Impatient

I admire people who are able to take one topic per day and blog about it. It seems like this would give one a nearly UNLIMITED supply of blogs---but I seem totally unable to do that. I blog about EVERY little thing that rumbles through my brain as I’m composing a post. THEN, I get freaked out that I FORGOT some little comment or tidbit that would make my musings funnier, or more insightful, or even more stupid!

I don’t know what the rules of blogging are. Therefore, my own rules go! I’ll blog about whatever I want, and ramble on as long as I want, and if you don’t like it, then read it anyway---and COMMENT……..only be nice. I’m scared of hateful comments.

There are SO many things to share----There is no rhyme or reason to the order in which my musings are noted…….

Son #2’s spina bifida is a ‘non-issue’ to quote the Orthopedist that saw him yesterday. Props to the doctors here and at Columbia Orthopaedic Group that were generous enough to get this situation worked out SPEEDILY……I mean c’mon……A family doctor visit which diagnosed the spina bifida (SB) Friday morning, an MRI an hour later, and RESULTS from the MRI in my hands by 4pm Friday afternoon, and then a SPECIALIST appointment by Monday at 10:30. Wow. I was able to take x-rays and a CD of his MRI with me to the appointment on Monday, so the doctor had all the info right in front of him. Athletes in Mid Mo are ‘taken care of’ so to speak. The doctors know how coaches are and so forth, but this is a Freshman player---not a college level player….therefore I am truly grateful that everyone was so accommodating to us. As it turnes out, son #1 is cleared to play any and all sports he wants to. This SB is a non-issue in his life, and he is not at any greater risk than anyone else of his activity level of back injury…….Son #2 was very happy about that. He was NOT so happy to hear that his lumbar injury that he got Thurs. night (that caused the doctor visit that found the SB) would keep him out of the game until NEXT Monday. I keep reminding him that a week off is way better than a lifetime off, but to a 15 yr old, a week is a lifetime. Although, I must say, he’s been very good about all of this. He is understanding that he’s lucky----but I know he’s still frustrated to not be able to jump right back in. He’ll miss a game on Thursday…….but he’ll be back for their toughest opponent the following week.

I have x-rays that Mr. Perfectly will try to scan and I’ll illustrate what the deal is…..it’s kind of interesting…especially knowing it does not affect his life or well being in any way. But I forgot to bring them home last night, and I don’t have those yet. Watch later tonight or tomorrow for x-ray shots…..if they scan okay, that is.

McDonalds new “Mocha’s” are NASTY. Nasty. I am all for the flavored powdered stuff that gas station machines spew out….and then call coffee (or cappuccino)…..I think they taste good! But I couldn’t even finish this stuff. It had some weird aftertaste……or during taste……I don’t know, it was just awful.

Perfectly’s dad has been having his 1967 Chevy Camaro restored. He bought it new in 1967. I drove it as a teenager (and was mortified to drive an ‘old’ car). It’s a three speed (on the ‘tree’) and it’s turquoise in color. He had it ‘restored’ once before, but wasn’t real pleased with the results, and it has been being ‘restored’ again for the last 2 years. They guy doing it is METICULOUS and has taken a lot of time and care in this restoration. Mr. Perfectly and Perfectly’s dad are going to try to hang out with the car at the city’s last downtown car show of the year. They have one at the end of each month during the summer………and I think they are both excited at the idea. Mr. Perfectly is a car fanatic……..Son #1 wants to ‘borrow’ the newly restored car for Homecoming. Ha. I doubt that will happen. I’m anxious to see how it all goes.

Stoogie wanted to see a picture of my ‘slumped’ bottle to use as a cheese board. So, for your viewing pleasure, here’s a photo…..oh, and one of the tiara I bought……







I wish I could make these….it is such a cool idea…….I could give them as work presents at Christmas! A packaged cheese ball mix, a cheese spreader, and the board, and VIOLA!!!---instant gift. In the picture, it looks like the bottle may not be very flat, but it is......as flat as it CAN BE..... the round part of the bottom of the bottle does stick up A LITTLE, but not as much as the photo depicts. IT's really a cute, albeit kitchy idea!

