My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance (author unknown).

Ok, I'm a contradiction..in a major way. I'm sort of a germaphobe, yet a horrible housekeeper. Go figure.

So, how can one have two totally opposite afflictions? Who knows, but I'm living proof it exists!

I do not enjoy housework (I don't mind laundry, except the hauling of it up and down stairs). I detest the deep cleaning tasks. Floors, Windows (ha, who am I kidding...the windows have NEVER been done here....one here and one there, but never 'window washing day'). I especially detest the floors........HATE THEM. My oldest son's 3 chores are: Bathroom floor, his own laundry and his room. I'm not a freak about their rooms. Both boys live like pigs.....and until the rooms stink of sweaty boy, I don't say much about their personal space. I make sure they wash their bedding and clothing, but other than that, until smelly boys make smelly rooms, I don't fuss over the mess. Son #2 is in charge of trash, his laundry and his room--he's worse than #1 about his room....it's bad in there.

Anyway, I got off track.....MY hatred of cleaning........Mr. Perfectly does the vacuuming of the hardwoods, and the cat litter. Oh, he does his own laundry, too. We both pick up the common living areas and I do the bathroom (except the floor which son #1 is SUPPOSED TO DO). I cook much of the time and do the shopping, and Mr. Perfectly does dishes if I cook, and if he cooks (which he does do---), then I do the clean up. We can't quite figure out who's responsible for dishes when we grill...he grills, I do the sides.....maybe we should use that as bonding time, and do it together? hahahahahahahahaha But, although our system works for us, and it doesn't generally get HORRIBLE, there are times, when things get out of hand. This weekend was one. Nobody did much around here. I convinced Mr. Perfectly to wash our bedding while I was at girls night......so that was a nice treat...to come home to Tide Lilac smelling sheets......but the bathroom.....it was BAAADDDD. When your own dirt grosses you out, you KNOW it's bad.

Son #1 hadn't done his job and cleaned the floor, despite my reminder, and the IN-LAWS are stopping by this evening. Yes, we've known about the visit for several days, but in true Perfectly Family tradition, we sat last night, stuffing our faces with spaghetti, meatballs, and cheese bread and staring gape-mouthed at the tv. Mr. Perfectly did help w/ dinner--he made the cheese bread and boiled the noodles. I made the meatballs (from scratch) and the spaghetti sauce (again, from scratch). Other than a few loads of laundry, that is ALL I managed to do.....no it wasn't due to a hangover......just laziness. So, this morning, when I realized dinner dishes were still waiting patiently to be washed, I sort of panicked.....I couldn't be upset with Mr. P, he HELPED with dinner...I hadn't thought to get up and do them last night--and the IN-LAWS are coming......so I took off work early---to get things in more presentable shape.

I came in to find a MIRACLE....the dishes had been DONE.......Mr. P worked his magic and did them before work or on his lunch hour.....either way, I nearly SWOONED with gratefulness. The counters had been wiped, and things are at least presentable in a cluttered sort of way.......but the Bathroom still needed some SERIOUS attention.

I proceeded to sweep up the caked on pet hair (the humidity in the bath seems to leave things more STUCK to the linoleum than in other parts of the house where the dirt and hair scatters to unknown parts, like under the bed, or places that aren't as obvious until you pull something away from the wall and think EWWWWWW before pushing said item back into place), and pickup stray q-tips. I then pulled all the stuff out of the way, and proceeded to hand wash the floor with bleach water---to make it smell freshly cleaned and to DISINFECT that sucker.....I diligently cleaned around the toilet with a brush, and it's now drying in it's bleach/sanitized state. Hooray for me.

After the floor dries, I'll carefully swish the toilet (yea, I should have done this first to clean up any splashes) and clean off the counter and scrape the hairspray residue off of it....then sanitize it.....It will be clean for my mother in law to use. Whew. I'm skipping the tub--because I doubt she'll want to shower...if she does, it'll be amidst soapscum and hard water stains........

