Is 5pm too early for wine and putting on my nightgown?

Sooooooo......where the hell have I been? Yeah....about that. We got new security software at work, and can't get to many sites. I'm lazy about going ALL. THE. WAY. TO. THE. OFFICE. to use the computer at home. I didn't like having a computer in the living room at the old house, and now that we are in the bigger, better house, and we have AN OFFICE, I don't like to get up and go to another room to use the computer. I feel isolated, and can't watch my shows. So, I've been self indulgent and lazy and have not blogged. My bad. HOWEVER, today, when it's TOO LATE, I thought of a solution!! Son #1 has a LAPTOP!! And we have WIRELESS!!! Duh! Why haven't I thought of this before??

So, I called him and he doesn't care if I use it, so I get the best of both worlds!! I'm blogging AND watching my re-runs of NCIS. I am 5 years behind, you know.

How are y'all? I've missed you so. My son says he's moving out this weekend to his own place. That means JUST when I've figured out a solution to my surfing/tv issues, he's going to take the solution!! Oh well, I'll use it while I can, and ENJOY IT!!

There's been lots going on........nothing bad......it's all been pretty nice. My anniversary was on the 26th......Married to the same fabulous guy for 23 years!! My kids are okay, and the new TV season has begun. We are still going to Hawaii, and can't wait.

I came home this afternoon and made chili. Mr. P wants chili, and when we went to the grocery to buy stuff it was COOOOLLLLDDD.....but today is beautiful. 75 and sunny. My kind of day. Since we live in the middle of nowhere, I threw on my nightgown, and ran around chopping onion, browning burger and pouring wine.

OH!! Ghost Hunters!! They have NEW EPISODES! And tonight they will be investigating the Lemp Mansion in St. Louis! I mean, they've already done it, but the episode airs tonight! This is SO COOL! I've read alot about the Lemp Mansion, and it's scary stuff!! You can stay at the Lemp mansion and I've thought about at least TOURING the place but I'm too much of a chicken. I'm facinated with it, but too chicken to check it out. Therefore, this episode of Ghost Hunters should give me an idea of what's there.

Oh, I made some more Lemoncello!! This stuff is awesome guys. This time, I took half the liquor and made one bottle of Lemoncello and one bottle of GINGER-cello. I steeped fresh ginger in with the everclear and added the simple syrup to round out the recipe, and it's AWESOME!! It's sweet and Gingery!! It' awesome in Lemon flavored sparkling water. I can't wait to try it in other drinks.

My dad seems to be doing beautifully. He's working, driving, running errands! It's so cool! He is happy and looking forward to getting married. IN HAWAII!! OMG.....can you imagine how awesome this will be??

Oh, and it's a disappointing fact that the new season of NCIS and Glee are opposite one another and I don't have a DVR. However, Glee has won out in my choice of tv fare. Despite my unfortunate couple of weeks of medication change induced obsession over Mr. Shuester, I nearly went against the grain and took up NCIS.....but Glee was too appealing. After Glee is a new quirky sit-com tht has me hog tied to the chair.......it's called "Raising Hope" and either it's the lamest show ever and I'm the lamest middle aged tv addict, OR it's a smart, HILARIOUS comedy about real people in real life. I opt for the latter, because I totally don't want to be lame.

Well, I still have alot rambling around in the dusty cavity that holds my brain, but I suppose I'd better let you guys off the hook and leave my random observations for another day.

Oh, does anyone have any tips for getting a normally litter trained cat to stop peeing everywhere but his box? He poops there, so he OBVIOUSLY knows where it is, but he apparently is having adjustment issues or something. I don't want my new house to reek of CAT!!

Toodles for now. I really missed you guys!!

Bloomers

I bought a dress. A DRESS!! A FANCY DRESS!!! Probably a waste of money, because I generally don't wear dresses, let alone a party type dress, but it was TOO CUTE and it was 50% off plus an additional 10% off.....I couldn't resist.

Why, you ask, don't I wear dresses? Well, Internet, let's face some brutal facts. Pantyhose are so OUT, and wearing shorts under a dress is so kindergarten......but being heavy, the thighs sort of rub together. Ugh..I KNOW!! How dare they!! But the rubbing causes near immediate sweating (which CERTAINLY is NOT cute) and the sweating leads to ultimate CHAFING. Neither of which I'm fond of or want to sport while wearing a dress.

