Monday, August 17, 2009

The Zoo I call Life

I live in a nutty, nutty world.

I'd like to point out a few things that are CRAZY in my life. I don't do bullet points, so y'all will have to deal with it my way...the not computer literate way.

1) My oldest son (whose now in college) doesn't want to talk to me. Unless he needs something. Like how to bake a frozen pizza without a pan. THE INSTRUCTIONS SAY HE NEEDS A PAN...HE DOESN'T HAVE A PIZZA PAN. What should he do? Can he bake it right on the rack? AM I SURE IT WILL BE OKAY BAKED RIGHT ON THE RACK??? Really sure????

2) Despite the fact college boy didn't want to converse with me, I decided to call him back to check the result of the pizza being baked on the rack instead of IN A PAN. And to make sure he turned off the oven and wasn't burning the dorm down on night #2. He was harried and out of breath when I reached him. He was freaked out because he didn't have any way to get the PIZZA OUT OF THE OVEN. He didn't have an OVEN MITT. I wanted to tell him to man up....that Bobby Flay just pulls crap out of pans and ovens with his BARE HANDS.......but instead of paying for a hospital co-pay, I reminded him that he had brand new hand towels in his room that he could use in lieu of an OVEN MITT.

3) When waiting to check him in to the dorm (prior to being able to move in), I sat next to a girl who'd apparently been waiting longer than she wished to for her turn to check in. She commented very softly that the people BEFORE the ones in the room at that time were there for 45 MINUTES. And she sighed real big. She kept talking in this little tiny mousey voice....I never could hear her....and after asking her to repeat herself several times, I just got up and left. I still was never sure if she was talking to me or to herself.

4) When moving son #1 INTO his dorm room, he was totally appalled that I was not going to be carrying his stuff into his room for him while he unpacked his clothing from a suitcase. He couldn't understand WHY he had to carry all that stuff in when he had UNPACKING to do.

5) My husband walked into the bathroom to put something away for Son #1, and encountered one of the OTHER guys from the OTHER room using their shared bathroom......yeah...dude..we'll shake hands later........sorry for the AWKWARD moment!! Learn to lock common doors before you take a whiz.

6) After a week of loud arguing, and packing and me freaking out over the move to the dorm....we left. We were on the road....I texted son #2 to let him know we were on the way to the college. He was at football Practice, and I thought it to be a nice mom thing to do to let him know we were leaving town. So I texted something like " We are on the way to Moberly....see you later!!". His response? "What are you doing there?". Seriously..........did you miss the fact that your brother graduated, packed and moved out of the house? That the shouting wasn't all for fun?

7) Today, Son #1 texted me asking me for some information regarding his internet access.....I called him (because texting is a pain in the ass), and he was annoyed to be talking to me. I gave him the place where he needed to go, and tried to talk to him and was met with a resounding "I don't want to talk to you!!", and a hang up. Literally a minute later a text from him came through "What room did you say it was?". If I wasn't such a wuss, I'd have said "you didn't want to TALK TO ME....remember??". But of course, I didn't. I saved his ass and gave him the info.

I am sad, nervous and wished he could live me forever. I'm also worried that somehow he WILL live with me forever. I don't understand how our lives seem so crazy when other's seem quite normal and easy.

Maybe other people have the same things happen to them........they just hide it and live the percieved 'perfect life' that I wish for. I's amazing that he managed to get out of his room by himself.........but yet he's old enough to hold a cigarette, or if ever drafted a freaking amazes me that people so young are expected to SURVIVE. It's scary, people.

Toodles for now.


Lynne said...

My son NEVER called home when he was away at college, I always had to call him. Later I found out that on some of the weekends that he was going to just "hang around at school" he was actually in New York City or Washington DC. And NOT STUDYING AT ALL. Keep in touch - even drop in on him if you can. I wish I had.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Yeah, he apparently came back to our town yesterday to see his girlfriend. He managed to not stop by home, though. That was quite a shot to the heart.

Daisee579 said...

Aww Shells. It has to get better. :)

And remember, no one lives a perfect life. No one. No matter how hard I try to think everyone else has a better life than me, no one has a perfect one. Every mom goes through some version of this (I guess, I've not been a mom, what do I know). It'll be okay! If not, we'll meet up in St. Louis and get drunk - you know, after January.

stoogepie said...

Thanks for the tip about the hand towels. I will finally be able to get that pizza out of the oven I cooked when I first moved into this apartment.

Daisee579 is right: there are no perfect lives. And in a few years Son #1 will realize how easy he had it, all thanks to you and Mr. Perfectly. Make sure you keep these posts. Some day, probably soon, Son #1 will read them and not recognize himself.