I have 'rituals' that I suppose ease the germaphobe in me. Jonniker discussed her fear of CHICKEN and cleaning up after handling CHICKEN and it made me realize how OCD I am with my weird kitchen ways. Dishes CANNOT be washed with the same sponge as what is used to wipe counter tops (haven't you seen the commercials with the SALMONELLA being spread around a counter top with a regular cloth?). I use disinfecting cleaners on my counter tops and stove and clean my sink EVERY time I do dishes with comet. Comet does WONDERS---it may be old fashioned, but man, it works. I buy Lysol or Clorox brand wipes to do quick wipe ups (not for chicken, though--I don't care WHAT the commercial says). Floors are also done with some disinfecting agent--when they get done that is. My philosophy is might as well kill everything down there while bothering to clean it......

Since every news show will tell you that SPONGES are the bane of the kitchen with all of their horrible-ness, I have a system. I love the sponge for how it performs as opposed to cloths. Therefore, I use them (these in particular). I use them for 5-7 days (depending on the amount and grossness of their use) to wash dishes. I may microwave them between times to kill stuff...not always, but sometimes. They then get retired to the spray nozzle side of the sink to be used for disinfectant cleaner wiping.....counters, stove, etc. Their last little bit of life goes to the bathroom floor and toilet. Then they go to the nice landfill in the sky.

Now, with chicken, I use an entire different method of cleaning. I deal with the chicken (usually w/ disposable latex gloves) and wash the board and knife with a paper towel or my hand and soap FIRST to get much of the chicken-ness off. Then after I'm satisfied no chicken-ness will be transferred to my sponge, then it gets re-washed with the sponge and soap/hot water. Sigh....it's difficult. Even Mr. Perfectly KNOWS how to wash the chicken-ey stuff. Then the counter top gets disinfected, and then it's on to whatever else. Actually, we pretty much do this with all meat products...but chicken and poultry especially.

Now, for the rituals when someone is puking in the house. OMG.....I'll try to keep it abbreviated (hahahahahaha----abbreviated....as if I'm capable). I have a HUGE, PARALYZING fear of puking. ME puking, not others.....I am so nervous around those that are puking or feel pukey it nearly renders me inoperable. Seriously. When someone is puking, after each puking bout, I wait for all the virus germs to settle down a bit (to reduce the airborne factor) and I go in with gloves (Yes, I do) and bleach. I bleach EVERY surface thinkable that the puker may have come into contact with or came near. You know, hand contact is how most germs are spread......toilet handles, around the stool, THE STOOL, the sink, the sink handles, the light switch, the DOOR handles...I could go on if you'd like. I pray that the puker will be ok for the requisite 10 minute air drying to get the full disinfecting POWER. Then repeat...and repeat and repeat (depending on the puker and the life of their illness). Then I live in a state of panic for 3 days to see if somehow I'll catch it.

It really isn't pretty. Ask any of my family and friends. It's a true phobia that I suspect the ritualistic cleaning is clearly pointing to OCD as well......no joke.

Therefore, the smell of bleach calms me---makes me feel like I've KILLED the damn germs.....

Now, do you suspect the length of this post is because I'm WORDY, or because I don't want to put the laundry in the dryer then finish cleaning the bathroom? Wager a guess........I may even add pictures later! Dish sponge side of the sink, vs. cleaning sponge side! You'll have to be satisfied w/ text for now....who knows if I'll get back to this. It's nearly a NOVEL by now.

toodles!

Oh, pictures and girls night post coming soon!!!!

Cute

Have I mentioned I'm fat? Well, in case I haven't, I am. That's not to garner any sympathetic "Oh no you aren't"s, because facts are facts. I know what I see when I look in the mirror, and, well......it's quite obvious. So, I often fret over how I look in different clothing.

Anyway, tonight is a 'girl's night at Teenies. I have a cute shirt that I bought a couple of weeks ago that she hasn't seen. See, she's my cheerleader....she's the one who trys to ENCOURAGE me to look my best....to buy clothes that aren't too big.....and baggy......things that look nicer. Therefore, I want to wear my very cute pink shirt. So, this morning I embarked on the task that gets most neglected....hair removal.

