Friday, January 8, 2010

It’s been a Xanax week, y’all

Hey. I really, really work on being upbeat…..and non-judgmental…….and all the other pc stuff that I totally agree with. Unless I’m blue and anxious….then all the UGLY comes to the surface.

Like earlier this week. I was minding my own business when met in the elevator corridor area by a woman who works in another department. She seems quite nice. But her personal style is, well…..let’s say eclectic.

It was bitterly cold and snow was predicted. She had on a tank top. Not a young, perky-breast tank top, but an embroidered at the scooped neck grandma tank top…that’s loose. It was burgundy. She had on Burgundy knit pants, carefully tucked into her WINTER SNOW BOOTS. Oh, she also wears a Bluetooth headset in each ear, and sings in the bathroom stalls. Even if there is an audience.

Why? Why do seemingly nice people need to wear their quirks on the outside? It makes it so easy to be all judg-ey and stuff. People should keep their quirks carefully hidden, and once you’ve got a friend snagged, THEN reveal your passion for bathroom singing……..or for knowing that the reason rescued dogs eat their own poop is because they were probably puppy mill dogs, and that was the only way to keep his or her cage clean…………

Whip those nuggets of crazy out AFTER you’ve garnered someone’s trust!

And what about those people who talk on the PHONE in the bathroom. There is a gal that works here in the bldg. that has lengthy conversations whilst on the pot. We are all flushing and washing and chatting in the echo-ey bathroom, and she still talks away! WHY???

We’ve all got some of the crazy coursing through our veins---BUT HIDE IT….at least for a while. Until people are OBLIGATED to like you---crazy and all!!

Oh, and you want to hear of my OTHER holiday related faux pas? In addition to our Secret Santa, we also have a ‘larger’ group gift exchange and we gather for food and gift exchanges. WE draw names and the limit is $15. I drew the name of the person I was to buy for, and obsessively studied her ‘wish’ list, posted on the break room wall. I thought it was kind of weird that I kept going back to the list….I’m pretty quick, and pretty good at remembering stuff…..I THOUGHT.

So I bought the scented candle and scented lotion she wanted…..wrapped it all purty and brought it to the party. It was my turn to present my gift, and I gave it to the gal I’d chosen. Quickly my co-worker hissed at me “I drew her name…..”. With a moment of awkwardness, we told the gift recipient to HOLD UP…and we went and looked at our names we’d drawn. HAHAHA…the joke is on PERFECTLY this time. I drew another person’s name. yep……somehow I got it in my pea brain that I’d drawn one person’s name when I’d actually drawn another. The person I’d really drawn didn’t have lotion or candles on her wish list.

So, I went in and snagged the gift from the wrong person, gave it to the right person……..we didn’t even explain……and my gal got stuff she didn’t want. Sure hope she’s not allergic to Bath and Body works or something.

What stupid stuff did Y’ALL do over the holidays?

Tell me……let me feel not so stupid for my wrong email recipient and wrong gift recipient antics in December.

Toodles for now!!


MsDarkstar said...

Gosh Shelly, the weird oozes from my blog and I fly my freak flag all the time and yet you still like me...
I guess that I am the exception that proves the rule, then?

Dingo said...

Wait, you mean you get the double whammy gift exchange at work? That sucks. Next year, starting after Halloween, you should work on alienating everyone and that way you'll be cut out of the gift exchange. But make sure you kiss and make up before Valentine's Day -- you don't want to miss all the candy!