I VOTED!!

I ran late this morning, so I had to go after work. I made it to my polling place at about 3:45 pm, and I was voter # 1096 at that location. Is this good? Is it a higher turnout? Mr. Perfectly was on time, and went before 7 am this morning and was in the 160's.

Work was tough today. I don't discuss politics at work. Except with Jakki. As it turns out we lean the same direction, but with her (as it should be with a BFF), I'm allowed to have my OWN opinion without ruffling her feathers. We whisper our thoughts, because we work for a Republican administration, and regardless, it just isn't good to try to talk with every one because not everyone is open to others having a differing or contradicting opinion. Working for State Government and talking politics just doesn't make for good bed fellows. Even if the party I agree with is in office (which it isn't currently).

The ignorance seemed to be running rampant today. I heard MORE THAN ONCE today that Sarah Palin is 'really skinny' and that her thighs 'are about THIS big (makes circle with fingers)'. As if thigh size makes for a good VP....how do you TELL people that appearance isn't what matters? It was distressing.

There were lots of proud 'I VOTED' stickers being displayed, and lots of bemoaning the lack of ability to vote a straight party ticket. **sigh* Also lots of discussion about how different people would be ABLE to mark those republican canididates with no problem.

Oh well, enough kvetching. I am PROUD to live in a country where people are ALLOWED to have an opinion, and ALLOWED to have a choice. That should be the resounding sound....not bitching over people's failure to pay attention.

Our neighbor seems to have left his garage door open. Wide open. He just moved in maybe 6 weeks ago, and although he's quite nice, I don't know his name. He also doesn't seem to stay there often....I don't know if he travels alot or if he is just flipping the house. I am not one to get all up into people's kool aid without knowing the flavor (just for you, Jak), so I was in a connundrum as to what to do.

I finally called the police....told them that they guy didn't appear to be home, that his garage was wide open, and what does one do? The lady on the phone just said she'd send someone out. I mean, it has an opener, I COULD go shut it, but what if he wants it open and I've invaded his space? It's just sort of weird.......and I'm reminded of the CB's of the 70's......will some electronic device raise a garage door? Maybe he DID shut it!!

I will be on pins and needles tonight, Internet. The DEMS MUST pull this one out.......

Toodles for now.

Demons

I had a really scary dream. My Ghost Hunters obsession sometimes makes me wonder if I am inviting spirits into my life, you know? I really don’t believe in that stuff, but still, sometimes I wonder.

Like the time I’d watched Ghost Hunters and I dreamed that my BFF Teenie and one of the gay guys from one of the Big Brother shows were demons in my car baring their teeth at me. I stopped Ghost Hunters COLD TURKEY for several weeks after that crazy dream.

Well, yesterday, I watched the last half of Paranormal State. I don’t enjoy this show. There’s a lot of religion, cross kissing, and refusal to mention some name of some demon for fear we’ll all have it invade us…….but I was bored, and the title of the show sounded interesting, and I was tired of watching years old re-runs of Cold Case files. I turned it and it was some 26 year old girl that was (sigh) possessed and needed an exorcism (or deliverance, as the Paranormal State people called it). There was a Priest, and again, lots of cross kissing, and holy water and demon removal. It was all a bit silly, and I caught myself rolling my eyes at the tee-vee---even though I was all by myself at my house.

Well, people, the time change screws with my brain, so I went to bed at 8 pm (even though it was really 9 pm before daylight savings time ended). I was embarrassed by going to bed so early, so I turned on Iron Chef in the bedroom, and promptly fell asleep….before I could see what fascinating things they did with ham.

Well, let me tell you what. I dreamed I was DEAD and trying to get into peoples bodies so I could LIVE still. I was so scared of being dead and of taking people over and what not, that I woke up with a START to hear Mr. Perfectly coming down the hall. I figured he was turning off lights to come to bed, but as I called out to him to tell him I was terrified by this dream that I couldn’t really remember or understand he was by the bed asking if I was okay……apparently I’d been screaming in my sleep. He was coming to CHECK ON ME (isn’t he sweet). People, I’ve talked in my sleep, and even WALKED in my sleep, but I don’t think I’d ever screamed out loud in my sleep.

So, do I give up drunken Ghost Hunters Wednesdays? Or was it a stupid fluke…or was it the demons coming to get me for rolling my eyes at them during Paranormal State?

