it's any of my business!!!! What I was trying to find out is in the future, if there are house issues again, will he even be AROUND......not that I care if he lives there or not.

Hopefully he could see my earnest face, and knew I was just making nervous chatter. Crap. Another possible friend down the tubes.

So, now I'll have to be on my best behavior and not run outside in my nightshirt after the dogs, or scream at the television with the windows open, or yell at my kids from a few feet away to STOP TEXTING ME FROM THE SAME DAMN HOUSE........I'll have to live a proper, quiet life for a while in hopes that the poor dude doesn't think he's next door to the 'REAL' nosy neighbor.

The odd thing is that after our dialogue of the nosy old man, he mentioned that the guy had already been up there telling him about the garage door!! WTF?? He acted all surprised and whatnot when I was telling my story..........maybe he was just being polite and didn't want me to know that Nosy man had been up there probably talking about ME? I don't know....it always makes me suspicious when people that already know something, don't just come right out and say so.......they have a whole conversation with you...about something they already knew. It's weird.

But I have to say as I was turning into my cracked up driveway, I did sing "nah nah nah nah nah' to the McCain/Palin signs still in peoples yards. Not this guy's yard, mind you...I'd have left his door UP for that infraction........hahahahaha...just joking.....sort of.

So, Mr. Neighbor........I'm sorry for coming across as a whacko crackpot with a never ending spew of words coming forth from my pie hole. I promise, I really am nice, and I do try to be cute and funny.......so PULLEEEZZEE give me another chance and dont' change your phone numbers!!!

2 comments:

Kristen said...

I'm sure he doesn't think you're an ass.

Just a nut.

Kate said...

There's always singing and dancing on our front porch and the crazy quilting ladies who watch the whole neighborhood finally think we're just entertaining, not whacked. It just takes time.