Tuesday, February 17, 2009

This is me, getting off my LAZY ASS, Dingo.


I suppose y'all want the Birthday scoop, huh? Well, it was fun. Then Mr. P got sick, we went to the emergency room and it sucked.

Well, not all in the same day or anything, but the same long weekend.

So, the Birthday. Teenie took me to the Lake of the Ozarks for a FABULOUS breakfast, cool presents and an 11 am wine tasting. I was concerned about starting to drink wine at 11 am, but was assured by the wine tasting hostess, Kathy, that it was WELL within the range of normal. Apparently when SHE goes on wine tours with her husband they start tasting at 8:30 am. Wow. I am a wine prude apparently.

We went shopping, had our nails done and that sort of fun, bonding girlie stuff. Teenie is the best, and as always it was full of FUN, FRIVOLITY and LAUGHS!!!

Then on Saturday (which happened to be St. Valentine's Day--Happy Birthday, Stoogie, Baby!!), my WHOLE local family (which is small) went to Dominico's for dinner.

Then Sunday, Mr. Perfectly began complaining about feeling a little 'off'. He has diverticulitis and ulcerative colitis. Yeah. Fun, huh? I can't imagine the stuff he endures. But anyway, he's been pretty healthy for some time. Nearly 3 years since his last MAJOR (7 days in the hospital) episode. By Sunday afternoon, he seemed to be in a full blown episode, or attack or WHATEVER they are called. He tried all sorts of things at home (stuff to make him 'go', is all I'll say), and to no avail. We ended up at the emergency room around 8 pm. Luckily in our little town, often we don't have to wait long at the ER----unlike you big cities......we actually got in IMMEDIATELY, and within 15 minutes, he had an IV started and loads of blood work taken. Within 30 minutes, he had X-Rays. We were pretty impressed with the speed and seeming care that the Doctor and Nurse (both male) took with Mr. P. They listened carefully to our comments, observations and explanations of what we knew about his condition (his diagnosis also came at the same hospital stay 3 years ago, so this is not something we've known details about for very long).

We were pretty disappointed when, as is the norm in our small town----(well, at least they did the same thing 3 years ago), he was told he was constipated (UM, DUHHHHHH....DIDN'T WE TELL THEM THAT??) and was sent home with stuff to drink (like before a colonoscopy) to 'clean' him out. His blood work was all fine and no infection seemed present.

Long story short in all of this is that he continued to suffer throughout the night, and alot of the day on Monday. He was 'going', but was still in alot of pain. He called the University of Missouri this morning. They are who diagnosed him after our hospital sent him home 'constipated' 3 yrs. ago. Unfortunately, they never called him back.

He is feeling alot better. He's not laying on the bathroom floor hoping to poop, sweating, shaking, cramping and feeling like he's going to puke anymore. That's progress.

I suspect that the Emergency Room was relatively correct in that he may not have the infection signs of Diverticulitis yet....or Ulcerative Colitis......., but nobody knows his body better than Mr. Perfectly, and he knows when something isn't right. And although we both feel like this is maybe a more mild case than he's previously had, that he definitely is more than just 'constipated'. Although, I've never had those issues, and cannot be sure, I don't think that people LAY ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR sweating because they are constipated. Or sit in the ER triage area doubled over with pain.......you know?

I am a complete idiot when stuff like this happens. I don't like to be out of control and I don't cope very well with the stress. I probably come across as a cold BIOTCH. I'm kind of a 'guy' in the respect that I feel the need to FIX the problem, rather than be nurturing and empathetic.

Then, to top it all off, I had a complete meltdown (CAN YOU SPELL M.E.L.T.D.O.W.N.????) right before taking Mr. P to the ER. My children were being absolute boors. Neither of them felt it necessary to have a caring bone in their bodies and try to work with me. Both of them were surly and snappy for me DARING to ask them to change their plans since....um...well...we were on our way to the HOSPITAL......it was awful.

I called my dad crying. You know the kind....the deeply sobbing crying where NOBODY can understand you? My dad isn't a warm fuzzy either, and basically told me very FIRMLY to get ahold of myself, and somehow reached son #2 and chewed him out. I immediately got a call back from son #2 apologizing. Son #1 also apologized for being so ugly when I asked him to go get his brother--so in the end it was a little better, but let me tell you people.....Teenage boys can be JUST AS DIFFICULT as the girls. Dont' let anyone fool you.

Then I got lectured by my dad to get ahold of my youngest NOW so he didn't turn out like my OLDEST. Well, my oldest is difficult at times, but not a bad kid. He's just very, VERY pulled away from us and selfish. So, good times were HAD BY ALL Sunday night.

The hospital gave Mr. P Magnesium Citrate to drink, which apparently was HORRIFYING, to make him 'go'. So, he's spent the last 48 hours having diarrhea, and hoping this is truly just a bowel emptying issue rather than colitis. Or diverticulitis. AAAARRRGGHHH.

Oh, then tonight he went to the laundry room and discovered that there is a leak or pipe backing up somewhere.

Happy end of the Birthday Week to us.

I am, however, getting a PACKAGE in the mail. I can't wait!!!! Ms. Darkstar was totally awesome and wanted to send me a package. It's on it's way. She apparently doesnt' have the mail allergy that I have. Right, Stoogie?

Anywho, that's enough of the TMI for today.

Toodles for now folks. Keep smiling!!

Oh, wait. In case you didn't figure it out, my title was SARCASTIC, not annoyed. Just in case there were any questions. I'm too tired to have people thinking I'm outwardly being like passive aggressive or something. I ADORE Dingo!!!


Dingo said...

The stories you tell to explain why you haven't posted. Geez, woman! All you had to say was, "I was BUSY!" But thanks for the poop update. Or non-poop update as the case may be.

I hope Mr. Perfectly is feeling better.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Oh, Dingo. Without the stories, what FUN would it be? "I was BUSY" just doesn't have the same ring to it, you know?

Mr. Perfectly. said...

So kind of a crappy ending to what started out as a nice weekend.

stoogepie said...

I'm not sure I see where this was a bad way to spend a long weekend. It's got poop and pain and teenagers and bowels in it. What could be more perfect?