So, I've been looking for something to wear under a dress.....something appropriately underwear-ish....and gals..in the big girl catalogs they have BLOOMERS!! A girl version of boxers! I couldn't have been MORE EXCITED!! They come in nylon...like a slip.....which makes it appropriate for under skirt wear....and it elimates the skin touching fat skin, and the solution was FOUND!! So I bought the fancy dress, and the bloomers.

HOWEVER....(isn't there always with Perfectly??) I apparently ordered the wrong thing. I ordered cotton, which isn't slick and silky like nylon, and may not work as well under said dress. Crappity crap. Now I have to send them back....and wait on the nylon ones.

As I just this very moment discovered one style only comes in cotton....duh.....stupid me for not reading. So, I'll keep those, but I'll have to return the others for nylon.

So, I'm being like a guy and wearing a t-shirt and my bloomers around the house! What? It's no different than men's boxers!!

Well, I learned a tequila lesson this past weekend. Remember? I told you I met up with my high school/college friend? Well, I went to her house to a pool party on Saturday. Margarita's and wine in tow.........didn't touch the wine...I wore my new pink swimsuit.....and drank the margarita's. On an empty stomach. In the sun. WOWZA......that was a mistake! I toddled around her yard going to and fro the bathroom I'm sure looking like an ever-loving fool. Luckily Mr. P had chauffered me there, and picked me up, but, Internet? Let me tell you. Tequila is some wicked stuff! I think for a while I'll stick to my wine spritzers and girly type drinks. Whoo Boy! The hard stuff is....well....HARD!!

I found out today that PhD is COMING FOR A VISIT!! Um......so what that her family lives here and I have to share her? Who CARES!! PhD IS COMING FOR A VISIT! And her hot husband!! AND her hot husband wouldn't care ONE TINY BIT if I walked around in my bloomers. Now, MY husband, on the other hand may not appreciate it. He doesn't appear anywhere but around me in HIS bloomers. Even though people may not know the difference in shorts and his boxers. AND he won't wear his pajama pants anywhere where people may see him. He's such a prude. Son #1 brought in some dude he works with earlier this week, and I'd done my change into my nightgown, and oh well.....it is what it is.........momma in her nightgown.

I made some friend requests on Facebook and so far, all but one HAS ACCEPTED ME! The one who hasn't may not remember me, although he should. He knew me, then he met Mr. P at college, and then I met Mr. P the NEXT year at college, and realized he knew this guy, and we all were happy....so I assume he'll remember me, but who knows.

Well, that's about all I've got for now. I really do have drunken photos from the SWIM SUIT shoot of last week......but Mr. P is messing with *sigh* football pictures and hasn't gotten around to putting MY photos in a format that I can get to. Disk. Or email. Or directly in my photos folder. I'll post them someday. Really. I know you are DYING to see what I look like in my suit. GAH! You'll be sorry! or maybe I'LL be sorry!

toodles for now, peeps!!

Holy Moly!

Yeah, yeah....WTF ever...I know I was supposed to get on a normal blogging schedule (does anybody else write SCHEDULE while in their mind thinking of the prounciation of a snotty British butler saying SHHHEDGULE??)

There's SO much to talk about today. I should be cooking dinner. Because I invited Teenie and her son to eat with us.....and everything is still in the freezer, and it's 5:20 pm. Now....she hasn't responded to my hurried request for her companionship at dinner, so she may not come. But I ought to cook SOMETHING for my family, don't you think? Friend? fancy dinner. Family? Peanut Butter.

Okay, Monday, I got 4 moles removed. Well 3 moles and a skin tag. Holy Shit. SKIN TAGS! I'm OLD!! See, I'm all worried again about the blog. I've been so lacking in content, I've lost 2 of my 5 readers, and I may have gained another....in the form of Perfectly's Dad's bride........we have a name for her, however.......MARTY....Hi Marty....if you read this. Glad if you do, but worried if you do because you know.....I worry about the verbal vomit that just flows.......but that's part of blogging. Not everyone likes what I say.

