The Zoo I call Life

I live in a nutty, nutty world.

I'd like to point out a few things that are CRAZY in my life. I don't do bullet points, so y'all will have to deal with it my way...the not computer literate way.

1) My oldest son (whose now in college) doesn't want to talk to me. Unless he needs something. Like how to bake a frozen pizza without a pan. THE INSTRUCTIONS SAY HE NEEDS A PAN...HE DOESN'T HAVE A PIZZA PAN. What should he do? Can he bake it right on the rack? AM I SURE IT WILL BE OKAY BAKED RIGHT ON THE RACK??? Really sure????

2) Despite the fact college boy didn't want to converse with me, I decided to call him back to check the result of the pizza being baked on the rack instead of IN A PAN. And to make sure he turned off the oven and wasn't burning the dorm down on night #2. He was harried and out of breath when I reached him. He was freaked out because he didn't have any way to get the PIZZA OUT OF THE OVEN. He didn't have an OVEN MITT. I wanted to tell him to man up....that Bobby Flay just pulls crap out of pans and ovens with his BARE HANDS.......but instead of paying for a hospital co-pay, I reminded him that he had brand new hand towels in his room that he could use in lieu of an OVEN MITT.

3) When waiting to check him in to the dorm (prior to being able to move in), I sat next to a girl who'd apparently been waiting longer than she wished to for her turn to check in. She commented very softly that the people BEFORE the ones in the room at that time were there for 45 MINUTES. And she sighed real big. She kept talking in this little tiny mousey voice....I never could hear her....and after asking her to repeat herself several times, I just got up and left. I still was never sure if she was talking to me or to herself.

4) When moving son #1 INTO his dorm room, he was totally appalled that I was not going to be carrying his stuff into his room for him while he unpacked his clothing from a suitcase. He couldn't understand WHY he had to carry all that stuff in when he had UNPACKING to do.

5) My husband walked into the bathroom to put something away for Son #1, and encountered one of the OTHER guys from the OTHER room using their shared bathroom......yeah...dude..we'll shake hands later........sorry for the AWKWARD moment!! Learn to lock common doors before you take a whiz.

6) After a week of loud arguing, and packing and me freaking out over the move to the dorm....we left. We were on the road....I texted son #2 to let him know we were on the way to the college. He was at football Practice, and I thought it to be a nice mom thing to do to let him know we were leaving town. So I texted something like " We are on the way to Moberly....see you later!!". His response? "What are you doing there?". Seriously..........did you miss the fact that your brother graduated, packed and moved out of the house? That the shouting wasn't all for fun?

7) Today, Son #1 texted me asking me for some information regarding his internet access.....I called him (because texting is a pain in the ass), and he was annoyed to be talking to me. I gave him the place where he needed to go, and tried to talk to him and was met with a resounding "I don't want to talk to you!!", and a hang up. Literally a minute later a text from him came through "What room did you say it was?". If I wasn't such a wuss, I'd have said "you didn't want to TALK TO ME....remember??". But of course, I didn't. I saved his ass and gave him the info.


I am sad, nervous and wished he could live me forever. I'm also worried that somehow he WILL live with me forever. I don't understand how our lives seem so crazy when other's seem quite normal and easy.

Maybe other people have the same things happen to them........they just hide it and live the percieved 'perfect life' that I wish for. I swear........it's amazing that he managed to get out of his room by himself.........but yet he's old enough to hold a cigarette, or if ever drafted a freaking GUN.......it amazes me that people so young are expected to SURVIVE. It's scary, people.

Toodles for now.

Black Friday

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a FABULOUS Thanksgiving. I did.

I missed my mom and grandma terribly. I felt bad when Mom called me yesterday---but all in all, it's best for Grandma, and we WILL make a trip in the next two weeks.

