GPS, PMS and David Beckham

I am beginning to feel like I’m in some sort of other realm regarding David Beckham. I hardly know who the man is. I mean, I know he plays soccer, I don’t find him to be terribly handsome (unless we are discussing his taut tummy), I know he’s married to a fashion obsessed former spice girl, who from my vantage point seems quite superficial. Oh, yeah, and recently, I discovered that he has a lot of tattoos. One of which my son has permanently scratched on his back (at least a smaller version of…..). This is the EXTENT of any DB knowledge I have. My sitemeter is off the charts with what appears to my un-computer sophisticated eyes, David Beckham tattoo searches. Someone, PLEASE that has more of an understanding on how to track these things…take a look at my sitemeter-----are THAT many people finding my blog because they are otherwise looking for info on DB’s tattoos?

Then to top off my DB blog amazement, I went home early yesterday, and GUESS WHO was on a re-run of Ellen? David Beckham himself. She was trying to get him to disrobe. Which, I can see why---his tummy is nice, but….you know? I just don’t GET IT. The obsession over this guy..oh well…my mom couldn’t understand my obsession with Leif Garrett when was 12 either.

So anyway, I apparently am in a Twilight Zone episode featuring David Beckham. I can’t seem to escape from him.

Oh, and on a completely UNRELATED note….I am envious of people who have an eclectic interest and taste in music. I’m not a music OR movie person at all. I keep the radio on in the car just for noise, but I have to TURN IT DOWN, when I need to make any maneuver that requires concentration. Like looking for an address, or backing up. Recently, I’ve been hearing this TERRIBLY catchy tune on our local pop station….something with Sweet Home Alabama all Summer Long….in the chorus. It talks about teenagers having summer fun…..drinking, smoking, having sex……It makes me all dreamy eyed and nostalgic with fun memories IT MAKES ME DANCE IN MY CAR….then it makes me PANIC as a mom. How confused must my poor brain be? Anyway, I asked son #1 about the song, and he looked at me like if it wasn’t rap full of angry language, then I must be CRAZY to think he’d know what fun summer song I was talking about. I asked Son #2 if he knew what it was and who sang it, and all I ever get from him is “Mom can I hang out with girlfriend from 8 in the morning to 11 at night every single day…..huh? Huh? Huh? Why? I don’t understand!!! We just want to hang out….what’s the big deal???” So after hearing the catchy, nostalgic tune AGAIN this morning, I visited my frienemy, Google. Google is a great resource, but a real downer when looking for Medical issues, or what happens to teenagers………. Come to find out the song is called “All Summer Long” (go figure), by (drumroll, please)………Kid Rock.

I’m a 43 year old mother. I’m overweight. I dream of driving a fancy SUV, gas prices be DAMNED. I can’t like Kid Rock. He’s kind of….well…..icky looking. I wouldn’t want my daughter to date him (if I had a daughter)….so why? WHY am I suckered into liking things I don’t like……..like the one time I heard a catchy tune on the local pop station….a computer enhanced voice telling me that he’s going to bring ‘SEXY BACK”………….and it was the Mousekateer himself , Justin Timberlake. I DON’T LIKE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE………therefore I can’t like the song.

There is the slight possibility that I may be suffering a TINY BIT from PMS. I find myself being annoyed at every little thing. Like the fact that Kid Rock sings my favorite song of the moment. Or that David Beckham wont’ LEAVE ME ALONE. Or that my teenage son #1 may turn into a sideways ball cap wearing, tattooed, DEADBEAT (omg, like Kid Rock…….).

Mr. Perfectly signed us up for a free trial of the GPS locater service through our cell phone carrier, Sprint. Son #1 IMMEDIATELY turned off the gps feature on his phone telling us that we are just trying to CATCH him doing something wrong and it was ‘gay’ and ‘retarded’ to subscribe (by the way, the ‘gay’ and ‘retarded’ references are words he uses when he wants to get a REALLY big rise out of me……..F%$#!(* Gay is even worse……). Our feeling is that if he’s to be trusted and NOT doing anything wrong he shouldn’t have an issue with the gps……….**Sigh**. Parenting teens is HARD WORK people. It’s exhausting.

Oh, and I’m back into watching “30 Days” on FX or whatever station has it. I am so drawn into people who have differing opinions of situations, living together for 30 days. It usually ends up with lots of introspective realization on one or both parties, and it’s generally a happy thing. Well, last night it was a Mormon stay at home mom, opposed to gay/lesbian couples adopting kids. She went to live with a gay couple who’d adopted four children. She never ONCE even considered the possibility that a good home is a good home regardless of who the parents are. She maintained that gay and lesbian parents would teach the adopted children that homosexual relationships were ok, and continue to ‘propagate’ the problem, and MAYBE make the kids themselves ‘turn’ gay. I was shocked, and really disgusted. I sort of have a hang-up on organized religion…….telling society what is ok and what is not ok…….but that’s a different post, my opinions obviously didn’t gel with this woman, so I suppose I could be accused of being as closed minded as her. Except I know I’m not. I don’t try to enact LEGISLATION not allowing Mormon families to adopt kids…..because I may not agree with some of their teachings…….because it may cause a kid to ‘grow up and be Mormon’…….I admire deeply faithful families……good loving families. I just don’t want to be PREACHED to and told why God will strike people DOWN for their wrong beliefs…….anyway, she’d rather see kids live in FOSTER care than be adopted by a loving parent or set of parents. It’s really sort of sad.

Anyway, did I mention I may be suffering from some Minor PMS? I’m not sure that I did mention that fun little fact. So just in case here’s the mention. Of. PMS. Possibly. Invading. My. Brain.

Let’s see what the site meter turns up TODAY…..Kid rock and PMS…..??? Mormons and David Beckham?

Jakki just popped in to inform me that one of our co-workers TOOK HER DENTAL PLATE out and rinsed it in the sink of our shared break area. Ewww. Can we have a COLLECTIVE ewwww? Please? For me and Jak?

Thanks.