Tidbits

Well, this weekend was a testament to my TOTALLY exciting, OUT OF CONTROL life. We went out to dinner with Son #1 and Perfectly’s dad on Friday night. We had a lovely pasta dinner at a local restaurant that is actually pretty good. For our neck of the woods, that is.

Got up early on Saturday morning and glanced around at the filthy wreck our home has become and sat down to watch Food Network. Rachel Ray was making some sort of Chicken Wellington. Well, I ADORE puff pastry, and began to think about making BEEF wellington (you know, since Perfectly’s dad raises BEEF). Hmmmm

Son #2 needed to mow at Perfectly’s Dad’s house---hereafter knows as “The Farm”. I drove #2 to the farm, and he was all wigged out because the time it takes to mow the yard out there is over 2 hours, and he wanted to do something with his GIRLFRIEND, and this may INTERFERE. I wasn’t going to hang out there, in case Perfectly’s dad got some grand idea of putting ME to work doing something “outdoorsy”. I don’t cope well with sweat, grass, manure and the like. Especially the sweat. EWWW. And believe me, I produce the sweat. I’m a GIRL, and sweat like a giant man…….it’s totally gross.

Anyway, I asked Perfectly’s dad about the beef situation—he’s getting low. He’s taking 2 to be butchered (PETA/animal rights folks BACK OFF) tomorrow. He only had a couple of steaks, and wanted to save those for himself next week for dinner. Regarding his beef. It seems gross to kill a cow and eat it. I don’t deal well with the actuality of this situation, so I, as a carnivore, choose to not THINK about it. My dad’s cows are in a field, eating grass, they have a creek to drink from as well as a source of fresh water from a well…..they are not confined to a ‘lot’ and they are taken care of. In return, my family is eating leaner beef with NO HORMONES and NO ANTIBIOTICS. I would much rather eat beef in this manner than the stuff that comes from the store. Where cruelty and unsanitary conditions exist for mass production of beef. So anyone who is feeling feisty…don’t mess with me. I choose to eat meat, and this means of eating beef is SO MUCH HEALTHIER for us than commercial beef. ‘Nuff said…….

So, I asked Perfectly’s dad to use his internet (since Best Buy still has our computer) to peruse Food Network because I wanted to make Beef Wellington….he immediately said “you watched Rachel Ray this morning, didn’t you?”. I didn’t know whether or not to be more disturbed that he knew me so well, or that HE also watched Rachel Ray……

Speaking of Perfectly’s Dad……I get flak sometimes from people because Mr. Perfectly and I hang out with my dad so much. People think I’m weird. It really PISSES me off, because if it was my MOTHER that I shopped, ate and socialized with, NOBODY would think that is weird….My beautiful mother is in another state. I adore her, and she’s a BLAST to be with, but alas, she’s IN IOWA…..which doesn’t make regular ‘hanging out’ a feasible choice.

So anyway…..I got a lecture from dad that I spend entirely too much money on food and why can’t I be satisfied with just regular plain cooking. I have no answer to this, except plain ole meat and potatoes? Yuk.

I went and hit the internet (and ended up at his house until #2 was done mowing) and found some FABULOUS sounding recipes. It did not include beef wellington. I made THIS and THIS. Both were disappointing. The dumplings? They were good, but not FABULOUS. The chili/butter sauce? Now THAT was fabulous. So was the slaw. The edamame hummus? Meh…..not so great. I love edemame. This recipe sounded PERFECT for a dip whore like myself………and it was ok, but maybe a little bland. I chose to use roasted garlic since garlic in ALL forms stays with me for longer than it should, but RAW garlic is the worst…….maybe that made it milder. Next time, I may throw in a cucumber and more salt and garlic. I just don’t know.

Yesterday, I didn’t get dressed until after noon. I went back to the grocery and got stuff for grilling. Yippee….we had pork steaks, burgers (of the commercial beef……I wasn’t happy about that) and hot dogs (do not ask me why I oppose commercial beef, yet buy hot dogs. I just don’t have a good answer for that).

That, people, is the extent of my exciting life. I bought a new pair of brown capri’s and am wearing the shirt I wore with the Cute Cousins…….It’s a little out of the box for me (at work, that is), so I feel sort of weird, but happy nonetheless.