Aside from THAT, I had a lovely Thanksgiving. Mr. Perfectly planned and executed the menu nearly from beginning to end. My only duties for the day was to make pecan pies (one regular and one chocolate pecan), and to make the broth for Chicken Noodle soup. This is the alternative to Turkey that Mr. P. wanted for dinner. With HOMEMADE egg noodles. Yum. It's one of our favorite meals. We top mashed potatoes with the homemade chicken noodle soup. Yes, I know...it's carb overkill, but man...let me tell you....unless you've had it, DON'T KNOCK IT. Obviously, this isn't a menu we eat regularly-----but OMG...when we do eat it.......it's knock your socks off good.

We had a raw veggie tray to help offset the lack of fiber in the meal itself....with raw tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, celery and green onion. Mr. P. also tried to make "Jessie Rolls" that I so failed at on Sunday. His weren't perfect, either. We apparently have a learning curve to perfect them. I will honestly say that the first two times I made them, they were pretty good. The 3rd time sucked and when Mr. P made them.....meh---just okay. Although, I didn't bake them, so I appreciate his dinner more than you and he will ever know.

We got up this morning at 3am to go shopping on 'Black Friday'. We went right back to sleep. We got up around 6 am to do the same and hit the mall. I wanted the free snow globe from JC Penneys......they were out. I should have been there at 4am when they opened. I am very disappointed. I've gotten the free JC Penneys's snow globe for at least the last 5 years if not more. **sigh** Laziness gets you NOWHERE.

We went to Lowes and got quite the deal. They'd advertised 14 gal 'Shop Vacs' with a 4.5 horse power motor for $29. They were sold out by the time we arrived. Another customer had 2 in his cart, when I asked him where he'd gotten them. He told me, but also told me they were completely out of the advertised product. But some dude that worked at Lowe's told him that they'd sell the 5.5 HORSEPOWER similar one for the same price. I went looking. There was only one left, and my cart was overflowing full. I found Mr. P, and sent him to the Shop Vac section and tracked down (stalked) the customer I'd talked to before to see WHO had agreed to such a deal.......and he pointed out some guy....whom I asked about substituting the shop vacs. He told me 'NO'. That they weren't substituting anything. I TOLD him that the OTHER GUY was getting a deal--and he said that there had been a miscommunication and that the big manager dude said 'no substitutions'. I stalked (tracked down) that other guy AGAIN in his checkout line and told him they weren't giving me the same deal as he got....and he whispered that the girl was ringing his up as $29 right then, and I should try coming through her line. Mr. P was at this point dragging the full cart AND the Shop Vac up to my location, and we got into line with the same lady that rang up the mysterious guy I'd been talking to all morning. I just said to her that we wanted the same deal he got, and she said "Yeah, I know", and rang it through as $29!!!! A $90 shop vac with 14 gal capacity and a 5.5 horsepower motor was OURS!!!

We also got a new over the stove microwave, some storage containers, a flashlight and 2 poinsettias. Whew. All for $148.00. Mr. P is now trying to install a brand spanking new Microwave.

Ph.d. and her husband came over with their dogs for a few minutes this morning. Wow. 5 dogs in this tiny house is quite the feat. Dex spent most of his time humping Lester, their almost 6 month old basset hound--If you read my blog YOU'VE SEEN HIS BABY PICTURES!! Not only did 7 lb Dex hump the 35 lb Lester, Dex also proceeded to lick Lester's....well....'private parts'. Lester is neutered, so there's not much left, but what was there was licked by baby puppy dachshund. It was sort of embarrassing.

Heather then called and wanted to go to lunch. Her favorite place is my Mexican place that has the Margarita's that I so love.......so I joined her and Maddie (who is 5) and Heather's sister, Mia...who is ALSO 5. I partook in a Jumbo Margarita, ate lunch, and then we all went to Kohl's. Their early bird specials were supposed to be gone at 1 pm, and we got there at 2 pm. But, I've been to Kohl's before when they've announced an extension of their early bird deals due to great demand. Sure enough, as we walked in the doors, they were announcing that the specials would end at 3pm instead of 1pm. I bought a purse (which I have an addiction to---it's orange, and slouchy, and big.....it's wonderful), and 3 towels and a down comforter for Son #1. He sleeps all curled up in various throw sized blankets and I thought he finally deserved a full sized comforter of his own.

