Fashion Challenged

Holy Crapola, Batman....there's alot of SCARY choices for the larger set out there. All I want is an orange or yellow long sleeve tee shirt to go under a decade old sweater that I only wear in October. It's a Liz Claiborne, and I got it eons ago for like $3.99 at Dillards, and it looks like candy corn. It's black with orange, white and yellow stripes in it. It's great for October and October only. My white tee shirt is pretty dingy, so all I want is a new one...preferably in yellow or orange to shake the look up a bit.

I went to Cato (which I REALIZE is awfully ho-bag-ish), but they have a large selection of plus sized clothing. EVERYTHING that caught my eye was babydoll----sweaters, tunics those love/hate dress/shirt THINGS to wear over leggings.....and yes....they had leggings. LEGGINGS......with BABYDOLL......I LOVE IT.....and I just doubt my ability to pull it off. I'm FAT, people.....I'm large busted, which doesn't HELP the whole look!! Oh, so I went on to K-mart for a simple tee shirt...and what do they have THERE? The safari look. I could star on Wild Kingdom!!

I need help, internet! I don't have ANY fashion sense, and I want to be CUTE and comfy.....I don't do tight, or bulky....it must be COMFORTABLE (hence the draw to knit leggings and long tunic top dress thingies.....)

Oh, and KMart? Yea, they had orange tee shirts, but they were STUPID ones with "trick or treat" emblazoned on the breast......sheesh.......I am old, but help me out here people..........no witches or pumpkins or snowmen or puppies on the shirt. Or wolves. Or Precious Moments.......shall I go on?

Oh, and for those of you in the fashion 'know'....what the hell happened to the skinny pants coming back? In Cato they had legs SO HUGE that with them put together it looks like a long skirt. No....REALLY. The legs had HUGE diameter.......and again, on a 5'2" fat girl....that is EWWWWW. Really......EWWW. I know I'm fooling myself to think that a legging helps slim me, but it MAKES ME FEEL BETTER to see the small diameter of leggings as opposed to the pizza pan sized legs of some of the pants.

Today is son #1's 18th birthday. I haven't gotten him anything yet. We are stumped. He's not happy with us either. He wants a new phone, but that seems so lame these days. Maybe just throw a wad of cash at him.........

I guess I'm just in a funk.......and I need HELP WITH cute people! Cute birthday ideas, cute clothes...........sigh.

I'm off to more stores to see if I can find tee shirts with nothing on them. Good luck, me.

Bye for now!

Insert Cutsie Title

I've got NUTTIN today folks.....I'm just not FEELIN' the mojo.

Mister Perfectly's beautiful Grandma Roles passed away Tuesday morning. Unfortunately, over the last several years we've not had much contact with his extended family. Mr. P had a difficult childhood. That's all I'm going to say. His Grandma was a glorious ray of sunshine for him....she was warm, loving, and giving. He has NOTHING but fond, loving memories of her. She was a talented artist, and a school teacher for most of her life. She was kind and patient. His Grandad passed several years ago, and that was the last time we saw Grandma. She was put into a nursing home right after grandad's death, and that's the last place we saw her. She was beginning to not remember people, but for much of our visit, she know Mr. P and understood that the children were his....Her GREAT grandchildren....we took photos, and our boys will have a very nice memory.

My family is much different. We are all up in each other's kool aid on a regular basis. We talk frequently, and everyone knows everything. We are close and happy. I would NEVER not see my family for years and years. Granted, with the passing of my Maternal Grandmother, we have not travelled to Iowa. I feel TERRIBLY guilty about this......and keep thinking I will rectify it. My mom has come here a couple of times, and I am eternally grateful to her for those trips.

Anyway, Mr. P is now on his way to Kansas to a funeral. One that I sorrowfully could not attend as well. Son #2 has a game today in Hannibal, MO, and it would be unfair (in our minds) to pull him out of his favorite sport AGAIN (remember, he's been out with injuries twice this season) to travel for a family that he truly doesn't know well. He loves Mr. P's sisters and mom, but still does not really KNOW them........this is partially our fault. With the fact we weren't aware Grandma was sick and would possibly pass, we just decided with the animals, and kids, it would be easier to have me stay here and mind the farm, so to speak, and have Mr. P head on to be with his family. He will be a pallbearer.