Discombobulated

Well, Crap. Jury duty is over. The parties settled the case. SETTLED. I’m so upset! I wanted to DELIBERATE, to try to be the FOREMAN (foreperson?). I WANTED MY WAY, DAMMIT!!!!!

I spent the last 3 days plus 2 hrs fretting, thinking and worrying about this case. And they settled it. I feel gypped.

I called my boss to let her know I was free at last, but I had jeans on, and did she want me to come to work after I changed, or just come on in as is. She said to come on to work, so, WOO HOO….I’m working in jeans today….nah nah nah nah NAH!!!!

I’m not back into the work frame of mind yet…..I’m sort of reeling from all the stuff we saw and how awful the case was and how all parties in it must have suffered. I was truly leaning for the defense, BUT, I certainly felt bad for ALL people involved. It was just a sucky thing all around.

I met my boss’s mom while on Jury Duty. She was a hoot. I LOVED her. I hope we can meet for lunch on occasion.

OHHHHHH….here’s the big personal news. Son #1 got his tattoo. I HATE it. It’s on his back, between his shoulder blades. I don’t know what it is…….it actually is THIS, without the wings, and names. And smaller---maybe 5 inches. We aren’t a religious family…..I’m not sure why he was so HELL BENT on getting this tattoo…..is it because David Beckham has it? He’s not a DB fan, and he says he just likes it. AAARRRGGHHHH. I’ll post pictures soon…whenever BEST BUY gets our computer back. He, of course, is THRILLED. He keeps thanking me for letting him get it….and asking if I like it. I’ve been honest and told him NO, I do NOT like it at all……but it was his choice, not mine. (weep). I think it’s a cross between Christ on the Cross and a Guardian Angel? Anybody familiar with this symbol that can tell me what it is?

I also bought this. Isn't is gorgeous? I've got a wedding set in yellow gold, and I wear alot of silver and white metals, so I bought this on special for $19.82 and will wear it when alot of my jewelry is the white metals. It's prettier in person than in the photo.

I better get moving. Lots of work to do!!

hello and goodby!

No..I'm not leaving the blog world. I'm serving on a jury!! A JURY........for a case that may last all week. That, coupled with the fact that Best Buy still has our computer, I'll be out of comission for a while.

I feel so grown up and stuff being on a JURY.

I'm on a foreign computer, so I am not commenting, so I don't have to fill out all the sign in crap AGAIN..

Thanks for the blogroll, Crissy! I'll get Mr. Perfectly on the job and get a blogroll on MINE!

Bye guys! I'll check in when I can.

Love,

The Juror

Much ado about NOTHING.

I don’t have an exciting life. No beach vacations or fabulous tales to report. No funny stories to re-tell, and for ONCE no beauty disasters.

Our computer is still being fixed by the Best Buy people…….that have to send it OFF to be fixed……that don’t have the parts at BEST BUY to fix it. It’s been a week, and we are all going NUTS.

OH….OH….OH…I’m serving on JURY DUTY. Isn’t THAT exciting? No, REALLY. I think it would be COOL to be on a jury. I haven’t been picked yet (the story of my life), but we’re supposed to have potential trials EVERY DAY next week, so maybe, just maybe.

I’m feeling kind of gross and intrigued by a new breakfast item our cafeteria has begun selling. Jakki told me about it but until today, I hadn’t seen it. Or sampled it. It’s breakfast PIZZA. It has eggs (not my fave), bacon, and maybe cheese, I couldn’t tell for sure, and get this…. GRAVY as the sauce…..white sausage gravy. Doesn’t it make you want to say EWWWWW and MMMMMM all in the same breath? The start of my breakfast pizza experience was lots of MMMMM, but sadly, ended in EWWWWW. I threw the last ¼ of it away. It wasn’t inedible, it was just……….eggy and gravy-ish…I don’t know, but definitely not finish-able………..I think it was the eggs for me….I don’t enjoy eggs much……..and the gravy gave sort of a pizza-esque-ness to it, but it also made the eggs kind of wet………or something. I don’t know. I’m drinking my large coffee now with complete satisfaction.