So, here I sit......debating the idea of going to buy a WHITE Christmas tree this year. Talk me out of it, Internet.......it's wrong....so wrong to have as many Christmas trees in our house as we do. We have 3 artificial ones. THREE PEOPLE.......one we use, one is too big for our tiny little house (and HELLO.......pre lit trees? Once you go pre-lit, you NEVVVVAAAAA go back) and a fiber optic one we took from my Grandma Winnie's house after she died. I'm too sad to put that one up. Besides, it's only a 3 footer. I keep thinking white tree, with silver, brown and light turquoise ornaments..........can you IMAGINE? The lovliness? THE EXPENSE? THE STUPIDNESS when we have a perfectly good (albeit scrawny) tree that we got for $25 a few years ago. Pre-lit with 400 measly lights.

I'd take another scrawny 400 light tree....IN WHITE.....and decorate it all cutsey......Wal Mart has them.......I NEED AN INTERVENTION!!

Well, that's all I've got for now. I've got pictures, but none are loaded onto my profile yet, and since I'm computer illiterate, it'll have to wait til Mr. P. gets the new microwave installed and for him to have time to deal with photos. For my Blog. Nothing important, you know.

hahah...just joking honey.....take your time.......I understand!!!!

Happy Day after Thanksgiving people!!!!

Senior Moments

Well, it appears that Dex's worm and/or intestinal condition is improving. His doodie is firm and we haven't seen any blood. He has twice the energy he had when we got him, and he's FUNNY. I mean he was funny before, too, but he slept alot. He still sleeps alot, but at least now, between long cozy naps, he races through the house, plays with Copper, chews rawhides, and runs from us when he's got something he wants that he shouldn't have. Like socks. And cords. And Kleenex.

He hasn't had any accidents in the house since my last report. I think he may be smart. He seems to be potty training (other people I know act like potty training is so hard.......), he knows 'inside' and 'outside' he knows his name, oh and he responds well to 'GOOOOOODDDD BBBOOOYYYYY'. He knows 'NO', and he very much likes to sleep on down blankets and in our bed with us. He sleeps in his cage at night with little whining, and he's SO FREAKING CUTE, it's unbelieveable.

Mr. P went to take some photos of son #1 yesterday. Mr. P is acting as a photographer for his Senior pictures. Son #1 isn't as co-operative as I'd like. I had an absolute meltdown because when I told Son #1 that I wanted him clean shaven in the photos and he flat out refused. He didn't want to go take pictures, he didn't want to shave and I went nuts. He, of course, thinks I'm nuts. He said it should be HIS choice since they were 'his' pictures. You all know Senior pictures are as much for the family as they are for the kid. No matter what I said, he totally refused to shave and practically refused to go take pictures. Arrgh. Sometimes I feel like I suck at parenting, and sometimes I feel like I get shat upon on a regular basis.

Anyway, he got lots of pictures of Son #1, unshaven. The photos are pretty good after all, but I would still enjoy them more if he were clean shaven. He said he'll take more later on and shave. We'll see how that turns out.

Okay, we picked up the photos of Son #1 and they turned out pretty good. We have (well, I have) a very specific taste regarding the 'look' of pictures. I prefer so called 'urban' backgrounds....a modern, sort of stark look. I also kind of like the railroad track look.......unfortunately, many of the pictures were taken too far away to really be used as portraits, but it was a good practice session, and there are two specifically that turned out awesome........and several more that are good. We picked about 40 examples to print out to show him what we were going for.......and hope he likes the basic result and will 'allow' Mr. Perfectly to do this again having learned from his 'mistakes' if you will. Not that he made 'mistakes', but he isn't a portrait photographer. He has never enjoyed the portrait side of things.......although I'd be willing to bet that at least some of Son #1's friends will want similiar photos of them taken. He may get into the portrait business after all.
















See? Mr. P did a pretty good job, huh? Let me know what YOU think......like I said before, alot are too far away to be 'portraits' but this gives you a sense of what he was 'going' for. I am anxious to hear if we are on the right track!!

Toodles....Happy Monday!!