This trip will be hard for Mr. P. He dearly loved his grandma---she was a very stable part of his young life. He doesn't do well with sadness, funerals, being social and all the stuff people must do in these situation. That is MY job....I'm the buffer...the chatty Cathy.....he gets to stay out of the way and in the shadows.....so besides his sadness, he'll also have all the crap he HATES to deal with.....I worry.

On a different note, the puppy is great. He's very cute. VERRRYYYYY cute. He's pretty well behaved, and has not had too many potty accidents...he's been going outside pretty well for a baby puppy......he's had 2 pee pee accidents on the floor and he tends to dribble when coming out of his cage...because he's excited. He had one pee pee in his cage itself, but other than that ....oh, and a mystery something in the hallway---it could have been puppy poo, or it could have been cat puke.......all I know is that it was soft and cold when my bare foot made contact with it. BLECH.

I'd like to think he's really smart. He's been pottying outside quite a bit. He is quiet. He drops things when we say 'NO', he knows where his food bowl is, were the toys are, where his favorite laps are....he knows how to use his doggy stairs (both up and down).....and to date, he's not barked one time. He whines and sounds like a Goose, but he doesn't bark. Yet. He runs around all floppy like a puppy does and charms the pants off of everyone.

I'd also like to mention that I'm an AWESOME cook.....With football in full swing, and Son #2 not getting home til 6:30 most nights, and having games once a week, we've become quite the fast food eaters. It's kind of gross. Even my kids who say they love fast food are SICK OF IT.

Since Mr. P had to leave, and Son #2 had a game (he likes to eat lots of carbs), I made a pasta dish...Shrimp Fra Diavolo. Hell YES it was good!! Mr. P had this at BRAVO! last week.......and it was very good. I scoured the internet looking for recipes and true to Perfectly nature, I took components of several recipes that I liked and made my OWN up........the sauce at BRAVO! was slightly creamy, and all recipes I saw was for tomato sauce only....so I kicked it up and it was sooo good. TRY IT. It is SUPER easy......

1/8 c olive oil
1/2 SMALL onion (1/4 large) diced
1 shallot diced
5 cloves of garlic GRATED (smash it and make a paste if you don't have a grater)
2t (more to taste) red chili flakes
1t dried basil
1t dried parsley
1T salt
several grinds of fresh black pepper
2 14 (or 15) oz cans diced fire roasted tomatoes (blended til smooth)
1 14 oz can tomato sauce
1/2-3/4 c dry white wine
2 lbs med shrimp (or whatever size you like)
1 lb pasta
1/2 pint of heavy cream

saute the onion and shallot in oil. Grate the garlic directly into the oil after onions are translucent. Saute for just a minute. Add all spices and stir into oil, onion mixture----cook just for another 30 seconds or so. Add tomatoes and tomato sauce......cook til bubbly. Cook for about 10 minutes....add your shrimp ( I de-tailed mine for ease of eating......most restaurants leave the shrimp with tails on). Cook til shrimp are done (while simultaneously cooking pasta).

Add cream to sauce, and wait til you reach a simmer. DON'T BOIL HARD, OR CREAM WILL BURN. Add your sauce to pasta, and top with fresh parsley and freshly grated parm cheese.

OMG...it is so good. there was quite a bit of shrimp, so you can back off of it if you want to.......my boys love shrimp, hence the extra pound I added.

You could use lobster meat, clams or other seafood you love.

The sauce was spicy, creamy and luxurious. I highly recommend it.


I used some of my allowed bereavement leave to help Mr. P prepare to leave. There was alot to do....I wish I could continue it on through tomorrow. I will worry about him until he returns. He's got an 8 hr trip into Kansas, plus the funeral and the 8 hour trip back. Physically and emotionally draining for him, be sure of that. I'm sure my coworkers are talking about me behind my back for using paid leave when I can't attend the funeral itself. That's how my office rolls....they don't take into consideration that maybe, just maybe, I might be grieving in my own way----and that I'm worried sick about Mr. P. It much more fun to gossip and talk trash than try to UNDERSTAND how people may feel.

