Tuesday, November 3, 2009

If You're a Lesbian and you know it CLAP YOUR HANDS!!

Have you all ever wondered why I never go out for my stupendous adventures with Mr. Perfectly? Have you thought judgementally to yourself "maybe she's a Lesbian?"? Then felt ashamed, because, really, it shouldn't MATTER?

Well, I am about to tell all.

Teenie, Jakki, Ph.D., and my recently rediscovered High School Friend and I are.......wait.......can you STAND IT........

Good Friends. In some cases, BFF's!!!! I think it's okay to have more than one BFF.....I suppose technically, the definition of BEST is just that....best....but you can have more than one 'best' something, can't you? You best going out outfit? Your Best work outfit? See where I'm going?

Anyway, Mr. Perfectly is nearly the most UN-social person I know. He's happy behind the camera lens.......not interacting with people........or holed up at home. He even comes in the house during yard work to avoid alot of neighborhood interaction.

He's the NICEST guy you'll ever meet, but unless you happen to be in my personal inner circle.....it'll take you a while to know it....because you'll probably never see him. And if you do, he'll be all formal, and uncomfortable.....for the first million times he meets you, THEN he may be able to relax a bit and have some fun.

So, he seems content to let me run around acting like a late blossoming teenager with my friends. That also gives him the opportunity to take control of the remote, which I am not willing to give up when I'm in the house. He can watch all his car shows, his action movies, and sometimes stupid BROMANCE comedies with Son #2.

He likes to take me to El Jimador....he loves Mexican food and beer...and we have a great time. He enjoys dinners out with Perfectly's dad and the Fam; both mine and his. Both families tend to hang out together, which is really fun, too. In laws who like YOUR family too? Wow.......but really...that's about it. You could see the look of panic on his face when that one time we got invited to a New Year's Eve party....with people we've casually known for YEARS.

So, no Lesbian action here.......sorry for those of you that were hoping, or speculating.

I do have friends that seem to exclaim at every opportunity that we aren't lestbian when we are running around town........I think it's funny. If people are so shallow to assume that, then it's THEIR problem, not mine.........I really don't care if someone thinks that of me. I sort of take it as a compliment...because the Lesbians and Gays are AWESOME. What cool groups of people to be with. They are less judgemental, and tons of fun.

Unlike uptight so called 'straight' people who find it necessary to judge everyone and everything around them........making themselves feel better by an inflated sense of superiority.

I do worry, however, about offending my few gay and lesbian friends. I live in small town USA, remember, so if I have a large group of said friends, I certainly don't know it...but the few that I do have, I don't want to offend....but I really do love them. Not because they are GAY, but because they are real. And fun....and don't care if I'm fat......so if you read this and don't like me calling you guys Gays and Lesbians for the sake of convo....then I'm sorry....but really.......how else can I express my admiration?

Toodles for now!!


MsDarkstar said...

Hmmmm, there are people who think that ladies who hang out with other ladies are lesbians? Even if the ladies in question aren't, ummm, sucking face or something? Who Knew?

Back in High School (boarding school, lived in a dorm) we had two single female houseparent/teachers who were near the same age and liked to hang out together. They never did anything in front of ME that would have indicated that they were lesbians but boy were the rumours rampant. And even back in high school I remember thinking "what business is it of mine if they ARE lesbians?"

Anyhow, having friends of the same gender doesn't make you gay/lesbian any more than being married and having an opposite sex friend automatically means you're an adulterer. Sheesh... people need to get a grip!

stoogepie said...

You know, it's a man's prerogative to be the strong, silent type. But I can tell you that Mister P and I would be BFFs within ten minutes, especially if we had some lesbians with us for kindling.

I think you are confusing being a lesbian with being mostly heterosexual but having mind-blowing lesbian experiences. And if you and MsDarkstar don't mind, some of us would very much like to continue to believe that, whenever we see two or more women together, those women have mind-blowing lesbian experiences together immediately after spontaneous pillow fights, oftentimes in the presence of men, sex toys, and video cameras.

That semicolon in the eighth paragraph: very sexy.

Daisee579 said...

I was out shopping at a KMart or WalMart with my sister once. She and I are about 10 years apart in age (I"m older) and we have moments of being silly together. We were in such a state and probably draped our arms over each other's shoulders or something like that. The lady in front of us and the cashier kept giving us looks, but we didn't think anything of it. When our turn came, the cashier finally asked us if we were together (as in lezzies). We giggled and said no, we were sisters. She goes, oh are y'all twins? We said no (we don't look that much alike anyway and then there is the age difference!). She said oh okay. So apparently she thought we were twins who hooked up. Yeah, that's exactly what we are.

And Stoogie, all girls have those mind-blowing experiences. It's a required course in college.

MsDarkstar said...

See, once again, not getting a degree has robbed me of valuable life experience.

Now, I am NOT by habit a lesbian... however, I've been known to occasionally kiss girls in a non-sisterly fashion after a few Long Island Iced Teas. Which I am only telling you so that Stoogie and the guys can keep the dream alive.

I promise that when you take me out for awesome volcano drinks, Shelly, I won't get frisky and liplock you!