I hate Powking!!

So, I just got a text from my 8 yr old great niece. Here it is verbatim: "Hay shely its maddi my mom is powking she has the flow. I dont no want to do"

Awwwwww. Poor little chickadee!! To translate, it says: Hey Shelly, it's Maddi. My mom is puking. She has the flu. I don't know what to do.

How does one instruct an 8 yr old how to care for their mother who keeps POWKING? I feel so bad for them!! I just told her to take her mom a Sierra Mist and to tell her that I said she had to drink it even if she can't keep it down.

Besides the obvious of the 8 yr old worrying about her mom, there is the whole germ thing. Y'all know how I hate the stomach flu germs! Pee Pee (my niece) had already called me this morning to let me know she wouldn't be coming to work (we work in the same department), and now Maddi has the phone! Germ transfer big time. I didn't tell Maddi about germ transfer because that would freak her out. She's freaked out enough, so I'll freak out for her. I just know she'll get this in a day or two. Yuk.

Mr. P took some Gatorade over and we are hoping Pee Pee is drinking it...........yikes. If she gets dehydrated, she'll end up in the hospital.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I really missed my dad, but it was quite nice otherwise. I got a Kindle Fire (yes, I've read 2 books since Sunday and working on the 3rd and have the 4th purchased and ready to read). I also got a KitchenAid stand mixer, which I've wanted for years and couldn't afford. The Kindle came from Mr. P and the KitchenAid came from my stepmom. I was off Thursday thru Sunday, so I had a lovely 5 days off.

Toodles for now!!

Advance Apologies

Is it possible to be excited for Christmas, yet at the same time feel blue? I am so sad that I lost my dad, and I'm ticked off that the world just keeps on chugging along and I don't want it to. I WANT everyone to still gather around me and provide support!! However, his loss, while sad just doesn't impact others the way it does those of us that were closest to him. On the other hand, it's a beautiful time of year, my kids are adults and will be fun to hang out with at Christmas. I have a great family and lovely friends. Mr. P and I are exchanging gifts, which we normally don't do, so this year will be especially nice. And especially SAD. How is that even possible?

I have a new job where I make more money!! We got a new car in October!! We were able to afford gifts, and we have a lovely home, utilities are on and a freezer and pantry full of food. What more could I ask for? MY DAD.

Emotions are tricky little suckers. On one hand I am so grateful for what I have, and the people in my life. On the other hand, I'm sad and ticked off that everything won't be the same. Sometimes the contradiction is overwhelming. Why can't things just be simple? I'm impatient and logical (sometimes---even though now it seems like I may be a tad on the 'over the edge' side) and I know that things are what they are and I need to accept them. It's the emotions that kick in and screw it all up. They make grief more pronounced.....they make things like holidays CONFUSING, rather than lovely.....they trick you into going to bed at 8 pm just to turn your mind off!! Emotions SUCK.

Okay, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to move on to other things.

Things like old friends. I got a friend request on facebook from an old friend. Practically ancient now. When I was 14 or so, I 'loved' this guy. But as childhood wanes, so do those old feelings and I'm left with fondness. It makes me happy to know that people I knew all those years ago are still around. That they are still interested in my life, as I am theirs. I love to brag on my marriage and my kids and love to hear about other's lives, families, accomplishments and low times. It's comforting in a way to know that even though there isn't 'love' or
'attraction' or whatever that people still feel connected. Hey, I guess that's what facebook does, right?

My Step-Mom, Pee Pee and I all made cookies this past weekend. OMG, you guys. You wouldn't believe the number of cookies and candies that we made in a matter of 6 or 7 hours. Put 3 people in a kitchen with a stand mixer and we made MAGIC!! It was alot of fun. Now I have a bazillion cookies at my house, and only one son living at home to eat them!!

So, see? Christmas is nice, it is fun and it is exciting! It just stinks that that sadness permeates everything.

That is why you have my apologies. I would imagine I'm going to be stuck on this for a while. Hang with me and I know things will ease a tiny bit.