Toodles for now people. Try the pasta....let me know if you like it.......it was AWESOME in my book!!!

Dex---updated

Well, Dex visted the Vet today--he is 5.6 lbs (I was WAYYYY off), and Brian (the vet) thinks he's more like 4 MONTHS OLD, not 7 or 7 and a half. He's just losing his inscisors, which is indicative of approximately a 4 month old puppy.

His heart/lungs are good...no fleas (Thank goodness).......he was given his vaccinations (since there was no papers on the dog to prove he'd already had them) and he was de-wormed (even though the people said they'd wormed him).....just to be safe. Brian said it would not HURT him to repeat stuff, so better safe than sorry.

He can't get neutered until he's 6 months old MINIMUM, so based on his guessed age, we'll be waiting a couple of months. He's crashed on the chair.......poor baby is TIRED...it's tough being a dog!!

He doesn't want to eat.......but the practical advice we ALWAYS get from our down home Vets is good........he'll eat when he's hungry--don't coax him, or try to feed him soft food.....he'll soon learn that dinner time is just that and he'll need to eat. Brian felt like there was little chance of him suffering ill effects learning a feeding schedule. 3x a day for the first couple of months, then back off to two times a day----dachshunds are a breed that can get tubby, so he thinks setting a schedule now will benefit us later.......

He's so freaking ADORABLE, that I can hardly STAND IT. He's snuggly and warm, and right now VERY QUIET and sweet. I know, I know....he'll grow out of that really quickly.......he'll be just as loopy and barky as the other two as time goes on!! Buster doesn't want to get his photo taken with the baby----so I'm having trouble guaging his SIZE for you;....he's itty bitty!!!

I'll work on that......

Honeymoon period

Hi!! What did Y’ALL do this weekend? I had a GLORIOUS weekend---I got to watch son #2’s football game, went to the OLDE TYPE APPLE FESTIVAL with Teenie, assisted (sort of) with Son #1’s getting ready for Homecoming, went to a swap meet, got a puppy, got lots of fun stuff at the apple festival (honey, hummingbird feeders, etc)……The weather was GORGEOUS, and it was tons of fun.

So Saturday rolled around, and we were all quite excited about Son #2’s game. Grandparents came to watch—the weather was nice…and the kids WON!! I didn’t think Teenie would be able to go to the Apple Festival with me since homecoming festivities were on for her son’s school (and my son’s school). As it turned out, we WERE able to go for a couple of hours. We wandered around aimlessly STARVING and looking for food. We stopped at a greek vendor with all sorts of awesome looking food on display. We each got a chicken pita (at $8 a pop) and went on our merry way, eating our greek food. It was NASTY. We’ve got greek restaurants around here, and I’ve eaten Greek food before….it’s highly flavorful, and YUMMY. This was bland and gristly---nothing worse, in my opinion, than fatty, gristly chicken. It wasn’t flavorful, and even the Tzatziki sauce was not much more than just plain yogurt. We found the nearest dumpster and wasted our food. And our money. I bought a cute hummingbird feeder, and some Raspberry/Jalapeno flavored honey, as well as the dark fall honey (a huge bottle of it). We tried a homemade sugar scrub, and the man who makes it took the liberty of rubbing lotion onto our arms……..that was a bit weird. We saw the COOLEST ceramic garlic graters. It’s a little ceramic plate with a rough texture at the bottom of the plate, where you rub your garlic, or ginger, or zests to grate them. It came with a little brush to gather it all up with….it was REALLY neat…..and $20…….so we skipped it, but if they have this dealie at other festivals, I’m going to buy it….it was just TOO cool. You could also grate dry stuff like nutmeg, chocolate and nuts. AND it was cute.