That’s all I’ve got for now. I seriously thought I had a lot more stuff to talk about, but I guess my advanced age is preventing me from remembering…….I’m sure as soon as I hit ‘publish’, I’ll remember them, and be annoyed at myself.

Toodles for now!

The California, MO Ham and Turkey festival

Yep, you read that correctly---a festival devoted to the Ham and Turkey production in California, MO. Burger's smokehouse, and Cargill turkey production is highlighted in this homey, Ozark festival. If you all need gifts to ship or something 'different' for those of you not living in Missouri, contact Burgers, and get a catalog....they have really good meat products.....seriously.

Mr. Perfectly and I trekked the 20 miles to this festival. We were looking forward to smoked turkey legs (they are huge) and freshly squeezed lemonade, homemade potato chips, and homemade apple butter.

The festival must be lacking vendors this year, because we weren't sure if they had the homemade potato chips, or turkey legs (we didn't see them), and the DID NOT have my homemade apple butter. NO APPLE BUTTER...that's the only reason I WENT!!

I did, however, buy 2 princess tiara's (one for me and one for Teenie), and a melted bottle to use as a cheese tray. I'm now obsessed. Hey, I drink wine---and sometimes from a bottle (as opposed to a box)...so I want to make flattened, melted bottles to use for crackers and cheese. The problem is that I don't have a kiln. Anyone out there have a spare kiln I could use for a couple of months? And the Cliffs Notes version of how to operate it?

Anyway, our festival adventure was mildly disappointing......we did get freshly squeezed lemonade and limeade, which was.....meh...just okay......and Mr. Perfectly got a corndog (I DETEST corndogs.....blech), and we got a ham sandwich---from the Burgers Smokehouse tent. It was actually quite good despite the fact when I opened it up, I saw a nearly soggy hamburger bun with a couple of slabs of ham thrown on it. I was worried, Internet about the $4.00 I'd spent for it....but it ended up being quite good........

Here are some festival photos. It looks like there were thousands of people in attendance...I know...but really it wasn't very crowded.......I think it's the long couple of blocks long camera angle..........Ummm...yeah, the 'camera angle' is also responsible for my ample backside...yea!! That's it!!!




Here's some of the 'entertainment' on the South Flat Bed Truck......I mean STAGE....oops STAGE is what I meant......



We called son #1 so he could come and get his tattoo finished, but alas, he was working.....he should have come...what a DEAL!!


Here is the washer competition. I am not sure what washers is....a game akin to horseshoes, I assume. People were nuts about it, though!!


Here is the hand thrown pottery! I ADORE hand thrown pottery. I also have realized I can't afford hand thrown pottery!! Even in rural MO. The covered dish I'm looking at was $40...so until I get that kiln, I'm stuck admiring it.



Mr. Perfectly and I were SO SURPRISED at the people that showed up to this small town festival!!




Oh Crissy? Awesome Networking!!



Stoogie, Mr. Perfectly wants to make 'sure' he wins that prize package........he wants the Photoshop most rabidly!! What does one need to do to assure a win? I mean 'randomly' of course.............how do we assure his 'random' winning of the prizes?

Toodles for now!!

And the award for bringing Perfectly's spirits up is........

DINGO!! Woot Woot!!

Dingo, you made me laugh out loud, and I've had a STRESSFUL day, therefore the laughter is most welcome. I see that you DO pay attention to my little ramblings. How I wish you were HERE to have some of those $1.50 margaritas with me tonight! Actually, I think they are $3.95 on 'non' margarita nights........still, not to bad.

OK, First and foremost my baby got hurt playing football last night. I (luckily) didn't see him NOT GET UP AFTER BEING TACKLED (otherwise, a sweaty fat mama would have been on the field with the sweaty, fit football players). He apparently got up and I saw him limp off of the field. Now, bless his heart, Son #2 has been known to over play his conditions.......but this is FOOTBALL....and boys don't fake it, you know? So, I assumed he had a leg/knee/ankle injury of some sort. The doctor on the field began messing with his BACK----his BACK people!! They pulled his helmet off (another sign of doom) and I saw shaking of heads (translated as 'you are out for the night) and some pissed off boy walking, etc. The doctor came back and affixed an ice pack to his back (lower left, for the record). They put what looks like saran wrap around whatever body part is hurt----with the ice under it, and it secures the ice to the body without the player having to hold it (those un-reliable teenagers!!!). This mama was NOT happy.....I missed the rest of the game for keeping my keen mama eyes on my kid for the duration. He limped ALOT (ok....limping means legs, right? not back WTF??)