I have been looking for one of those 'sound machines'. You know...they were all the rage 8 yrs ago or so. It's a little machine that plays nature sounds or white noise. At my job, we've adopted several residents at a nursing home for Christmas, and that is the gift that I need to buy. I've looked at all the usual places..discount stores, drug stores and I can't FIND THEM. It's so annoying. However, I keep seeing them on store websites, but they don't appear to be in the stores. I took a chance and purchased one from Wal Mart.com. I chose the pick up in store feature, so we'll see how that goes. They took my money, so let's hope they have them in stock!! It is supposed to be turned in by tomorrow!!

That's about all I've got for now. Hang with me internets!! This grief thing has kicked my ass and you all seem to be the ones I'm talking to.

Toodles for now.

Genius Squelched

So, today I talked to Crissy for a brief moment on facebook. I've been thinking about blogging again, and I was inspired!!

First, some business to attend to: Perfectly's Dad passed in September. I am devastated. He and I were extremely close. He had a stoke, so it was pretty sudden. I got a new job the week after he passed. I realize people are going through worse, so I often feel guilty, but MAN have I been stressed!

Anyway....enough about that.

So, Crissy mentioned her Christmas tree and that nobody understood her vision. And my first blog post in MONTHS came to mind! I totally had the same issue!!!

We have a puny little tree. 6 ft., cost $25, and is sparse. I looked for a new tree, but apparently everyone and their brother buys a Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving! Who knew? All but the ginormous and uber expensive ones were left. I decided to glam up Mr. Puny instead.

I bought bows, birds, and silver thingys to "poke" out of the tree as a topper! I've seen designer trees and thought to myself "I could do THAT"! I was wrong. Apparently, when the designer/creative gene was being handed out, I was off picking my nose, or reading up on Boone's Farm vs. Arbor Mist.

My Step Mother came over and helped (um, basically did the whole thing) decorate my tree. Now it's a beautifully decorated tree that doesn't appear as if it has antennae sticking out of it, as my 8 yr. old great niece thought. Or that it doesn't look like a crown, like my son thought.

My foray into the designer world was no more. I'll stick to other things like coupons and blogging to fill my time. I am not a Designing Woman.......

Toodles for now. Leave a comment if you like. It may encourage me to keep doing this.

The Family That Medicates Together Stays Together

Soooooo......secrets revealed!! BWHAHAHAHAHAH...Actually many of you KNOW already, but since I've invited all my Facebook friends to read this, this may be news!!

I began taking prozac about 3 yrs ago for some major PMS stuff I had goin' on. Hmmmmm. I realized quickly that the Prozac helped out in alot of areas in my life. HMMMMMMM....again!! Jump forward to November and some things happened (that I won't discuss.....yet) and it was suggested I begin some therapy to try to figure myself out. Why I'm impulsive....why I have a "I want it when I want it" attitude, and maybe some low self esteem mixed in? Maybe some issues in living in D.E.N.I.A.L.? Hey, as I've discovered, Denial is a TOTALLY COOL place to live! You don't have to face the UGLY in your life while living in Denial! I LOVE Denial! He and I are like THIS (see my crossed fingers??).

Well, recently, Denial and I have broken up. I still long for him, and still retreat to him when I'm all wigged out, but for the most part he and I are FINITO!! Done. Mr. Perfectly couldn't be happier. Denial was getting in the way of our lives! Mr. P. didn't like Denial nearly as much as I did, (and sometimes still do). Anyway, during this time, I had a mini-meltdown over nothing really........just my life, and the Doctor put me on some additional medication to help 'boost' the Prozac. HOLY STEMWARE, Batman!! Does it work!!! I practically JUMP out of bed, I DO STUFF other than watch TV....I started making jewelery! I cleaned my kitchen this week without complaining too much to the men in my life how much I HATED doing it and that they should help. I haven't put all of my piled laundry away, but BABY STEPS, folks......baby steps. I'm workin' on it!

Oh, and the stemware I talked about in my last blog? And mentioned so fondly here? Stemware and vintage jewelry may have taken Denial's place in my life. Sadly. Denial doesn't cost money, however, jewelry and stemware does! Shit. Backslide again.

Anyway, I have this weird obsession for stemware (and other dishes). I never knew it until we moved. When I packed up cabinets in the old house, I found all this STEMWARE. I divided it and wrapped it in boxes labeled for the boys. I figured if they ever have a house or apartment, stemware would be appropriate once they reach 21.....and their wives or girlfriends will appreciate my efforts, RIGHT? So, I kept the stuff I wanted, and boxed up the stuff I didn't and made a little 'bar' area in my new kitchen. The top cabinets house my stemware and the bottom cabinets house the BOOZE. It's all very cute and tucked away. That is until my cookbooks, french onion soup crocks and the George Foreman sucked the Booze space.....sheesh. Selfish of them, don't you think?

