True Blue

Wow, Internet, I am really blue today. I feel like such a whiner. Really, I do. I lecture my kids and my niece ALL THE TIME that life is what you make of it. Nobody can ‘make’ us feel a certain way. It’s how we CHOOSE to react. YADA YADA YADA.

Today, I came into work sort of expecting the entire section to know of Mr. P’s ‘issue’. My supervisor seems to get upset when we miss work due to an illness of an adult or teenage family member. I’ve heard that she feels like once they are old enough to take care of themselves, that maybe mom or wife shouldn’t need to be off with them during an illness. I did take off yesterday because I was concerned a great deal about Mr. Perfectly. Especially his bouts of nausea, sweating and feeling faint. I didn’t want him to pass out and hit his head or something in the bathroom and have nobody around to help.

Sometimes illnesses and comments get ‘leaked’ and I was sort of worried about the repercussions of being out for my normally healthy adult husband. The snide comments from co-workers, etc.

Well, there’s been NOTHING. Ah, you say….why be blue, then? Well, as a matter of fact not a single soul but one has even spoken to me today. YEP…not a one. And the one who did, was possibly probing for info. Maybe she was just curious, but it is doubtful.

I came in sort of expecting (see, that’s what one gets when one has EXPECTATIONS) a birthday card from the section. There’s one gal in particular that goes around and gets everyone to sign a card for people’s birthday. Nope. Not for me. At least not that I’m aware of. Since I took my birthday off, and she’s not here today, MAYBE she’s just holding it.

My BFF hasn’t spoken to me. So, when I went to ask what was wrong around here, she answered me “what makes you think something is wrong” and I snapped at her. GREAT. Nothing like alienating your friends, huh?

She’s not been back to speak to me, now it’s all awkward, and I worry. She’s feisty and doesn’t take crap from ANYONE….even her closest friends. I didn’t have any right or reason to snap at her, but I did. Now what do I do? Yes, I am 12 today. Help me!!

The person I work most closely with is very quiet today as well. It’s all very mysterious and strange. I feel left out and like there’s something hanging over me or something.

I hate this part of my personality. The nervous, NEEDY part. The one that wants people to acknowledge her. To like her. UGH.

Oh, I took the chicken way out and e-mailed Jakki. Haven’t heard back, so I may have really screwed up.

Well, I’m off to wander in the quiet world of my life, and wonder what the heck is going on, and HOPING beyond hope I haven’t ticked Jakki off too much.