Teenie called me early in the evening to tell me that her EX had been at a swap meet in Versailles (yes, it’s really called VerSales) after going to the festival himself, and there were tons of animals. I had a lightbulb moment, sort of……a co-worker of mine told me about an ‘animal swap meet’ that happens each year in that area. People bring every type of animal imaginable (well, not EVERY kind, but a lot) and their junk, and set up shop for a weekend of low end garage sale stuff and animal bartering. Teenie’s ex said that they had chihuahua’s AND dachshunds……for like $50.

Well, Mr. Perfectly and I were up with the roosters yesterday morning. Well, I was up…I just couldn’t sleep. I got up at 6:30, showered and headed to Wal-Mart to buy my poor kids deodorant….they’ve been out and using Mr. Perfectly’s and that really sort of grosses us out……..I was home y 7:45 and Mr. Perfectly was begrudgingly up, and we headed to the final day of the Versailles Swap Meet. The swap meet is a 4 day long event that occurs twice a year……..and it’s a sight to behold, that’s for sure.

Mr. P took his camera, but he didn’t take any photos. I wish he would have, though. I’ve never really seen anything like this before. There were pigeons, guineas, chickens, geese, goats, rabbits, dogs, LLAMAS, turkeys…….and some pretty sorry looking folk with a bunch of JUNK selling it. It was like a huge barn and garage sale. It was sort of scary and surreal. I asked some lady if she’d seen any dachshund puppies for sale (we’d found the Chihuahua puppies, but they were flea infested……a fact she didn’t tell me until AFTER I’d held and loved on them….even today, I feel creepy crawlies on me) . She’d SEEN puppies being carried around, but didn’t know where they were being sold----we drove to the camper down the way and found 4 dachshund dogs. 2 adults and 2 babies.

Well, we couldn’t resist, and ended up buying one of the cute puppies for $30 (the Sunday discounted price…down from $50). He’s absolutely adorable, and his name is Dex. The crazy lady that had him says he’s 7 and a half months old, but I am doubting her accuracy. He’s a miniature dachshund, but still he only weighs probably 4 lbs TOPS……maybe he is that old, but I’m taking him to the vet today to make sure there are no worms, fleas and to see how hold he really is. HE’S ADORABLE.

The lady selling the pups wasn’t quite right. She toddled up to us with her Pentecostal bun in complete disarray and acted like they were her precious pets, yet indicated that they lived in kennels outside. She didn’t HAVE inside dogs. She told us about the baby daddy (who was in the cage next to them) named Jimmy Dean---she said Jimmy Dean spent his days wagging his tail against the kennel wires, and constantly knocked the hair off of his tail, so they docked the babies tails when they were born. WTF? Who docks a dachshund tail? They didn’t even dock it ‘correctly’….usually docked tails are nothing but a little round nub above the butt----but this tail is maybe 2 inches long…….so he has enough tail to tuck down….we just handed her the $30 and took off with Dex……I think he already realizes it’s better in the house than outside.

Oh, here are some pictures.






Oh, and here is a sign that you see (billboard) coming into Versailles. This is a community with a large Mennonite population, so one sees scripture signs at EVERY turn….at every driveway…..on billboards. It’s a very heavy influence….but still….does nobody but me and Mr. Perfectly see the sheer MADNESS of this particular sign? I think some of my co-workers were offended that I saw such humor in a scripture.


Anyway---that is my weekend fun…..what did YOU do?

Happy Monday---I’ll let you all know the stats on Dex when I see the vet……..by for now!!

Yer Darn Right, Dontcha Know!!!

Wink, Wink.

I’m all for folksy, people….really. I live in a folksy part of the world---I kind of enjoy country euphemisms, and the fun way people get their points across. I often use improper ‘lingo’ when trying to illustrate the absolute RURALNESS of where I live….despite the fact it’s a Capitol City (or is it Capital? I never get that one right-------someone smart, weigh in on that for me).