So, two weeks ago, we went to an auction. You'll never believe what I did? Denial and I joined hands and he THREW UP my bidding card at some stemware. 54 pieces of stemware to be exact. Denial is such a Bitch. He bid and bid and bid. He got a set of 3 blue anchor/hocking mixing bowls (my kitchen is blue, BTW, so Denial has good taste). I got a set of 8 Blue stemmed water (or wine) tumblers, and a set of 46 matching glasses. There are 12 wine, 12 water, 12 dessert and 10 juice glasses that all match. That all have STEMS....that are all SOOOO cute. Oh, and Denial ALSO bought me a juice pitcher set with 4 juice glasses. Only he wants to use it for Mai Tai's. Damn Denial!! I think he's gay. He KNOWS how I love the gays and want an entourage of gay BFF's!!

So, I ended up packing up all the stemware that I originally kept and will divvy that up between kids and friends, and I washed and put up all the NEW stemware in the cabinet. I also made Mai Tai's in the pitcher. I made Mr. P use the little juice glasses to drink my Mai Tai's as well. He thinks Denial may be gay, too.

After we moved and after dad was sick and we were never home, our Kitty Joe decided that he wouldn't pee in his litter box anymore. He much preferred towels on the floor. Or blankets. Or dog beds. We took to locking him up in the room WITH his box every day, and he peed on the floor. Still does. Right in front of the door so inevitably someone STEPS in it as we come in or out.

Mr. P. is unofficially in charge of Kitty duty. He's fed up beyond belief that Kitty Joe is peeing in the house and not in the box. He Poopies in his box, so why not make the Pee Pee there, too?

We decided to have him checked for a urinary tract infection, and GUESS WHAT? It was negative. His failure to use the box is BEHAVIORAL, and not bacterial. Great. How does one teach an OLD cat to use his box again? The vet says it's not likely to happen. I really don't want to put him to sleep. It seems like such a LAME reason to lose a pet. A really COOL pet. I am a huge pet lover/advocate so you all must be asking WHY would we even ENTERTAIN the idea of putting him down? Because, we now live in this bigger, lovelier home. It's got CARPET in nearly half of it. We can't afford to mess up another house. We really put the screws to our old house and this one deserves some love....and no cat pee! Besides, my dad owns it, and dad and cat pee aren't' seeing eye to eye.

Therefore, we are trying an alternative to euthinazation. KITTY PROZAC! Studies have shown that 75% of cats that stop using the litter box go back to using it while taking the kitty Prozac. Now, Stacey, the Vet, says in her clinical experience, 75% is way too high, but she has seen about a 25% improvement in cats. Well, since we moved to a farm, and since we left him alone all those weeks when Dad was sick, maybe this will work! He already has a Gay BFF (Buster, the dog) so he doesn't need Denial! So, I'm hoping the Kitty Prozac will work. We are tiptoeing around the house today, because it's 4 pm and so far there's no sign of any cat pee around.

Wish us luck, Internet!! We need it and the Pharmaceutical companies are Banking on all of this working for Kitty Joe and Me.

Toodles for now!!

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Last month, when I went to THE MISSION to meet up with some classmates, I was quiet, and sat in a seat and 'people watched'. There was another planned get together last night, and this time, Mr. P went with me so I had a driver.

I don't know how many cosmos I drank.....either 5 or 6. Mr. P thinks 6, I think 5, but regardless, at this point, does ONE difference really matter? I do drink alcohol, but not generally to excess. So, this was quite in excess!! But HOW FUN was it?

First of all, I'd like to thank Casey, Wendell and Teenie for buying me drinks and Gary for offering. You guys BOYS were buying me drinks (except Teenie....she's not a boy)!! Now, I'm thinking Mr. P wasn't so thrilled, but it was polite, not like a 'pick up'. They were generous and thoughtful and I found it charming. Here I go a bit with my convoluted memories of my youth compared to now:

As a teenager, I was very tiny and 'cute'. Not stunning, not beautiful, but 'cute'. I always wanted to be the Homecoming queen and a cheerleader, but I didn't fit the popularity bill OR the athleticism that cheerleaders needed. I desperately wished I was popular. As if that would 'make' me or something.