Anyway, I wanted my big gnarly pencil eraser sized mole removed from my back so it would look prettier in my Hawaii wedding attire!! I'm a moly person...is it moley or moly? Anyway......I have lots of moles. I'm fair skinned and moley. But I got the worst offender removed, and a (hork) skin tag taken off too. I should be toned and hot...I'm still 22 in my HEART........dammit.

And, I've got bathing suits. I ordered 2 for the trip. Or do you call them swimming suits...or swim suits? Whatever........it's all awkward when stuffing a size 22 body into these bad boys. I've got 2 styles, and yes. I'm going to show pictures. Obviously I'm not doing much to lose the weight, so it is what it is. I need to learn to LOVE myself, right? I can be a fat hottie, can't I? I'll do it later. After some wine, maybe. The Hawaiian people can be a little on the chunky side so maybe some people will APPRECIATE my rubenesque-ness.

Oh, guess what? The warm fuzzies came on again today!! I chatted with my college roommate on Facebook for a while! Y'all know how I love to connect with old friends. I wasn't a very nice college roommate. I got a boyfriend right away, and we were inseperable. Looking back, I realize that maybe one shouldn't be such an asshole to friends when you get a boyfriend, but I snagged a good one! 26 years later we are still together! But anyway, I failed Chrissy as a roommate. She moved out 2nd semester.......I still feel bad that I ran her off. But anyway, we've kept in touch some over the years. We were in each other's weddings, etc......and we visited today. It's just so cool. We plan to get together and get drunk. I mean.....visit over some appetizers and a scant glass of wine.

Okay, back to Marty. We had her birtday Dinner a couple of weeks ago, and it was so fun. I asked her if I could introuduce her to you guys and show pictures on my blog, and she said I could!! YAY!! She's more conservative than I, so I wondered if she'd be put off, but she was on the bandwagon........as long as she gets to approve any photos of herself that I post. I think that's pretty fair. Especially since I didn't really give Perfectly's Dad that option. Although he's not been on here alot, I've snuck a picture or two of him here, and he's been none the wiser. So, I worry that my bad words and irreverent attitude towards drinking and hot men will offend her. I haven't had the 'talk' with her like I did my mom and explain that this is MY blog and I write what I want (sort of....I do worry alot about offending people...I've been worrying for PARAGRAPHS now that I'm going to offend some lovely Hawaiian soul that's rail thin.....), and I expect not to be judged. Unless it's positively and that she think's I'm totally cute. Then she can judge. I hate to have that conversation, because we were sort of THROWN into this blended family thing with dad's Cardiac Arrest......and I like her.......and I hope she likes me.......and you know...what if she STOPS after reading my prattling?

And I'm mildly ticked off at Perfectly's Dad. He watches NCIS ALL. THE. TIME. Even before he got sick. I'd never seen an episode. EVER. I can't get past Mark Harmon playing Ted Bundy in that 80's tv movie. It's always creeped me out a bit, but you know what, Internet? He's kind of HAWT......even as he ages........and the show is actually funny!! And interesting. So I come home from work and turn it on and usually watch two episodes!! It's kind of weird. Gibbs and Abbey are my favorite characters. Then Ziva. I can't believe I got sucked into ANOTHER show....that's been on for like 5 years, and I've missed ALL OF THE EPISODES!!

Okay...I've gotta go try on my bathing/swimming/swim suit and pour some wine. Seriously...I can't believe I committed in writing and in my brain to showing pictures of ME....IN A BATHING/SWIMMING/SWIM SUIT! Being FAT!!! omg!!

Toodles for now.

HI!!!

I’m sorry I’ve lagged so in my blogging. Things have finally calmed down a bit in the Perfectly world, but I was being lazy. At the farm, our computer is away from the family room, so to have to get up, and go into ANOTHER ROOM to blog just seems like a chore sometimes, so I’ve been putting it off.

