Wednesday, February 18, 2009

True Blue

Wow, Internet, I am really blue today. I feel like such a whiner. Really, I do. I lecture my kids and my niece ALL THE TIME that life is what you make of it. Nobody can ‘make’ us feel a certain way. It’s how we CHOOSE to react. YADA YADA YADA.

Today, I came into work sort of expecting the entire section to know of Mr. P’s ‘issue’. My supervisor seems to get upset when we miss work due to an illness of an adult or teenage family member. I’ve heard that she feels like once they are old enough to take care of themselves, that maybe mom or wife shouldn’t need to be off with them during an illness. I did take off yesterday because I was concerned a great deal about Mr. Perfectly. Especially his bouts of nausea, sweating and feeling faint. I didn’t want him to pass out and hit his head or something in the bathroom and have nobody around to help.

Sometimes illnesses and comments get ‘leaked’ and I was sort of worried about the repercussions of being out for my normally healthy adult husband. The snide comments from co-workers, etc.

Well, there’s been NOTHING. Ah, you say….why be blue, then? Well, as a matter of fact not a single soul but one has even spoken to me today. YEP…not a one. And the one who did, was possibly probing for info. Maybe she was just curious, but it is doubtful.

I came in sort of expecting (see, that’s what one gets when one has EXPECTATIONS) a birthday card from the section. There’s one gal in particular that goes around and gets everyone to sign a card for people’s birthday. Nope. Not for me. At least not that I’m aware of. Since I took my birthday off, and she’s not here today, MAYBE she’s just holding it.

My BFF hasn’t spoken to me. So, when I went to ask what was wrong around here, she answered me “what makes you think something is wrong” and I snapped at her. GREAT. Nothing like alienating your friends, huh?

She’s not been back to speak to me, now it’s all awkward, and I worry. She’s feisty and doesn’t take crap from ANYONE….even her closest friends. I didn’t have any right or reason to snap at her, but I did. Now what do I do? Yes, I am 12 today. Help me!!

The person I work most closely with is very quiet today as well. It’s all very mysterious and strange. I feel left out and like there’s something hanging over me or something.

I hate this part of my personality. The nervous, NEEDY part. The one that wants people to acknowledge her. To like her. UGH.

Oh, I took the chicken way out and e-mailed Jakki. Haven’t heard back, so I may have really screwed up.

Well, I’m off to wander in the quiet world of my life, and wonder what the heck is going on, and HOPING beyond hope I haven’t ticked Jakki off too much.


Kristen said...

I get you.

I have that same part of me and I have days when NOBODY loves me and everyone wants me to disappear.

But it's not true and I have to keep reminding myself of that or else I'll drive myself and everyone around me crazy and then it WILL BE true.

For what it's worth, I'm still talking to you...

Perfectly Shelly said...

Crissy--THANK YOU. Your understanding makes me want to CRY (happy cry--because someone GETS IT).

Jak is speaking to me (whew), but it is still weird around here. She's not giving up any info either which makes me even more suspicious. (can you see my narrowed eyes furtively darting around? huh? can you????)

Dingo said...

You are going to feel pretty silly if they are throwing you a surprise party. Then again, now that I have your hopes up, you're going to feel pretty crappy if they don't.

And hey, I missed you when you were gone, didn't I? I get you!

stoogepie said...

Wow! It sounds like maybe you will never have friends again. Ever. Why does everyone hate you so much?

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you, girl? You posted this at 10:30 in the morning! Most people aren't awake enough to ignore anyone at work until at least 11am. I'm positive that everything is fine. In fact, I bet everyone is simply trying not to let on that they have a secret crush on you like I do.


Oh well.

Anyways, don't worry. Everybody loves you. Because you're the best. Really.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Dingo....did I win? huh? Huh? aren't my dumb blonde 21 yr old stories a HOOT?

Awww, Stoogie. You always know how to say JUST the right thing.