Poor Mr. Perfectly--he gets what he gets, but OH, when the GIRLS get together, one must be CUTE. So I broke out the razor and handled the legs and underarms---yep, the legs weren't a pretty sight. I towel dried myself and went in for the kill.....the fine hairs on my neck and upper lip that I hate so dearly. I pluck the coarser ones on the neck, but lordy pete.....I've got more hair there than many men do.....sheesh. So, I got out the trusty facial hair remover creme. Applied, and waited the requisite 4 minutes, and wiped off w/ a damp cloth.

Oh, the redness...the burning sensation. I wiped and wiped, and went to apply the special 'after' creme that comes in the kit. I grabbed the HAIR REMOVER instead and slathered that on by mistake.....more burning...I quickly wiped it off and got the correct creme, but not until either side of my neck looked like Mr. Perfectly gave me whisker burn with his goatee.

Oh, did I mention the zit under my right nostril that's the size of MONTANA? Mr. Perfectly asked 'wasn't California bigger than Montana".....so you get the picture. So much for 'cute' and hair free. Try burned and zitty. BUT, Hair free.

I went to Wal Mart and bought some green aloe gel---and when I got home, the redness had toned WAYYYYY down...I was so happy, but it felt burn-ish, so I wanted to relieve that feeling---but even the ALOE burned like hell....I ended up with the red, icky skin all over again.

Slowly but surely, it's subsiding, but it won't be gone completely by time to go to Teenies. I've forewarned her, and she said not to worry. They'll laugh at me.....so we ought to be in for a fun sort of night.

Oh, don't worry, there WILL be photos. Even of me and my clownish neck and pimple under the nose.

Until later..........

Some things never change

We spent 5 hours in the emergency room with Son #1 yesterday. He called me before 4:00 pm complaining of severe abdominal pain---just left of his belly button. He said it hurt to breathe in, and that the pain was intense. I told him to come home (he claimed he could drive) and I called his doctor immediately. His doctor was gone for the day (of course) and she said with sudden onset abdominal pain, he needed to be evaluated right away at an urgent care or emergency room. I chose the er, because urgent care would send us there anyway for tests.

He got home (not arguing about going to the er) and I checked his abdomen to see if it looked distended (HERNIA PEOPLE......WORRIED ABOUT HERNIAS HERE), and it looked normal. We sped over to the er HOPING to beat the evening crowd. Amidst the masked patients, we tried not to TOUCH anything and waited. He rated his pain at an 8 when this mess started. He never lets on that he's sick or in pain...EVER. It isn't until he's very very sick that we even know anything....he just doesn't complain. By the time we got to our seats, he said the pain was a 6. 45 minutes later in 'triage' where he got his evaluation to see if he was sick enough to be seen anytime soon, he categorized the pain at a 3...hmmmmm...he peed in a cup for them and that set off a round of discomfort that jacked his pain up a notch, but nothing very bad. By 6pm he was feeling fine and ready to go. Ok parents, you know the drill here.....what if you get home and he EXPLODES with pain? What if it is inflammation of some mysterious internal organ? What if? What if? I forced him to stay.

At 6:45 we were put into a room. We watched the rest of Entertainment tonight and an episode of CSI......by 8:15, I FINALLY asked when someone would be in. They claimed we were 'next'. Finally at 8:45 Dr. Noll came in to see us.

After thorough palpitation and doctor like questions......Diagnosis? Drum roll please........... a strained abdominal muscle.

Yeah, you read right. 5 hours of an er wait, a snarly 17 yr old that was missing his Spanish group filming their big project, and a $75 co-pay. For a pulled muscle. He'll be taking advil or aleve for a few days to reduce any discomfort. No CT scans or x-rays. No blood work, no major illness.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm very thankful he's healthy and fine. But this goes to show, the panic of parenthood doesnt' stop because they are nearly adults.....it still reaches into your soul and grabs ahold when your baby is in such pain.

Nippy

A conversation with my 14 yr old son (the one who likes to pose on the roof).

