They are my up my down; my pride and joy.
Crissy commented on my blog recently and said 'you want to hang out?". I couldn't have been more thrilled. I seriously have become attached to my blog group of friends. As scary as the cyber world may be, I would have no qualms about putting on my pj's and hanging out with any or ALL of you for an evening....or longer. Snacks....wine.....fun and frivolity? Doesn't that sound fun?
I have found over the years that I tend to become far more emotionally attached to people then they do me....or at least that is my perception. It goes back to high school. It was very difficult for me to understand the ebb and tide of friendship. I understand better now, but still, I tend to cling more than my fair share.
I have learned that people tend to drift and come back together, and your true friends will always be your friends. Those that you had an intense, presumably inseparable relationship with, usually are not the strongest.......hence, why first loves generally don't last....
AnyBFF's, I want to talk about my friends. And how I'm attached to them. And how much I love them....seriously love them. I count on them, I tend to monopolize conversation, and make it all about me. But they still come back for more. I can't tell you how important that is.
First, there is Ph.D. We've been friends since we were 11. With the exception of a short stint in Junior High when she told me I needed to fix my hair better to be her friend, she's stuck by me without fail for 32 years. She's gonna hate that I mention that..........Although it was terrible at the time, it's one of those things that make me appreciate her.........it was her own brand of honesty......sucky as it was......but it really never changed our friendship. I've never had a bond with another person outside of family like I do her. She is like family to me. Her parents are wonderful to me, and my kids.....I see her dad monthly out and about and he ALWAYS stops to talk.......her brother works in the same building I do, and her sisters are kind of like my own.
I could spend an entire blog just about her....us.....and our lives. Aside from my own family, I've know her longer than anyone. Better than anyone, and she knows me better than anyone....she was with me when son #2 was born. Not because I didn't have support...I did....Mr. P....my parents....my in-laws....but because she wanted to be there. She just wanted to experience the birth......and just BE there.......now really, how cool is that? She and I laugh harder than just about anyone when we find things really funny.....and I love her like a sister.
Then my BFF that you know best, Internets......Teenie. She's my near constant companion on our down time.......our oldest sons were in the same class. Son #1 got a birthday invitation at the ROLLER RINK for her son's 7th birthday. I dropped Son #1 off and this adorable girl said "Hey...I think we're neighbors..." we chatted for a brief moment, then I ran away. Freedom from one of the kids for a couple of hours......I felt kind of bad, but she SAID she didn't need any help at the party......so I took her up on the free moments!!
Shortly thereafter, she and her husband divorced. He remained in the house up the street from us, and I actually became relatively close to him. Then later on in the year, our kids would play YMCA basketball together......I chased after Teenie like nobody's business. She was so CUTE...and FUN.....she was a party in a person!! I wanted to be friends with her. I'd try to save her seats at the games.....I'd try to wave her over to me in the stands...I'd follow her around talking about the boys......and the moment that sealed my love for her? The time she actually took me up on my crazed waving, and sat by me at a game. Her son made a basket....and in the quiet clapping of the gym she stood up and screamed as loud as she could "THAT'S MY SON!!!!". I've never admired anyone more.
Teenie, as I've learned, isn't like me. She's a party in a person, alright, but she's very reserved on a personal level. Her hesitance to hang with me wasn't because she found me strangely nuts....saving her a seat like in grade school....trying to talk when she was intently watching her kid play ball......she just needed to learn IN HER TIME that she could trust me.
We maintained a casual friendship, but when the trust kicked it........it kicked in in full force. We are each other's backups for emergency calls from school and events. She hangs out with my family......and although our boys grew up to be different kids, and have different friends, they, too still seek each other out on occasion for a conversation. We are close enough that my relationship still remains pretty friendly with her ex, too.........I mean he was the one I sort of bonded with first............and despite his flaws, and my undying support of HER.....she doesn't have any issue with me being friends with him.....
As far as my go to girl, that's her. She's the one I want to hang out with, to call when I'm in a pickle, to laugh with, to cry with. I may not have known her as long as Ph.D., but I love her as dearly.
Annndddd....Jakki. I chased her too. Why in the world I am attracted to the most reserved people on earth, I don't know. EVERYONE loves Jakki. EVERYONE thinks Jakki is their closest friend. I've got news for them. She's not. She's slow to trust.....but once trust is established, you've got it unconditionally. She's full of laughter, insight and spirituality. She's funny and smart as hell. She totally 'gets' me. And I get her. We can finish each other's thoughts. We know what kind of a day the other is having. I tend to be aggressive....to try to pry infomation out of her if she's down, or blue. I've learned, though, where to draw the line....and let her have her space. Most of the time ;).
Jakki is my rock....my advisor, and best of all...my friend. A title she doesn't hand out readily........a title that I accept with deep pride and love.
And the New Kid on the Block..........the one I've only said is my re-discovered friend from High school.....BILLYE!
I guess she's not really the new kid, is she? I've known her since Junior High. In high school we lived near each other and became good friends. Billye is strong, resolved, fun as hell, gorgeous, and straightforward. Again, Billye isn't one to just hand out trust to everyone. She's friendly to everyone she meets, but, once again, you have to earn her trust.........earn the ability to know her on the INSIDE.....Billye was probably my first experience in the ebb and tide of friendship....we'd have this INTENSE fun, and friendship for a while, then it would sort of go away...not away, but Billye's strength is doing what she wants to do......and just because you are running after her wanting to do the same thing you did last week, didn't mean that she wanted that. She was always one that wanted space, too (again....clingy me, wanting friends that are so not clingy...hahah). But, our friendship has stood the test of time. Long periods of time have passed between seeing one another, but the familiarity is always there. Like time has stopped or something......her memory is great...she remembers things I certainly don't. I am eternally grateful for our newest ebb of friendship.
And then there's my 4 bestest blog buddies.....so far, that is. Crissy, Ms. Darkstar, Daisee (who doesn't have a blog, but is a great commenter!!), and Stoogie.
Again, I find myself becoming all squishy inside when I get comments or e-mails, or packages from you. I think of you as my friends....not just someone I communicate with. Oh, and WhiskeyMarie! And MelissaLion!! I would so love to hang out with ANY of you.
So, when I offer my shoulder, or wish we could meet, I really mean it. Obviously, I'm trustworthy or the crew above would have never let me 'in'........sheesh......I will say it again...I'm amazed at my friends. Reserved wise, we are all polar opposites.........
My friends.......I am who I am partially because of you......Thank you.