Discombobulated

Well, Crap. Jury duty is over. The parties settled the case. SETTLED. I’m so upset! I wanted to DELIBERATE, to try to be the FOREMAN (foreperson?). I WANTED MY WAY, DAMMIT!!!!!

I spent the last 3 days plus 2 hrs fretting, thinking and worrying about this case. And they settled it. I feel gypped.

I called my boss to let her know I was free at last, but I had jeans on, and did she want me to come to work after I changed, or just come on in as is. She said to come on to work, so, WOO HOO….I’m working in jeans today….nah nah nah nah NAH!!!!

I’m not back into the work frame of mind yet…..I’m sort of reeling from all the stuff we saw and how awful the case was and how all parties in it must have suffered. I was truly leaning for the defense, BUT, I certainly felt bad for ALL people involved. It was just a sucky thing all around.

I met my boss’s mom while on Jury Duty. She was a hoot. I LOVED her. I hope we can meet for lunch on occasion.

OHHHHHH….here’s the big personal news. Son #1 got his tattoo. I HATE it. It’s on his back, between his shoulder blades. I don’t know what it is…….it actually is THIS, without the wings, and names. And smaller---maybe 5 inches. We aren’t a religious family…..I’m not sure why he was so HELL BENT on getting this tattoo…..is it because David Beckham has it? He’s not a DB fan, and he says he just likes it. AAARRRGGHHHH. I’ll post pictures soon…whenever BEST BUY gets our computer back. He, of course, is THRILLED. He keeps thanking me for letting him get it….and asking if I like it. I’ve been honest and told him NO, I do NOT like it at all……but it was his choice, not mine. (weep). I think it’s a cross between Christ on the Cross and a Guardian Angel? Anybody familiar with this symbol that can tell me what it is?

I also bought this. Isn't is gorgeous? I've got a wedding set in yellow gold, and I wear alot of silver and white metals, so I bought this on special for $19.82 and will wear it when alot of my jewelry is the white metals. It's prettier in person than in the photo.

I better get moving. Lots of work to do!!

Skip to my Lou

I spent Saturday afternoon with my niece, Heather, her 4 yr old daughter, Maddison, and Heather's 4 yr old sister, Mia. I'm not all that great with kids.....the germaphobe in me doesn't really get on well with the toddler set. Maddi and Mia seemed THRILLED, however, that I was along for the afternoon. When we went to Hobby Lobby, BOTH girls were clamoring to go in with PERFECTLY.....to hold my hand (deep breathing, here--hands are the WORST for passing illness). We got through Hobby lobby and all it's glassware with no episodes, except Maddi exclaiming to Heather (and the other shoppers) that she had to POOP, really, REALLY bad.

Heather and I decided to run to the mall to see if the E.A.S.T.E.R. B.U.N.N.Y. was there. We didn't tell the girls where we were going or why. We parked in the lot, and once again, BOTH girls were anxiously awaiting my HANDS to hold. They were talking about running. I don't run. I asked them if they knew how to skip..and Mia proceeded to skip (in a 4 year old way), so Off I went, with a girl in each hand, skipping through the parking lot. I'm certain this was quite the site to behold....the fat a jiggling, the purse heavily falling off the shoulder onto my forearm.

The girls' PEALS of laughter made the spectacle all worthwhile. The 10 skips I skipped, made them LAUGH OUT LOUD, which was worth all the germs their little hands surely were giving me.

Malls no longer have a teenager with an attitude taking Polaroids for a rip-off $5. They now have 'photo packages' available for the parents to shell out big bucks for ($45.99 for the biggest). We just wanted some pics of the girls with the E.A.S.T.E.R. B.U.N.N.Y.

We called Mr. Perfectly, and he came to the rescue. He came with his camera in tow, and saved the day with some snapshots of the girls.



Afterwards, the girls got to choose some coloring books and 'bunny' glasses.


Maddi is on the left, and Mia on the right. I'm so happy I spent the afternoon with them. They were tons of fun and aren't they ADORABLE?

Promises...Promises

I know I've been titillating you with my promises of posting about girls night........well, I don't know how to take pictures from the camera and put them on the computer. Mr. Perfectly TRIED to teach me last week, but it didn't stick.......