Now, I'm a grown up. Still cute (LOL), however not so tiny. I'm the one in the class that gained the weight and feels self conscious. I'm the one who worries that people judge---even though I have NO reason to feel this way.

I'm also so ashamed of me as a young person and I'm sure OTHERS as young people. We were abhorrent to one another in High School. You had to fit in with certain 'cliques' to be recognized, or to be thought highly of. We JUDGED one another based on looks, not personality or if we 'clicked' with anyone. I look at my teen (and 20's) kids and know that they, too, will realize that friends are made way differently in LIFE than in High School.

The group of people that tend to come most of the time are awesome. And we've had many people that drop in that we haven't seen in years! The beautiful thing about it is that FINALLY we treat each other as people and not as high school pigeonholed stereotypes. Well, there are SOME that still gravitate towards the same 'types' of people that one may think is 'supposed' to be, but even those individuals are happy, and seemingly interested in everyone. EVERYONE....not just the 'popular' kids or the 'rich' kids or the whatever label we had back then.

Teenie came with Mr. P and me, and PeePee came for a while, which totally THRILLED me because she's so beautiful, and so many people there know her dad....my brother...who is 3 full years younger than me, so it always funny to me to see the reaction to my YOUNGER brother having a 25 yr old daughter. Sorry, Jeff....but it is entertaining to see people's eyes when I tell them.

My dear friend Bill knew PeePee right away without being introduced. Bill( (who is a female) and I have been friends for 25 years, and she knew my family well. She knows Jeff and that he was a teenage father. She stopped next to PeePee last night and said how BEAUTIFUL she is and that she's a perfect mix of her mother and father....which is very true. She certainly inherited the good stuff.......I was impressed with Bills ability to know EXACTLY who my beautiful niece was, because of resemblance!! lol.

Anyway, despite the fact we 45 year olds were playing out a teen 'coming of age' movie, it was so fun. Oh, except for when I got choked and spat my mouthful of COSMO onto Teenie. God, that was mortifying. I mean I guess I'm glad it was her, but still.......despite the fact I was pretty tipsy, I had my bearings enough to know how AWFUL that was! I just coughed at the wrong time and looked like a fool. Sorry, Teenie. I know you probably had to shower off the sticky residue of my cosmopolitan.

So, here's a shout out to the class of 1984....and the classes surrounding that have people that stop in.....it's a blast and THANK GOODNESS we behave far differently now than we did then. For me, it's appreciated and noted that just because we may not have been close years ago, doesn't mean we can't become friends now. And thanks for Mr. P for sitting there looking smokin'hot. I got a good one, girls!! He says he didn't like the boys buying me drinks, but he had his share of girls trying to talk to people at our table and um, MAN handling him and pressing all over him to get close to hear people, so I think we're even. He now knows one girl far better than I ever will!! lol! He hates the social scene, so I hope he goes with me again. My core group of friends tried to help and make sure he was comfortable, but still.....he's leery of this type of thing. It's awesome that he cares enough to come with me and be my driver so I can act a fool now and then!!

Toodles for now. I'm going to try to convince Mr. Perfectly to take me to an auction. More on that later.

Onions are not my friend.

I made some kick-ass potato soup last night, AND some homemade bread.

Now, despite my adoration of cooking, and complete enjoyment of SOUPS.......I don't enjoy a THICK, creamy soup. Commercial clam chowders? blech. Chain restaurant soups that are anything "cream" or "cheese"? gag.

My problem with soups in a restaurant is to me many taste canned. Fake. PROCESSED. It makes me shudder. For me, this holds especially true for cream soups.

Anyway, I make an untraditional potato soup. I like it, my family likes it, so you all can sneer if you choose, because it works for me. I basically only use onions, celery, LOTS OF BUTTER, milk (skim), salt and pepper (oh...and of course potatoes). It's a brothy soup that is yummy.

I used a pretty big onion this time, and the soup was oniony, but it was SO good. I ate two bowls.