But, now that I’m here, I’ve got some REALLY BIG NEWS!! I’m so excited. WE ARE GOING TO HAWAII!! (HI…get it?…..my title?…..it says hi, as in hello, and HI as in HAWAII!!!!!). Yes, thanks to Perfectly’s Dad, my family gets to go on a lovely vacation…again! We went to Mexico 6 years ago, and now Hawaii. Oh, did I mention that there will be a tropical wedding? I didn’t? Oh……well, MY DADDY IS GETTING MARRIED!!! IN HAWAII!!!!

He’s been though one of the roughest health crisis’ I could imagine. This was planned pre cardiac arrest, but obviously, with his health in a tenuous balancing act, we didn’t know how it would pan out. But he’s feeling better, and getting stronger every day, and by later this year, he is confident that he’ll be ready to make the long trip to Oahu for a wedding and vacation. The proposal is official, and we’ve even been DRESS SHOPPING!! The girls that are going all get to be dolled up in more formal beachy attire, and they guys will be in khakis and either polos or long sleeve white shirts. Here is my dress. Mind you, it’s a size 22 and maybe I won’t look as awesome as the skinny model, but still…..A LONG DRESS…….oh, click on the color ‘pool’ (like pool blue in the color swatches) and you’ll see what color I chose. Perfect for tropical weddings, I think!! Of course, I’m hung up on my weight and looking like a popsicle instead of a member of a small wedding party, BUT, I’m still excited as all get out to wear a fancy dress. IN HAWAII!!! The other girls all chose chiffon dresses as well…….and the colors are guava, canary, wisteria and watermelon….so we’ll all look similar but different, and have our own tropical colors to brighten it up. Some dresses are short, some are long…..there are only 3 adults and 2 kids with dresses….and of course the BRIDE (her dress.....I have to get permission from her to show her pictures and identify her....she doesn't even know I have a blog)!!

We will go to a nice restaurant on the resort property afterwards, and call it done. I think they want SOME glitz and glamour, but yet quiet and simple, too….so there won’t be any crazy dancing or flowers braided into our hair (although the Hippie in me thinks that would be AWESOME). It’s going to be a totally fun, and exciting day and week!! There will be pictures and I’m sure lavish descriptions. They are getting married at one of the resort wedding venues, and not on the beach, but it OVERLOOKS the beach from what I gather. How exciting is THAT? It will be just family…12 of us, I think, including Dad and Bride……

My brain is spinning from all the excitement of a vacation and the glamour of a beach WEDDING!! I can hardly contain myself.

My 17 yr old son can’t wait to buy a t-shirt that proclaims “I got lei’d”. And my eldest is being a little more reserved on his expression of any excitement. I can’t wait to see the sights and beauty of Hawaii. Of course Mr. P is practically VERKLEMPT at the photo opportunities. Or at least I’d like to think he is. He’s pretty reserved, too. While I’ve been buying travel books and whooping it up, he’s been quietly sitting back and watching me be a fool.

So, there. That’s some GOOD news coming from my world…..compared to the latter half of June and beginning of July, this is AWESOME………

Happy Wednesday……Toodles for now!!

What a difference 3 weeks makes!

Well, my dad is home recuperating. It will be a long, slow process, but he’s home……doing alright and should make a full recovery.

There are still a lot of things to do and milestones to surpass. Even small things are tough right now……but each day he is better, recovering and will get stronger.

His heart stopped. Sudden Cardiac Arrest is what they call it. And 95% of people who suffer this at home do not survive. NINETY FIVE PERCENT. The reason being is because once the heart stops, then no oxygen gets to where it needs to be….and people perish. A defibrillator is necessary to ‘shock’ the heart back into rhythm…..and generally speaking, people do not have these conveniently stowed away for use! He now has a defibrillator/pacemaker in his chest………..portable, and convenient, so should this happen again, he has that immediate response that should get the heart started.

You guys, this was scary. Life altering, scary. I am sure I haven’t dealt with all the emotions this stirred up, and of course my own weight issues will worry me…….it has been a stressful several weeks. I am more than grateful that he’s okay, and considering this DID happen, it’s the best possible outcome, but man…....what a difficult trip it’s been.