But for God’s sakes…..the first wink and the first Soccer Mom reference in last night’s debate set me off----it actually insulted me. I’m a middle class American…..I’m an athletic supporter (haha….get the joke…….hahaha-------), I have teenagers, I worry about paying for college, ALL the things Sarah Palin tried to say made she and I ALIKE…..But talk to me like an adult…..not like a farmer over the back 40 fence.

In actuality, her demeanor didn’t allow me to truly HEAR what she had to say…….I tried, I REALLY tried….but I can’t think of ANYTHING that I really remember that she said that sticks out in my mind. I was insulted and felt like she was trying to be someone she’s NOT to ‘appeal’ to the ‘average’ American.

I don’t’ know may average Americans that WINK in general conversation. It was Friggin’ Absurd!! (wink, wink)

Ok, enough of my un-educated political talk……..

I am disappointed, Internet Friends. There is a HUGE Festival tomorrow. HUGE. It’s the Olde Tyme Apple Festival in Versailles (pronounced VerSales, for you French enthusiasts). It’s supposed to be 75 and SUNNY…..a beautiful festival day. But, son #2 has a game at 11. I so want to see him play---so I’ll go to the game, HAPPILY as a matter of fact……but there’s that little selfish corner of my brain that wishes the game were another day so I could FESTIVAL………it makes me feel like a bad mom to be disappointed to miss the festival…..I wouldn’t THINK of missing his game, but I wish there was (or is it were?) a way to do both.

I didn’t get a SINGLE comment yesterday (oops, now I,ve gotten one!! Thanks Tawny!!). I’m really sad……I need some serious advice about the dog situation. TALK ME OUT OF IT PEOPLE!!! Dash is just too cute to pass up!! The rescue group is coming through my city on Wednesday and said they’d bring him…………HELLLLPPPPPPP.

Mr. Perfectly noticed yesterday that CRISSY is in 2nd place for the ‘Hottest Mommy Blogger”---Y’all may get your wish of seeing her nekkid on the internet! Keep voting and help me WIN the sweepstakes!!!

Happy Friday!!!!

Bravo!!

The freshman boys lost. 17 to 6. Personally I consider that a success, since our JV team was beaten by the Rockhurst JV team 63-0 on Monday. So, the freshman keeping the score a tad lower and at least SCORING was quite a success in my book!! Son #2 sadly didn’t get to play—I guess his lumbar injury and being forced to not practice for 8 days hurt his standing on the team. He only got one full practice day (Monday) and the light practice that they do for pre-game (Tuesday). He wasn’t happy about not playing either.

I possibly had one of the best restaurant meals EVER last night. Now, please realize that I don’t live in an area with fine dining. I doubt I’ve ever been to a TRULY fine dining establishment---well, maybe once on the “HILL” in St. Louis……but seriously..I’ve been to some nicer places in my life, and I do very much enjoy good food, but I strongly suspect I don’t KNOW good food. My budget is not a ‘fine dining’ budget and around here, if it’s not fried and smothered in gravy, then it’s not worth eating. We live in a very meat and potatoes community.

I am accustomed to a decent Italian place around here, but it’s predictable and reliable. It’s one of the ‘nicer’ places in town. When we go out of town, we do try to go to nicer places, too, but obviously, not on a $150 per person price tag…….

Anyway, Rockhurst High School is on the state line of Kansas and Missouri. We got in quite early, and perused over to the Overland Park, Kansas area to shop. We found an ‘upper’ shopping area---at least stores we don’t have around here. Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, Williams Sonoma. I’ve never been to ANY of these stores……..if it’s not Dillards, JC Penney or Sears, we don’t got it around here. Oh, or Wal Mart. If we go to the Lake of the Ozarks, there is an outlet mall with some specialty type shops, but still nothing on the line of Williams Sonoma.

We saw Dean and Deluca, and I’ve heard the Martha Stewart Wanna Be in our office talk about Dean and Deluca, but was not POSITIVE what it was. I thought they specialized in gourmet items, but the establishment LOOKED like a restaurant. At the football game, we decided to try them for dinner since they were close. Well, for those of you not in the know (like us) Dean and Deluca DOES sell sandwich-ish foods, and you can eat there, but it apparently (according to Perfectly’s dad) is more of a gourmet grocery. Since we wanted dinner and not sandwiches (even if gourmet) we left and started driving around the high end shopping area. There were a couple of places, but nothing that looked awesome, and suddenly we saw an Italian place. We all LOVE Italian, and decided to give it a shot. It was a chain (which Perfectly’s dad generally HATES), called BRAVO! Cucina Italiana.