Oh, another thing that may have contributed to my nocturnal screaming? Yeah….Sarah Palin is coming to my city. Today. At noon. She’ll be a block (or less) away from my office. NOW, THAT IS WHAT I CALL SCARY, PEOPLE!!! Mr. Perfectly is there right now…..4 and a half hours early to get photos. I guess Hank Williams, Jr. is slated to perform too. **sigh**

Mr. P loves the campaign trail when all the candidates come to our city (or close to it). He loves the photo ops. He visited Joe Biden in Columbia, Mo shortly after he was chosen as the Democratic VP pick…..he made quite the embarrassing gaffe (Biden, not Mr. P). Apparently, as he was enthusiastically introducing prominent Democratic political figures at the beginning of his speech (duh, we live in the Capital of Missouri….there’s lots of political types to be had around here), Biden was calling out his Democratic ‘buddies’ and asking each of them to stand, when he called on one well known local politician…..he yelled “come on *&$@! STAND UP!!”…Well, this particular senator is confined to a wheelchair. WHOOPSIE!! Despite my political preferences, I must say that this embarrassed me….come on folks…..get with the PROGRAM and at least have your aides give you the rundown on the local important people!!

But anyway, I really have been stressed at her visit today. She’s not exactly my kind of gal (sorry…I try to be PC, because I am a state Government employee), but I’d really prefer not to have the town all in an uproar over this. Sigh.

Let’s just vote and get on with it and let her leave the spotlight for GOOD is what I say. (shhhhh..I’m not supposed to voice an opinon publicly!!)

I fixed my hair differently today…..I left it curly (as usual), but straightened my bangs and pushed them over to the left (see, even my BANGS get it right)………I’m trying so hard to get away from my 80’s curled ‘roll’ of bangs on my forehead. I have no talent at all in hair styling, so I never know what to do. I bought a flat iron over the weekend and am experimenting.

Well, I need to stop blogging and start working……..it’s kind of the rule when one is employed, you know?

See you all later!!!

Jello

I've never had jello shots. I'm too old to have been part of the 'club scene'...back in my bar days, beer was about all people drank. Except me. I don't like beer.

I've never had anyone slurp anything out of my belly button.......and I've never danced on top of a bar/table/or any other off the ground object. I've also never rolled around in a pool of jello.

Teenie and I made probably 125 to 150 jello shots last night. There would have been more, but apparently my inexperience with the whole jello shot thing made me fill some of the cups too full. We made the following combinations:

Melon Jello/Watermelon Rum
Melon Jello/Midori
Lemon Jello/plain vodka
Pineapple jello/2/3 plain vodka & 1/3 blue curaco
Tropical punch jello/plain vodka
orange jello/peach schnapps

I sipped each concoction while still hot and my favorite was the pineapple. Believe it or not, my second favorite (which I would NEVER have guessed) was the punch. I'm not much of a red jello/kool aid type of person. Strawberry is OKAY, but not great. Cherry----mmmmm, not so much. My third favorite was the lemon jello with the vodka and curaco. I expected the orange/peach and the melons to be my favorites. I was surprised. I'm anxious to try them when they've set and are cold.

I read on the internet that even experienced drinkers (ahem......not me) even have trouble with jello shots because one doesn't know how much liquor is ingested since it is yummy and jello-ish. WE are also bringing wine.

OHHHHHH!!!! What did we make jello shots FOR? We are going to a BYOB school fundraiser for Teenie's son---a project graduation TRIVIA NIGHT. Teenie's sister, Marie, is coming down and either Mr. Perfectly OR Perfectly's dad will be joining us. This is a big deal since neither of the influential males in my life are social butterflies. They were supposed to BOTH come, but due to a miscalculation on table space, only one will join us. I don't care who, as long as there is a sober person to take me home.

Teenie was responsible originally for selling 20 slots---THAT'S ALOT OF PEOPLE....but her ex husband took over selling one table of 10 and Teenie sold one table of 10, so there will be 20 of us at two tables vying for a trivia WIN.

I love Teenie's sister, too. It's always a BLAST when we are all together. I'm so excited!!

Well, I'm off to find an inflatable monkey and see if Wal Mart has any 1/2 price Halloween crap left. Like the hot dog costume for my weiner dog!

Stoogie, I (or Mr. P) will be taking the awesomely cool new camera to the event this evening, so there (hopefully) will be photos to share.

By for now my sticky, jello friends!!

Dancing with the Perfectly's

WOOT WOOT!!

Mr. Perfectly won Stoogie's NUDE MILF contest. No, I'm not the MILF, Crissy is.....but Mr. Perfectly won!!!