Teenie tells me that I’m just a wanna-be coffee drinker. I doctor my coffee with creamer and sugar…..I don’t like the uber strong brews of some coffee shops—I like them mild and sweet. I apparently am not woman enough to compete with Teenie’s river bottom sludge that she enjoys as coffee---the kind that makes your hair curl. I don’t do bitter, or strong. I like mild, sweet and milky. MMMMM.

To be perfectly honest, I am not much of a breakfast food enjoyer………I do cold cereal, but the hot, much craved BREAKFAST? I really don’t like it. Pancakes and waffles? Blech…too sweet. Donuts? Same thing…….ick. Eggs? Only on MY terms and the way I want them cooked…whites completely cooked with the yellow runny—and very INFREQUENTLY. Bacon? Meh—it’s ok.. Sausage? Not so much. Toast with butter is fine, but Jelly? No. Too sweet.

How do YOU feel about breakfast? Do you like it? I know, most people LOVE breakfast…and like the breakfast for dinner nights. We don’t have those very often---blech. I just can’t.

I wish I was funny today, but nothing has happened that IS funny…….just the same old stuff……Perfectly’s dad’s birthday is Sunday (happily coinciding with Father’s day). He’s an old fogey and isn’t interested in my plans to EXPLORE Missouri on Saturday in hopes of finding something totally fun and exciting to do. He just thinks that doing necessary FARM WORK is more important than entertaining ME on his birthday/Father’s day weekend. Harrumph. Can you believe the GALL of the man?

Give Perfectly’s Dad a shout out on Sunday----he says he doesn’t care about his birthday, but I know he does………so telepathically send well wishes to make his day! He doesn’t know about my blog, so I can’t tell him about your well wishes, so that is why we need to do it the telepathic way. I wouldn’t want to give up all my secrets to my DADDY.

Happy weekend. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to be funny again on my OWN computer and not keep looking over my shoulder hoping nobody is ON TO ME at work.

Oh, another thing…I’ve not seen any ARTWORK…..come on folks come thru for Perfectly…….I need those tattoo ideas!

Toodles!

Spelling, Tattoos and vacations...OH MY!!

Words I cannot spell (there are more, but I can't think of them)

Exercise
Privilege
Probably

Ok, I’m putting out the battle cry for tattoo ideas for my 17 yr old son that are not too ornate or creepy…a sleek, modern, male appropriate design is desired. Artwork that my son can claim as his tattoo, without us paying you for it :). (Dan, do you hear my cries? Can’t you help our your wife’s BEST FRIEND in her time of need? You KNOW I’m talking to you. Ph.D……get onto him……the son #1 thought a tattoo designed by your hubby was cool………) Ahem, all hinting aside, if anyone that is artsy and doesn’t mind their work being used as a teen tattoo, send me a note……..with your design…I need fabulous ideas. Oh, and smallish ideas….no more than 2x3 or maybe 3x3. He wants it on his hip/abdomen area….right of the belly button? Just in case someone has a great hip tattoo idea.

Ah, vacation. I need one. I want one. I can’t afford one. Where would YOU go if you could go on a vacation right now? I want to go to Puerto Rico or the US Virgin Islands or the FL Keys…….Just because we don’t have passports and we can get to the US territories without one (yes, I know the Keys aren’t a US territory, but part of FL). We’ll probably just go to the Lake of the Ozarks and buy fudge and crap on the strip……..again……..or to the Arch…….again. **sigh**

I’d like to go to Savannah GA on a ghost tour or something. St. Louis has the Lemp Mansion, that is supposed to be haunted……..but it’s a hotel, and although I’m interested, I’m NOT staying there all night. I want to continue NOT to believe in ghosts (unless Jay and Grant from Ghost Hunters is around).

Well, I’m off…..off to obsess about the tattoo issue…….I’m having a hard Mommy time with this folks. I watched ‘Intervention’ last night on A & E, and those drug addicted people had tattoos…..they were athletic and fell in with the wrong crowd………..they were “A’ Students until drugs RAVAGED their bodies. See??? Tattoos=biker boy!! (not really---for those of you clean cut types with tattoos, I am generalizing) Ph.D is trying to re-assure me that EVERYONE under the age of 25 has one. The tattoo shop was really nice last week, so I called to obsessively ask more questions today, and didn’t get such a warm fuzzy response………so I’m back to the fretting……..I actually called a 2nd shop, and they choose not to tattoo anyone under 18…..so the ‘rebel’ shop is it, I guess. I suppose the artists may laugh at the elastic jeaned, suburban mom taking pictures to scrapbook of her kid getting a tattoo………I can add it to the nudie tub photos and the Halloween costume, and Santa photos……..”awwww, here’s son #1 getting his TATTOO….isn’t that cute????”

