Thursday, May 28, 2009

So much to say, but really, nothing to say…..

You know how it goes? You have hundreds of thoughts racing through your mind? You want to blog about EVERY ONE OF THEM?

Then you get to a place where you can blog. Home or a break at work, and things like LIFE and BOREDOM get in the way? You know that your FIVES of fans are waiting to hear about failed cupcakes, and graduation parties……but MEH……the desire wanes faster than it arrived.

So, I decided, frivolously, to just write. I may not get to all the stuff rattling around in my brain, but really….do I ever? I can spend pages talking about the most insignificant thing.

Did anyone watch “Obsessed” last night on A&E? OMG…that will be me someday. One of the participants in the show said that OCD can start with general anxiety throughout life, then when a traumatic even hits BOOM….the OCD can take over.

I’m scared Internets……I tend to be anxious about weird stuff…..OVERLY ANXIOUS about weird stuff. I’ve had a few traumatic things happen to me in my life, and so far, the OCD hasn’t taken over, but what if it does? What if? HUH? HUH? HUH? These people are seemingly lovely, normal people that has something trigger them into the OCD.

I often joke when my “OCD” is bothering me….and it’s no joke. I often wonder what people would think of me if they KNEW the stuff that raced through my brain. It sometimes doesn’t seem RIGHT. Unfounded fears, worries and all the what if’s of the world weigh heavily on me sometimes. Now I realize it’s not fair to call it OCD, because I don’t think it is, and in fairness to people who are suffering from it, it’s not right to even pretend to joke about knowing what it’s like.

Well, I'm back. I took the night off (AGAIN), so, where did I leave off... .... Oh, OCD. Let's move on, shall we?

There were no fireworks or family conflicts at the graduation. It was actually quite lovely. I was so absolutely THRILLED to see my mom, grandma and grandpa. My Uncle took a kitten from the farm. He's a little yellow dude with blue eyes (the cat, not my Uncle), so one of the farm cats was given a good home. Not that the farm isn't a cool place to live, but you know, you've got all the other cats hogging the space and food, and of course the racoons and dogs that come hunting for tender kittens. Oh, and don't forget the Tom's that think they own the a house with people would be preferable if it were ME.......but maybe the Kitten thinks differently.

Oh...I cut my finger last night while cooking dinner. I'd like to think I'm a decent, reasonably experienced home cook...and this is the 2nd time in about 15 years that I've lopped off the tip of my thumb......well not the TIP, but the pad of the thumb is certainly factual. Maybe that means I'm NOT all knife skills aren't professional by ANY MEANS, but I do just fine (I thought).

Oh...I'd like to ask any of you cooks or chefs out there (WHISKEY??? CAN YOU HEAR ME??) why it is such a big deal to cut an onion? Halve it, leave the root intact, slice rows then planks then dice?

How freaking complicated is THAT? I have a much better method of dicing my onions. But since I don't know how to describe it, I'll have to video it one day. SO MUCH EASIER. Except when you lop off a pad of skin from your thumb.

It seems like yesterday there was so much more CRAP rolling around my brain. For the life of me, today I can't seem to think of it all.

Oh.....I know something NEW....I found out today that I get an award today at work. My 15 year plaque, or pin or whatever. If I'd have known I'd have tried to look decent. But instead, I"m in khaki colored cropped pants, a red polo-ish shirt and sandals.

Well, I'm off. Toodles for Now...Happy Wednesday!!


MsDarkstar said...

I have the OCD. A mild case of it, but I've got it. Want some fun? Give me some M&Ms to eat. I will lay them out in neat rows. No repeating colors in row.

I assume the OCD you are afeared of is the "can't touch it, it's unclean" variety or the like. There are levels of OCD... it's not all horrible. Don't worry too much about it.

Perfectly Shelly said...

Ms.D--Believe it or not, the cleanlieness is really not a huge factor for me. I am NOT a good housekeeper, and I kiss my dogs and all that. But this is all MY dirt---put me into a dirty bathroom, or someplace that I feel is disgusting, and I get weird.

