Thursday, January 22, 2009

Crissy STOLE my blog idea (part of it, at least)

I feel like such a FAILURE!! I had an awesome post---but the photo I wanted to get didn’t pan out, so I was going to PAINT A PICTURE WITH WORDS for you, and lo and behold………Crissy’s post is about a cat. Not my cat, which MY post was going to be about, but her cat. Her cute cat…..and Crissy brought her funny, so now I look like a copycat---with no funny (or very little…I manage a funny now and again).

So, we’ll start by going back to the hair (which will be a smooth segue into the cat story). Did you all notice in my blurry photos with Brandon that my breasts look GARGANTUAN?? OMG!! I’ve been staring at my own breasts with shock and awe. I don’t know if it’s the camera angle (and although the receptionist was a dear for taking the picture, she obviously doesn’t have the SKILLZ that Mr. Perfectly has…), or if it is really ME. Wow. Maybe it’s the bra? (Tawny—I took your advice and bought a bra from Lane Bryant---LOVE IT).

Anyway, I fought the cat getting into the bathroom this morning. He gets up with me and leads the way (tripping me) into the bathroom, where he insists on watching me. He waits for me to get out of the shower—then rubs against me—then acts all pissed off that he’s wet and has to groom himself. Oh, for the record, Dex and Copper come racing into the bathroom when they hear the water shut off so they can LICK the dripping water from my ankles and feet. Nothing like a dog tongue on your clean skin.

After my shower, I go to the computer and try to read my e-mail and blogs. This is why I am often late to work. When I came back into the bedroom after my computer jaunt---there was my cat all curled up. You know how cats like to curl themselves up into the smallest box in the world? And they manage to contort themselves to fit whatever container they are trying to stuff themselves into? Yea—he was all curled up IN ONE OF MY BRA CUPS. So my bra cups are large enough to accommodate a sleeping CAT. I’d laid my clothes out on the bed for convenient dressing, and my bra was cup side down, and bowl side up---for the CAT to make himself homey in.

I wanted a picture, but by the time Mr. P was done with his shower, and I was done with my makeup and could grab a camera, the cat had exited the bra. You could have also seen my unmade bed with mismatched linens—and my other dog, Buster, all snuggled in one of my 5 pillows. We’re generous like that—letting our animals sleep with us, and on our precious downy pillows (we’d better, or he’ll BITE).

I don’t think people at work like my hair. I’ve had a conversation about how I could best style if to obtain the ‘look’ I wanted—and then another co-worker kept darting her eyes to my HEAD during our conversation. You know, like when boys used to try to catch a glimpse of your BOOBS….and their darting eyes always gave them away? Yeah, it was like that only with my hair. I’m discouraged and the worry that Perfectly doesn’t fit in is OVERWHELMING today.

Arrgh. Don’t like these kind of days.

Toodles for now, all.

9 comments:

MsDarkstar said...

You realize, of course, that you have now pretty much directed the internetz to go look at your boobs, right? Cuz, I'll admit it, I read the post and then scrolled down to the pics to check out the boobs.

So, then, my question is this...is YOUR cat as big as Crissy's? Because to complete my mental picture of "cat sleeps in brassiere" I need to know cat size.

(You're going to ban me from you blog, aren't you?)

MsDarkstar said...

Dear Ms. Perfectly,

The hairstyle that Brandon created is lovely, please do no let judgey co-workers ruin your post-Brandon glow with their beady, darting eyes.

Further, fear not, the Blogosphere has love for you. Your posts make me laugh, so don't worry that you don't bring the funny.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are loveable and capable and don't need to change to fit in, ok? I like you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! (Bonus points for Billy Joel lyrics in a blog comment?)

Hugs,
MsDarkstar

Perfectly Shelly said...

Hi Ms.D!!

Of course I knew people would peruse down to look at the boobs. My boobs and bra issues have been blog fodder for me for a LONG time, so I figured if people have seen them once, they can look again!!!


My cat is NOT Big Pussy size. He probably is normal to small normal.....maybe 10 lbs or so? I don't know for sure.

His name is Joe and he's pretty sweet, unless he's trying to trip me or getting mad because he got wet from my shower.

I LOVE Billy Joel!! Love Him!!

Awww, I love you just the way you are, too!!!!

I'd nevr ban you from my blog!! You are too fun!!

Perfectly Shelly said...

Hi Ms.D!!

Of course I knew people would peruse down to look at the boobs. My boobs and bra issues have been blog fodder for me for a LONG time, so I figured if people have seen them once, they can look again!!!


My cat is NOT Big Pussy size. He probably is normal to small normal.....maybe 10 lbs or so? I don't know for sure.

His name is Joe and he's pretty sweet, unless he's trying to trip me or getting mad because he got wet from my shower.

I LOVE Billy Joel!! Love Him!!

Awww, I love you just the way you are, too!!!!

I'd nevr ban you from my blog!! You are too fun!!

Daisee579 said...

I confess, I scrolled down to look at your boobies again too. I'm a bit jealous because I think it would be awesome to have big knockers. Not awesome to have the back and shoulder problems. But totally awesome to look great in shirts and have cleavage and stuff.

I told you yesterday that I heart your hair. The people at work can suck it. I have judgey people here too and it's hard for me when I feel like I did when I started a new school in the 7th grade and didn't really fit in because I didn't grow up here. Bleck. It's hard and it's easier said than done, but keep your chin up. Your internets still love you!

Kristen said...

Bwahahahahahaha!!!!

In your BRA???

Bwahahahahahaha!!!

I love that. That's WAY funnier than Benny's attempted murder.

I wrote that post yesterday, btw. Sorry.

I'm writing about Richard Simmons tomorrow just in case you were going to as well. I called it!

And now I will go back to check out your spectacular rack because that's just the kind of friend I am.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Crissy--nah, I'll save my Richard simmons for another day---like you said, you CALLED it!!

My son has a cap that says 'nice rack' on it. Sheesh. Teenagers.

Whiskeymarie said...

My cat once fell asleep under one of my bra cups, so it was like a big ol' hat on the little girl.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a cat that watches them in the bathroom- I figure if it entertains them then so be it.

stoogepie said...

I would have responded to this post a lot sooner if I were not mesmerized by your boobs. That is all.

Except that your hair looks fab. With your boobs.

Boobs.