I’ve always known that I am not ‘up’ on formal etiquette. I know what a salad fork is, and although I slump over my food like I’m guarding it, I do know some basic table manners.
However, things like party protocol, and invitations, and RSVP-ing are all foreign to me. As a matter of fact, despite my Grandma Winnie's HUGE lectures and objections, I didn’t even send thank-you notes for my wedding gifts. Yes, today I cringe at that, but as a 21 year old girl with wedding loot, it didn’t seem so important. I MEANT to get it done, but time just slipped by.
So, this graduation gig is purposefully informal. A barbecue with burgers, weenies and probably some smoked chicken for sandwiches. I’ll put out a few condiments, some chips and call it good.
I got Son #1’s announcements and pre-stuffed what I could so when his pictures were done and my barbecue invite stuffers were cut and ready to go, I could just slip them in and seal those babies up.
Today, I hand delivered the first two announcements. My niece, Heather, opened hers and proceeded to immediately take the son’s name card and….get this…..STICK IT IN THE PRE CUT CORNER HOLES specifically for the name cards.
Well, hit me upside the head, people!! I had no idea!! I just shoved the name cards down into the announcement like the pictures, and invitation stuffer. I didn’t even KNOW that there was a PLACE for each name card.
I am so embarrassed. What if the rich aunt or friend is so OFFENDED that I missed a crucial step to the Graduation Announcement process that they don’t send MONEY??
My kid could be missing on fives or even TENS of dollars over my faux pas!! I suppose now I’m going to have to make baked beans from SCRATCH instead of opening a few cans and slapping some bacon on top, huh?
So, for all you high falutin’ folks in big cities and who are all important and uppity, maybe you don’t want to be my friend. I slug down wine, I hunch over the table, I laugh out loud and sometimes my silverware even clatters to the table. I don’t slip the name cards into the pre-cut slots designed for them……
Auntie, or distant family friend……please don’t take it personally that I neglected such an integral step of the announcement process. SEND MONEY ANYWAY. Tuition will be due soon, and well…..you know.
And don’t be alarmed. Son #1 WILL send thank you notes, even if I have to forge his signature. I promise.