I am so excited. He won PHOTOSHOP! I can be SKINNY and PERKY again!! Or Vixen like......or WHATEVER I WANT TO BE!!

I've taken Crissy's thought about being fair into a great deal of consideration. Mr. Perfectly may not be ready to wow you all with his NEKKIDNESS yet. He called me as he was leaving work, though, and said he was walking to his car naked to see how it felt.

Crissy and Stoogie apparently had some legendary phone sex (sorry mom.....don't read this one) during or after choosing Mr. Perfectly and Melissa Lion (she won the camcorder for Pimping Stoogie's contest) as winners.

I'm not sure how phone sex works.....can someone explain? I mean "what are you wearing" or "Are your toenails painted?" just somehow doesn't replace the whole person to person FEEL of stuff, you know? I mean what does the GIRL say? "What's Mr. Wiggly doing now???" I'm a bit confused. The whole sex movie, toy, product industry sort of leaves me befuddled.

One time, many years ago Jakki and another friend of ours, and I went to an 'adult' shop. Our friend was standing there stroking this pretty pretty hair thing....we wondered what it was....our friend wondered out loud if maybe it was a (*whisper*) WHIP? It was a buttplug, with a horsey tail. Now seriously. This thing was really big......what is the POINT? I didn't think the goal was to get things all stretchy.......AND what in the world would be appealing about an individual, with a horsey tail IN THEIR BUTT?

See, one time, I had a hemorrhoid removed. It was the most humiliating experience of my entire life. Really. And I've had my fair share. I'll share with you so grab a glass of wine, and know that this honest to god a TRUE story.......

It started innocently enough......I was in the surgeon's office and a nice nurse asked me about the book I was reading. We had a nice discussion about the book. I even thought about coming back to lend it to her after I was through.......then another nurse comes in and starts preparing a few items.

THEN THE DOCTOR COMES IN. I was still dressed, holding my purse and book. He instructed me to 'drop my pants'. Uh--huh!! In front of everyone. I set my purse and book on the exam table, and very reluctantly dropped my jeans. He THEN instructed me to kneel (pants around my ankles) with my KNEES on the footrest of the exam table, and lean my BODY over the end of the exam table. (I'll wait a sec to let you get a visual on that).

Stupid me DID IT. Two nurses and one doctor certainly got to regale THEIR families with a story that night over dinner!!

Oh, it gets worse, Internet. It gets worse. The nice book nurse comes to me and takes TAPE......TTTAAAPPPPPEEE and sticks it onto my ASS. Tape on my ass. She pulls a long piece of it away from the roll and sticks the OTHER end of the tape to my hip. She does the same thing with the other ass cheek. SHE WAS TAPING MY ASS APART...........HEAR THAT PEOPLE? TAPING MY ASS APART!!!!!! WITH ME DRAPED OVER AN EXAM TABLE...ON MY KNEES!!

As I sat there, with my ass taped apart, and my swollen sphincter for all to see, the Doctor froze the hemorrhoid with that liquid nitrogen stuff and proceeded give me a shot in the frozen hemorrhoid, which hurt like HELL----then cut it off.

He then placed a small cigar shaped piece of cotton up into my butthole, untaped my ass, and let me pull my pants up.

I barely got out of there before I burst into tears. I was mortified, and totally devastated.

I got home and that damn piece of cotton was the worst thing about the recovery part of the situation. I then had to call the damn doctor back to ask if I could take the little plug out so I could SLEEP. I've never had anything so uncomfortable in my life as that little piece of cotton.

So, why in the WORLD would someone want a plastic plug that is larger than a FIST with hair dangling from it in their rear? WHY?

Needless to say, I didn't loan that stupid nurse my book.

All a Twitter

I want to sign up for Twitter. I am scared, though, because what if people don't follow me? What if I get fired for twitting all day long? What the hell IS twitter?

I've been showing Son #1's photos around looking for praise and acceptence--like I created him from bronze or something. Sheesh......a little egg here, some schmutz there......and we got HIM. Oh, we got another one, too--How did we MAKE these guys?

I was annoyed at work yesterday when showing off my husbands photography, and my son's looks. The stuffy set at work were all "is that a REAL tattoo, or just a temporary one?" looking down their nose at me......and "oh, I didn't know he had an EARRING". I said "he doesn't....he's got two". Again, the looking down the nose at me. Or when trying to explain to the conservative, midwestern prom queen moms et. al., why we chose the settings we did (sorry, Mr. Perfectly, that YOU did)...they sighed and said "well, my daughters would probably like this, but it just isn't what I would have chosen" Oh, and the yellow tennis shoes. Nobody looked at the lighting, the colors in the pictures the HDR (or whatever) effects, the TIME AND EFFORT IT TOOK for Mr. Perfectly to take the pictures or the handsomeness of the son.....NO....they NOTICED THE YELLOW SHOES.

