Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Family That Medicates Together Stays Together

Soooooo......secrets revealed!! BWHAHAHAHAHAH...Actually many of you KNOW already, but since I've invited all my Facebook friends to read this, this may be news!!

I began taking prozac about 3 yrs ago for some major PMS stuff I had goin' on. Hmmmmm. I realized quickly that the Prozac helped out in alot of areas in my life. HMMMMMMM....again!! Jump forward to November and some things happened (that I won't discuss.....yet) and it was suggested I begin some therapy to try to figure myself out. Why I'm impulsive....why I have a "I want it when I want it" attitude, and maybe some low self esteem mixed in? Maybe some issues in living in D.E.N.I.A.L.? Hey, as I've discovered, Denial is a TOTALLY COOL place to live! You don't have to face the UGLY in your life while living in Denial! I LOVE Denial! He and I are like THIS (see my crossed fingers??).

Well, recently, Denial and I have broken up. I still long for him, and still retreat to him when I'm all wigged out, but for the most part he and I are FINITO!! Done. Mr. Perfectly couldn't be happier. Denial was getting in the way of our lives! Mr. P. didn't like Denial nearly as much as I did, (and sometimes still do). Anyway, during this time, I had a mini-meltdown over nothing really........just my life, and the Doctor put me on some additional medication to help 'boost' the Prozac. HOLY STEMWARE, Batman!! Does it work!!! I practically JUMP out of bed, I DO STUFF other than watch TV....I started making jewelery! I cleaned my kitchen this week without complaining too much to the men in my life how much I HATED doing it and that they should help. I haven't put all of my piled laundry away, but BABY STEPS, steps. I'm workin' on it!

Oh, and the stemware I talked about in my last blog? And mentioned so fondly here? Stemware and vintage jewelry may have taken Denial's place in my life. Sadly. Denial doesn't cost money, however, jewelry and stemware does! Shit. Backslide again.

Anyway, I have this weird obsession for stemware (and other dishes). I never knew it until we moved. When I packed up cabinets in the old house, I found all this STEMWARE. I divided it and wrapped it in boxes labeled for the boys. I figured if they ever have a house or apartment, stemware would be appropriate once they reach 21.....and their wives or girlfriends will appreciate my efforts, RIGHT? So, I kept the stuff I wanted, and boxed up the stuff I didn't and made a little 'bar' area in my new kitchen. The top cabinets house my stemware and the bottom cabinets house the BOOZE. It's all very cute and tucked away. That is until my cookbooks, french onion soup crocks and the George Foreman sucked the Booze space.....sheesh. Selfish of them, don't you think?

So, two weeks ago, we went to an auction. You'll never believe what I did? Denial and I joined hands and he THREW UP my bidding card at some stemware. 54 pieces of stemware to be exact. Denial is such a Bitch. He bid and bid and bid. He got a set of 3 blue anchor/hocking mixing bowls (my kitchen is blue, BTW, so Denial has good taste). I got a set of 8 Blue stemmed water (or wine) tumblers, and a set of 46 matching glasses. There are 12 wine, 12 water, 12 dessert and 10 juice glasses that all match. That all have STEMS....that are all SOOOO cute. Oh, and Denial ALSO bought me a juice pitcher set with 4 juice glasses. Only he wants to use it for Mai Tai's. Damn Denial!! I think he's gay. He KNOWS how I love the gays and want an entourage of gay BFF's!!

So, I ended up packing up all the stemware that I originally kept and will divvy that up between kids and friends, and I washed and put up all the NEW stemware in the cabinet. I also made Mai Tai's in the pitcher. I made Mr. P use the little juice glasses to drink my Mai Tai's as well. He thinks Denial may be gay, too.

After we moved and after dad was sick and we were never home, our Kitty Joe decided that he wouldn't pee in his litter box anymore. He much preferred towels on the floor. Or blankets. Or dog beds. We took to locking him up in the room WITH his box every day, and he peed on the floor. Still does. Right in front of the door so inevitably someone STEPS in it as we come in or out.

Mr. P. is unofficially in charge of Kitty duty. He's fed up beyond belief that Kitty Joe is peeing in the house and not in the box. He Poopies in his box, so why not make the Pee Pee there, too?

We decided to have him checked for a urinary tract infection, and GUESS WHAT? It was negative. His failure to use the box is BEHAVIORAL, and not bacterial. Great. How does one teach an OLD cat to use his box again? The vet says it's not likely to happen. I really don't want to put him to sleep. It seems like such a LAME reason to lose a pet. A really COOL pet. I am a huge pet lover/advocate so you all must be asking WHY would we even ENTERTAIN the idea of putting him down? Because, we now live in this bigger, lovelier home. It's got CARPET in nearly half of it. We can't afford to mess up another house. We really put the screws to our old house and this one deserves some love....and no cat pee! Besides, my dad owns it, and dad and cat pee aren't' seeing eye to eye.

Therefore, we are trying an alternative to euthinazation. KITTY PROZAC! Studies have shown that 75% of cats that stop using the litter box go back to using it while taking the kitty Prozac. Now, Stacey, the Vet, says in her clinical experience, 75% is way too high, but she has seen about a 25% improvement in cats. Well, since we moved to a farm, and since we left him alone all those weeks when Dad was sick, maybe this will work! He already has a Gay BFF (Buster, the dog) so he doesn't need Denial! So, I'm hoping the Kitty Prozac will work. We are tiptoeing around the house today, because it's 4 pm and so far there's no sign of any cat pee around.

Wish us luck, Internet!! We need it and the Pharmaceutical companies are Banking on all of this working for Kitty Joe and Me.

Toodles for now!!

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