In other news…….well, there really is no other news. We are finally just in the last several days beginning to get back to a semblance of normal in our lives………..Dad is at home and we don’t go over all the time like we did when he was in the hospital. He needs to get to a semblance of ‘normal’ himself…..and us hovering isn’t ‘normal’. Nothing about his life is ‘normal’ right now….but it has to be ‘normal’ for now. Taking a shower is a chore, right now, and healing is of the FIRST priority. In the next couple of weeks he’ll have cardiac rehab set up and the onslaught of follow up doctor visits will begin.

So, that’s it. Update over. Let’s hope I can get back to a normal blogging schedule!

Happy Monday!

Toodles for now!

Out of commission

Well, I will be out of commission a while longer, internet........My dad has been in the hospital for over a week, and will be there probably a week longer.

He suffered a cardiac arrest on 6/15/10 (which was his birthday) and they said he wouldn't make it. The first responders, EMT, and hospital provided resuscitation and CPR for 35 minutes, and shocked his heart 17 times in that 35 minutes.

He made it, and is doing well, believe it or not. However, he has bypass surgery tomorrow, and we've been told we aren't out of the woods yet. *sigh*

I have been at the hospital most of that time. We've gone out to eat twice, and other than that picked up food that can be taken there. This is my first opportunity to let you all know where I've been.

My Text buddy, Ms. Darkstar has been there all week, and I can't tell you how I appreciate her, and of course Jakki. Jakki came over to the hospital at 11 pm when all of this happened and was 'there' for me. She's been my rock!

I'll be around, but how much? I don't know. Think positive thoughts that his bypass will be successful and he'll be the same ornery, sometimes crotchety Perfectly's dad that I know and love.

Toodles for now.

Bottle Baby

Well, Internet….what…it’s been 3 weeks since we moved to the farm? We’ve already got a calf that needs to be bottle fed. As in a cow sized bottle with a teat sized nipple. And a baby momma that doesn’t take kindly to people feeding her offspring. I guess baby momma isn’t making milk for the baby. So, I was sent last Sunday to the city of Eldon, Mo, to purchase calf formula. And it’s EXPENSIVE stuff! I wonder if they have bovine WIC or milk replacement food stamps or anything?

Baby cows (or calves as they are supposed to be called) are really cute. They aren’t all crusty with other cow’s shit yet. Their hide is soft and their little noses are wet like a dog’s. They frolic in the cooler evenings and like all babies, want to suck CONSTANTLY. Those poor cow momma’s. How it must be to have a several hundred pound baby suckling at your udder.

Son #2 broke his collarbone last Friday at the Mizzou Football Camp. Yeah, that was an experience. We took him to the Orthopaedic doctor on Tuesday for a follow up (after going to Urgent Care). And since I don’t have a flair for comedy or words, I won’t be able to artfully articulate what happened there. But is really was totally funny. A young man arrived in the room and introduced himself as the Ortho doctor’s resident. He reviewed Son #2’s x-ray, and turned to face him and asked (rather, confirmed) that it was the LEFT clavicle that was broken. He sat on the stool and proceeded to exam the RIGHT collarbone. For a second, I thought maybe he wanted to compare the non broken to the broken one, but it soon became apparent that he was going by HIS left and not my son’s left. I looked at Mr. P and his expression and immediately lost my cool. I laughed so hard that tears were streaming……belly was jiggling and generally making a complete FOOL of myself. Mr. P got tickled as did son #1. Nobody could regain their composure enough to TELL the resident that he was examining the GOOD collarbone! Finally, after getting kind of a bewildered look from the resident, I tried to stop laughing in this man’s face. I breathed; I bit my lip and finally settled down just a touch. Then, Mr. P finally composed himself to tell they guy he had examined the wrong bone, and I lost it AGAIN. It’s like laughing in Church…you know you shouldn’t….but you can’t help it. The ‘preacher’ (doctor) is giving you dirty looks and all it serves to do is make you laugh HARDER.

Then the real doctor arrived and we had to pretend like we hadn’t behaved like a pack of hyenas in front of his resident. That was 10 minutes of my life that I wish I could take back, FOR SURE.

So, what have YOU been up to? It’s been a rough few weeks at the Perfectly house, so my blogging has kind of waned a bit. Not that the fives of you would really miss it!

Anyway, Happy Friday….y’all KNOW how I love Friday nights!

Toodles for now!