Oh, lordy…I just need to quit THINKING about this.


Help me people!! Diversion!! Humor!! Distraction!! LIQUOR!! Send it ALL!!

Monday Musings

Don’t let ANYONE tell you that boys are easy. I have a 17 yr old that thinks he’s an adult, and is making reasonable, rational, adult choices. I have a 14 year old that is sweet and easy going until I say he can’t go to his girlfriend’s brother’s house to watch a movie with the girlfriend, the girlfriend’s brother, the girlfriend’s brother’s girlfriend, and the girlfriend’s brother’s girlfriend’s 2 yr old baby. (deep breath, didja get all that??)

He thinks just because he can’t go swimming with his buddies (ahem, the girlfriend will also be at the pool….peculiar, don’t you think???), that he should just be able to go with the girlfriend. He doesn’t understand ‘no’ where she’s concerned. He makes compromises, and deals not to be a brat during subsequent ‘no’ battles, but never follows through. Here are just 2 of the texts I’ve received—they are verbatim, so I take no responsibility for spelling, grammar, or content:

“I haven’t done anything in two days and im askin to do something on a rainy day…please?”

“Why do u even care! I am goin to be home alone all day…doing nothing…let me do something!”

He’s calling me every 5 minutes or so. I’m ignoring him. He doesn’t play nice.

Mr. Perfectly planted a flower garden yesterday. It’s so pretty. We have large flower boxes surrounding our house, but over the years, they’ve deteriorated and look TERRIBLE, and the Perfectly Budget doesn’t allow for major fix ups right now, so hopefully the pretty flowers will DETRACT some from the rotting wood and railroad ties that aspire to be flower boxes.

He also planted me some herbs and 2 sweet bell pepper plants in with my flowers. He planted jalapeno, habanero and another red chile at the OTHER end of the flower/herb/pepper garden for HIM. We’ve heard that if the plants cross pollinate, that my sweet bells could be SPICY…..

I got my eyelashes tinted and eyebrows waxed again this weekend. My girl, Kayla, wasn’t available, so they put me with Liz. While the tint was processing, instead of leaving me, Liz gave me a SCALP MASSAGE. Now, I’m freaky about massages. I get very tense and uncomfortable when getting them, but this….??? This was different. I found my hands tensing somewhat, but the sensation of the massage was too awesome to fret about. I had such a HORRIBLE headache on Friday, and it lingered on Saturday, and the massage on the scalp was like balm to a wound…….I want to go back just for the massage! She didn’t do as well as Kayla does on the lashes…but they are ok…..I’ll take it if I get the scalp massage each time!

Oh wait, here’s another text from the angst ridden 14 yr. old:

“CALL ME BACK WHEN UR WORK ISNT MORE IMPORTANT THAN UR DISSAPPOINMENT SON!”

*SIGH** argumentative with poor grammar! What else could a mother ask for?

I’m sitting here eating Funyuns (I’ve been on a kick recently) and drinking V8 juice. I’m hoping the good of the V8 will some how counteract the bad of the funyuns. I’m guessing this is just fantasy on my part.

The tattoo situation isn’t resolved. I realized with HORRIFYING clarity that son #1 doesn’t want the cross w/ Angel wings that David Beckham has on his neck…he wants the huge, gaudy ANGEL that DB has sprawled all over his BACK……..YIKES!! It’s really too much….and too ornate to be able to be scaled down in size (which is what he’s banking on, I bet)………OY….I am at a loss for words. What happened to “MOM” in a heart on his upper arm or something? I ‘heart’ mom? Or his initials or SOMETHING not quite so big, and fancy, and angel-like? Or, like Mr. Perfectly quips….he could get the words “your name” tattooed on his butt so sometime when he’s out in a drunken brawl (yes, I’m sure it’ll happen), that he can yell to his opponent “I HAVE YOUR NAME TATTOOED ON MY ASS”, then he’ll be able to prove it…….hahahahaha.