I ordered the Grilled Georges Bank Scallops “sea scallops grilled and served on a bed of spinach Ricotta gnocchi, roasted sweet potatoes and sherry lobster sauce”

I chose this dish because I’d never eaten gnocchi. I’ve wanted to TRY it for ages, and have been too chicken to make it myself, and OMG……was it good.

Their prices were reasonable (my large, rich scallop dish was $18.99), and the food was quite good. They had $2 off martini’s too! I also know this isn’t ‘fine’ dining, but it certainly was good dining! And I now know I love gnocchi.

Lastly, I need advice. From ALL OF YOU that read me…..you know the 5’s of you!! Mr. Perfectly and I are waffling on a puppy. Specifically THIS puppy. Should we or shouldn’t we? Remember, we’ve got a houseful now. His name is DASH.

He's a Dachshund/Chihuahua mix. Approx. 12 weeks old.



Happy Thursday, my gnocchi loving friends!!

Hannibal Lecter

My poor baby, Buster, has an injured leg. He hops along about 2/3rds of the time on 3 legs and his left front leg, up and dangling. He lets us manipulate it, and feel it, and he doesn’t cry, but we don’t know WHY he seems to hurt. He RUNS like crazy after squirrels in the backyard, but hip hops through the house.

I finally took him to the Vet on Monday afternoon. I warned him (the Vet) that Buster can snap sometimes (one time, I thought he was going to take the hand off a vet who was giving him shots……..he may be small, but he bites HARD when he wants to). This was a new veterinarian that I’d never met. He joined a practice of 3 other vets that I’ve seen for years….they are down to earth, and not ‘doctor-ish’ at all….they are practical, and less expensive than many local vets.

I also knew Buster needed vaccinations---it had been (cough) 2 years, so since we were THERE, I figured it was a good idea. I also asked for some sort of sedative for poor Copper to come get HIS overdue shots as well….because the poor dog HATES to ride in the car….so we have half of a pink happy pill for him…….he’ll have no idea what hit him……..poor stupid pup……

ANYWAY…..I told New Vet that Buster can be snappy---Buster was obviously scared, and didn’t seem snappy, but the vet was all on pins and needles anyway (the man puts his whole arm in cow’s butts……why would the mere THREAT of a little dog snapping make him so jumpy??). He asked me if we should muzzle Buster, and I reluctantly told him it may not be a bad idea, especially since we needed to administer shots.

New Vet went to a cabinet and pulled out a leather muzzle and affixed it to poor Busters schnozz, and I swear people, he looked like THIS:




He sort of got that crazed look in his eyes, and tried to use his paws to pull it off---he even cried…like it hurt. He didn’t growl or snap ONE TIME (good boy!!)—I took the muzzle off once we were done, and put him on the floor, and he jumped and slammed himself into me (wanting to be picked up), and the New Vet insulted my intelligence by telling me that maybe Buster was ‘seeking attention’ around the house by holding his paw up…….

So the vet visit was a bust, and I now totally regret not taking the camera so we could get pictures of little Hannibal………the resemblance was striking!

We are off to Kansas City today for a football game. The freshman boys play against the toughest opponents in the state---KC Rockhurst. My cute cousin and her kids and husband may come to watch, which will be fun!! They live across the state line into Kansas, so it’s a little bit of a trip for them as well, but it’s a chance to get together for a little while. Perfectly’s dad is going, so it will be a nice family day. Except it’s on a WEDNESDAY, and the taking off work early, and leaving town and stuff makes it seem like a FRIDAY, and it isn’t. Tomorrow morning will be SUCH a bummer.

Toodles for now. Everyone have an AWESOME hump day!!