Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I measured my Wiener
He needs a sweater. Teenie got a sewing machine for Christmas, and she may attemt a rudimentary cloak or something. I also put in a plea to my favorite all-in-one Author/Blogger/Knitter/Baker---and figure she's laughing her ass off at my and Dex's expense. (tell me, oh great author, how does one properly say 'my and Dex's' expense???? How I said it doesn't sound right)
Ph.D. is also a knitter....so maybe I could implore HER to pull out the dusty knitting needles and make my baby puppy a sweater!
Oh, in case any Knitter/Blogger/Author (or Ph.D.) is reading this.......we LOVE orange. Like the hat. Only just in case delicate yarn is expensive and non-washable, we need cheap and pee proof. Or pee washable.
He has very strange measurments, or my skills as a pseudo seamstress SUCK. He's approximately 15 inches long from his neck to his butt. He's approx 13 inches around in his widest belly/barrel chest part, and his front leg from pit to paw is 5 inches.
I've already told my favorite MelissaLion about my desire for a sweater and she hasn't shown herself for a while, so she either forgot I STALK HER and know all her mad skillz, or she's hiding hoping I never bring it up again.....how awkward...'Hi Stranger that isn't really a total stranger.....knit my weiner a sweater'. Here is her potential response: "oh, hi...you weird stalker-ish person......make your OWN dam weiner sweater'.
Ph.D.......you can't tell me that......you know how horribly my 'vision' in the artsy world is.......just tell be to blow off.
As long as I'm asking for the moon.....I want a painting. Certain individuals that read this blog will KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
maybe they'll take payments..... $5 a month for the rest of my LIFE? My first=born? (He likes you better anyway---)
Hmmmm.....what else do I want? Oh...I know.....Stoogie's identity and Crissy's phone number (so I can call her and we can TALK FOR HOURS). I'd take MelissaLion's phone number too..........
Anyone??? Anyone? Bueller? Anybody have any of that information for me?
Okay....just e-mail me or something.......I know you guys probably don't want your phone numbers and identities shown on my ever-so-popular blog..........sigh. It's tough being me.
Toodles for today!!