Monday, March 10, 2008

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance (author unknown).

Ok, I'm a a major way. I'm sort of a germaphobe, yet a horrible housekeeper. Go figure.

So, how can one have two totally opposite afflictions? Who knows, but I'm living proof it exists!

I do not enjoy housework (I don't mind laundry, except the hauling of it up and down stairs). I detest the deep cleaning tasks. Floors, Windows (ha, who am I kidding...the windows have NEVER been done here and one there, but never 'window washing day'). I especially detest the floors........HATE THEM. My oldest son's 3 chores are: Bathroom floor, his own laundry and his room. I'm not a freak about their rooms. Both boys live like pigs.....and until the rooms stink of sweaty boy, I don't say much about their personal space. I make sure they wash their bedding and clothing, but other than that, until smelly boys make smelly rooms, I don't fuss over the mess. Son #2 is in charge of trash, his laundry and his room--he's worse than #1 about his's bad in there.

Anyway, I got off track.....MY hatred of cleaning........Mr. Perfectly does the vacuuming of the hardwoods, and the cat litter. Oh, he does his own laundry, too. We both pick up the common living areas and I do the bathroom (except the floor which son #1 is SUPPOSED TO DO). I cook much of the time and do the shopping, and Mr. Perfectly does dishes if I cook, and if he cooks (which he does do---), then I do the clean up. We can't quite figure out who's responsible for dishes when we grill...he grills, I do the sides.....maybe we should use that as bonding time, and do it together? hahahahahahahahaha But, although our system works for us, and it doesn't generally get HORRIBLE, there are times, when things get out of hand. This weekend was one. Nobody did much around here. I convinced Mr. Perfectly to wash our bedding while I was at girls that was a nice come home to Tide Lilac smelling sheets......but the was BAAADDDD. When your own dirt grosses you out, you KNOW it's bad.

Son #1 hadn't done his job and cleaned the floor, despite my reminder, and the IN-LAWS are stopping by this evening. Yes, we've known about the visit for several days, but in true Perfectly Family tradition, we sat last night, stuffing our faces with spaghetti, meatballs, and cheese bread and staring gape-mouthed at the tv. Mr. Perfectly did help w/ dinner--he made the cheese bread and boiled the noodles. I made the meatballs (from scratch) and the spaghetti sauce (again, from scratch). Other than a few loads of laundry, that is ALL I managed to it wasn't due to a hangover......just laziness. So, this morning, when I realized dinner dishes were still waiting patiently to be washed, I sort of panicked.....I couldn't be upset with Mr. P, he HELPED with dinner...I hadn't thought to get up and do them last night--and the IN-LAWS are I took off work early---to get things in more presentable shape.

I came in to find a MIRACLE....the dishes had been DONE.......Mr. P worked his magic and did them before work or on his lunch hour.....either way, I nearly SWOONED with gratefulness. The counters had been wiped, and things are at least presentable in a cluttered sort of way.......but the Bathroom still needed some SERIOUS attention.

I proceeded to sweep up the caked on pet hair (the humidity in the bath seems to leave things more STUCK to the linoleum than in other parts of the house where the dirt and hair scatters to unknown parts, like under the bed, or places that aren't as obvious until you pull something away from the wall and think EWWWWWW before pushing said item back into place), and pickup stray q-tips. I then pulled all the stuff out of the way, and proceeded to hand wash the floor with bleach water---to make it smell freshly cleaned and to DISINFECT that sucker.....I diligently cleaned around the toilet with a brush, and it's now drying in it's bleach/sanitized state. Hooray for me.

After the floor dries, I'll carefully swish the toilet (yea, I should have done this first to clean up any splashes) and clean off the counter and scrape the hairspray residue off of it....then sanitize it.....It will be clean for my mother in law to use. Whew. I'm skipping the tub--because I doubt she'll want to shower...if she does, it'll be amidst soapscum and hard water stains........

I have 'rituals' that I suppose ease the germaphobe in me. Jonniker discussed her fear of CHICKEN and cleaning up after handling CHICKEN and it made me realize how OCD I am with my weird kitchen ways. Dishes CANNOT be washed with the same sponge as what is used to wipe counter tops (haven't you seen the commercials with the SALMONELLA being spread around a counter top with a regular cloth?). I use disinfecting cleaners on my counter tops and stove and clean my sink EVERY time I do dishes with comet. Comet does WONDERS---it may be old fashioned, but man, it works. I buy Lysol or Clorox brand wipes to do quick wipe ups (not for chicken, though--I don't care WHAT the commercial says). Floors are also done with some disinfecting agent--when they get done that is. My philosophy is might as well kill everything down there while bothering to clean it......

Since every news show will tell you that SPONGES are the bane of the kitchen with all of their horrible-ness, I have a system. I love the sponge for how it performs as opposed to cloths. Therefore, I use them (these in particular). I use them for 5-7 days (depending on the amount and grossness of their use) to wash dishes. I may microwave them between times to kill stuff...not always, but sometimes. They then get retired to the spray nozzle side of the sink to be used for disinfectant cleaner wiping.....counters, stove, etc. Their last little bit of life goes to the bathroom floor and toilet. Then they go to the nice landfill in the sky.

Now, with chicken, I use an entire different method of cleaning. I deal with the chicken (usually w/ disposable latex gloves) and wash the board and knife with a paper towel or my hand and soap FIRST to get much of the chicken-ness off. Then after I'm satisfied no chicken-ness will be transferred to my sponge, then it gets re-washed with the sponge and soap/hot water.'s difficult. Even Mr. Perfectly KNOWS how to wash the chicken-ey stuff. Then the counter top gets disinfected, and then it's on to whatever else. Actually, we pretty much do this with all meat products...but chicken and poultry especially.

Now, for the rituals when someone is puking in the house. OMG.....I'll try to keep it abbreviated ( if I'm capable). I have a HUGE, PARALYZING fear of puking. ME puking, not others.....I am so nervous around those that are puking or feel pukey it nearly renders me inoperable. Seriously. When someone is puking, after each puking bout, I wait for all the virus germs to settle down a bit (to reduce the airborne factor) and I go in with gloves (Yes, I do) and bleach. I bleach EVERY surface thinkable that the puker may have come into contact with or came near. You know, hand contact is how most germs are spread......toilet handles, around the stool, THE STOOL, the sink, the sink handles, the light switch, the DOOR handles...I could go on if you'd like. I pray that the puker will be ok for the requisite 10 minute air drying to get the full disinfecting POWER. Then repeat...and repeat and repeat (depending on the puker and the life of their illness). Then I live in a state of panic for 3 days to see if somehow I'll catch it.

It really isn't pretty. Ask any of my family and friends. It's a true phobia that I suspect the ritualistic cleaning is clearly pointing to OCD as joke.

Therefore, the smell of bleach calms me---makes me feel like I've KILLED the damn germs.....

Now, do you suspect the length of this post is because I'm WORDY, or because I don't want to put the laundry in the dryer then finish cleaning the bathroom? Wager a guess........I may even add pictures later! Dish sponge side of the sink, vs. cleaning sponge side! You'll have to be satisfied w/ text for now....who knows if I'll get back to this. It's nearly a NOVEL by now.


Oh, pictures and girls night post coming soon!!!!

1 comment:

Jakki said...

Crazy how you are the germophobe in this relationship but hate housework...i am not AS germophobe as you but have a fit if a closet door is open...if a fork is in the sink ....or if sock lint is on the floor.