As it turned out, he HAD injured his back. The Doctor (whom I now know to be an orthopaedist---) said he was bruised, and to keep it iced. He complained of severe pain last night, so we called the family doctor....we ended up giving him 500 mg of Naprosen.......that didn't seem to help....he said he was up alot in the night (awakened, that is). His lower left back was SWOLLEN....how does a skinny back SWELL? So, being the momsey womsey that I am, I made him an appointment to see the doctor. The doctor was surprised at the 'puffiness' of the back area (ok, so I said swollen---it sounds more serious than 'puffy'). They did an x-ray. The injury appeared to be a spasming muscle, for which he got drugs (lucky kid). BUT....now's the REST of the story....

He has a condition called SPINA BIFIDA OCCULTA. Yes, SPINA BIFIDA. This did not make the mama very happy. The doctor prescribed an MRI and NO FOOTBALL (seeing as there is some sort of opening to the freaking spinal cord) until an Orthopaedic dr evaluates the situation. I STRONGLY suggested to the referral clerk that we get an mri TODAY. An an Ortho consult TODAY. And guess what? We got the MRI TODAY...but no ortho consult.

I came home and immediately googled Spina Bifida. That is what the doctor told me son #2 has. I am thinking wheelchairs, neurological deficits, and all the TERRIBLE things we moms are warned about during pregnancy. Apparently, there is more than ONE TYPE of spina biffida, and he has the most minor and most common variety. I found the occulta name ON MY OWN (thanks for the panic, Doc). We miraculously got the mri results by 3pm today (see, living in a small city does have it's perks) Here is the IMPRESSION of the radiologist:

1. Minimal posterior fusion defect at S1, with no MRI evidence of associated complication. Specifically, there is no evidence of a stress fracure in the lumbosacral spine, and no evidence of instability in the lumbar spine.

2. No spinal canal, lateral recess or neural foramina stenosis is present at any level.

What does that mean? I have no earthly idea, but I see minimal defect and no stenosis (which sounds bad)...so I feel better.

THEN I came home to google where in the heck S1 is in the back, and found Dingo's comment, which made me LAUGH OUT LOUD, which I really needed.

I feel loved people. You all LIKE ME, YOU REALLY, REALLY LIKE ME!!

We are still required to get a 'free to play football' pass from an orthopaedist, but from googling spina bifida occulta, it doesn't appear that there's tons of sports related info on it, therefore, we are assuming (ahem, hoping) that maybe this means he'll be able to play as normal---no restrictions. I'll give the doctor who evaluated is non spina bifida injury last night a copy of the findings and we'll see what he thinks. He doesn't take spinal referrals, but he is the football volunteer doctor, and he IS an orthopod, so hopefully he'll at least have some educated insight to all of this.

And I missed work.........which is fine....but on a FRIDAY---my favorite day!!!

So, see people? I need margaritas tonight!! And some nachos. Who's buying?

Meme

I’ve been tagged by Jakki for a meme. I've never gotten tagged before!! When I get emails demanding I forward stuff, I ignore it….I don’t care if I won’t have the angels watching over me. I don’t buy into urban legends. But the meme has intrigued me. Therefore, I shall do it, and tag 6 others…….. YOU ALL BETTER COME THRU….because you know how I crave love and acceptance!!

6 UNSPECTACULAR things about me:

1) I adore television
2) I am easily frustrated, irritated and often anxious
3) I over analyze almost everything
4) I love dogs—especially Chihuahuas and Dachshunds
5) I like flavored coffee (chocolate mint and Jamaica Me Crazy, especially)
6) I am secretly thrilled that my boys are good looking and popular.

Here are the detailed instructions, carefully copied and pasted from Jakki’s site:

Directions:
1. link the person who tagged you
2. mention the rules on your blog
3. list 6 unspectacular things about you
4. tag 6 other bloggers by linking them

And I tag the FOLLOWING:

Stoogie
Lynne
Dingo
Crissy
Keep Your Receipt
Whiskey Marie

Ok, I am not sure how many of those people read my blog regularly, so if y’all know them, send them a shout out and let them know, will you?