Me: "Brrr...it's a little nippy out here"
Him: "HeHeHe....'nippy' HeHeHe"
Me: snicker, hoping he doesn't see me
Him: ""NIPPY" Hehehehehehehe"
Him: "Oh My God......is THAT why they call it Nippy?"
Me: (laughing hysterically) "Ask your grandpa"

Ever have one of those days?

I didn't really have a bad day...this is the way Kitty Joe really sleeps....and it's too cute, dontcha think?

Our animals are so darn cute....they are spoiled and get away with all sorts of naughty stuff.....kind of like our KIDS!!

Missouri weather is so freaky--I guess that is ONE claim to fame that Missouri has.....it's ever changing weather patterns. For instance, it was in the low 70's on Saturday, it was in the HIGH 70's on Sunday...sunny both days....at 1 am this morning, our bedroom window was open and it was 60 degrees and threatning rain. Mother Nature provided the light and sound show. By 5 am it was in the 30's and we are CURRENTLY under a Winter Weather Advisory. Go figure. According to the local Meteorologist, we may miss the worst of the snowy weather. Let's hope. But, if the pattern changes course, we could see 5 + inches of snow.

Does anyone else love Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant? I've read some online forums and the girls are all "He is such a heel.....he needs to get with the program" yada yada yada. But as we MOM'S know, he's just being honest...he's struggling with parenthood, and despite the fact he's making reality tv out of it, it seems real to me on most fronts.......and he's still cute in a former child star sort of way. When I was about 12, I had pages ripped from the centerfold of 'Teen Beat' and 'Tiger Beat' magazines of Scott Baio...and Leif Garrett, and Shaun Cassidy......my parents took one wall in my room and stuck cork squares to it and made me a HUGE bulletin board for all my pre-teen treasures. Man, the late 70's and early 80's were so cool.....bulletin board walls, and glass/chrome furniture.

Well, TV stinks tonight, so we'll be watching the weather either hit or miss us on the Weather Channel, and try to find some interesting drivel to watch........

Oh, dinner was the Chicken Scallopini that they Hy-Vee lady gave us the recipe for yesterday morning. It was really good. Here's her recipe:

4 boneless skineless chicken breasts pounded flat
2 Shallots (finely chopped)
2 cloves garlic (minced)
1/2 c Dry white wine
14 oz can seasoned chicken broth (garlic flavor)
1/2 pint heavy whipping cream
Flat leaf parsley for garnish
Olive oil (coat bottom of pan...enough to saute chicken)
flour

Dredge the chicken in flour. Saute in pan w/ olive oil until browned and cooked thoroughly. Remove chicken from pan. Brown the shallots and garlic. Add wine and chicken broth. Let liquid reduce by half. Add in cream and bring to a gentle simmer. Add chicken to the sauce to warm through. Garnish w/ parsley. Optional: serve over pasta.


It was sooo good. We just took the fabulous take-n-bake bread that Hy-Vee sells and sopped up the sauce with that. MMMMMMMM...we had steamed asparagus with it (the guys all had salad too). This recipe is a keeper

Thanks Hy-Vee for having the fabulous sample and recipe........

Wouldn't you like to be a foodie too?

Oh food. How I love you. Today we are having my pulled pork sandwiches. Yum. Seriously...yum. While shopping for ingredients, we went to Hy-Vee..where there's a'helpful smile in every aisle'. Son #1 works there--so we go there alot, despite the fact it is probably the most expensive store in town. I'd take no smiles and cheap food, so Hy-Vee, make a note.

Actually, as a side note, we went to Schnucks first....it's a midwest chain of stores....and they can be pricey too, but not always....they haven't jumped on the 'soda should be as expensive as beer' train yet, so they are good in my book, since Mr. Perfectly and I consume copious amounts of soda (no, not pop--SODA). Schnucks supposedly had pork tenderloin on sale, but they were out. We found some pork loin (as the butcher kindly told me apparently it is far different than the TENDER loin).....it was 10 bucks for this airtight package of pork. I'm not a pork lover (except in my pulled pork sandwiches)..so I'm not a pro pork buyer...so after weighing the thought of finding pork any cheaper at Hy-vee--not likely, we bought the pork from Schnucks. Based on the butcher's high recommendation for what applications I wanted to use on the slab of meat.