That is typical Mr. Perfectly humor.

I really don’t have much to say—it was a quiet weekend, filled with too much eating, fretting over weather that didn’t happen, and drama filled teens.

I’m so glad to be at work!!

Happy Monday—I’m off to make a dent in the papers on my desk and wield a huge parental sword!!

Advanced Parenting

“I couldn’t believe that the hospital let us take a baby home and we don’t even have a manual. How could they be so irresponsible? In time the manual wrote itself. What they never told you is that your child will write the manual, adding a few words every day. As a father my job was to support the author, edit the work when I could and hope that the book would be a best seller”

Bill Farrell (excerpt from “Things I Learned About My Dad (In Therapy)”)

What happens when you feel like the author is getting the manual ALL WRONG?
Son #1 is 17 and wants a tattoo. He wants to quit playing football (in his Senior year), his grades dropped, he is asserting his physical independence from us in a BIG way…….

The tattoo? Meh…I don’t know how I feel. I think he’s too young to make such a PERMANENT decision, but I’m not offended by them, and other than I just don’t WANT him to, there’s not much of a reason he can’t get one.

The football? It’s breaking my heart. Why? I don’t know? Because he’s not the clean cut little athlete anymore? I think that’s it. Tattoos? Grades? No sports? Is he REALLY clean cut anymore? Are there issues? He says there aren’t. He says he does NOT drink and does NOT do any drugs. He’s even agreed to take a drug screening to prove it….

I’m a mess over this……I just don’t know where to turn or what to think. I do not suspect drug use or drinking……but he certainly wants to be with his friends ALL THE TIME….he wants to be away from US all the time…..he is a young MAN, and not my kid anymore. And it’s killing me.

Oh, and he announced to me recently that he’s a Republican. A REPUBLICAN. He can’t tell me why he runs with that crowd, but that’s who he currently identifies with. This distresses me MORE than the tattoo!! I wonder if Bill O’Reilly has a tattoo hidden somewhere on his conservative body?

He hasn’t really broken any of our rules….he has lied to me about some things. Like tanning…he confessed (finally after weeks of staring at the top of his really brown butt) that yes, he’s been tanning. But if he’s lying about tanning, what about drinking? What about drugs?

Please, I hope he’s lying about being Republican.

I’m stuck in parenting hell, internet. I am so grateful that I don’t have a kid on drugs (hopefully) or that got a girl pregnant (hopefully) or that is mentally ill (hopefully)…I know some parents deal with things so far out of the realm of rebellion that it is scary, but for me in my little world, this is crisis du jour!

What do I do? How do I convince him that a tattoo of a cross with angel wings is NOT a good idea? That when his skin sags at 80, he may regret his decision? How can I get him to see that playing football HIS SENIOR YEAR may turn out to be a great experience and memory for him, and that hanging out with his friends won’t be a life altering thing? He’ll find NEW friends and lose track of these over time. He just doesn’t GET IT……….I keep trying to remember when I was 17—I didn’t’ get it either. I know the angst he’s feeling….I totally understand, but I’m on ‘the other side’ now….the side you get when suddenly you realize that you have another person to shield from all the bad stuff in the world. It made me SICK to realize my parents weren’t stupid, they weren’t out of touch. They were trying to mold me into a decent, loving human being without allowing me to KILL MYSELF in the process.

I’m guessing we’ll be going for a tattoo this weekend. I’m guessing I’ll be broken hearted more than this instance in his young life. I’m guessing that eventually he’ll see that I’m not a lunatic idiot with no understanding or vision of what he’s dealing with. I’ll be waiting for the time that he has a 17 year old that wants tattooed or whatever the ‘rage’ is then……..I’ll probably put on a sympathetic face and try to help him work through the issue. Inside, I’ll be LAUGHING MY ASS OFF.

Oh, and the short excerpt from the Bill Farrell essay I showed above? That for me is one paragraph of truth and deep meaning. It’s going to be my MANTRA for the time being……how insightful and inspiring. Thanks, Bill…I can’t wait to read the rest of your essay. The excerpt, though I realize not complete, is spot on!

Oh, and our computer is on the fritz……something with the fan, so I’ll be more sporadic in posting and commenting. I haven’t forgotten about any of you or lost interest……..computer/blogging access is just limited for now.