I must confess, though, that I didn't get a photo of my chemical burned neck or zit--at least a close up...I did get some pictures of the girls and some feet.....so when I get to it this weekend, I'll post about our really fun night. Quiet, but fun.

Go here to see Mr. Perfectly's photo blog. He's good. Comment if you want...he likes to read comments....if you LIKE it that is!!!!

Today's photo is an awesome one of son #2 and Perfectly's dad. It's an awesome shot and a fabulous sentiment.

Nippy

A conversation with my 14 yr old son (the one who likes to pose on the roof).

Me: "Brrr...it's a little nippy out here"
Him: "HeHeHe....'nippy' HeHeHe"
Me: snicker, hoping he doesn't see me
Him: ""NIPPY" Hehehehehehehe"
Him: "Oh My God......is THAT why they call it Nippy?"
Me: (laughing hysterically) "Ask your grandpa"

Bully for you

Bullies.

Fear.

Defense.

Violence.

What images do these words evoke in you?

Let me tell you a story, then let's talk.

An 8th grade boy is bullied on the internet by another 8th grader. The bullying seemes to have amounted to verbal assaults that seemed relatively minor; if any bullying is minor.

When the insults failed to initiate much of a reaction from the boy, the bully threatened to kill the 8th grade boy's brother, and threatened sexual assault on his mother, with the help of a group of boys.

The 8th grade boy hit the bully.

The 8th grade boy got suspended for school violence.

The bully is in school.

We can discuss how violence isn't the way to handle bad situations. We can say go tell an adult...go tell the principal, go tell the counselor........but in reality, the schools do not have the time, resources, or wherewithal to deal with 'stories' of bullying. Even if they witness it, their hands are tied to a point. If this boy walked away from physical threats to his family and 'tattled', who would do anything? Who would take action on an event that they didn't witness? Who is there for the BULLIED?

Nobody is disputing that the no tolerance policies in place in our public schools are meant to do no harm. In theory, they are a solution to a huge problem in the public school system. The boy is taking his punishment, and the family is not arguing whether or not throwing the first punch is a punishable offense. My issue is that no tolerance is not the answer either.......there's always a situation in the mix that doesn't fit the original no tolerance model................there's always shades of gray in our world that wants everything to be black and white.

My question is this: What should he have done? Nobody has time to investigate a purported 'threat'. Nobody has time to deal with the 'squabbles' of teens. Nobody has the resources to SOLVE the problem at hand. They show success by all the kids that are suspended or expelled for their 'violent' actions. Did anyone try to get to the ROOT of the issue?

Here we have a bully that physically threatened a family, and he's free to attend school, and continue his education, and thinking he's somehow been 'wronged' since he was punched. Whereas a boy is stuck in suspension, and has the stigma attached to his school record of 'VIOLENCE'

It's just wrong.

It's hip to be square

I read an article today regarding a mother that took sold her son's car because she found liquor under the seat. Read the story here.

I am in awe of this woman. I have been thinking about this ALL DAY, and I'm not sure if I could do this. I rely on son #1's ability to drive. I know how much it means to him TO drive. As a parent would I be brave enough to teach a lesson in such a loving, creative manner? I honestly do not know.

Here's to all the parents who do the job RIGHT and aren't afraid of facing difficult situations.

Generation Gap

How does a mother explain to her 17 yr. old son that he doesn't have a BIG butt? He has a very high, round, firm butt that is attractive to the opposite sex.


There is SO much wrong with the above for SO many reasons. He thinks his butt is big, when actually is very cute and proportionate to his frame....so when he worries about it I try to give him positive feedback, an it comes out so weird.


Let's break this down: Son complains about his big butt. Being the good mother I am, I attempt to reassure said son that indeed he does NOT have a big butt, but a very nicely proportioned hind end. He looks so cute in his football pants, we can ALWAYS tell which one he is when his number isn't visible because of his cute tush.


This translates somewhere between MOMMY and PEDOPHILE; and those two words should never be used in the same sentence!!