Monday, October 13, 2008

Fashion Challenged

Holy Crapola, Batman....there's alot of SCARY choices for the larger set out there. All I want is an orange or yellow long sleeve tee shirt to go under a decade old sweater that I only wear in October. It's a Liz Claiborne, and I got it eons ago for like $3.99 at Dillards, and it looks like candy corn. It's black with orange, white and yellow stripes in it. It's great for October and October only. My white tee shirt is pretty dingy, so all I want is a new one...preferably in yellow or orange to shake the look up a bit.

I went to Cato (which I REALIZE is awfully ho-bag-ish), but they have a large selection of plus sized clothing. EVERYTHING that caught my eye was babydoll----sweaters, tunics those love/hate dress/shirt THINGS to wear over leggings.....and yes....they had leggings. LEGGINGS......with BABYDOLL......I LOVE IT.....and I just doubt my ability to pull it off. I'm FAT, people.....I'm large busted, which doesn't HELP the whole look!! Oh, so I went on to K-mart for a simple tee shirt...and what do they have THERE? The safari look. I could star on Wild Kingdom!!

I need help, internet! I don't have ANY fashion sense, and I want to be CUTE and comfy.....I don't do tight, or must be COMFORTABLE (hence the draw to knit leggings and long tunic top dress thingies.....)

Oh, and KMart? Yea, they had orange tee shirts, but they were STUPID ones with "trick or treat" emblazoned on the breast......sheesh.......I am old, but help me out here witches or pumpkins or snowmen or puppies on the shirt. Or wolves. Or Precious Moments.......shall I go on?

Oh, and for those of you in the fashion 'know'....what the hell happened to the skinny pants coming back? In Cato they had legs SO HUGE that with them put together it looks like a long skirt. No....REALLY. The legs had HUGE diameter.......and again, on a 5'2" fat girl....that is EWWWWW. Really......EWWW. I know I'm fooling myself to think that a legging helps slim me, but it MAKES ME FEEL BETTER to see the small diameter of leggings as opposed to the pizza pan sized legs of some of the pants.

Today is son #1's 18th birthday. I haven't gotten him anything yet. We are stumped. He's not happy with us either. He wants a new phone, but that seems so lame these days. Maybe just throw a wad of cash at him.........

I guess I'm just in a funk.......and I need HELP WITH cute people! Cute birthday ideas, cute clothes...........sigh.

I'm off to more stores to see if I can find tee shirts with nothing on them. Good luck, me.

Bye for now!


Dingo said...

I remember Wild Kingdom!! Hey, if you went as Jim from Wild Kindgon, couldn't you have Mr. Perfectly follow you around all night narrating your every move like Marlin Perkins. Did I just reveal how very, very old I am to remember that?

Tawny said...

I usually find plain basic long sleeve or short sleeve solid tees at - Walmart, Lane Bryant, Dress Barn or Torrid.

Hope this helps in your search.

Kristen said...

Oh I wish I could help you but holy crap. I don't know what to wear either.

Nothing out there really appeals to me. I do not understand any of the stuff in the store right now. I feel like I'm too old to wear 90% of the stuff.

stoogepie said...

Just wear underwear. Nothing else.

Or don't wear underwear.

That's all I got.

Can we talk about your bras some more?