Love you all…….really, I do…….just check your site meters….you’ll see that I stalk you all regularly!!

Toodles!

Weekend Part Deux

Ok, so the hot tub incident. Well, I was being quite serious when SD (stepdad) tried to hoist mom from the hot tub with his belt. What I am UNCERTAIN about is if he strapped it around her and pulled or if he threw it to her like a life line and pulled.

I also was quite serious when I said that SD actually got back into the tub WITH MOM to try to lift her out by placing his arms under HER arms to try to get her up and stable footing. For a few minutes HE was stuck too....he couldn't get footing in the too slick tub. What I am uncertain of is if he went in dressed or if he undressed all over again to rescue her. Or even if he'd dressed since HIS stint in the hot tub. THIS is a question that I will not ask my mom. I do not want to know. He eventually got out.....

I was also quite serious when I said that my mom packed armfuls of bubbles from the hot tub to the sinks and shower. She has a photo of her shower stall nearly half full up the glass with bubbles---ONLY bubbles she'd taken out of the tub. She also used the sinks, so there was even more than what I got to see. She SAYS she only put a tablespoon of bubble bath in this huge tub....just like the directions said......as well as a scoop of bath salts......she was unsure as to whether or not she was supposed to use them TOGETHER.....apparently not.

I was also quite serious when my mom contemplated calling the fire department or Mr. Perfectly to rescue her. She realized when SD got into the tub with her to try to help that they were BOTH stuck in this huge tub with no phones or cellphones nearby. I think this is when she panicked. She envisioned herself calling out for help in this bed and breakfast hoping another guest or the proprietor would save them. I think this would have been more mortifying for her than to have Mr. Perfectly come in and yank her out.

My mother is youthful, and lovely, but unfortunately, no matter how you slice this, we had a 63 yr old naked, slippery woman and her 70 yr old possibly naked, slippery husband sliding through the suds trying to escape a sure hellish way to die.


Ok, PICTURES EVERYONE!!

As you've read, Maddison turned 5 in August, and we attended her annual birthday party. There's always lots of fun and cuteness to go around.




Here's my MOMMY and SD (in the back--Heather is in the foreground):




Here's me and son #1


Jasmine the dog didn't get to come. My brother stayed home and the dog stayed with him.

The Freshman boys won their game last Thursday night, so it was a good, fun weekend!

That's all folks!

See you tomorrow.

Slippery Slope

Did you all miss me? I missed you!

Mr. Perfectly got his telephoto lens. It keeps getting bigger, so I guess he's happy.

I imagine I'll have lots of close up pictures to show you......

Mom's visit was nice, but too short. They stayed here on Friday night and apparently, things got sort of messy. My mom and stepdad wanted a suite with a hot tub. They decided with their trip here they'd have a 'mini' vay cay and have some time to themselves.

Mom has not had alot of experience with hot tubs. I mean, neither have I, but still.....the proprietor of Cliff Manor left bath salts and bubble bath and instructions how to use them on the side of the tub. She used what she says the instructions indicated, and they were overrun with bubbles. Apparently my mom was carrying them to the shower and sinks by the armload to try to get them out of the tub......I guess by the time she was done, the shower stall was pretty full with suds. My stepdad apparently didn't gauge the heat in the tub and came up after time looking like a lobster. He encouraged mom to get in....that the jets of water would RELAX her.......she managed to get stuck. She couldn't get out of the tub. It was too slick and soapy for her to get a foothold, and she literally was stuck. She was fearful that she'd have to call the manager, the fire department or my husband to hoist her out......my stepdad even went so far as to get his belt and try to pull her out with it. He got into the tub with her and tried to LIFT her out, but to no avail.

Finally, after 40 minutes of panicked floundering, she drained the tub and put a towel down to get her footing and emerged......not relaxed, needless to say. She was laughing about it Saturday, but I supposed when it was happening it was pretty scary. She said she was glad she didn't have to call Mr. Perfectly to rescue her. Nobody is MORE glad about that than Mr. Perfectly.