My stuff comes from things like food. Nothing over 3 days max from the fridge.

I play the 'what if' game, or 'worst case scenario' game to pacify myself.

If I'm worried about money, I'll check my bank acct about a million times a dy--and figure and re-figure, and think and plot, and re-figure.

If I'm worried about my kids, I won't stop trying their cells. No matter what.

I obsess over the smoke alarms at the strangest times. Like at 2 am....when poor Mr. P gets sent out to test them all.

Same with noises. He gets sent on a wild goose chase,

I tend to count stairs as I ascend them...sometimes. I tend to count THINGS.....I want to know how much money I have, and how many quarters for parking I have, and how many documents I've worked on. The counting isn't repetitive, it's like a comforting thing to know how MANY of some things.

Oh, and the time. I like to know what time it is at all times, yet I do not wear a watch.

I'm bothered if my odometer says I drove 385 miles on one tank of gas and only 291 on the next. It should be THE SAME.

I like to figure with simple equations in my HEAD..despite the fact I barely passed math.

I don't like to be out of control. Or what I feel is out of when grandma and grandpa were here and we picked them up at their hotel and sat in the TINY TINY room where the continental breakfast was served, and it was full of very NOISY people and track team members from a state high school......

I wash my dishes in the same order ALWAYS, and it makes my brain hurt to see Mr. P wash them in a different order.

I could go on and on and on, but they aren't repetitive, they aren't keeping me from enjoying life...I don't worry about most things (except money and the kids) beyond the moment I'm in, but they are all things that keep my brain very busy.

The fact that I could actually RELATE to these poor individuals that had diagnosed, severe OCD boggled my mind. I feel like I"m one stair, one phone call, or one spoiled meat dish away from full blown issues.

Oh, and here's the worst part...when other people do the same or similar things, it makes me CRAZY....Despite the fact I totally 'get' it, and do it myself.

It's really a wonder that anyone at all can even stand to be around me.

Like my blog sized comment?

yeah...another 'quirk'. I can't shut up.

Daisee579 said...

I spoke to a doctor once who said a little bit of OCD is typical of a smart professional person. I also think that it's a bit of that Type A personality. So based on my extensive research in the area (not), I think you're just fine! I think we all have worry issues and weird "quirks." Or maybe we're all just f-ing crazy. Either way!! LOL

Whiskeymarie said...

When I cut onions, I skip the part that I think you call "slicing rows". I've never understood why people do that, as slicing the "planks" then dicing it works fine.

I wouldn't say this to my students, but really- any way that works for you (where you don't cut your fingers off) is the way you should do it.

I'm only slightly OCD, but I totally lean towards ADD. Some days I'm like a hummingbird on crack. Tons of fun.

Dingo said...

Hi Shelley.

Yeah for your award! Did it come with any perks? Extra vacation? More pay? Better coffee in the employee lounge?

stoogepie said...

So, you're crazy. What else is new? You've got that OCD where you worry about getting really bad OCD all the time.

I have no OCD. I don't know how many miles I get for every tank and it is crazy to me that you know at all. I have no idea what my checking account balance is. I am sometimes late paying bills because I just don't feel like it. I don't know how to use the dishwashing machine. I took the batteries out of my smoke alarm the day I moved in and have never put them back. I sometimes go to the airport and decide where I will go after I get there. I wear a watch. (I have been given watches as gifts a lot and finally discovered that, if you don't wear a watch, people will think it's the perfect gift. If you ask me, that's like seeing that someone doesn't wear prescription eyeglasses and giving them a pair. But anyways that's why I wear a watch.) But I am never on time anywhere.

Congratulations on the award!

Perfectly Shelly said...

Ah, Stoogie.......just because you are a celebrity and have 'people' to do the worrying for you......

hey, when are you taking me to San Juan?

stoogepie said...

Just tell me when you are ready to join me in San Juan!

Perfectly Shelly said...

Hey, I'm READY!!

Although, things like money, work, family and LIFE sort of get in the way, you know?

Whiskeymarie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.