I am not artsy. I wish I was (were?). I don't even always 'GET' art, either. But I know what I like and I prefer modern, stark, colorful, etc. Here is some art I'd like to paper my house in. Ser--iou---sly.

I get all excited over books (Melissa Lion is the latest obsession). In a roundabout weird way, I sort of, kind of KNOW her....at least know her comments on blogs.

I am very PROUD of my husband and his photography. He has taught himself everything he knows, and he does a pretty good JOB!

So, today, I showed the picture book to another co-worker. She made ALL the appropriate noises, and comments. She complimented the photographer and subject. Whew. I was worried. Apparently it wasn't Mr. Perfectly's photography or son #1, it is just people who don't/can't appreciate something other than formal drapes and studio portraits.

I somehow was not paying attention (as is the norm) when the creative genes were handed out. I can't even draw a stick figure. Really. I don't 'decorate' my house. Some of Mr. P's photos are on the wall, and we have mismatched furniture and Dogs (oh, and Joe Kitty). That's it. My one foray into decorating was our kitchen many years ago. Yeah. Rule number one: if you don't plan on RE-DECORATING in the next decade, then don't go with 'trendy' or what's 'in' at the moment. Because later in life you may come to regret the very dark hunter green on the walls, and the white cabinets, with the burgundy laminate counter tops. Yes you may. And you may also regret the matchy-matchy burgundy and white linoleum.

I tend to want to match with my clothing too. I'm afraid to mix patterns and colors. If I can't put an item WITH something else I have or am buying, I generally don't buy it. I can't go into the depths of my closet and find random things and just put an outfit together--that looks really cool AND put together. Yikes.

On the other hand, Mr. Perfectly can draw, he can take pictures, and he throws on a t-shirt and some surfer-dude shorts, and a backwards hat, and he looks trendy and relaxed.

So, how did we get from Twitter to creativity? I have no clue. I don't have either, so maybe I'd better get on the bandwagon and try the twit craze (or is it tweet?), since I obviously can't draw, paint or photograph. Or sing. Or dance. Or write.

Hey, I'm good at watching TV and reading blogs!! That should say something!!

I'm off for now!! 10-4!

Senior Moments

Well, it appears that Dex's worm and/or intestinal condition is improving. His doodie is firm and we haven't seen any blood. He has twice the energy he had when we got him, and he's FUNNY. I mean he was funny before, too, but he slept alot. He still sleeps alot, but at least now, between long cozy naps, he races through the house, plays with Copper, chews rawhides, and runs from us when he's got something he wants that he shouldn't have. Like socks. And cords. And Kleenex.

He hasn't had any accidents in the house since my last report. I think he may be smart. He seems to be potty training (other people I know act like potty training is so hard.......), he knows 'inside' and 'outside' he knows his name, oh and he responds well to 'GOOOOOODDDD BBBOOOYYYYY'. He knows 'NO', and he very much likes to sleep on down blankets and in our bed with us. He sleeps in his cage at night with little whining, and he's SO FREAKING CUTE, it's unbelieveable.

Mr. P went to take some photos of son #1 yesterday. Mr. P is acting as a photographer for his Senior pictures. Son #1 isn't as co-operative as I'd like. I had an absolute meltdown because when I told Son #1 that I wanted him clean shaven in the photos and he flat out refused. He didn't want to go take pictures, he didn't want to shave and I went nuts. He, of course, thinks I'm nuts. He said it should be HIS choice since they were 'his' pictures. You all know Senior pictures are as much for the family as they are for the kid. No matter what I said, he totally refused to shave and practically refused to go take pictures. Arrgh. Sometimes I feel like I suck at parenting, and sometimes I feel like I get shat upon on a regular basis.

Anyway, he got lots of pictures of Son #1, unshaven. The photos are pretty good after all, but I would still enjoy them more if he were clean shaven. He said he'll take more later on and shave. We'll see how that turns out.