Mr. Perfectly finds himself in awkward situations sometimes. Like the time he had to help my VERY elderly (but dearly loved) Great Aunt onto and off of the toilet, while my grandma had to handle the 'cleaning up' side of things. Or the time my Mom nearly was stuck in our new water bed. Or the time my mom was visiting me in the hospital after son #1 was born, and she was loudly farting (because she was laughing so hard) onto a large wooden rocking chair. The sound reverberated off the wood and echoed.

These, internet, are the things my poor husband has to endure in my family.

He also gets hurt alot while helping my dad on the farm. He's broken an arm, been bitten by cats (and had to get IV Antibiotics as a result), broken a finger, torn a tendon and other various things........ and he still puts up with us.....

Anyway, we had a birthday party for Maddi, and although I promised, I'm afraid I didn't get many pictures of Mom. I have a couple and will post them.....I have some of me and son #1 that turned out good.......son #2 was sitting away from my grasp, so he managed to escape motherly embraces for photos. Not to worry, I'll get him later.


I realized today that I haven't told you one of my idiosyncrasies. I can't suck on hard candies. I immediately chew them up and annihilate them. I do it with suckers, mints and any hard candies I try to eat. I start with the goal to suck them, but it never works out. I ALWAYS chew them up. What's up with that? It's probably some deep seated psychological thing or something. I'm sure it can be analyzed like my snake dreams.

Well, that's it for now, folks. I know it was RIVETING conversation, but that's all I've got this late on a Monday........I wasn't going to post even, but I thought that some of you may actually want to see what I have to say, so I decided to give you a small peek into the weirdness of my world.

Toodles for now!!

I’m going to need to have a chat with my dogs today

Not only is my MOMMY and Stepdad coming for a visit, so is their dog, Jasmine. Jasmine is the calmest, mildest mannered dog I’ve ever met. She’s pleasant, and obedient. She’s CUTE, and basically an all around perfect dog. She’s house trained, she doesn’t bark or growl…..I just love her.

Buster and Copper, however, are untrainable BOORS, that will behave like stupid schoolboys as soon as the Maternal crew arrives. Copper will race around the room looking for an open gob to French Kiss, Buster will bark, and growl and demand to be petted and there will be MUCH tail wagging and butt sniffing (from the canines, not the humans……puhleeezzzz!!).

I need to explain to them that Jasmine is their AUNTIE, and cannot be expected to tolerate their barking, humping and general mayhem. That she’s a genteel lady that is deserving of them giving up their beds and food…..that she should go through doors first, and be treated regally. Do you think they’ll buy it? Buster will roll his eyes and flip me off when I’m not looking, and Copper will not process the information until AFTER Auntie Jasmine has left (OHHHH…..she didn’t want me to BOTHER the hottie of an Auntie).

The house REEKS of onions. I know……”Welcome, Mom!! To the house of ONIONS”….it’s really bad. Mr. Perfectly tried Febreeze, and a potpourri of apples and cinnamon boiling on the stove….NOTHING worked. Our house stinks like dogs anyway….at least I assume it does, since my housekeeping skills are sorely lacking, and we have two dogs…..it’s inevitable…..Oh, well….maybe Jasmine will like it.

I will give you a glimpse into my work life. I have vowed not to blog about work, except in generalities, and so far have managed to accomplish that for the most part. So, anyway, we had an office party for a co-worker’s 40th birthday. There was lots of non-work and eating happening…..Jakki decided that she wanted to take a picture of me. Why? I have no clue. So as she was fiddling with her camera….. I gave her a pose. And instead of FIDDLING WITH THE SETTINGS on the camera….she took a photo……..of the ‘pose’.



Why, you ask, are you blogging about it? Why not? I generally embarrass myself in SOME way, shape or form during any given day, why is this any different? Besides, it’s fabulous blog fodder……and you can see YET ANOTHER one of my $5 shirts. Oh…….here’s the ‘real’ picture she took as well.



Welcome to my world, Internet. I promise that I washed that finger, so now we can shake hands and say we officially know each other!!

This is my FRIDAY---woo hoo……I do love my Friday’s on a Thursday! Oh, keep your fingers crossed that the Freshman team WINS THEIR GAME tonight………(in the rain……watch the frizz happen in front of your EYES).