Slamma Jamma Parking Wars

So, I’ve said before that parking at work for me is an issue. There are several parking lots that are free for employees and the public, BUT, they are further from the building. My DELICATE sensibilities don’t LIKE walking further than I need to. Especially in the cold, rain, snow or extreme heat.

So, I often scrounge for quarters to pay a meter that is quite close to the building entrance. I don’t LIKE to pay money to park, when there are free spots, but remember, my DELICATE SENSIBILITIES!!!

We had a bitterly cold snap a couple of weeks ago. Stop. It does TOO get bitterly cold here. It was hovering at ZERO degrees. I know that some of you live in places like MINNESOTA and shit like that where zero is balmy, but this is Missouri. Middle of the road……we don’t often HAVE bitterly cold temperatures. Anyway, during this time, I found a parking meter that is JAMMED. Yeah, Baby!! No quarters coming from my pocket!

I have smugly been parking there for a couple of weeks now. Happy as a clam to take FULL advantage of the meter being jammed. Then, earlier this week, an INTERLOPER was in my spot. A white car with TINTED WINDOWS!! There were all sorts of empty spots around it! I was IMMEDIATELY suspicious, but simultaneously hoping that it was merely a coincidence.

The following day, I pulled in, and my spot was there. EMPTY….waiting for me to park there. Like an old friend. I took the spot. As I was gathering my crap, the white, window tinted car abruptly pulled in right next to me. Paid the meter and walked into the building. I knew that we had a competition!!

Yesterday, I conned Mr. P into making my coffee, so I could leave the house those few precious minutes early to CLAIM MY PARKING SPOT. And Damn if white tinted windows wasn’t there already.

It was ON!!

This morning, I got up, rushed to get ready, asked for coffee help again and raced from the house. I sped (just a little) to work so I could be VICTORIOUS!! I pulled into the row of metered parking and that little devil inside of me began to chuckle…IT WAS OPEN….THE JAMMED METER SPOT WAS MMMIIIINNNEEEE!!!! Buahahahahahaha!

I sat and waited to see if white tinted windows showed up. And she certainly did. The evil laughter of VICTORY bubbled up from my chest!! Then, she pulled into the metered spot directly in front of me. And this BADASS, oldschool, Margaret Cho looking person got out of the car and strolled to the passenger side of her vehicle with a cigarette dangling from her lips. DAMN….this girl could KICK my pansy ass!! I busied myself looking in my purse, grabbing my stuff trying to not draw attention!!

She toughly walked up to HER meter…..casually glanced at it, and walked away. Not paying for the spot!! I hurried out of my car and tried to be all cool and casual, and looked at THAT meter…..son of a bitch…it was jammed too! I didn’t have such a coup!! I wasn’t VICTORIOUS!!

According to Jakki, there are several meters that are jammed up, or at least on occasion are jammed up. People apparently KNOW about this, and scour the meters to find those that aren’t working correctly. And I thought I had found SUCH a secret gem.

What is REALLY sick about this whole thing is that I work flex hours. I come in at 7am. I get off at 3:30 pm. We were told several months ago that in order to KEEP the privilege of flex hours we had to be at our desks WORKING at 7, not walking in the door at 7. Well, true to my nature, I often walk in the door at 7.

The threat of discipline on the JOB didn’t make me rush out of my house any quicker, but a damn parking spot did. I really, REALLY like to win……and this was a competition….one that I would CONQUER…AND WIN!!!

Now, I will have to go down and scour early one morning to see which meters are jammed and make notes of their numbers. So I can continue to be victorious in my poor little crazy mind.

Happy Friday!!