Okay, we picked up the photos of Son #1 and they turned out pretty good. We have (well, I have) a very specific taste regarding the 'look' of pictures. I prefer so called 'urban' backgrounds....a modern, sort of stark look. I also kind of like the railroad track look.......unfortunately, many of the pictures were taken too far away to really be used as portraits, but it was a good practice session, and there are two specifically that turned out awesome........and several more that are good. We picked about 40 examples to print out to show him what we were going for.......and hope he likes the basic result and will 'allow' Mr. Perfectly to do this again having learned from his 'mistakes' if you will. Not that he made 'mistakes', but he isn't a portrait photographer. He has never enjoyed the portrait side of things.......although I'd be willing to bet that at least some of Son #1's friends will want similiar photos of them taken. He may get into the portrait business after all.
















See? Mr. P did a pretty good job, huh? Let me know what YOU think......like I said before, alot are too far away to be 'portraits' but this gives you a sense of what he was 'going' for. I am anxious to hear if we are on the right track!!

Toodles....Happy Monday!!

Festival Schmestival

Well, we drove the 2 and a half hours to Kimmswick for the APPLE BUTTER FESTIVAL. Wow. That's really all I have to say. Wow. Kimmswick is a quaint little downtown block. Ummm....but seriously? It's not a rural area...it's not deep in the hills. It's freaking in the middle of suburbia. Arnold, Mo....which is in (or near) ST. LOUIS COUNTY. No wonder it attracts over 100,000 people in a weekend. They all just live down the street!

It was elbow to elbow people. The freaky preppie ladies that hold the kitchy crafts for Halloween and Thanksgiving to heart! The bikers who came for the BEER and Scarface King Sized Blankets. The grandma types, the crazies, and then us. Me and Mr. Perfectly. Practically holding hands with the residents of St. Louis county.

What amazed us the very most were the buses. THEY HAD SCHOOL BUSES AS SHUTTLES. We paid some biker dude $10 to park near the festival. It probably wasn't even his property, and we contributed to the beer and barbeque fund, but what the hell. The buses picked up the retirment communities and preppy moms at a church and/or school parking lot and dropped them off at the edge of town. THERE WERE AT LEAST 4 BUSES running ALL THE TIME. They'd drop a group off, and the block line of people waiting to go back to their cars would load up. Over and Over and Over.

People were LINED UP like I said, at least a block long in two different spots with their kitchy treasures and SHAMWOW towels waiting to go back to their cars. It's like they ran in for the goods and then spent their festival day waiting in line for a bus.

Oh, and they try to FOOL you.....where we came in, there were at LEAST two locations selling apple butter. I PAID ATTENTION and it was purported 'Amish' apple butter or other packaged apple butter. It wasn't the KIMMSWICK apple butter. We finally found the pavilion where they were making the apple butter. They had an open flame, a HUGE copper pot and some dude with a wooden paddle stirring it, and letting the guests of the festival stir it as well. I did have a moment of clarity, though. When reading the online stuff about this festival, I somehow was thinking they SOLD the apple butter they were making on the spot. I could NOT figure out how they'd can and preserve it safely.....Duh. It was my blonde moment. Obviously, the big copper kettle they had going could not POSSIBLY provide apple butter for 100,000 people! They have it PRE PACKAGED according to their recipe THEN sell it. I felt sort of stupid at that point.

I found what was probably a Mennonite (as opposed to Amish) run booth selling artisan goat cheese. They SUCKED ME RIGHT IN with the orange/cranberry flavor. $9 for maybe 6oz of cheese. I think I got taken....right along with the other suburbanites. I looked EVERYWHERE for my garlic grater booth, and it wasn't to be found. This was the booth I saw at the Olde Type Apple festival a few weeks ago. I should have bought them then, but didn't. Oh well.

I also looked for slumped bottles, but not as earnestly. I went to a local paint your own ceramics place, and she will be doing bottle slumping and said for a nominal fee, she'll slump MY bottles too (hopefully soon). So, if this plan comes to fruition, Internet, you all may getting cheese boards for Christmas!!

It was still a fun way to spend the day with Mr. Perfectly. What? OF COURSE I have photos!! Would I not have photos?

Here's ME!!


Here is the Apple butter pavilion---I really am not evil..I just look like it in the photo!!





Scarface:



Artisan cheese:



Okay, take a look at the far left. See all the people facing one direction in a line? That is ONE bus line. Oh, and towards the middle left? The cart the little lady is pushing? Yeah, they either were renting or selling those so people could stuff their purchases in them and go buy MORE!!



We'll keep the Kimmswick festival on our list, but man. What a long trip to spend with SO MANY PEOPLE......

Happy Sunday Afternoon!