This morning, I was in the shower and kept smelling the deep sulphur-ish smell of onion. I smelled my fingers, and scrubbed them........holy COW, y'all....I realized that it was my BREATH.......my breath hanging in the droplets of steam in my shower. I barely TOUCHED the onions and my fingers were as Hawaiian Coconutty as my body wash allowed!! It could have been nothing else but FUNK emitting from my MOUTH!!! C R IN G E!!

I have issues with things like garlic and onions (AHEM) "staying" with me. But I knew if I could smell it so could half of our county.

I gargled and kept to myself today---kept more than a polite distance from my co-workers and PRAYED that I was bearable. Sans the steam, I had NO CLUE if I was offensive or not.

Sheesh, guys. How mortifiying! All from an innocent bowl of soup. Okay TWO bowls of soup. I'm not sure all the Listerine in the world would combat my issue today.

Let's hope that tomorrow's steam doesn't reveal more than I bargain for in the Morning.

Toodles for now.

Have you ever wished you were Mennonite?

No? Me either. However, I live near a Mennonite community, which I think is totally cool. It's awesome to see those living a different lifestyle just by driving down a country highway. I see people riding their bicycles as transporation, and people using the horse and buggy. I see laundry hanging out to dry most times of the year, and children running and playing.

I would say it's a simple life, but seriously? How can I? I've never lived it....I've never used just the basics to live. I understand that the Mennonites do allow some modern conveniences into their lives, however, I assume it's not to the extent I am used to.

Anyway, the local Mennonite community also has really cool stores. They have a wide range of items sold in bulk. It ranges from spices to pasta to flour! They have frozen veggies and pies for sale, too! It's the NEATEST place. I love going. The one most commonly known around here is Weaver's Country Market, near Versailles, MO. Remember, Internets, we've HAD this conversation before....round these parts it's not called "VER-SAI", but "VUR-SALES" I only live about 15 miles or so from this market. It's totally adorable. They have a small machine in there and they grind their own nuts to make peanut butters! Flavored ones! Like Chocolate, and cappucino! They make cashew butter, too! I can't eat that....I'm allergic to cashews......sucks for me, huh? Anyway, despite the fact they get their food from suppliers like most retail businesses, I like to think of the lovely Mennonite people packaging this cool stuff from scratch......why? Because it adds to the simple life fantasy that alot of us have. We want our tv's and car's and ready made food, BUT we think we want to life off the land. To grow our own stuff.....to make bread.....NO PRESERVATIVES. Well, if you all are like me, it's a nice thought, but not realistic. So, for the sake of my fantasy world, I'll continue to think that cute Mennonite women and girls are doing all of this so we "English" customers can have a taste of the simple life.

Anyway, Heather, my niece and I are going there today. We are also going to Burger's Smokehouse factory store. I am not sure, but I think Burgers has smoked hams and sausages that they sell all throughout the US. Oh, and bacon. Yum. Anyway, they have really good deals on 'seconds' at their store. I know, as weird as I am about food, why would I buy a defective ham? Well, because the HAM isn't defective, it's the way they cut it.....like the spiral cuts are off or soemthing. They sell pieces and ends of bacon for like $2.99 or something. Bacon is 'SPENSIVE people, and Burgers Bacon is good. Last time it was pepper bacon. MMMM...and despite it's 'pieces and ends' disclaimer, it was meatier than the streaky crap I buy at the grocery!!

Speaking of Heather, she wants a nickname like most others on my blog. She and I have a running feud as as to who's status reigns highest in the family hierarchy. She has not, and will not realize that my status is 20 years her senior, and I was the FIRST at just about everything. First child in the family...first GRANDCHILD, etc. That alone wins. She calls herself the Princess, which of course was my title, so I changed it and tell her frequently that QUEEN totally trumps Princess.....but she's not buying. She thinks she should be called Perfectly Princess in my blog. I've told her NO WAY.....but she pouts and pretends as if I'm hurting her in some way, so I will go with it. Just for her. However, y'all know that I don't type out all my nicknames all the time....just like Mr. P. I don't call him Mr. Perfectly all the time......just MR. P, and you know who I mean, right? So from here on, Heather will be called PeePee....short for Perfectly Princess. World, Meet PeePee!!

I know....the thought process would be to call her PP, but PeePee has finer comedic value, so what the PeePee wants, the PeePee shall get.

PeePee and I will be off to Burgers and to Weavers when she gets here. It should be pretty fun!!

Toodles for now!!