Anyway, back to Hy-Vee---we bought toilet paper---Soft-n-Gentle...our plumbing doesn't tolerate real toilet paper well---Charmin just is too elite to break down well in water---and only a couple of places in town sell Soft-n-Gentle. Hy Vee is one of them.....and we could take a peek at Son #1 in action. He's so cute in his blue apron, working in the frozen foods section. So, while perusing the selections at the 'Friendliest store in town", wouldn't you know. Pork loin, WHOLE OR HALF for $1.99 a lb. We paid 3.58 a lb. for ours. So, what does one do? Buy a whole freaking pork loin for 'someday' or hope that Hy-Vee comes through again in a few months when we want pulled pork again? Decisions....we left the pork where it was, and wandered over to the bakery area. And between the bakery area and the meat, there were SAMPLES...I adore samples in the grocery store. This was of Chicken Scallopini.....which I will be making TOMORROW for dinner...it was awesome. And she had WINE samples.....WINE AT 10:30 IN THE MORNING at Hy-Vee---Maybe I WILL take some smiles after all!

Seriously, Hy-Vee is AWESOME for their wine tasting. We were at Hy-Vee at the Lake of the Ozarks by chance one day in November, and the ENTIRE STORE had wine and booze tasting around the ENTIRE perimeter of the store! I left tipsy!! Really tipsy.....not that it takes much to get me tipsy, but still....I bet I had 2 and a half glasses of wine in total there....plus a few liquor samples. Man oh Man.....that is my kind of day at the grocery store. Luckily, Perfectly's dad was driving. He patiently waited for me to go throughout the WHOLE store and drink! How awesome is Daddy!!

We tried some of the sweet wine this morning and bought 2 bottles....$8.98 a bottle. I embarassed myself because the food sample lady pointed to the bottles next to her display and said "this is all I have left". She'd ordered 5 cases or something and this was all until the order came in.....I HURRIEDLY grabbed the two bottles she had--because, you know, I didn't want to be left out of the wine stampede she'd had and all. And Mr. Perfectly pointed out the case that was sitting BELOW her display. Yeah...who looked like drunk THEN? At 10:30 in the morning. After proudly exclaiming how my son worked there too.

We came home and unloaded our huge grocery purchases and that is the end of the story. Exciting re-living my life, isn't it? Ohhh.....you want the pulled pork recipe?? Sure, here goes:

One pork roast--2-4 lbs--use your favorite. We've used pork chops, too
1 med onion, roughly chopped
1 green pepper roughly chopped
1/2 can chicken broth
3/4 bottle of WORLD HARBORS Jerk Sauce

Put all ingredients into a crock pot or slow cooker. Cook all day til pork falls apart. Shred the pork, add a little of the sauce (for flavor, not to make it saucy). Serve on toasted rolls, with cole slaw. ON. THE. SANDWICH. I promise, you'll love it.

Up on the roof.....

Today it is 65 degrees. Mr. Perfectly spent the late morning and early afternoon cleaning up debris from the December ice storm. We had alot of downed limbs and branches. He cleaned up some of it the week of the storm, and true to the Perfectly family nature, he put the rest off until today--and that's only because the free dump site (that doesn't have size limits on debris--such as length and girth) closes tomorrow.......we missed the curbide pickup that the city provided...for free, but when I complained about the missed opportunity, Mr. Perfectly so nicely reminded me that MY ass wasn't out there picking up sticks either. Touche.

Son #2 was put onto rooftop duty, gathering the debris that has been hanging out up there....and true to HIS nature, while he was up there,we (and the neighborhood, and passing small planes) witnessed the following.......




Son #2 is 14, and the girls all tell him he's HOT. They tell him he should model for Abercrombie........he's been practicing:





Or perhaps, he's auditioning for the next Spider Man??




So, next time you are flying over my neck of the woods and see a cute blonde kid on the roof goofing off, give him a shout out......